A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my guy best friend has been friends for years. He confessed his feelings to me, he was in love with me too much. He would never leave a day without talking to me. I love him as my best friend. And i can't imagine myself not having him beside me. But it hurts me too much that he's just hurt from the fact that i rejected him many times, and he still has his hopes high thinking i would change my mind. But i told him that its my final decision that i only see him as my best friend. The last couple of weeks has been harsh for both of us, we have been trying to finish our friendship, but it's too hard. All the time we had together, it feels that something is missing when we don't talk to each others. We end up texting and talk normally, but the same thing happens every once in a while, until i woke up to a text from him saying that he can't deal with this anymore, and that he doesn't want me to reply to his messages and leave him alone. So i did, and i blocked him everywhere. I feel so hurt, and I've been spending my whole day crying, because he is my only friend that i have, and the one who knows the real me and everything about me. It hurts like hell that i lost him. And it hurts me even more to know that he must be in more pain since he just loves me too much. i respect his decision, and i really want him to get over me, but i just can't believe that i lost him forever. It's been days since we hadn't talked or seen each others, we are just completely starngers now. How can i get over the Loss? Im trying to distract myself doing other things , but i end up crying myself to sleep. Im just completely hurt.
View related questions:
best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2018): He's doing the right thing for himself. Parting is still fresh; so you are going to need grieving-time, and to start the process of detachment. Being your age, there will be plenty of distractions. School, work, pursuing your own interests; and it's time you start making some new friends.
You have both been isolated in your exclusive one-on-one friendship. You're maturing and the only people you really know are each other. So it's very common in these situations that one of you would become infatuated. Mainly because you've never separated to allow yourselves to date, and make any new friends. You're basically co-dependent.
It's like you've lost a twin or an appendage. He's developing into manhood; so his affections had to land somewhere. You were the closest female he knows; and it's easier than breaking the ice and trying to develop a relationship with a stranger from scratch.
Time heals. The separation is actually healthy for the both of you. Respect his decision. Try not to violate the no contact rule. You need to start dating; and getting to into practice with making friends, finding romantic partners, and forming relationships. It's part of maturing; and developing into womanhood.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 June 2018):
 I know this sucks. But in reality it's the best thing you both can do. Cutting contact 100%.
Because you won't (and shouldn't) change your mind about how you feel and neither will he (for now, but in time he will).
Best advice I can give you is, if you want a BFF find a female.
Sometimes these thing happen, people develop feelings. Some times it's one-sided, sometimes not.
Chin up, keep the no contact and time will heal you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (28 June 2018):
 At this point, you're like family, albeit his is also romantic interest. Losing a family member is really hard. Routine changes, feelings are hurt and things are raw. People get through it, though.
You need to find new friends. One of the reasons he fell for you was because you invested everything into him, with no other friends.
Chances are you'll speak again, but it won't help. If you do end up speaking again, it's can't be constant or daily. Leave gaps of a few days and only text a couple of times before the gaps.
Grieve. Accept. Make new friends or at least go to new hobby clubs, so you have other people to talk to. It's hard, but it's a part of life.
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (27 June 2018):
 Dear hurt,
If he had come to us for advice we would have told him to do exactly what he did. These are some of the reasons. When a person has a close opposite sex friend (OSF) they don't have as many chances to develop romantic relationships. The future is better for him and you to break up the relationship. You have given him your final word, there is nothing left for him in your friendship but Pain. The sooner he leaves the sooner the pain stops.
Honestly you have for some time Used him as a substitute for having friends. You are alone because you put all your emotion into the one boy you refuse to get close to. It's very contradictory (confusing).
So far I have just interpreted what is going on. You need some advice on getting past this. You are going to have to grieve. Perhaps you haven't studied this yet. there is plenty of information online on the stages of grieving. Or maybe you would prefer a self help book. Talking about it is a good start, but you need more information.
FA
...............................
|
