A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years. However, out of the blue, she sent a text message asking for a break. She said she didn't want things to end, just a short break. It was not stemmed from a fight and she made it clear she still loved me. I told her that I didn't want a break, but there isn't much I could do to fight it. Now I am sitting here lonely. So here is my question, what's does a break involve? Does anyone have experience with taking breaks? What's the probability she will come back?As a follow up to the situation, we met on November 11 and 11 has been our lucky number throughout the relationship. I had an idea to surprise her with 11 roses and 11 origami swans. I still want to do this, even though it would only be 3 weeks into the break. Would this be a good idea or bad idea?
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female
reader, Miss Lou +, writes (7 November 2014):
A break means different things to different people. Do not buy flowers or even contact her. If she initiated it, she should end it, make the first contact, etc. Buy the flowers after she returns to you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): Chigirl nailed it. It's either a "let you down easy" way to break up, and/or its because she wants a loophole to go cheat with some other guy.
Ask your GF if she will agree to a "break" where neither of you are allowed to see (screw) other people. She will probably resist agreeing to that stipulation. And that will tell you everything you need to know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2014): ive noticed almost everyone who has given "their advice" havent actually said if they have been through a break and what happened to them they have all given negative words saying she will dump u well if everyone read what u put they would see u also said she doesnt want to end things ive had a break in a relationship and didnt break up it doesnt mean u will it just means a break from the routine u are in just give her the time she wants, did she say how long the break is for ? what is a short break did she tel u how long she wanted ? just message her saying hope shes well and how long is the break she wants also that u arnt rushing her its just so u know when ull be together again if she doesnt know then u decide how long u will wait for her and tell her something like b4 the end of the month u hope to be back together and leave her to think n decide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): Somebody who breaks up with you on a whim, without a discussion, by text is not long term relationship material.
A break doesn't fix anything anyway because whatever you're trying to fix by breaking up is IN the relationship. If you get back together you will have more breaks in the future because you have not fixed the initial problem.
If you had a break for no reason then HOW EXACTLY are you in a relationship?
Relationships necessarily mean being s couple. Playing single while in a relationship defeats the whole point of the relationship.
Sorry mate, I think this is a lost cause.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 November 2014):
 Chigirl nailed it. Whilest it's usually us guys who do the "break" routine .... so we can try out some little hottie who's caught our eye.... it's not unheard of that the lady try the same thing....
Tread lightly, and don't let your heart overrule your head in this matter.... at least not until you know exactly what your G/F "means" by the "break."
Good luck..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): If she asked for a break u should have decided rules , it doesnt always mean she wants to go have fun and break up with u, i had a break from my boyfriend he was just gettin a bit too suffocating and i set rules i said a 2 week break and no going off with anyone else so we were still in the relationship just having a kind of holiday. u really need to ask her does she have an idea of how long she needs and state to her u dont have any intention of wandering and ull be there when shes ready
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 November 2014):
 And a third vote for she's using this as a way to have guilt free fooling around with someone else.. a break of this type specifically (out of the blue without any conversations about time frames or why or anything) is never a good sign.
I would just go on your way and pretend she's gone forever.. IF and when she comes back to you asking to get back together you can decide if you want to be her sloppy seconds... I would say no.
I would not send her gifts or try to contact her or anything.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 November 2014):
Awe, honey, I agree with chigirl. A break is breaking up. I'm sorry, you sound really sweet. I wouldn't waste the time or money on your lovely gift idea if I were you.
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A
female
reader, mightaphodite +, writes (5 November 2014):
I agree with chigirl. A break means no relatinship stuff.
There's just one small problem. I understand that sometimes people need time for themselves, especially if there are some big decisions to be made.
But, if it's just a break for no reason... there's not such a thing for a break for no reason. Maybe she just doesn't know how to end things and doesn't want to be the bad guy?
Or worse, what chigirl said, wants to see how green is the grass someplace else.
Find out what this "break" really consist of... and ask yourself what is it that you want.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 November 2014):
 Darling you.. A break is a "nice"/cowardly way to break up with someone, or gives the other person a guilt free chance to screw around with someone else. If you want to know what it means, then you need to talk to her about what you can and can not do during this break. Because I have a gut feeling shes looking for a pause in order to sleep with someone else, then get back with you in case the grass wasnt greener on the other side. If I am wrong about this, then it would be safe to ask her about rules for the break: no sex/kissing with someone else. Listen closely to her reaction. As for flowers? No! A break means no relationship stuff.
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