A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Thank you in advance to anyone who answers. I went out on a date with a guy that I thought I really liked a couple of months ago. We did get hot and heavy a bit on that first date...I could see that he seemed to really like me. For some reason I got cold feet about pursuing the relationship....I had just ended a seven year relationship. I was honest and sat down with him and told him I did not want to lead him on. I think he is a terrific guy and would like his friendship but he says he is not interested. Any ideas why he is not willing to meet for a friendly meal or coffee every now and then. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, londonthieves  +, writes (16 April 2007):
you're trying to have your cake and eat it too.. stop leading him on, good for him that he doesn't want friendship.
If it was the other way round, i would've been telling you to stop seeing this person if the feeling is not mutual.
However if you are genuniely not sure, explain this to him and tell him face to face..
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (15 April 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I loved Shawn's advice!
It sounds like to me that this guy isn't interested in friendship because it will lead him on. If he really likes you, he's going to want to BE with you, not torture himself by getting coffee with you every now and again as "friends". If he is sincere in his affection, then he probably won't want to tease himself by hanging out with you if you aren't interested in anything other than a platonic friendship.
Or, as Shawn pointed out, he might just be looking for more booty and when you say "friendship" he hears "no more hot and heavy". (in which case, do you really want to be hanging out with him anyway?)
Good luck, sweetness. Just thought I'd put my two cents in!
xxIndia
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