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5 years together and planning to move to another state, but we're having problems. Should I go?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *amapoo55 writes:

I've been together with my boyfriend for 5 years, not engaged, ugh, but I do love him very much. We lived together once around the 3 year mark and broke up because he wanted to spend every waking moment with me. I mean, I love him, but I needed space. We we're broken up for 1 month, then got back together. He changed, like he became a man or something, a little the same but different. We've finally moved back in together and been in the apartment for about 6 months now. Now things are getting on my nerves. We both have full time jobs and our sleep schedules are completely opposite. He won't clean up after himself and when I ask him to do something, politely of course, he huffs and puffs and usually doesn't do it. So I'm left with the housework. Lately it seems like all he cares about is himself. He is uninterested in what happened in my day, but has no problem talking for hours about his. He was sick for a few days and is completely obsessed with it. I care if he's sick, but there's only a so many times you can tell someone about what's wrong with you before it gets annoying. We're moving to Dayton in June and I need to know if I should go. Hopefully things change, but I need an outsiders opinion. Please help!

View related questions: broke up, engaged, got back together

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A female reader, InLoveW/Love United States +, writes (31 December 2010):

Living with a man ain't easy. Living with others period is a struggle. I personally think you guys' issues are small. Is he faithful? Does he pay the bills on time? Does he treat you good and take you out? Is he abusive? If you love him, then work through the issues. Make a chores chart and stick too it. (But there's always someone who's gonna be neater and do more of the cleaning). Don't listen if he starts to talk about his day for too long. Tell him to shut up and listen to u for a change lol.

But most importantly, you MUST communicate your issues with him if you decide to go. Besides its January. You have 5 months to make a decision.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (31 December 2010):

chigirl agony auntIf you aren't sure about this then don't go. Basically that's it. I can't tell you things are going to be ok, I can't tell you this is normal and you just need to get used to it, and I can't tell you you should leave him either based on this information. You must do what you feel best for you in the end. But I will say this... when unsure, don't do it. Because that uncertainty comes from somewhere in you, and it might be time for you to listen to your inner voice and listen to what you actually want. Don't do things just because. Do them if it's actually what you want and what YOU feel best about. What would you regret more? Going, or not going?

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