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Advice needed? Is he using me for sex?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2009) 10 Answers - (Newest, 21 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hiya :)

I'm 15. There's this boy I've liked for a while. we'll call him connor. I've been on a date with him but that was months ago. He knows i still like him and he says he likes me too. we're quite close friends and have been for about a year, we were texting the other night and he asked if i wanted sex. He's nearly 16, I'm a virgin and hes been with like 7 girls, its not that i dont want to a dunno what it is, I'm a bit scared in case i do somethin wrong but when he asks i dont want to say no because it makes me look like a idiot but then again he might be using me for sex because he's done it to people before but I really do like him, what should I do?. xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009):

Dear '13-15 year-old female', be aware that you might also have to face some competition for 'connor's affections from a gay guy who was bombarding this site a while ago with rather pathetic, driven, childish questions about how to get his hands on a guy also called 'connor' (He mentioned something about them masturbating one another in class at school for years on end without being caught).

This doesn't mean they're the same person, since the world is a very large place undoubtedly full of guys called 'connor'. But he could be.

Just a thought.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2009):

heyy :)

thanks :D

i've told 'connor' i dont want to have sex untill i know hes not just using ne for that i want to wait til im in a relationship he said it was fine and we're still really good friends.

i also done another date with him at the weekend, and might be doing 1 again this weekend so its all good :)

and btw, 7 girls actually isnt alot where im from lol x

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A female reader, AngellicaWaters United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

AngellicaWaters agony auntWhen you have sex the first time it should be more so with someone who really loves you and who doesn't take such a special thing so casually. Seriously, if you can create life with sex, it should be respected!

Just tell him that you like him, but you don't want to be dealing with something as huge as sex right now.

If you don't want to have sex, you don't want to. That is something a good friend would respect. If he only wants sex and doesn't want to be your friend, then it's better for you.

Plus anyone who sees you two together probably would find you more approachable. Sometimes if a guy sees a girl with another guy, he might be too intimidated to talk to her even if he really likes her.

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A female reader, cherry cherry boom boom United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

Just tell him the truth and you won't look like an idiot he will look like an idiot if he leaves a nice girl .

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A female reader, Fifteen United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

Hey I'm 15 too and I know exactlywhat you mean. I'm in the same exsct situation. I don't want to admit it or believe it myself but all he wants is sex. Guys that age just look at it as a competition between friends. Who can "score" the most. Don't give yourself away that easy. In the future you'll be happy if you don't. Don't feel like an idiot. Feel proud that you're not as easy as those other 7 girls(: and if he did it once or 7 times, what's gonna stop him from doing it to you?

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A female reader, Renee okc United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

You do not need to be sleeping with someone if he is not in a committed relationship with you, He can go and sleep with those 7 girls he already has been with. For his age 7 girls is alot and you dont the emotional issues that come with having sex trust me stay a virgin as long you can once you loose it you cannot get it back and why waste a good thing on a maybe boy that is only interested in getting off. Just because he asked you doesnt mean that he expects you to say yes if he is your friend then he will understand better yet dont comment act like you never heard the question ok . DO THE RIGHT THING YOU HAVE ALOT TO LOSE AND HE HAS NOTHING PLUS REMEMBER S.T.D.'S YOU DONT WANT THAT STRESS......

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A female reader, lovnlife United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

dont do it why give up yourself to someone who dont want you save it for someone who gone treat you like you are the most important person in the world once its gone you dont get it back and why would you want to be number 8 in his book hes nasty anyway why is he only 16 and already had 7 people he cant be the one for you sweetie he a pervert out to get as many notches under his belt as he can and after hes get it its pretty obvious he moves on to the next target dont do it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

You should not have sex with him. If I was more interested in sex with girls rather than trying to be with someone I would have sex with lots of girls. He shouldn't have had 7 partners by the age of 16. Please do not be his number 8... or number 9 or which ever number he's on right now. You can be friends with him, but unless he's intending to marry you, no sex. He'll be texting someone else after you and your post will then be asking how you stop him from doing that and he won't stop.

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A female reader, Beybii_Boo United Kingdom +, writes (2 July 2009):

Beybii_Boo agony auntHello Sweet,

To be honest he seems like my ex boyfriend...be really careful because if you lose it to him you will feel you have a really deep connection with him and boys like that just want sex and nothing else. Id try and start a relationship before i go any further with him.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (2 July 2009):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntHow does saying no make you look like an idiot? Are you actually a 15 year old girl posting this or someone else?

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