A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi my problem is that I'm torn between two guys and I don't know what to do, it's getting so messy. One is my ex (we broke up a year ago) and another is a guy from the same place as us. We are all living in the same small town and they know each other well: they play soccer together but they aren't good friends. Okay so I was totally in love with my ex after we broke up and I think he felt the same but was unable to tell me how he felt. Since then we've both been with other people but nothing serious at all, now I have started kinda seeing this guy who is so sweet, gorgeous but very shy, my ex who has been in regular contact throughout the year seems to be taking it badly that I'm with him now even though we aren't official or anything yet.He is texting me all the time now and seems to be making a real effort to win me back but can't seem to just say "I want you back". I've continued to text him back and I'm completely torn about my feelings.. I really loved my ex and for so long all I wanted was for us to be back together and my new guy is so shy with me I just don't know if it's going anywhere. Some of my friends think I should just forget my ex and move on, they say he's playing with me but I dunno.. I dont wanna make a fool out of myself, please help thanks!
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broke up, move on, my ex, shy, text Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone! I think I may do what bigsister is suggesting and see how it goes but its hard because i dont wanna make a big mistake. Anyway maybe more developments after the weekend!
A
female
reader, Annalisa +, writes (31 March 2008):
 Think about the reasons why you broke up with your ex. Is it something you two can talk about and overcome?
If you still love him enough to want him back, you should not be with another guy, yet, because it's just not fair on the new lad.
If you think your ex has problems saying things, take the first step and ask him whether he misses you, if he wants you back and talk things through. Tell him your needs and encourage him to tell you his.
If it looks like there is still love on both sides, try to build on that!
Let the other guy go until you are ready to move on from your ex.
God bless you and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (31 March 2008):
 I think your friends may be right about your ex playing you and I would question his motives. He seems to just be motivated by the fact you are with someone else which doesn't necessarily mean that he actually wants to be with you. Nothing says that you can't continue to get to know this new guy and still talk to your ex to find out where he's coming from. When you do talk to your ex, I would leave the new guy out of the discussion and see if he's really interested in you as a person. If the new guy is shy, just get to know him slowly and do be in such a rush to commit to either of them right away- you are just dating, not in any serious relationship yet, right? Take your time and you won't make a fool out of yourself. Be friends with both and you'll see which one steps up to the plate.
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A
female
reader, meggiej +, writes (31 March 2008):
 get a piece of paper, do a table with 4 columns in. two about the good + the bad about one of the guys + th other two about the good and the bad about th other guy. To add them up put one of thier named down, add up all of th good things about that guy plus th bad things about the other guy. Then the same with th other guy. The guy with th hightest number is the best, + u should go out with him
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