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Cute guy at the gym alternates between staring at me and ignoring me. Why would he act like this?

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, *riaz writes:

I noticed this cute guy at the gym that I became attracted to. My wing man helped me break the ice with him, so we had interacted a few times and say hi to each other occasionally. He would stare at me occasionally. He works out with his friends, and I've noticed that his friends aren't as receptive towards me. I've received dirty looks from them many times.

He started being distant and avoiding me altogether, which sucked. I guess I made him a little uncomfortable, so i ignored him back. Now he's staring at me again from a distance. I caught him looking at me a few times, but pretended I didn't see it.

I'm a little confused now. Why does he ignore me and then stare at me again?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2016):

I agree with Honeypie.

He is playing games.

Whenever any guy plays these stupid games, then he is NOT into you.

Period.

A guy who is into you will make a move. He will not be hot and cold. He will be DIRECT. And waste no time at all. He will make it clear he IS INTERESTED. And you will never have to question him. You will KNOW. Yes, some guys play push-pull and it does work on some women. But why would you let a guy play you like that? Like a fiddle? You would have to feel of little value in that case.

Guys like this are just yanking your chain. Playing you. Who knows what his problem is? But he sure is not worth your effort in finding out.

My guess? He has a girlfriend. Just harmless fun in the gym. Or he does not want to lead you on or go there. So what if he finds you attractive? He may find a dozen other girls at the gym attractive. Maybe his friends are jealous and have steered him away from you. Are they women? That is my guess. Or maybe his girlfriend is in that group? Or her friends? Who knows?

Too much bull to figure out. You end up looking like the one at a loss. But you are not. Win the game. Ignore him totally. Like he does not exist. Cultivate other friendships and ignore this loser.

You can do better! Just keep working out and making yourself healthy and happy. Guys should not come into the picture when you are taking care of you during your ME time.

If I had a dime for every MEAT HEAD in the gym that acted like this sweetie, I'd be rich! I have had tons of experience in gyms over the years. So many of these egotists are a waste of time. They are just seeking the next ego boost. Beat him at his game and IGNORE HIM.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 September 2016):

Honeypie agony auntPush/pull "method"?

Makes you think he is interested an then ignore you to make YOU more interested. It's a lame tactic some guys use and unfortunately... it works on some women.

Or...

He actually has a GF so while it was fun to get attention from you, he had no intentions of anything more and his friends suggested you were looking for more, so he shut that down.

My guess? He is an ass. Move on.

He may be cute, but his behavior is NOT cute at all.

Stop wasting your time and just full on ignore him.

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