New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Is wanting a relationship normal, even if you don't even know what it's like to be loved?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Family, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 May 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi guys!

So I haven't been on this site in years but I find myself needing advice again.

My birthday is in a couple of days and im just feeling so lonely, just another year passing without any change.

I've never been in love or had a boyfriend or done anything sexual with any guy, not even make out. I feel alone all of the time and just behind everyone else.

I feel like literally everyone out there has experienced love or a relationship of some kind except me.

Is something wrong? I don't know how to shake this feeling of wanting to grow up and fall in love and have 10 kids. Is wanting a relationship normal if you don't even know what it's like to be loved?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, ArtisticBiscuit United Kingdom +, writes (28 May 2016):

ArtisticBiscuit agony auntHi there.

First off you are not alone in how you are feeling. It's part of growing up. There are so many people out there just like you, not having experienced anything sexual and so on...

Your time will come. You have to go out there and experience the world. You wont change your life by doing the same things day in, day out.

Join a club, talk to more people. Be brave. If you want a relationship so badly, go out there are look for one. Waiting and wishing wont help. You have to involve yourself in social events to meet someone who could become a potential boyfriend.

Focus on your birthday and other events. Romance can wait. Yes it feels as if it's the only way to make you happy right now. But, it's not.

Enjoy family, friends, your time for boyfriends will come one day.

Remember that life is your journey, you shouldn't define it by what everyone else is doing.

Be the best YOU , you can be.

-ArtisticBiscuit

Good luck, keep smiling and happy birthday.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (22 May 2016):

Welcome back. I’m glad you have chosen Dear Cupid for advice again.

Yes, perfectly normal. Just because you don’t have relationship experience, it doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about what it’s like. You see your friends’ relationships blossoming, how happy they are and how much companionship they find in a fulfilling relationship. You want the same thing. I don’t think we’re built to be alone. In fact, when you have never had a relationship you can find yourself wanting it even more than those who have got experience, whether they are currently single or not. That’s because you idealise it and don’t see all the downsides: the need to compromise, the arguments, the misunderstandings, the need to put some-one else first and, quite simply, the effort it takes to keep passion and romance alive. It isn’t all hearts and flowers, but it sure can look that way! Everyone presents their best to the world.

You already are anxious enough. Don’t add to that by worrying about whether you are right to be worrying about this and wanting the right things. There is no magic fix for the fact that you want something you haven’t got at the moment, but there is plenty you can do not to feel alone. Spend as much time with friends as possible, and perhaps look for a singles group if you’ll otherwise be spending the whole time with happy couples. Consider whether online dating might just be the thing for you: it’s great for those who are shy, lacking in confidence or simply don’t know where on earth to begin. Everything can be taken slowly. Also consider volunteering and joining groups in your community centred on an interest of yours.

Unfortunately we can’t always choose are relationship status. We can choose to try not to be consumed by our unhappiness about it. You are normal. You are okay. You are right for some-one. Go and play your part in the world, learn to see your value, find new people and keep an open mind. Even those in happy relationships will tell you that you can’t rely on a partner to feel complete. We have to find our own happiness. And take it from a 26 year-old who, relationship-wise, is in pretty much the same boat as you: you can do that.

I wish you all the very best.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question " Is wanting a relationship normal, even if you don't even know what it's like to be loved?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312543000000005!