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35 years late he insinuates himself into facebook conversations with emotional references to the past!

Tagged as: Family, Friends, The ex-factor, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 March 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 March 2012)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

my first boyfriend went away to college said we should date and sleep with others while he was away said we should start doing this before he left he did not take me to his prom I found out later that he even slept with my best friend he came back 6 months later after not calling me or writing said he had made a mistake and wanted to go back to the way things were i said forget it and moved on I thought about him once in while we had alot of fun together and were very much in love when we first met before he told me he wanted to go away to school etc. fast track 35 years later he finds me on facebook says hes been married 25 years said he was sorry for all the pain he put me through I have been married 23 years to a great guy we are very happy he tells me he closure and apologizes he says the rest of a facebook relationship would be up to me formonths he gets no reesponse he interferes with my conversations with others tell me how great i look etc he reminds me of the love songs we used to listen to etc I get uncomfortabe and defriend him do you think all he wanted was facebook friends or have an emotional affair he still looks at my wall and occasionally comments tells we we could have been so happy my question is how happy is he in his marriage and do you think all he wanted from me was to be facebook friends i have also though we couldve bbeen happy together if thing s wouldve stayed the way were in the beginning but after him I had plenty of fun with others that wanted to have fun with me

View related questions: affair, best friend, facebook

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntUn-friend him and block him. He sounds like he is unhappy and is trying to grab some of your happiness.

He sounds a little pathetic honestly and not capable of being a "real" or "facebook" friend to you.

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A female reader, Blonde68 United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2012):

Blonde68 agony aunt

In my opinion he could be looking for some excitement in his life. Married life has probably become rather dull etc and you came to mind so he searched you on FB.

He is probably testing the water with you by coming out with silly comments like "we could have been so happy"! Why do I say this? Because I have been through something similar and I nipped it in the bud.

In saying that, I may be wrong - However, if he persists with the reminiscing I would just put him straight and drop it in that marriage life is bliss!

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (24 March 2012):

PeanutButter agony auntSome people really like to think about "what if" and mull ocer the past and what they could have.

The fact is, the grass is ALWAYS greener and it used to be that we could grieve and get on with life - but places like facebook make it very easy to revisit old loves or groups or ideals and they can really make you want to explore those what if's even more and speak freely with people we should have been open with a long time ago.

I do not think it would be wise to keep this man on your facebook. You have said hi and allowed him a look into your life and now he knows you're alright, he has to move on and stop procrastinating over the past.

I don't think its weird, but it is definitely less than desirable!

Good luck!

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (24 March 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntNext time he mentions how happy you and could have been remind him how lucky and fortunate you are to have had the life you have, without him in it. And then I would block him completely, he sounds weird.

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