A
female
age
41-50,
*lba5
writes:I have been seeing a guy for over 2 and half years and when I say seeing thats a big joke. He basically comes around just for sex. I have told him and told him that this is not what I want and I want to be respected and spend time with him socially, this never happens and so I tell him I don't want to see him anymore and after 3 weeks he will call me and tell me he wants me and that he will change and sweeten me up so that he can come round again. This is a perpetual cycle and I have lost all esteem for myself. He gets jealous and always asks me if I have another man but I am only faithfull to him and have told him this endless times. I don't know where he lives or anything about him and what he does tell I think it's all lies. This morning he came round early because he thought I was with another man and he tried to have sex with me, when I refused he got very aggitated and tried to force himself on me. I kicked him out after giving him a slap across the face and he just said "Call me" as he left.How can I get rid of this guy? He knows I am weak and knows I have feelings for him.
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (28 August 2011):
 you don't talk about him like as if you have got 'feelings for him' - you haven't said one nice, positive thing about him so what is it you actually like about him?? - be honest - you are just using him because you are bored and lonely aren't you?
you need to address that or else you are never gonna be happy. you might get rid of him but another similar one will soon take his place. get your self esteem back by making a good life for yourself with friends and family who really care about you. can you be comfortable without a relationship? coz you don't have very much of one right now! - ask yourself what will you actually lose if you cut him loose? he does not even take you out anywhere. you KNOW what he is in this for. it is good that you are not fooled by him - that means you are half way there to getting over him.
the other bit is the easiest bit. tell him its over. you have given it your best shot but he has not had the care or respect to give you a relationship. all you have to do is not answer your door to him and either ignore his calls and messages or do what i did and change your phone number. if you've got him on facebook, block him.
set yourself FREE to maybe meet someone good in the future coz while you are stuck with him that can never happen. he will be annoyed to lose his booty call buddy (you) but don't feel bad, he will soon get over it as soon as he finds another bed to hop into
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): Oh my, the man tried to rape you. Get rid of him fast.
Also if you dont know where he lives he could be hiding the fact that he could have a wife and kids.
Dont answer your door to him. Dont answer his calls and if he doesnt take the hint it will be necessary to contact the police, and tell them that you are being harassed by and ex who wont take the message.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): Change your phone number and other contact information, move if you can. Tell him not to contact you in any way anymore and that you're done with him for good and you will get a restraining order if he does. I don't think you really have feelings for him and this is a crazy situation you've willingly entered into. Stay by yourself and just hang around with friends until you figure out why you did this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): you must start believing you can leave this guy. Try dating someone else. If u don.t feel confident enough to go out and meet someone,do internet dating. Even chatting with a new guy online will raise your self esteem. Make a vow to yourself that you will leave him. Set a date,and know that on that day,it,s over for good,and a new and happy chapter is starting in your life. You,ll look back at this episode one day,and be thankful you left. I wish u all the luck and strength you need to get through this. Nx
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (27 August 2011):
 What feelings could you honestly have for him? You don't have a relationship, he is simply using you for relief. It's a nightmare. Start putting him off! Don't answer the phone, dont let him in. If he gets nasty then call the Police. This man is with you for relief and because he senses you are in a vulnerable time in your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): He's going to be hard to get rid of after 2 and a half years. Think its time to get tough, no more fun for him.
Say no and mean no,even when your tempted.. Tell him your dating or get a male friend or relative to have a word with him, by phone if its easier
Call the police if you feel threatened and vulnerable, you cannot put yourself at risk in your own home or anywhere else for that matter
Plenty of decent men out there for you
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 You must end this nightmare. Do not answer the door if him. Do you not have Caller ID on your telephone? If so, use it and do not answer. Refuse any additional activity. Notify local police of safety concerns. Have a "restraining order" issued if necessary. Tell him, if anything at all, that you now have another man (even if you do not). Just end it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): You get rid of this guy by not giving him what he is coming around for!
Simple, ha?
Also move if you can, change your number, start dating others and find love elsewhere!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): You don't want someone who clearly doesn't have the same feelings for you, he's just using you . I'm the same as you though I'd give in too! So its tough . Just be stong and tell him you don't want to "see" him anymore and make sure he knows you mean it. Once you tell him make sure that's the last time you talk to him . Just ignore his calls if he leaves msgs, delete before listening . Ignore him if he comes to the door. And with time depending on how long it takes him to get the hint he will be gone :) for good! And you can find someone who will make a commitment and someone who deserves you :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): You have yourself a nasty piece of work there and very dangerous at that!
What happens next time when he responds to the slap in a not to calm manner?
Get rid of him now before its too late, don't be a victim of his. Change your number, if he knocks at your door have a chain on it so he can't get in. Change your routine.
Trying to force himself on your surely isn't legal, it can't be! I suggest you report this attempted rape to the police. That should give him the message!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): Just don't let him in. I know this can be hard but you are worth more than this and clearly you want more. Don't call, if he calls you say you are not interested ... there are great guys out there who will treat you with respect ... don't listen to what he says he has already proven that he wont stick by it .. say no... you should feel happy most if not all of the time. Say no .. Do it consistently and he will leave you alone. Your worth it and happiness is out there - not with this one though.
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