A
female
age
26-29,
*nderdog
writes:2 weeks ago I left my job and a few of my colleagues were on about wanting to go on a night out with me for when I leave. One of the colleagues was on holiday the weekend I left so they said we could all go out this Saturday. One of them gave me their number and we've been texting back and forward every few days. She's only mentioned this night out once which was last week after we had a spontaneous night out the weekend that I left. She's not said anymore about it and I've not heard from her in a few days. I don't have any of the other colleagues numbers and only have a couple that we're coming on fb. My friend has just texted me asking if I want to come along to her house this Saturday as it was free and she's having a small get together with the whole group. I said yes not realising that I had essentially double booked myself!! I've known these guys for years (since high school) and I've only known my colleagues around 6-12 months and even though info like them and would like to have a night out with them I'm not all that close with them (just the one who gave me her number). I would like to build and continue a friendship with them thoughMy problem is do I go out with my colleagues or go to my friends house party? My colleagues did ask me first after all. Do I mention the night out to my colleague or just wait to see if she mentions it again and decide on the day? I don't want to not mention it and them just assuming I don't want to go and go out without me but at the same time I don't want to disappoint my good friend!I should also maybe add that I did ask this colleague that I have their number of if they wanted it get together some day this week which she seemed very up for. I told her to let me know a day/time she was free and we can arrange something which she is yet to do. I get she may be busy with work and what not but I'm kind of getting the feeling she's doesn't really want to see or speak to me outside of the texting world- she is normally first to text I don't want to upset either party so I don't really know what to do !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2014): Could you do both?
Find out if the plans with your colleagues are still on You might find that nothing's been organised anyway but if it has, you could join them for an early drink or two and then go on to the house party.
If it's just one colleague who's up for a night out - would your other friend mind her being invited along to a house-party instead? (ask permission of course)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 August 2014):
 I think you can be upfront about what happened- tell that you have accidentaly double booked yourself, so , since she hasn't confirmed anything yet, plus she said some other day during the week will be fine, if possible you'd opt for this last solution ( meetong colleagues during the week ).
So, unless she confirms NOW that plans have been already arranged, ...you'll take a rain check and will be happy to meet up some other time.
It is true that your colleague did ask you first, and you said yes- but it is also true that today is Friday and she did not have the courtesy to confirm (or cancel ) something that was supposed to happen tomorrow !, so , what are you supposed to do, twirling your thumbs waiting for your colleagues ' convocation ?! ( no need to stress that, but it's implied ... )
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (15 August 2014):
 Contact the ex colleague and say as you haven't had confirmation of weekend plans you have made new ones.
Add that your happy to meet another time when everyones free.
However, if she says that the plans are made and everyones going, then go along.It's hard to get a group of people together there is always some that have other commitments - so I doubt you 'will' be meeting up this weekend or you would have heard by now.
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