A
female
age
30-35,
*aper_Jean_Girl_
writes:i just recently been dumped by my bf of two months (we were fwb for 6 months prior to him asking me out) he said that he felt that we would just be better off as friends, and that he doesnt feel like nothing had changed between us when he asked me out, and felt that i deserved better.he broke up with me a week ago, and for the last three days has been texting me daily, and asked me to come over to his house to hang out. he says that he still wants us to be friends but last night we ended up getting intimate.he suffers from depression,so i dont know if he was just at a very low point when he broke up with me.im confused, does he still have feelings for me? or does he just want the best of both worlds.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 November 2011):
 He's not confused he's USING.
honey you slept with him, you are "an easy lay" as the boys used to say... you are a sure thing for him... no dinner, no movies, no flowers, no romance... he's got an itch and your his scratching post...
Personally I would tell him, "I'm sorry I can't hang out with you at least for now" and then I'd CUT ALL CONTACT and get on with life....
HE MAY escalate his texting and contact attempts but since you are NOT doing this to play games but rather protect yourself YOU Need to NOT respond to these attempts.
In fact, blocking his number, facebook, twitter etc... is probably in your best interest.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Hi,
I agree with the other posters. I think he's not ready to be in a committed relationship. Rather it's because of his depression, or other things going on in his life. So, it's up to you if you want to continue seeing him. If you are ok with the circumstances, if you will not get emotionally attached to him, then I guess it's ok to continue being FWB. But, if you want a real boyfriend, a real relationship, I think he's not the guy?
Good luck
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A
female
reader, ThirtyGirl +, writes (18 November 2011):
Take it from me, go "No Contact." It's the only way to heal. There's a great article on it, "The Anatomy Of A Break-Up: I Never Want To See You Again... Until I'm Lonely." Hope this helps!
http://www.mythirtysense.com/2011/11/06/the-anatomy-of-a-break-up-i-never-want-to-see-you-again…-until-i’m-lonely/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011): I think this guy is very confused but that in itself is not going to help you. He was right when he said you deserve better - that was him thinking clearly (albeit temporarily). Rather than focusing on what he might be thinking and what he might want and what he is doing... why don't you start focusing on yourself. What do YOU need in a man? How do YOU want to be treated? Once you start doing that you will put this into perspective and realise what his motivation is. The fact you have crosssed 'boundaries' yet been friends means that you cannot really just be friends in the traditional sense. Best to set some boundaries now for good. Otherwise how are you going to meet another guy?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2011): I agree with Sageoldguy.You need a gentleman.
Find somebody else, take control and cut all contact yourself.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (18 November 2011):
 HMMM.... I think he just likes having sex with you. and if you like the sex too go for it... other then that keep your eye open for a guy who wants more like an actual relationship. Ive used that tired ole you deserve better line a million times aahhh i see it still works cuse you went over to his house and let him hit. and there's nothing wrong with that just make sure you get yours too.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 November 2011):
 Taper Jean: He has NEVER "had feelings" for you!!!!Once a girl puts out for a guy (as you did, as FWB) then you are subject to that guy being a gentleman or not. The difference (between a gentleman and something else) is that "something else" leads with his penis. When he gets gratification for his penis, all social and interactive niceties are optional for him....Find a gentleman and you'll be much happier, I guarantee it!!!!Good luck....
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