A
male
age
22-25,
*rymlocke666
writes:HiHere's the problem. I love a girl that lives overstate. We've been talking for over 5 years now. She lives in NewYork and I live in Florida. Just this summer she's visited me for the third time in three years. She has school so it's not like she's able to live with me until she graduates.This summer was by far the most romantic, so I proposed to her before she left to go back home. Now I'm wondering if it was a big mistake. She lives so far and she has one more year of school left. I'm thinking it was a bad idea to make her my fiance since I won't be around her for a whole year. Infact I asked her if it's cheating if we're with other people. Naturally, it shouldn't be since we live states apart but the ring kinda complicates that. I have needs and she's too far to help them and I know she feels the same way. There's this girl that I'm into right now (I don't love her, I love my fiance) But if I were to try anything, would it be cheating? I asked my fiance and she said no it wouldn't be cheating because she likes someone over there too. I'm having second thoughts about this engagement. Not because I like other people but because I feel like it's cheating if I see someone else. Just to back up that it's not cheating she sent me a photo of her and another guy holding hands, but in the picture she has her finger with the ring in front of the camera. Below the picture read "We may be worlds apart and our needs physically unfulfilled. But you know I still love you because I NEVER take off your ring."I need some outside advice. Is it considered cheating in this situation?
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male
reader, Grymlocke666 +, writes (8 September 2009):
Grymlocke666 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I appreciate your advise. It's really helped me see where I stand in this relationship. I don't doubt I love her with all of my heart and I'm sure I could go a whole year without sex if it meant being with her by the end of her school term. Infact, I'm thinking I should retract my promise to marry her, for now. I don't like the idea of having a fiance who's still in school and thousands of miles away. Now how am I going to break THAT news to her? I only proposed because we definitely clicked the most this summer. So, a grand event was only natural. Yet, I now know it was a mistake. Maybe once she graduates, then we can a REAL couple.
A
female
reader, icelordess + ♥, writes (8 September 2009):
 I concur 100% with the other aunts. Cheating is cheating if you are supposedly with someone. I don't think either of you are quite ready to be committed to each other, I don't doubt that you love each other, but if you TRULY were into just one another, you'd find a way not to want to see with/be with others. You're talking to someone who was in a LDR for 7 years, and we never cheated. I think your heart was in the right place, but I just don't think being engaged right now is fair to either of you. Maybe its best to see how things go after the year is up. Maybe you could be together then. I hope things work out for you.
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A
male
reader, RobL  +, writes (8 September 2009):
 A relationship is a relationship, whether it's online, offline, or a mixture of both. Cheating is cheating. If you sleep with someone else, or take someone on a date, you're cheating on your girlfriend, or now fiancee. I would strongly advise you do not do this. If you truly do love her, you'll be able to wait as long as it takes to be with her. But if you can't live without sex, you obviously don't love her enough if you can't wait for her.The same applies to her, if she feels the need to cheat on you, then I doubt she loves you as much as you'd like.Sorry to be so blunt/cruel about it, but as I said, cheating is cheating. If you love each other, you should wait for each other, it's that simple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): Well, it is cheaing if you see someone else and if you were doing that before, you've been cheating this whole time. And apparently so has she if she feels the same way. Personally, I don't think either of you are very ready for a relationship.
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