A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am very happy I found this site. I am very insecure with my body to the point to where I sometimes just look in the mirror and cry. I have been in 2 relationships. Both of them ended basically because of my body insecurities/issues. I would never let them see my body and the few basic sexual acts we did do, I had to be fully clothed or the lights had to be off. I have some ugly skin problems that are genetic (that have no cure), I have major acne scars on my chest and breasts from when I use to suffer from a lot of acne, I have extreme stretch marks on my breasts, butt, and hips. And then to make things even worse, I have horrible scars on the top of my back and the back of my shoulders from an accident when I was a teen. I really don't know what to do anymore. My body is something I have always hated and will continue to hate. We live in a world where perfect bodies and perfect skin is something that is suppose to be expected from girls my age. It's what turn guys on, it's what they really want and like. What guy would enjoy a body that has scars, acne, stretch marks, and skin problems? Even I am disgusted by it..I feel like I will never be secure and happy in a relationship. I want to be able to experience sex without feeling so insecure and ashamed of what my body looks like. It's totally just ruining my life. I don't think seeking professional help is going to do me any good.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 February 2015):
"Even I am disgusted by it."
Unfortunately, more often than not, people are disgusted with their own bodies even though other people may not be.
My wife has acne scars, she's just under 5 ft tall, she has thin hair that only looks good when it's cut short, she has small boobs/butt, and a skin condition that caused discoloration on her chest.
These are things that have made get self esteem pretty low (although she doesn't hate herself, she just doesn't see beauty in herself).
The funny thing is, the first time I meet her I was mesmerized... It wasn't just her looks, it was her attitude, personality, etc. However I was and 8 years later, still am, extremely attracted to her.
Instead of her flaws I see her beauty. She has amazing eyes, a beautiful brown skin color that's soft as a baby's, a beautiful face, a sexy voice, and her petite body is still beautiful to me. My ex had a scar on her face from an accident which didn't bother me at all, but she was terribly self conscious of it.
Let your potential mate decide if you are right for them, don't decide before they have a chance. Will some guys not like you're scars? Maybe, but some guys don't like brown hair too. The right guy will love you and be attracted to you, flaws and all.
There are plenty of supermodels who I don't think are attractive at all. Should that fact bother them?
If you live yourself and we'll only accept a man who lives who you are you'll be good to go. I promise you that your flaws are not things that most guys have a serious issue with.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 February 2015):
 HALF the fun of a new lover is laying in bed after making love doing the "where'd this scar come from" game.
there is a great scene in the movie "working girl" with Harrison Ford. He has a huge scar on his chin and they often incorporate it into his roles. in this case it was the first light after sex... and Melanie Griffin asks him where he got the scar... it's a good read on how we deal with things.
trust me when I say that GOOD men love the insides of their woman and the outsides just make it interesting... we all have scars... and most women have pot bellies, stretch marks, saggy breasts and butts... and our men still love us.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (3 February 2015):
 From what you've said, neither of your boyfriends had an issue with your body. It was you who had the issue with it. They may have been completely fine with how you are, but you never gave them the chance.
No-one is perfect. Being happy is not about trying to be perfect, but being content with what you have. Yes, see a dermatologist, but more importantly know that most men would probably have no problem whatsoever with your appearance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): I feel for you as my skin is very bad on my back, face and chest. I have a lot of scars and ones on my face from a reaction I had as a baby. I have never found what causes my skin problems but I have found an antibiotic from the doctors which helps it a bit.
I also have other scars from accidents (I'm into an outdoorsy sports) and a surgical scar on my stomach which destroyed my muscle there, so I also think it looks a bit weird now. I don't mind the accident ones as I think they show I'm risky and exciting lol
I can tell you this I've had quite a few boyfriends and none of them ever commented on my skin/scars etc. They were way too interested in the sex to be blunt.
Any man that is more interested in your scars then your women's body is a bit of a weirdo to be honest. In my experience men don't work like that, they are way too interested in what is going on! The person who notices them the most is you, so learn to accept and ignore the scars.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): When I lost a lot of weight and wanted to get rid of excess of my hanging belly and inner thighs extra skin, I asked all excited my plastic surgant if it will be PERFECT, and you know what he said the man who's job supposedly to make people perfect, he said: NOONE IS PERFECT and never will be. I can make you look much better, but don't expect me to make you look perfect, and what is perfect anyway?
So, I went ahead with a surgery, and now I have this amazing flat belly, and " better" looking legs, but now I have 3 long scars: one is at the very bottom of my belly, and 2 on a sides that go between my legs. It's been 3 years, so they faded quite a bit and almost white, but they are still there.
I knew I did the right thing, and i knew i looked really good in my new body, but still those scars prevented me from dating for a whole year. Then when I met my boyfriend, I told him the story, and he could not believe i lost all this weight. Then i told him about my scars that at that time were red and horrid looking. The first time we had sex, he looked at them and said: do you really think that it would stop any man to be with you if he really wanted to be with you? You have a beatifull body, how can these scars stop someone from loving you? It's been 2 years since we are together.,
Now, back to your acne scars. There is a therapy that uses micro needles to get rid of scars. It is really amazing and not expensive. Ask your dermatologist. Also laser which is expensive. There is help out there with all the products they have out and treatments. again it's not going to make you perfect but much better.
And please don't think that all guys want is a perfect girl. They want the same as us, someone to be with. They are not going to be disgusted with a few stratchmarks on your body, believe me. You know when women have babies, how many stratchmarks they have all over the belly and breasts, their husband s don't leave them based on that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 February 2015):
 From being a VERY active kid/teen (tom-boy pretty much) I have scars everywhere. I have had stitches maybe 15-20 times and the scars to match. BOTH my knees have scars, one from surgery (about 6 inches long) another from a bike incident, and a dirt-bike incident. But my legs general shape are nice, so I HAVE NEVER hid the scars. I have NEVER thought I HAD to wear pantyhose to hide the scars. Or long pants/skirts.
There is a story with every scar. It's only SKIN deep. You skin is NOT all you are, but it does present you to the "world" in a sense. YOU need to learn how to embrace you. HIDING yourself, HATING yourself won't make you any happier or any braver. And honestly NO ONE IS perfect. Some have amazing skin, some don't. The BETTER you DO take CARE of your skin the better IT will look.
To even out redness or discoloration, opt for an over-the-counter scar-fading cream that contains kojic acid, arbutin, and vitamin C. These ingredients exfoliate skin to restore texture and tone.
Laser treatment can help too (depending on the scars you have)
Have you been to a dermatologist? If not, GET GOING. There are SO many products out there that can help fade the scars, but there are also many products that can cover them up, if THAT makes you feel more comfortable.
The scars on your back are from an accident. If a guy find that bad to look at there is something WRONG with him.
Stretchmarks? MANY MANY people have them, MEN and WOMEN. Bio oil can minimize their redness and over time they DO fade.
YOU won't FIND happiness in a relationship if you HATE yourself. Because NO guy can convince you that you are a BEAUTIFUL person JUST the way you are. Yes, SOCIETY loves "perfect" people. Because they are like UNICORNS! They really don't exist. EVERYONE has flaws. So what YOU do is find things about yourself you DO love, and high light those. And I don't think there are many guys who are so shallow ans superficial that they think YOU have to be perfect for them.
So, GO see your dermatologist, START there.
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