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Afraid she didn't enjoy her first time -- how can I be better?

Tagged as: Dating, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How To Sexually Connect with my girlfriend?

Hey everyone,

I've been going out with my girlfriend for 4 months now, and recently she's started hinting that she might want to have sex. She is a virgin.

However, I've never had sex with a virgin before, till last night and well It was great for me I enjoyed it but my girls did not come. She told me that she felt disconnected from me. She was a little distance after we had sex. So i am worry now.I need help.what can I do during sex, if I get do do it again. what positon can I use to make it more enjoyable for both.

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A female reader, Brokenv Canada +, writes (12 February 2013):

The first time is hard.....as a female we have ideas in our head of what our first time should be like. A first time is going to be flowers, fireworks, the earth will move and I will be a woman. If that makes sense.

You need to be sensitive and ask her want she wants, what she needs. females in general are tough. Your patience and caring towards her will be her happiness and you in the long run.

You are not superman. Don't be hard on yourself. Just be there....in the moment. That is all you can do. You asking the question tells me you honestly care for her.

Good Luck Friend!

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A female reader, when nothing goes right go left United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2013):

when nothing goes right go left agony auntLeave it to her tell you when she next wants it and let her know that you could do it again when she feels ready, if she says about it then get eachother maybe share a relaxing and imtimate experience such as a bath or shower together or massage each other because she might be tense at first so this aswell as foreplay will help her relax and get into the mood put on sexy music and encourage her to tell you what she

wants you to do and the last time was her first time so its normal for it to not feel perfect. But after a few times she will begin to relax more.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013):

It really depends why she felt disconnected. If it was purely because she didn't come then she needs to realise that hardly any women do their first time. In fact as SVC says, many always struggle with it. Saying that it can be achieved if you work together to find out what she likes. That's half the fun in my opinion! But if it's because of a deeper reason, like if she regrets it or something, then it might be a bit harder to fix. You are going to have to speak to her to find out what the problem is then you can work out how to fix it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (11 February 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntit's not about the positions... it's about so many other things...

you say she's hinting she might want to have sex in the first sentence. then you say you had sex with her last night... or did you have sex with a different virginal girl (not your girlfriend)

I hope you are aware that less than 30% of all women orgasm from penetration and no position in the world will change that.

Some women are not able to orgasm from anything but oral and some cannot orgasm with a partner only alone.

and sadly there are a few who can't orgasm at all (I know of one it's very sad)....

my bigger concern is that she was distant after sex... did you have afterplay? talking, cuddling, ice cream eating???

why would you think you won't get to do it again

are you leaving stuff out? did you "persuade her" to have sex when she wasn't really ready?

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