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21 year old dating a 15 year old?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2009) 14 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2009)
A male United States, anonymous writes:

So I recently have been attracted to a younger gal. The thing is shes 15, and I'm 21.

I've been to dinner with her family many times, and they like me a lot. They invite me to a lot of occasions, dinner and drinks every week or so.

But I'm afraid of what others, and my family would think if I started to date her.

I know she's 15 and here in the States its frowned upon whenever you date someone who's underage (age being 18)...

SO I guess my question to you all is... What do you think of a 21 year old male dating a 15 year old female... Granted I'm not looking for sex... just a meaningful relationship, and she seems mature enough to be able to do so.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009):

When I was 15 I dating a 20 year old but it didn't last that long. I was very mature for my age but because of our age differences we had a different mentality.Why cant you find a girl your age? You guys can't go clubbing. She's not legal to do much. Also Sex will come up and the risks are there. If you want a meaningful relationship, just be friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009):

Well i would have to say that i think it is okay. I am 15 my self and am in love with a 21 year old. we have been together almost a year now. and i think it is perfectly fine. thing being my parents do not approve so they do everything they can to get him to leave me alone. i hate it! but i believe it is fine.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009):

As has been said.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with dating her.

But sex WILL come up and when it does you have to be prepared to back off, even if she is coming on like a drunken Prom date.

As has also been said, in most civilised countries a person can have sex at 16 onwards because most people are smart enough to be able to know if they want to have a penis in their vagina by that age.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009):

I don't see any problem with it, 'cause I'm in the same situation, but we're going out. My family doesn't know, since they're rather strict, but I say go for it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2009):

Personally I dont see any problem with it, when I was 15 I was seeing a 20 year old, and there was so sex until I was legal (16) my parents were cool with it, his parents were cool with it and it was truely the best relationship I ever had. Unfortunately it did end though, but that was only because he moved away to uni and we thought it was for the best, so yeah I say go for it, enjoy it, and make the most of every minute you spend together :)

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A female reader, katieS United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2009):

No way. Just stay friends and if you cant do that then stay away entirely. She may seem mature..but she is only 15! If you start a relationship sex will come into it at some point and you will end up in a heap of trouble! If her parents had any sense they wouldn't allow it anyway. It's not right, sorry.

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A male reader, Leonardo Indonesia +, writes (1 February 2009):

In most countries in the world a 21 year old guy dating a 15 year old girl would be be considered absolutely normal - almost encouraged. The problem is you American society has a serious problem with this idea but no one can give you a good reason why they think this is so wrong.

Don't feel guilty, it is entirely natural for an older man to enjoy the company of a young girl who has not been polluted with all the "boy crazy" antics that are typical of girls a few years older. Just don't get intimate with her or you'll go to jail.

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2009):

just don't have sex with her untill she is at the age of consent!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009):

15 is still a long way away from 18. Don't tempt yourself, stay away. If she was 17 I'd say go for it, but 15 is too young. I know its only 2 years, but those years matter.

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A female reader, YuukiBear United States +, writes (1 February 2009):

YuukiBear agony auntWell I am in a situation like that in a way. I am 15 and the boy is 18. It isn't about sex so I would say that it is alright. All you have to do is be careful. If anyone were to get mad at you they could say they saw you and her doing things you two shouldn't be doing (Even if you two aren't doing stuff like that) so you just have to keep the relationship on the DOWN low and you should be fine. Also, sit down and talk to her parents about it, gain there trust when it comes to you being with her.

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A female reader, Firefighter's Wife 09 United States +, writes (1 February 2009):

Just think about this... Her parents and family like you now. What happens when something happens and her daddy isn't happy about it? It just takes one phone call to have you put away for a long time whether you did anything or not! Just be careful!

Yes a 15 year old can be mature but don't you want someone that you can be with and not have to take care of? I was 15 once and I was extremely mature for my age after everything that I had been through. She could be your best friend but it really isn't worth the risk of 3 squares and a cot is it?

Take it slow just hang out and when she is 18 and you are still into her go for it! Just watch out for you!

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A male reader, The old Man? United States +, writes (1 February 2009):

The old Man? agony auntDoes the term 15 will get you 20 mean anything to you?

No no no... 15 is entirely too young for you to be dating!

Friends yes,dating NO!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009):

No! You'll catch a case!

Just think.. What can a 15 year old girl do for me?

Think really hard about this one..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009):

Just go for it. But don't break the law.

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