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After a week of dating he wants to have sex

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2017)
A female Kenya age 26-29, anonymous writes:

i met this guy a year ago and he wanted me to be his girlfriend but i refused ...

we were not in a relationship then but now after that one year he came back and i again refused so after four months i started having feelings for him and i talked to him and we are now in a relationship

i love him so much and he loves me back...after one week of our come back he wants me to sleep with him and i don't want ...he has never gave me a text nor a call.... and i still love him i don't know if he is after sex or not please help me we are in the same campus

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 October 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIt is not love after a week, he may say he loves you but it is only because he wants sex, if he had respect for you he would not be trying to have sex with you after one week off dating.

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A female reader, 02DuszJ United Kingdom +, writes (2 October 2017):

02DuszJ agony auntYou won't give it to him, so he keeps pushing for it- you're what wiseowl said- a conquest. Give it to him and you wont be his beau or his lover, you'll be a notch on his bedpost.

Please get a hold on yourself. You're clever enough to get into university, you're clever enough to see through him- REGARDLESS of the "love" (lust) you feel he doesn't return it- we don't need to know him to see that- the fact he wants to push you into doing something you don't want to do says A LOT.

You can't know someone after a week. I think if you're that naive, you need your mum to go out with you. I get the impression maybe the sex ed/ PSHE education isn't the best where you live

Would you pressure him into something he's uncomfortable with? No. You actually care about people's feelings.

He DOESN'T EVER CONTACT YOU.. he only has one type of "feeling" for you.

Go ahead and think with your genitals. If you're ready to set yourself up for a shitload of pain- he will drop you after he's got what he wants..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2017):

I don't think you love him. I think you are fond of him; and feel attached. I don't think he loves you either. You're a challenge, and he wants to beat the challenge.

If he loved you, sex would not be pressured upon you. He would also contact you regularly.

Take your time, and don't do anything until you're ready! If he cares as much as you think he does, he'll wait.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (30 September 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntYou LOVE him? After a week? PLEASE. You are not 10 years old. You may possibly fancy him, lust after him or really like what you have seen so far, but you cannot love him after being in a relationship with him for a week. Stop kidding yourself.

On the sex front, don't ever let anyone coerce you into doing anything you do not feel is right for you. If you do not want sex with him yet, just say "I don't think it is the right time yet" and mean it. When you are SURE of his love for you, you will probably be open to the idea of sex with him.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYou don't love each other - you've only been dating a week. He's saying he loves you because he wants sex. You think you love him because you want it to be love.

If you don't want to get hurt or used for sex, dump him.

Take it slow with dating - don't think you're in love just because you like someone. Be strong.

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