A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My sister is expecting her first child. Any resources on how to deal with an accept childlessness and the relentless onset of menopause?I had no fertility problems - just never met a guy who wanted to commit and I never had the guts to get pregnant "by accident".And please don't suggest adoption or fostering because I'm not eligible for either (yes I've checked) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2017): Ok I tried to post this before but it didn't go through,
as Andie said, VERY FEW PEOPLE are considered unsuitable for adoption. You would have to have a criminal record (and for a serious crime, not a minor infraction) to really be barred from adopting in most countries. So I have a feeling you didn't really look into that option too far. You can look into adopting older children (as in a toddler or slightly older than a baby) because the waiting time to get them is much faster than the wait-time for a baby. And you will still be raising them from when they have a memory; don't worry you will still bond very closely, I have experience :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 February 2017):
 I guess it must be difficult to see your sister pregnant and going through the different stages. I am sorry that it never happened for you, and it is hard for us to accept these things in life.
It doesn't take guts to fall pregnant by accident. You done the right thing not bringing a child in to the world that was not wanted by both parents. Yes off course it is upsetting for you but I think at this stage you may need to accept it for what it is.
You will soon become an auntie and am sure your sister would love your help and support. Therefore maybe you can help her out. If you are struggling to come to terms with this then it might be best to talk to a therapist.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (12 February 2017):
 For what it's worth, getting pregnant "accidentally" (on purpose or being reckless) is irresponsible, so it's good you didn't do that. You perhaps could have gone to a sperm bank or similar/cheaper, but being a single parent isn't easy or right for everyone.
You can have a full life without children, but you may need to seek therapy if it gets you down.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (12 February 2017):
I know you said you've checked, but few people are genuinely not suitable. Other than that, consider working/volunteering with children.
It may be difficult now, but you'll get to be the cool aunt and babysit, then hand them back when they have major tantrums.
As for menopause, just treat yourself occasionally and take care of yourself - most women go through it at various ages, so you will eventually come out the other end. See a doctor if you want medical suggestions.
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