A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so when me and my boyfriend met i was 15 pounds lighter, Iam still not overweight and look average for a 28 year old woman but i feel there is something missing and i can't figure out what it is. He used to be so into me and our sex life was amazing. Now that i work graveyard shifts i've gained weight. He used to call me sexy and all those names and i just dont hear them anymore. Iam trying to eat better and go to the gym but i loose the motivation for doing so. I want him to look at me the way he used to look at me. It might also be my low self-esteem that is adding to this too. I just want to feel better about myself again. My body used to look so gpod when i looked at my self and now i see fat in places where i hate! We used to have sex every weekend (sorry to be so direct) and he would go down on me all the time and it just doesn't happen anymore. .. alot goes through my head... is he not attracted to me anymore? Am i not good enough?? Is he seeing someone that looks better than me?? I need some advice on what to do, please only positive feedback. How do i get the motivation again?
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male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (22 November 2014):
try to motivate yourself and go the gym you will start feeling more confident again.
I am in the same boat as you ( except I am single :( lol ) but I need to go the gym but loose motivation , yet I know if I went I would be booming with more confidnce .
And like Honeypie said you may be giving off a bad aura because you feel bad about your self.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2014): I don't know what you mean by "only positive feedback", but here it goes. Maybe you are the only one who has issues with you gaining some weight. If he hasn't commented anything, then it seems you are the one who is putting you down by thinking negative about yourself and your body. Show bit kindness to yourself.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 November 2014):
 "when i looked at my self and now i see fat in places where i hate! "Okay, so some things have change in your relationship, your body, and your sex life. So... the first thing you do is...that right...blame yourself. That kind of thinking has made every relationship better...right?? When you hate yourself, you open the door for..." It might also be my low self-esteem "...and down hill we go.You ever think that your relationship has change because of all the negative thinking, and less working on the positive?? Focus on rocking your man's world no matter your size...Or sexersize the weight off.You are saying that you are letting 15 pounds beat you?? Not another woman (mistress), a bully, an evil co-worker, an abusive man...15 pounds of you own body is beating you. WOW!!! Hey boyfriend, don't cheap on your girl and ruin your relationship. Your girl has 15 pounds doing a perfectly good job of that.Who needs an enemy when you have one right in your head telling you crap. If you don't love what you see in the mirror, then get rid of the mirror...then go sex your man's brains out, take back what you think you have lost, and anything else in your life.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 November 2014):
 I could be your attitude that's a turn off, not your body. YOU may not have noticed it yourself but you might have become more clingy or needy? And that screams of insecurities.
If you WANT to lose weight for YOU, go for it - but BE consistent. Don't do it for him.
If you feel like he is no longer into you, TALK to him.
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