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*ummyMummy agony aunt

*ummyMummy

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*ummyMummy's profile:

I'm 22 years of age and have just become a Mum for the first time! Bethany Molly was born on the 9/11/07 at 12.51pm weighing 8 pound 3. Apparently I'm a lucky so and so as my waters broke at 9am and only was in labour just under 3 hours. It still hurt though. But she is worth every bit of it though!

I'm not qualified to give out advice, but feel due to experiences I've had that I can give out a bit of friendly advice that might be helpful. I am currently thinking of doing a counselling course at home while my baby is young. Then once baby goes to nursery am hoping to do the uni course I was supposed to start this Sept just gone. I want to be a teacher :)

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What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   22 August 2007: You want to talk about "love" when it is a married man you are considering telling. You may feel you "love" this man but surely wrecking his life whether you love him or not isn't an option. He is TAKEN so just be his friend. xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   25 July 2007: I haven't skipped over what you are saying. I think you having a friendship with this guy is dangerous. But that is only what I think and like eyeswideopen I think you have already made your mind up. xxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

We've been on-again-off-again since I cheated; how can I fix things?

Q.   I cheated on my boyfriend of 2 years and i regret it so much. we've been on and off again since it happened. what do I do to fix our relationship so we can stay together and be happy?...

A.   21 July 2007: You can't blame your guy for being a little lost but the dropping and picking up of the relationship has to stop or it will never heal. You two either need to be united to sort this out or split up. Good luck hunni! xxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't respect that I'm a teacher! Tonight he said he's leaving!

Q.   My husband of two years is great, except that he does not and never has respected my profession as a teacher. He wants me to quit my job and go back to school to "do more" with my education. He says that life is too routine and he is not ...

A.   20 July 2007: I'm glad things are working themselves out :) xxxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   20 July 2007: I would go to uni and enjoy your life there and try to move your feelings away from this guy. No the odd coffee or odd email isn't a bad thing but remember he is a) a lot older then you and b) he's married. How would you feel in his wife's shoes. ... (read in full...)

My husband likes to go out to listen to live music, but I dont. How can we comprimise?

Q.   My husband loves to go out late at night to listen to live music, while I don't like the scene at all because it's loud and crowded. I need to go out more with him because he very much wants me there. How can I make it more bearable?...

A.   20 July 2007: I'm glad we could help hunni! xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

I said 'I love you' and he only said 'I heart you'

Q.   hi i have a boyfriend and i told him 'i love u' his reaction was huggin me and kissing me and holding me tight for a pretty long time, his respons was 'i heart you', which i honestly dont understand what that means does anyone understand what his ...

A.   19 July 2007: Males are sometimes afraid to show their true feelings, or he just may not be in "love" with you yet. Don't take the fact he didn't say it personally. He will say it in time if he does fall in love with you. Least he didn't just say it because he ... (read in full...)

We've been on-again-off-again since I cheated; how can I fix things?

Q.   I cheated on my boyfriend of 2 years and i regret it so much. we've been on and off again since it happened. what do I do to fix our relationship so we can stay together and be happy?...

A.   19 July 2007: All you can do is give the relationship time to heal. Your guy needs to learn to trust you again and that can take a while. If you both put in the work though, in time you should be ok again. Why do things keep ending? Who dumps who? I... (read in full...)

I feel that my vagina is a bit loose, can I tighten it up somehow?

Q.   I'm "big" down there and it makes it difficult for my partner to feel me when we're having sex. He's a normal size. I've never had children, it's just the way I'm built. Are there any things I can do to make my vagina tighter? I know about ...

A.   19 July 2007: I wasn't just on about when you pee. You can exercise your pelvic muscles anytime, any place! xxxxx... (read in full...)

My ex is constantly phoning me and trying it on. He wants to get back together or is he after sex?

Q.   My ex boyfriend has reappeared in my life, wanting to get back together. When we were together we got on great but he didn't treat me well ie. when I miscarried or take me out. Not spoken to him in four months now he constantly phoning me and we ...

A.   19 July 2007: There's no harm in you bumping in to him as long as you don't give in to weakness. Just think that he might be using you and keep walking. xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

My husband likes to go out to listen to live music, but I dont. How can we comprimise?

Q.   My husband loves to go out late at night to listen to live music, while I don't like the scene at all because it's loud and crowded. I need to go out more with him because he very much wants me there. How can I make it more bearable?...

A.   19 July 2007: Hope you come up with a solution hunni! xxxxxx... (read in full...)

My husband of six months cheated on me w/ his ex! What should I do??

Q.   I just found out that my husband of only 6 months basically cheated on me the other night. He took his ex out to dinner then they went to our new apartment to talk and they ended up kissing! i just got a new job not even a month ago but ever since I ...

A.   19 July 2007: Good Luck hunni! I hope it all works out ok for you. Don'e expect to trust/respect him overnight. It'll take time but if you both want this to work out then I don't see why he shouldn't. xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

My husband likes to go out to listen to live music, but I dont. How can we comprimise?

Q.   My husband loves to go out late at night to listen to live music, while I don't like the scene at all because it's loud and crowded. I need to go out more with him because he very much wants me there. How can I make it more bearable?...

A.   18 July 2007: Can you not go and see a live band one week then do something you like the next week? It's about compromising. xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

How can I relax more when I have sex?

Q.   Hi I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin and am worried that I may have trouble losing it as I'm quite shy and also when I have tried before I have either not been able to penetrate or sustain an erection.. please help.....

A.   18 July 2007: It'll happen. All you can do is try and relax. Maybe explain to the girl you are with that you get nervous and she might be able to help. xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

I love him but the sex has waned on my part! What can I do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we live together. Everything is fantastic with our relationship, apart from the sex part. When I first started seeing him, I wanted sex with him all the time, it was all I could think about, and ...

A.   18 July 2007: Maybe going to see your doctor might help as there could be a problem there somewhere? At the moment we have sex an average of once every few weeks. xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

How do I tell my inexperienced boyfriend how to do things the way I like it?

Q.   ive recently started having sex with my boyfriend and we are both 17. he was a virgin before he met me and hes not to clued up on what to do. i dont know how to teach him to do things the way i like it without sounding patronising as ive never been ...

A.   18 July 2007: I agree with nologo- think back to when you were a virgin and didn't really know what you were doing. Try moving your boyfriend's hand to where you do like it would be a good thing to do. If you sit with him on a one on one basis and explai... (read in full...)

Is our relationship illegal if we are not having sexual relations?

Q.   i am a 15 year old girl and my boyfriend soon to be fiance is 18 and i was just wandering if it was illegal to date or to get engaged if there is no sexual realations?...

A.   18 July 2007: I agree with raychell. Think long and hard about why you think this 18 year old wants to be with a 15 year old before you get engaged. Your relationship won't be illegal if there is no sex. But if there is any sexual contact then he could go... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't respect that I'm a teacher! Tonight he said he's leaving!

Q.   My husband of two years is great, except that he does not and never has respected my profession as a teacher. He wants me to quit my job and go back to school to "do more" with my education. He says that life is too routine and he is not ...

A.   18 July 2007: If you are happy in your job then tell him this. After my baby is born I will be going to university to train as a teacher as I think I would love to do this job and it seems like a very fulfilling one. Your husband is being a little out of or... (read in full...)

I kept asking for breaks and eventually he didn't want me back! Now he's with someone else, can I get him back?

Q.   i was with my boyfriend for 6 months and i kept askin for bearks so i could meet other people (which a regret) he took me back evertime then the last he did'nt i was heart broken then a week later i found out he was with someone else !! after a ...

A.   18 July 2007: I don't blame him for moving on hunni when all you did was pick him up and drop him. That sounds harsh and blunt but if it was the other way round you would do the same right? Unfortunetly all you can do is apologise to him for your behaviou... (read in full...)

How do you talk to cute guys and how do you know if they like you!?

Q.   i have 2 questions how do you talk to really cute guys(the kind where your too shy to even look at ) when you don't know them? how can you tell if someone likes you, when you havent met beore, but you've seen before (like a crush)? thank...

A.   18 July 2007: Just start by saying hey to the lad when you walk past him. If he responds then next time ask him how he is or something. The best way of finding out if someone likes you is by asking them to a movie or for a drink or something. Or to drop ver... (read in full...)

My ex is constantly phoning me and trying it on. He wants to get back together or is he after sex?

Q.   My ex boyfriend has reappeared in my life, wanting to get back together. When we were together we got on great but he didn't treat me well ie. when I miscarried or take me out. Not spoken to him in four months now he constantly phoning me and we ...

A.   18 July 2007: Hmmmmm...... I don't know him so I can't say for definate but he sounds like he may just be in it for what he can get. I wouldn't go there and see how long he hangs about. If he is after only sex he'll get bored and try elsewhere. Can you get his ... (read in full...)

Could I have caught HIV from biting my tongue in a restraunt???

Q.   Today I went and ate at a buffet restraunt with my family and friends. While I was eatting I bit my tougue by mistake and blood was coming out. It looks a bit puffy now. Since I bit my tougue, could I be expose to any diseases since this took place ...

A.   18 July 2007: HIV doesn't kick in that quick. I don't think anyway. Your tongue is possibly puffy from where you bit it as it is quite sensitive. I would go and see the doctor and see what they say if you are really worried. xxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

Is there anything to prevent me from getting sun damage to my skin???

Q.   Are there any lotions/creams out there that I could put on that prevents me from getting sun damage and tan before I step outside? [Moderator note: Sunscreen.. sunblock... suntan lotion... ???]...

A.   18 July 2007: I agree with the Moderator. The only thing I can say is sun cream, and don't sit in the sun for too long especially during the hottest point in the day. I burn very easily, and due to the fact I'm pregnant took a factor 50 sun cream with me on ho... (read in full...)

After 6 years we broke up on New Years. He's now married with a child on the way - how do I get over it!?

Q.   On New Years Day of this year my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. He actually told me on Christmas Eve that he was interested in someone else. I've been through this before, so I just thought he was going threw another one of his crisis and ...

A.   18 July 2007: Oh Hunni. How horrid. He's been a right nasty thing there. Especially ringing you to tell you he misses you then getting married. Maybe he did miss you, then found out the lady he's with is pregnant and felt obliged to marry her? Or maybe he did t... (read in full...)

What exactly is the coil?

Q.   Hi I've heard this alot on this site, can someone tell me what "the coil" is? [moderator notice: You would quickly find the answer to this question by typing "What is the coil" or "contraceptive coil" in to Google.]...

A.   18 July 2007: Here's a site I gave to a friend who asked me- http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraceptivecoil.htm xxxxxx... (read in full...)

After 17 years we broke up and my partner found someone else within weeks!

Q.   My partner of 17years spilt up and found another guy within a few weeks. I didnt get any closure and she has not made any contact for a good few months. I was extremely hurt and have had counselling. I just wondered if she might have cheated on me ...

A.   18 July 2007: Some people just seem to be able to throw themselves in to a new relationship right after one ends. I wouldn't torture yourself thinking about whether she cheated on you or not. If it is a rebound thing more than likely it won't work out as she w... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to move in with him. How do I tell my mum I'm going???

Q.   I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 28. I love him so much and he loves me. He wants me to move in with him b/c my stepdad treats me bad and he just wants to be with me. i don't know how to tell my mom i'm moving out....

A.   18 July 2007: I think the best thing to do is sit your mum down just you and her and tell her. I don't know the rules in the States of someone whos only 16/17 moving out. xxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

I didn't show up for my class reunion because I don't feel like I have achieved anything!

Q.   My high school just held their 30th class reunion. I was a no-show because it occurred to me that I have done nothing with my life that would impress anyone and you know, reunions are all about showing off your kids, your careers and your life-long ...

A.   18 July 2007: Ok, so you haven't made anything of your life so far. How about changing that from now on. If you feel in a hole in your job- get out and get a new one. Get yourself on the dating ladder if you feel ready etc. It's only ourselves who can change o... (read in full...)

Can you love your boyfriend but still have feelings for your ex?

Q.   Can you still have feelings for your ex and be in love with the boyfriend you have now? I'm in love with my boyfriend and we have a great relationship but occasionally memories of my ex come up and sometimes I've dreamt about him occasionally. I ...

A.   18 July 2007: I think there is always some kind of connection between you and someone you had a serious thing with. Like your first love. I was told as a child you never forget them. My first love who happened to be the first guy I slept with to was a right bum ... (read in full...)

What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   18 July 2007: No I shouldn't think so as long as like you said you don't interfere. If they really are unhappy the marriage will end at some point. :) xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

How can I let me friend see he's no good for her?

Q.   My best mate is with a really bad guy, he lies to her, he over reacts, he plays to the fact she is sweet and feels guilty easly to get his way. We can all see how bad he is for her but she can't or won't. I really hate seeing her this upset it's ...

A.   17 July 2007: I agree with LauraE you can't stop your friend loving this guy. I don't think she can be helped until she can see what this guy is doing to her. She will, eventually wake up and see him what he really is. Maybe she already has but has become s... (read in full...)

How long is it decent to wait until you make a move on someone that has just broken up?

Q.   How long do i wait untill i make the move? this guy has just broken up with someone but how long do i wait to make my move? please help xxxx...

A.   17 July 2007: There is no specific time. Obviously if he is moping about and pining after the other girl I would say now would be a bad time. But if he seems to be moving on in his life I would say make a play before someone else does :D xxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

we used protection, but my period is overdue. Could I be pregnant?

Q.   Hey everyone.Around 3 months ago i had sex with my boyfriend for the first time.Everthing was ok and we used protection and stuff but i still haven't got my period yet and am having loads of pregnancy symptoms.Its soo strange though because i've ...

A.   17 July 2007: I agree with dr nikki- if you are unsure then go see your doctor and get tested. If the condom didn't split and no sperm got near you girly bits then no you aren't pregnant. Another thing the more you worry about your period being late the late... (read in full...)

My gf broke up w/ me because I'm too overprotective. Right now she hates me, should I not text her?

Q.   hey! 3 weeks ago while i was on holidays my girlfriend broke up with me! we are only 15 but she was going out to a disco that night and said i didnt trust her and she said that i was too over-protective! at the moment she hates me. do you think...

A.   17 July 2007: I would leave her to contact you. If she "hates" you so much then having you text her wont help. Plus you don't want to look needy or something do you xxxxxxx... (read in full...)

When is the right time to have kids?

Q.   i have been dating my boyfriend for 2yrs and we are madly in love, we also know we are going to get married soon. we plan on having kids. but my problem is when is the right time to have kids?? while im in college or after?...

A.   17 July 2007: After college. Get your degree first then start the process. I have fallen pregnant and am now having to put uni off for a while. You and your partner will know the right time for you, but I would say hang on and finish your education first :)... (read in full...)

How, if I cant even get a tampon in, am I supposed to have sex?

Q.   Im 15 and have a super huge problem with the whole tampon thing. I never knew how bad they hurt; so i just let my mom put it in and dear lord it hurt like hell. I went and threw up because I was so shocked and scared. I couldnt get it out and ...

A.   17 July 2007: Using a tampon takes practise. I couldn't use one until after I had had sex. Having something "put down there" is quite a shocking thing to do and it does take some getting used to. I would suggest not using a tampon until you feel totally ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is verbally abusive when he is drunk

Q.   This might sound like quite a minor problem but it really gets me down - my bf is lovely n kind etc and ive bin with him for over a year. but when he gets drunk he completely changes and is really nasty to me. he calls me a slut/whore etc and just ...

A.   17 July 2007: Minor problem? I think I would class this as quite a bit more then minor hunni. If he wont stop drinking and see's nothing wrong with what he is doing then I think you should think about ending it as it doesn't matter that he is more sober th... (read in full...)

I am in love with my teacher. How can I get through summer holidays without him?

Q.   Right i'm in the most awful, emotionally-depressive situation. Now as you're reading this you'll think that by my first sentence i'm over-exaggerating! But trust me, if you are or have been in a similar experience to this then you'll hopefull...

A.   17 July 2007: Maybe rather then reposting the same thing you should reread the past posts :D It does feel like the end of the world hunni and a lot of advice can feel hard to take in. The saying "the truth hurts" is so true. Keep rereading the advice people g... (read in full...)

Two exes want me back. How do I choose?

Q.   I'm confused. I have an ex who is trying to work things out even though we had a lot of drama in our realtionship of 2 years, but I still love him. The other problem is that I have two kids from my ex prior to this relationship and he wants to make ...

A.   17 July 2007: You're welcome hunni :D Hope it works out for you! Make sure you are definetly sure before telling them who you want to be with :D xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

Any tips on how I set up a special romantic night for him?

Q.   Hello, my bf and i have a 3 year annyversary and we both happen to be broke. He will get a hotel room for us to have a romantic night, but i would want to make it special.... I would also like to kind of set up a table, little dinner, but i dont ...

A.   17 July 2007: Take a cd player, some cds, some candles and a little picnic of food like sandwiches and crisps. Maybe some strawberries if the budget stretches to it :D And a cheap bottle of wine or a few beers xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

Guys don't like me b/c of my hair color, so how do I get the boy I'm after?

Q.   None of the boys on my year seem to like me because I have ginger hair. I also really like this one boy. How do I get the boy I'm after?? Please help...

A.   17 July 2007: My niece is a gingernut and we love her for it! Lord help if anyone tries to bully her for it lol. If a guy is going to not like you because of your hair hunni then he isn't worth the time of day. Would you turn a guy down because he has green ey... (read in full...)

I slapped my bf and he kicked me out! Any advice on how to make him reconsider?

Q.   My boyfriend of just over three years and I had a fight. I slapped him and he threw me out and told me it was over. Any advice on how to make him reconsider? ...

A.   17 July 2007: Is this the only time you've hit someone? There is no excuse for violence in a relationship at all. Not even during a fight. All you can do is apologise for slapping him once he has cooled down and see what he says. Just be prepared that it might... (read in full...)

When's the best time to have children? During college or after?

Q.   so i've been with my boyfriend for 2yrs and we plan on getting married in the future. we also plan on having kids. but the problem is. i dont know when is the right time to have kids?? during college? or after?...

A.   17 July 2007: As someone who has just finished college and was due to start Uni in Sept I would recommend after you have qualified. I know have to put university off until the child can go to nursery, which I don't mind doing I might add. But it means yet again ... (read in full...)

I love him but the sex has waned on my part! What can I do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for a year, and we live together. Everything is fantastic with our relationship, apart from the sex part. When I first started seeing him, I wanted sex with him all the time, it was all I could think about, and ...

A.   17 July 2007: I was the same with my partner. I think its something to do with being "confortable" with the person or so my psycologist told me when I asked her. You get to a point where you don't feel the "need" to be physical with your partner that often ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesnt show me any affection

Q.   my boyfriend says he loves me but never shows any affection to me. Could there be anything that im doing wrong?...

A.   17 July 2007: Could you try talking to him about it and see what he thinks maybe triggered it. Maybe it a certain thing you do, or that he does or something silly like that :) xxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

He abused me! ...or did he? Also, I've cheated on him, but he wants me back!

Q.   During my first five years of my realationship my husband kicked in the side of my car once when he was mad and grabbed me and held me by my throat once when he was pissed off at me. Is this abuse if these things only happened once in five years? ...

A.   17 July 2007: Yes that is violent abuse! Whether it happens once or a billion times its still violence that shouldn't be happening. Do you believe he is over the violence? It doesn't matter whether I believe or not, plus I don't know him so I can't comment. Do ... (read in full...)

Should a guy stay with his girlfriend if she has faked a pregancy?

Q.   Should a guy stay with his girlfriend if she has faked a pregancy? ...

A.   17 July 2007: I agree with flowergirl and kenny. If she's lied about this so easily what else can she lie about? Why did she do it? xxxxxxxx... (read in full...)

Two exes want me back. How do I choose?

Q.   I'm confused. I have an ex who is trying to work things out even though we had a lot of drama in our realtionship of 2 years, but I still love him. The other problem is that I have two kids from my ex prior to this relationship and he wants to make ...

A.   17 July 2007: 1)Do you really want a relationship full of drama again? 2) do you want things to work with the babies daddy for you aswell as the kids? I would take a piece of paper and write down what you love and hate about both men. Be totally honest a... (read in full...)

I am in love with my teacher. How can I get through summer holidays without him?

Q.   Right i'm in the most awful, emotionally-depressive situation. Now as you're reading this you'll think that by my first sentence i'm over-exaggerating! But trust me, if you are or have been in a similar experience to this then you'll hopefull...

A.   17 July 2007: I have been there hunni. I pined over a teacher for about 2 years and it sucks. I knew that nothing could happen as he was my teacher and it's against the law. Plus he had a very nice, friendly girlfriend who had his baby aswell. There isn't mu... (read in full...)

What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   17 July 2007: I would say a friendship could work but how would you act in this friendship. Don't friends hang out and things like that. Wouldn't his wife find her husband hanging around with someone 17 a little odd???? xxxxxx... (read in full...)

My husband of six months cheated on me w/ his ex! What should I do??

Q.   I just found out that my husband of only 6 months basically cheated on me the other night. He took his ex out to dinner then they went to our new apartment to talk and they ended up kissing! i just got a new job not even a month ago but ever since I ...

A.   16 July 2007: Do you think you can forgive him? Forgiveness is the first step in making this right. To be able to forget you need to be able to forgive. You also need to be able to forgive so you can try and trust this man again. I would take some time o... (read in full...)

What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s?

Q.   What do you guys think about a 17 year old with a man in his 40s? Yes, he is married with kids. Miserably so, but so. I do realize he has other priorities, and do not expect anything from him. Although I do feel that way, the flirting and teasing ...

A.   16 July 2007: Honestly- I can't see what a 40 year old guy sees in a 17 year old girl. I don't mean that disrespectfully as I am sure you are a very nice girl but come on hunni! This guy is well old enough to be your dad. I can see you have a sensible outlook on ... (read in full...)

I feel that my vagina is a bit loose, can I tighten it up somehow?

Q.   I'm "big" down there and it makes it difficult for my partner to feel me when we're having sex. He's a normal size. I've never had children, it's just the way I'm built. Are there any things I can do to make my vagina tighter? I know about ...

A.   16 July 2007: I'm pregnant right now and worried that I will pee myself and pregnancy will ruin my muscles down there. I am doing exercises to keep them in shape. Tighten your pelvic muscles like you are pausing yourself during a wee and hold for a few seconds ... (read in full...)

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