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Adoring my workmate from afar

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi there everyone

OK, here goes. I am in LUST with a man at work. This isn't going away. I have lusted after him for over a year. I sit in meetings and look at things like... the tiny little hairs on his arms. Or his lovely eyes. Or his beautiful aristocratic brows... His aftershave gives me palpitations. When he speaks to me - I end up sounding like an idiot because I just can't concentrate and end up saying stupid things. I think about him whenever I have sex with my husband - and I love my husband and enjoy our sex life. I think about him many, many times each day. I am not sure what to do. I am obsessed. I mean, I think about him constantly and have imaginary conversations with him.

I have a feeling he barely knows I exist. And yet, other times... well. I can't be sure. He's a very senior director, who most people are quite scared of. But I'm not, and I know he quite likes that. He recently brought in his holiday photos (because I'm about to go to the same place he went recently and we got talking about it) and we sat down together and looked at them for an hour and he told his secretary to hold all his calls. I know it doesn't sound like much, but this is the kind of thing no one would ever expect him to do - he's usually so unapproachable - so I'm starting to think maybe he does like me. When we are alone together, somehow there are no barriers and we are very familiar with each other. But I'm not sure if this means anything. I want him so desperately. I'm so desperate for him I might do something stupid, like tell him how I feel some time when we have a meeting, or have work drinks. This is serious - not sure what to do.... I want him so much!

L x

View related questions: at work, sex life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

He admires you for a romp in the sack and being a director he is planning a tryst the moment you are ready. You will lose your job and probably your husband. Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntDo you honestly see anything good coming from this?

Think it over. Having a Crush is all fine and dandy, but when you are mentally replacing him with your husband in your marriage bed I think you have crossed some lines.

I think you need to reevaluate your feelings, your morals and values, what YOU think is right and wrong.

Having a "fantasy" guy is nice, but you really HAVE to realize that for what it is.

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A female reader, karen1989 United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

karen1989 agony auntOk you fancy him, you fancy him badd.

BUT you love your husband right? Whats more important? The lust you feel for this guy or the love you share with your husband?

Too many people give into lust and end up runining happy relationships and marraiges. Think about it.

Good luck :).

Karen.

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