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A little peeved on Valentines Day

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *ink_ipod_girl87 writes:

Okay so, I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now. We have a sort of long distance relationship going on... him being in North Carolina and me being in Maine. It's been kinda rough being away from each other but we do make a point in seeing each other from time to time and we communicate with each other daily through phone, IM or whatever else.

Anyhow... the problem is the gift I got on Valentines Day - a box of chocolates and a card. Now I know it's the thought that counts but... chocolates? How cliche can you get? I would have thought he would have known me better that but whatever... I just pretended I liked it anyway... even though I went out of my way to get him a bonsai tree, something I KNEW he would like.

My real problem is him not saying 'I love you' he has not said that to me since all the time we've been together. I dunno if maybe the relationship is too new for him... maybe I'm being selfish but I've said it to him numerous times and he'll just get quiet.. maybe laugh a little or if we're online together he'll post a little blush smiley but not say much else.

I don't get it really. I know his ex girlfriend cheated on him but that was about 4 years ago. Could he just be afraid of committing himself to me? He didn't even say 'I love you' on the card he gave me.

I'm being patient and the best girlfriend I can be... in the meanwhile, please help me you guys... Am I dong something wrong or is it too soon in the relationship to even bring up anything about this?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex, long distance

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A male reader, goodguy11 United States +, writes (15 February 2010):

Ok first thing take a deep breath. From my experience saying I love you too many times to a girl sometimes drives her away. Maybe this happened to him with his ex where he got too clingy? Maybe he's afraid to drive you away. You never know. Or maybe he doesn't love you just yet. Just because you tell him you love him doesn't mean he feels the same way. Would you rather him be honest and tell you he loves you when he means it or for him to tell you he loves you so you won't feel bad? Loving someone and caring for someone are two different things. From what you wrote he really does care for you. Maybe he does love you and he's just trying to find the right time to tell you. But if I were you I'd be patient and not make it an issue. Just give it some time. I wish you the best.

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