A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am 29 years old and have never been in any kind of relationship with a woman. I have very bad premature ejaculation and feel I can never have a successful relationship with someone because of it. You might say how do I know I have that problem if I've never had sex. If it takes less than a minute of stimulation for me to reach the edge that's extremely abnormal. It would be even worse with a woman. I spend so much time every day thinking about it and reading forums and such and that's just making me feel worse and worse. To me there doesn't seem to any realistic solution to this problem. All the tips for training yourself to last longer don't seem to have any affect for me. I'm so scared that anyone I may end up with will have at least slept with a few guys and likely they would have had no problem at all having sex and satisfying her. I don't want to be humiliated and lose someone I actually care about. I know that oral and other kinds of stimulation can play a big part in making love, but without the actual act of intercourse I fear she would get frustrated and end up sleeping with a normal guy. So many forums I've read have stories of guys having intercourse with their girlfriends or wives for extended periods of time. These are told by the women too so I can't imagine they would have any reason to make it up. And usually it's said that every guy they have been with had no problem so that has to be how it works for a normal guy right? Also lots of stories of women who, even though they loved their significant other very much, cheated on them because she couldn't get what she needed from him. I don't think I could blame them. I wouldn't want someone I cared for to be frustrated and depressed because I couldn't give her what she needs. If you're still reading this I'm sorry I'm rambling on, but I can't stop thinking about this. I'm so old to have never had any kind of intimacy with someone and I'm scared I don't have anything to look forward to in my life. Having this problem makes me so disgusted with myself. I just want to know I can have a normal relationship with someone that loves me but it doesn't look like that's possible for me. I don't like to think that drugs are the only thing that could possibly give me a chance at a normal sex life. That's just too sad to think about. Anyone been in a position like this and had it turn out all right? Any realistic advice at all. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Be as honest as possible please. Thanks for reading all this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2015): as a 27 year old guy I can relate to this
A
female
reader, 057  +, writes (27 June 2012):
I had a boyfriend with this problem. I was shocked at first because hed ejaculate 3 times in 20 minutes. Honestly, it did cause problems sometimes. Sometimes I really just wanted to have fast careless sex, but instead I was always having to worry about stopping or going slow or pulling out because we'd have to be so mindful of him. I felt like our sex was all about him, and not about what I wanted or needed! We became awkward about it. We tried loads of different things.
In the end we just decided to keep the lines of communication wide open. I told him what I wanted & he told me what he needed. If he couldnt continue he just did other stuff to me while he cooled down. Sometimes I gave him a handjob before we had sex.
To be honest, it took ages but something happened & he stopped worrying. He didnt panic, he didnt stress himself about it or obsess about it, somehow in his mind he learned to let go (maybe because hed give me an orgasm before we had sex, so a bit of the pressure was off) but as soon as the stress was gone he could last a lot longer.
Wed still start & stop all the time but he got alot better. We also started doing "Karezza" which is this spiritual style sex where you dont orgasm at all. It sounds really odd, but its been amazing for us so far.
I spose at the end of the day you just need a woman that loves you & understand you first before you worry about this stuff. Cuz once you find that she'll stick by you & help you out just like I did with my boyfriend. Open & honest, my friend. If she cant handle having an open understanding conversation about this subject, then shes probably not going to be open & understanding about much else either. People arent always that shallow, youll work it out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): My husband had this problem. He tried several treatments: hypnosis, inhalation spray, we had marriage guidance counselling, etc. The only thing that worked for him was taking an SSRI. This is an antidepressant that at small doses, reduces PE. Please go and discuss this with your doctor. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): There are numbing creams/lubricants and other similar products available for purchase from the drug store. These items can be used by a man to prolong an erection and prevent premature ejaculation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): It seems as you are narrating the problem I had. I lost my virginity at the age of 28. I turned 32 this year.Early ejuculation was a serious problem, I tried professional help and different tips but it never worked. I lost three girlfriends because of this problem. To be brutality honest, women want the really act not kissing and holding hands only, they want quality sex.
I kept on moving until I met my current girlfriend on the 7th of March last year. With my current girlfriend we are enjoying great or quality sex I would say. We are now planning to get married pretty soon, she makes me a great man, and she is also enjoying quality bedroom services.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): relax, calm down. You're working yourself into this downward spiral of anxiety, low self esteem and self-fulfilling prophecy.you assume that you will not be able to keep a woman's interest, and this fear holds you back from even trying. then, because you've never had a relationship, it reinforces your fear that you can't have one.try to stop focusing so much on this issue. Relationships are about more than just sexual intercourse! allow yourself to date and get to know women, as friends and see if romance develops. you haven't done that yet, so it's way too soon to be jumping to any conclusions that such a woman is going to be uninterested or leave you. YOu're putting the cart before the horse.if and when you get to the point of sleeping with a woman you care about, you can masturbate a few hours ahead of time, that will make you last longer.
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