A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedWomanxx
writes:I don't know how to start this but here goes..I've been with my partner just over a year and a half. I had just turned 19 and he was 22 nearly 23. At the beginning everything was perfect.We spent a lot of time together and did everything together. But now all we do is argue, make up then it's all good again then something happens and we're back to square one. He's always on at me to get a good job so we can move in together and stuff. But then he always wants to stay at his now and chill on his own or see his best mate. He doesn't make an effort. It feels like he doesn't care. I know we should have separate lives but we don't do anything together as a couple. He always says I have to start making an effort and not get angry or start arguments.But the only reason I do is because I know he's changed around me. And tonight he has admitted he's blamed me for a lot and it's his fault and he's gonna start making an effort. Also he said his feelings have changed towards me but then says I love you so much and don't want to break up with me. We had a little break 2 months ago. I suggested we do that again but he said no we shouldn't. I just don't know what to do.All I want is him to show me respect, love and to make me happy. I love him so much but I feel like a mug at times. We have great sex and when we are good we're great but then it turns sour somehow. I just don't know what to do anymore. There's so much more to say but it's so long.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 September 2014):
 If your relationship needs "breaks" it's not working. I think breaks is a CLEAR indicator that the relationship is running on fumes.
Maybe what you need to do is focus on YOUR life a bit, your FUTURE and YOUR dreams. Go for what you want in life (and I don't mean a BF and kids) both you MUST have other life goals.
Your relationship seems very much like he is done, but letting you hang on for the great sex. And you give the sex in hopes that it will make him love and respect you. Not going to happen, I'm sorry.
A
female
reader, Plumb +, writes (1 September 2014):
 It seems like the honeymoon phase is over and now its time to move on. And please dont move in with him when youve only been dating for 18 months, it will only add more stress to the relationship. Now if you dont want to break up and make it work then thats a two person issue because if hes not willing to change the ways he treats you then youll be better off leaving him and finding someone new.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2014): I sounds as if you have hit the buffers. The relationship does not work and no matter how much you try it will probably always come back to the same thing. You are too young to settle for someone who can not make you happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2014): Stop taking breaks and break-up. Your relationship has runs it's course. Once that happens, all you can do is find fault with one or the other. Time to move on, and leave each other alone.
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