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A female in denial of her feelings. Anyone dealt with that?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2013) 19 Answers - (Newest, 8 August 2013)
A male Saudi Arabia age 36-40, *rancedRhythmEar writes:

Im curious. Has anyone ever dealt with a female who was in denial of her feelings? And if so, what did it take for her to get over it and come around?

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2013):

R1 agony auntI think maybe you should leave this poor girl alone. If she is going through a lot then the last thing she needs is to be pushed by people who are supposed to care about her.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (8 August 2013):

janniepeg agony auntMaybe she saw your profile here and paid attention to what you wrote in #6. She couldn't deal with it.

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A female reader, MsSadie United States +, writes (8 August 2013):

MsSadie agony auntIn denial of what? Can you at least specify that?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013):

She may be in denial, but I don't see where the counselor has advised you to push her any further than she wishes to go. If there is a counselor involved; things have reached a point that she may be overwhelmed. Backing off is a good idea.

I stand by my previous advice. It seems appropriate to your situation.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (7 August 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntIve given a female counselor vivid details of our dates and transcripts of our chats. She says 'theres a great deal of denial on her part' I kno im not telling all the story. Its a mess. But I do appreciate the answers. I am backing off again.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 August 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAgreed that based on follow ups she's not in denial she's just not as interested in what you want as you are...

perhaps she only wants casual and you are not accepting of that? and when you back off she thinks she's getting casual and she's happy and when you pursue her and push her she knows you want more and she does not....

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntHmm, just noticed your update with more info.

She's clearly backed off, for whatever reason. Sometimes people just change their minds as they get to know a person better. The things they said at the beginning are no longer true. It's sad but it happens.

Whatever her reason, you must respect her decision. As hard as that is. Just try to leave her be and get on with life.

Any other course of action may lead to her feeling harassed and you losing dignity/ self respect. Neither are nice.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2013):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntTranced, I happened to read your response to the young man posting about whether he should contact a woman who told him that she's not interested in him romantically. Your response to him sheds some light on your very vague question.

I am assuming (correct me if I'm wrong) that you are romantically involved with someone who has told you she doesn't feel the same way. Yes, that can be difficult to accept. But saying that she is in denial is suggesting that she either has some deep rooted psychological issues or has learning difficulties. If neither of these are the case, her saying she doesn't share your feelings is the truth, and the person in denial is unfortunately yourself.

Respect her words and respect her wishes.

Feel free to correct me if I've jumped to all the wrong conclusions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013):

Respect the parameters a woman sets regarding her feelings.

If there is one thing on this green earth that is a fact.

Women have no problem in expressing their feelings. It may be hard for them to admit to some things.

If they don't want you, they have no problem with the word "NO!!!"

No matter what language they say it. That isn't denial, they mean "NO!"

If she has broken up with you, and doesn't want you back.

There is no denying it. Pressuring her is bullying her.

If she is in denial, it is up to her to reverse whatever she may be denying.

When she is good and ready to do so!

You do not pressure any woman into bending to your will.

Whatever she is in denial of, let it be. Give her time to change her mind. If her mind is already up, you're the one who is in denial. I'm far from a stupid man, my friend.

GET THAT?!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntIf she is SUCH a denial then maybe you need to let that one go. You can't FORCE her to feel whatever YOU think she should feel.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (7 August 2013):

person12345 agony auntI am just going to post this again:

"If a woman rejects you, she is not in denial of her feelings.

She is denial of your advances."

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 August 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntok but what is she in denial about...

if she's in denial that she's got cancer and is dying, then there is not much you can do till she is ready to cope

if she is in denial that she's pregnant this too shall pass

if however, she is in denial about how she feels about you, then you have to accept her denial and move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013):

Hi there. I disagree to some post here.

I am a woman. But every woman does have different opinion.

But I think I am one of the best person to answer your question.

Why? because lets just say that I an expert when it comes to rejecting men I like.

I know its bullshit but that's me. So maybe the woman you like is just like me.

There are 3 types of women:

1. Easy to get

you know what i mean

2. Playing hard to get

3. A Real Hard to get

How to tell the difference, you know. I don't have to explain one by one. but let me discuss the last type of women. A Real hard to Get.

I think the girl you like falls to the last type.

the reason behind?

maybe because of a bad relationship experience in the past.

or maybe she saw something in you or you did something to her that makes her think twice and say NO to you.

It could be as simple as, you were not able to keep your promise.or simple things that she takes seriously but you don't. But remember when a woman says No to you its doesn't mean she wants to stop to be your friend. Sometimes Its just NOT NOW. Not at this time.

It seems like you really like her. She must be really something special.

All is fair in Love and war. what would you lose? your a man.

Just don't appear like a stalker. Just keep things friendly and fun for her. I mean make her laugh when you talk to her, ENJOY each other's company.

That's the key. Who knows one day? she'll be yours.

Good Luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2013):

If a female rejects you, she is not in denial of her feelings.

She is denial of your advances.

If she wants to breakup with you, she can still love you; but she doesn't want to be with you. There is no denial about that.

If you are withholding the details for your own benefit; you are in denial of getting a decent answer.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (7 August 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntMore details

She started reciprocating sex(opening up) and giving ie I made dinner she did dishes

We clicked in nearly every way. Great chemistry.

She said I was a great person n had great heart n strong in mind and soul

Also said I was perfect in every way

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (7 August 2013):

Ciar agony auntVery little information to go on here.

I'm guessing this female in question is a woman you want who doesn't want you, yet you've decided she does and just needs your guidance to realise that.

The woman is not in denial. She knows what she wants and that is to be left alone.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2013):

R1 agony auntDepends what feelings she is denying. Women are complicated and not as black and white as men. It might take a lot more to get her to open up.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (7 August 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntTheres too many details. Its a mess.but im very convinced as well as others that she is in denial.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (7 August 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntMore details please.

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