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I'm struggling to lose weight, I have no job, no friends, no talents, my partner keeps pulling me down and I feel trapped

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 July 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 July 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm feeling really down in the dumps at the moment. For a while now i just keep getting upset. I'm unhappy that I'm struggling to lose weight, i have no job, no friends, no talents, i really do hate myself. Of course i know there are alot of people out there who have much bigger problems than mine and i should be grateful that I'm young and healthy, but i always get knocked back, i apply for endless of jobs and i never have any luck, i go on diets but because I'm miserable i ruin it everytime by comfort eating (I only need to shift 2 stone) but i cant even do that. I have no talent, everyone i know has a talent but i cant think of one thing that I'm good at,and i get upset about it. Some days i just want to lay in bed and not get up. I do have a child and a boyfriend. My child is the only thing that keeps me going, sometimes i feel like giving up on everything but then i think of my son, hes the only thing in happy about. I'm in a rocky relationship with my sons dad, we always argue and its now been four years and we have tried everything to make it work but deep down it isn't working. I cant leave him due to bot having no where to go, no money, no job, so I'm afraid to leave him. I do feel very trapped at times, no one to talk to as i don't have any friends left as my partner don't like them so now i have lost touch. My partner puts me down alot, he says that im useless and he reminds me everyday that he has brought everything around me and that he pays all the bills. I get upset because if i had a job, i would help with the bills. He says to me "the clothes on your back are from me". He don't care about me and treats me a bit like a prostitute. I want to get away from it all but im trapped. I'm just looking for advice and to hear peoples opinions.

View related questions: lose weight, money, prostitute, puts me down, trapped

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2014):

I would strongly urge you to go and speak to your GP (even if you've done this before), and tell them what you have written here. You sound terrible depressed, and that can't possible be doing you good. Your GP may be able to get in touch with someone who can help re housing, and perhaps also benefits if you have no money and no job.

Also, do you have any family of sorts that can just offer some sort of support to you?

With regards to jobs, I know how it feels. A few years ago I couldn't get a shred of luck and only on/off employment with temp jobs - maybe something you need to look into or continue with if you already have. Keep going with it, you'll get there. Also take a good look at your CV and maybe get some help re-writing it so it's up to date. Sometimes the way a CV is written can make all the difference. Also, don't be afraid to look further afield. I had to move 80 miles away to get a job in the end, but it was worth it.

With regards to talent, no one really has a 'talent'. Most people have something they're interested in, and they work at it again and again until they become talented. So I think this is something that you can work on when you find out more about yourself.

You will be all right. You're being proactive, and that is good. But I think you need some help to fight your very low mood. Once you start to make a difference in your mood, you'll feel stronger and you'll be able to move forward with your life. Get some help re housing and benefits, and don't be afraid to move a little further away if you need to.

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A male reader, killer bee United States +, writes (13 July 2014):

killer bee agony auntleave the prick, from what you said you are strong enough to be without him. he is holding you back.

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