| A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Help please! My girlfriend of 4 years, some of them smooth, some rough, but it's been wonderful this past year, just told me last night that she didn't know if I was the one anymore. She has been under massive stress at work for the past 2 months, and on top of that she is taking a college class 2x a week..I am supportive and caring, and place no demands on her..we don't live together, but try to see each other every day..we work nearby...she has been happy, excited and caring, coming to visit me at work often. But last week i had an event at work that upset me, and I was upset with her when she came over to visit and she didn't have much to offer..like a hug or soft shoulder rub...(i realize that is silly now). She has been super stressed, and she decided to tell me that she has been thinking about us...the issue is this...she is NOT a partier, but a good solid girl..yet she hasn't been in a relationship for 4 years and she is concerned that her feelings initially have subsided, and her sex drive towards me has diminished..she asked is it normal, and I said yes of course. I asked her if she enjoyed my company and if I made her laugh, and she said yes, but I feel like your best friend...well, I told her that that's ideal for a relationship of 4 years..she said I do love you, and wasn't looking to take a break or anything...what is she thinking and did I hear her right? I do love her and want to work it out, but I don't want to be left out there while she is deciding what to do....help please!!thank you !!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, monkeylove +, writes (20 December 2006):
It would be helpful to know her age, first and foremost.
First of all, her feelings are not uncommon. When a reltionship begins, our hearts beat faster and everything is new and wonderful. Well, what most people don't realize, is that real life sets in. Daily stress from work, school and other obligations occur, and without even realizing it's happening, we let ourselves get into a "routine".
Any relationship worth keeping requires constant work and care. We have to be aware of each others needs and to keep any sexual relationship healthy, you need to do keep things new and different. Try and be more passionate and do some experimentation.
It sounds to me like she was looking to get some sort of response from you when she expressed herself. Maybe, you have not been as attentive to her and her needs? Try to keep the passion alive and show a bit more love and support.
Feeling like you are her best friend is good. When you go through life with someone, you need to be friends, because passion wans and life is hard....you need someone who knows you and enjoys you to make it through.
Good Luck
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