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A new facebook friend has me wondering if he's cheating!

Tagged as: Cheating, Long distance, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend went out of the country for work for a month. He works with mostly older men and his work is made of consistently of men. He had one weekend off from work and decided to go to a festival Saturday night thats held in one of the cities. He said he was going by himself which i understood because his co workers are mostly old. Well saturday night i could not get a hold of him and when i finally did he was pretty short with me. The next day I saw on facebook he had become friends with a foreign girl thats our age that went to the same festival. The festival online said it was over by midnight but he didnt get home till 3. He had the next few days off and has continued to be very short with me. Am i over analyzing the situation or do you think hes cheating on me.

View related questions: co-worker, facebook, older men

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 April 2014):

Honeypie agony auntHmm. I get why you feel a little suspicious.

If he has been short with you, did you ASK him about her? About the festival or did you just try and have one of your "normal" conversations?

If it was about her, he might have been short because he got mad that you are thinking he would cheat.

If he seems a little uncommunicative, I'd simple back off a little and LET him "come" to you. As in HIM call/text you.

He might just have had a fun night out with some new people doesn't mean he is cheating. The thing for me though, is if he hasn't told you much about the festival and these great new folks, something is most likely up. If it was all innocent why wouldn't he tell you about it? (unless you have accused him of cheating in the past).

I'd give him a little space, see what he does.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (15 April 2014):

MSA agony auntIn this case, I would suggest you give him the benefit of the doubt. He is working out of the country, there is time difference and maybe he's tired from work. Give him some space. Maybe send him a text letting him know you're thinking of him and missing him and ask him to call or text you when he has time.

Just because he added a new friend on FB does't mean he's cheating on you. You said he's working with several older men, who he probably doesn't have much in common with.. so to have met a new friend, whether it be female or male, might be a good thing. Shouldn't you be happy for him? Imagine if you were alone in a foreign place with no one to talk to.. wouldn't you welcome a new friend to hang out with?

Since you know who the girl is and seem to be able to view her profile on FB.. if you really feel uncomfortable about their friendship, you might want to check out her profile once in a while to see what she's up to or what posts she is posting.. maybe it will give you more insight as to how close your BF and this girl are. When you and your BF do talk again, ask him about the festival and if he met any new friends during his trip.

Try not to over think and stress yourself out too much, especially if there really isn't anything going on! Remember he IS your boyfriend and relationships are based on trust.

Best of luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014):

I think you need to play this one very cautiously .. But if your gut feels something's amiss then it probably is ..

Just text him hi how's it going, my day been busy then whatever your up to etc .. Then see how he responses .. Stop chasing him though.... Let him text you first ..

Let him share info on his night, and if he doesn't then I would wonder why ..

How long have you been a couple for ?

Sometimes we meet people for a reason they help us along they way to find the right partner that we get our happy ever after with .. He may not be it ..

Also if he's befriended her, why can't you at some point ..?

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