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*iseOwlE

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Latest articles:

RIP Beloved George Michael

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 December 2016: We lost George Michael just a day ago. He has sung me to sleep, awaken me in the morning, and told me a story as I looked out into the rain. My heart just sank when I heard the news, and I just didn't want to believe we've lost yet another one. It's ...

How do I give up someone I know is the one?

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 June 2016: First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...

May We All Find Peace And Love This Holiday Season

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 December 2015: I wish to offer my most sincere wish of good tidings, good cheer, and peace in a troubled world. If we all watch the news and read social media; we would think the world has gone mad. The mass killings of innocent people. The plight of people who ...

WISHING ALL THE AUNTS AND UNCLES A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

25 December 2014: It has been a most enjoyable year being on Dear Cupid, and reading all of your wonder articles and advice. I am very inspired by the powerful advice given by all of you, and I am proud to be amongst such intelligent and thoughtful people. I ap...

Whoa! I'm on intimate terms with my Postman!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 September 2014: I was sitting down to dinner with the great guy I'm currently dating. Just casually discussing current events. One topic that arose, was the issues of privacy; and the recent scandals about hackers hacking into the mysterious "Cloud" storing the ...

This Is For The Broken-Hearted on Valentine's Day

This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 February 2014: Hello,readers! Here it is again! The day you see those gigantic red symbols called valentines; which are supposed to be hearts. They don't even look like a heart. Well, if they stick a knife through it, tear a hole, then fray the edges, it will b...

How To Get Through The Holidays After A Breakup

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 December 2013: It is approaching the Holidays and the New Year, and many of us ended relationships in the year 2013. Some of you have been single following a breakup for a lot longer; but you start to reminisce about the good old times, when you were all cozy with ...

Guide for adult dating

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2013: Ladies and gentlemen of the adult-dating world, may I have your undivided attention? We're now in the 21st century; and you need some pointers that might minimize your frustrations; and keep you sane while trying to find a date, a partner, or sp...

When will I finally get over the breakup?

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

24 August 2013: So, you have been recently dumped. You had to dump someone else. Maybe you're still in the "no contact" phase after the breakup. Months or years have passed. There is still an ache in your heart for that person. Sometimes it overtakes you ...

Your Ex Is Sending Mixed Signals

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 July 2013: Many of us may be in recovery from a recent breakup, or you are several weeks into the no-contact period. You broke up months or years ago. There is this dull pain in the pit of your heart. You're going about your life. You relapse and cry ...

How Does The Dumper Feel After Dumping You?

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

17 July 2013: I was dumped three months ago, not really on bad terms; I just didn't see it coming. I frequently see questions from those dumped; pleading for a way to help the pain to stop. They need comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They feel wretched and ...

I got dumped and I know how to survive a breakup and didn't know I could

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 July 2013: Well, as the story goes; people all over the world in different languages, know how it feels to get dumped. Generally it stinks. In my case; there was a lot of fun. No real arguments, and being two very mature people; we are well-schooled, a...

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Why is my coworker acting hot and cold?

Q.   There is a male co-worker, "John", that works in another department. When I first started, I thought that he was cute and funny. He seemed kind of shy and wouldn't talk to me when we were alone, only when other people were around. One time he came ...

A.   16 November 2018: Why is his behavior considered so strange? All that silly high school nonsense about crushes and such. You're at work. Leave crushing for your personal-time and a different place. Better offsite from your workplace. Even if he's head over-hee... (read in full...)

Was I expecting too much of my boyfriend regarding his ex?

Q.   Recently a friend of mine told me that she saw my boyfriend's ex working at a nearby shopping outlet. She is working there part time to earn extra holiday cash. History of my boyfriend and his ex : They remained friends for a whole year after hi...

A.   16 November 2018: Here's your mistake. You had the opportunity to decide what you could handle going into this; and you could have also laid-out your guidelines about ex-girlfriends remaining as friends. You're a grown-up and an intelligent woman. You said it ... (read in full...)

How do I make his 2 year old son like me?

Q.   Hi everyone! I started dating a man recently and he has a 2 year old boy from a previous relationship. I met his kid twice so far and he doesn't seem to like me at all! He turns his head around when i talk to him and he doesn't want to talk to me or ...

A.   15 November 2018: Kids warm-up to you, and don't like it when people try to rush them. He's only two, and strangers are scary and confusing. Very rarely do children take to strangers at that age; and sometimes they may never like you the way you want them to. Be pa... (read in full...)

I'm 22 and she's 35 should I continue the relationship?

Q.   I met an amazing woman the other day. I've already gone out with her a couple of times and we've even had sex. The only thing is that she's 35 and I'm 22. She also has a 10 year old boy. I've tried to talk myself out of this a million times, but ...

A.   15 November 2018: You also need a man's point of view on this matter; and I hope other uncles will respond to your post. You've already had sex; and evidently that occurred very shortly after a couple of dates. There is always a fascination and excitement about a ... (read in full...)

My husband has had numerous affairs and somehow it's all my fault! Will he ever accept me and make me feel good about myself?

Q.   I am the most pathetic person I have been married for 28 years. When we met we lived a long way from each other and eventually I moved 250 miles to where he lived. At the time this was because his job was better paid than mine but I now realise ...

A.   13 November 2018: [EDIT]: Typo corrections: "They can only console your whining." ... (read in full...)

My husband has had numerous affairs and somehow it's all my fault! Will he ever accept me and make me feel good about myself?

Q.   I am the most pathetic person I have been married for 28 years. When we met we lived a long way from each other and eventually I moved 250 miles to where he lived. At the time this was because his job was better paid than mine but I now realise ...

A.   13 November 2018: Psychologically, you and your husband are already divorced. He has resigned himself to keeping-up his image in the community; and among your social-circles. Keeping up appearances is common among narcissistic married-men with passive wives. Y... (read in full...)

Do I go with the flow on this one? Or try and dial it back to friends only and if so how?

Q.   I got back in touch with an old male friend around 9 months ago. We were close friends years ago and I was a good friend of his girlfriend. I've been in a relationship with someone else and whilst it started out as friends only, around 3 months in ...

A.   13 November 2018: Relationships only work when both people involved want the same-thing; and both are emotionally-invested. Don't agree to commit, because the sex is good. You don't seem to know what you want exactly. Friends with benefits become uneven or... (read in full...)

How to get him to see the urgency for a house and a family?

Q.   I have been with my husdand for just over 6 years and we are newly wed only married for 5 months. I find I am increasingly getting down and upset as we have been living in a caravan for 5 years together on his parents farm and we now have a good ...

A.   12 November 2018: Then he's in the middle, but you have to keep nudging him. He'll just have to grow-up and get-over that thing about neighbors. Mom and dad don't compete with your wife. He's a man now. With a new wife, a new home, and a family; he won't have a... (read in full...)

A month in, I hate my new career!

Q.   Dear cupid, Not really a relationship question, more a career related. Hi I’m nearly 30 years old and have been working self employed/contracting to employers in the construction field since I finished school. I have always liked my job but it’...

A.   12 November 2018: Yes, Baby-girl, you push and push and push! Establishing a business is a huge challenge undertaking; and a test of your resolve. You don't hit the ground running, my dear! You crawl, learn to take baby-steps, walk...and then take-off running!... (read in full...)

How to get him to see the urgency for a house and a family?

Q.   I have been with my husdand for just over 6 years and we are newly wed only married for 5 months. I find I am increasingly getting down and upset as we have been living in a caravan for 5 years together on his parents farm and we now have a good ...

A.   12 November 2018: I had to smile, reading the part where you describe you're "getting on a bit!" At the ripe-old age of 32! Perhaps the egg-timer is ticking! I think hubby is afraid to leave the farm. People who grow-up in country-surroundings either never want to ... (read in full...)

He wants to be friends only!

Q.   I have been seeing a guy on and off for around 10 months, we’ve never gotten past the casual first stage due to him not being ready and so there have been gaps where we haven’t seen each other and dated other people, however always seem to come ...

A.   12 November 2018: If there is sex in the picture, that might explain it all. Sometimes people want to keep certain benefits and/or options available; and they use friendship as a disguise in order to exploit the ambivalent-connection that remains. You're both a ... (read in full...)

I don’t know if I should date my coworker!

Q.   UI think I know the answer to this, but I’m looking for someone to confirm that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been in my current job for a year, and have sat right next to a man who is around my age. He’s not my normal type physically, but ...

A.   12 November 2018: I must also agree with the decision to take a pass on dating a co-worker. Considering all the worse case scenarios, and the fact he sits next to you everyday. We're talking about your livelihood, where you earn your income, and have establis... (read in full...)

The girls I want to date end up dating other guys!

Q.   Hi everyone! This isn't such a serious situation, just looking for some advice and guidance. I met a girl a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers and she went back to her city 2 hours away. We chatted every day, she flirted a lot and we had a g...

A.   12 November 2018: You've only known this lady for two weeks. You had a great conversation; but that leaves her no obligation to quickly reply to your every contact-attempt. She's not your girlfriend; and no type of relationship has been established. You had a fe... (read in full...)

Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do

Q.   I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...

A.   12 November 2018: You weight the pros and cons in situations where you're not sure of the impact something will have; or what kind of a rippling-effect it would send through your life. In an ideal world, you can confess everything to another human being. This is ... (read in full...)

Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?

Q.   I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...

A.   12 November 2018: If you grow a spine, grow one for your kids! You don't have to take crap from anybody; but your kids don't have to be in the middle of it either!... (read in full...)

Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?

Q.   I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...

A.   12 November 2018: They have big fights in-front of your kids! Name-calling is no big-deal! He's playing mind-games with the children. Now that should be your biggest concern. Here's what you need to do. You can't control two full-grown adults. You can control ... (read in full...)

My head is everywhere and I can't make a decision.

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend for 16 months and he left to go Australia in Feb this year, I knew from the start that that was his plans and I was fine with it and both decided to keep things the same way knowing with it being a long distance ...

A.   12 November 2018: [EDIT]: Typo corrections: "I mean, think about it!" Post script: You may not like Australia. You'd have to find a decent job; and foreigners get picked last when competing for decent employment. Lest you choose to settle for a variety o... (read in full...)

My head is everywhere and I can't make a decision.

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend for 16 months and he left to go Australia in Feb this year, I knew from the start that that was his plans and I was fine with it and both decided to keep things the same way knowing with it being a long distance ...

A.   11 November 2018: Here's my take. If he wanted you there bad enough; your plane ticket and moving-expenses would partially be his financial-responsibility. He'd make-up for whatever money-shortages you couldn't manage to fill. Yes, you knew from the start his plan... (read in full...)

I can't believe he couldnt see how I felt.

Q.   I love a guy who is a good friend of mine and he doesnt know that I love him. At present we are not at all in talking terms. Let me explain how all this happened. 6-7 months back it came to my realization that I love him because I sensed jealousy...

A.   11 November 2018: P.S. If you manage to get him to admit he has romantic-feelings for you; then you're all set. I just don't see it; if you've both been dancing around each other all this time. It's silly! Two grown-ups acting like grade-school children with lit... (read in full...)

I can't believe he couldnt see how I felt.

Q.   I love a guy who is a good friend of mine and he doesnt know that I love him. At present we are not at all in talking terms. Let me explain how all this happened. 6-7 months back it came to my realization that I love him because I sensed jealousy...

A.   11 November 2018: Reading your post, it would seem that you have a problem with becoming attached; before you know (or despite) what the guy feels for you. You don't have the patience to wait and see. You want love so badly! Outside attempts with men have failed; so ... (read in full...)

I like a guy but another girl might steal him.

Q.   I like this uy named Jonah but im not sure how to go about it because we only talk in school and this one girl Aliyah may steal him but I feel like me and him have a connection...

A.   11 November 2018: What's Jonah waiting for if he likes you, instead of Aliyah? You said you and he have a connection; and you believe he likes you. If you want to know how much, you have to ask him before Aliyah comes charging in! Be friendly, but don't do any... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.

Q.   Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...

A.   11 November 2018: She's the perfect girlfriend with the wrong boyfriend. I'm going to keep this short. You don't get a long thoughtful response, you already got seven good ones. Idiots and fools are never thankful for what they have; until they lose it. Sex is ... (read in full...)

I'm not in lov with him but scared of his reaction if I tell him.

Q.   How do you break up with someone your not in love with without hurting them?I think my new boyfriend is obsessed with me and something just doesn't feel right. About a year ago I had a hurtful breakup with my ex boyfriend of 3 years who I deep...

A.   11 November 2018: It seems this guy may have been a rebound-romance following your previous breakup. That's why you should never seek comfort for post-breakup emotions by dating. Your current situation is exactly what could happen. The rebound-guy becomes attached; ... (read in full...)

Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do

Q.   I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...

A.   11 November 2018: [EDIT]: Typo corrections: "It's your boyfriend's child." "Your relationship was strained, you're in counseling, but if you need to relieve yourself by confession; maybe you can set-up a private-session with a counselor." "Sadly, ... (read in full...)

Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do

Q.   I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...

A.   11 November 2018: This one slip, a one-time mistake. It was carelessness, and you set yourself up by chatting with an outsider; while you were working your way through personal-issues. That contact with the so-called friend lead to bad-judgement and vulnerability. ... (read in full...)

I've got a crush on the check out chck!

Q.   Over the last couple of months i have been getting very friendly with a girl who works on the checkout at my local supermarket. We chat a lot and share lots of eye contact, and when i am walking away with my trolley after paying i look back and she ...

A.   11 November 2018: Write your name and number on a piece of paper. Next time you're inline, quickly hand it to her. Apologize if it's too forward; but you'd like to take her out for coffee, if she isn't seeing anyone. Don't hold-up the check-line! Speak softly and be ... (read in full...)

Should I apologize before the concert or just leave it alone?

Q.   When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he ...

A.   10 November 2018: P.S. If you're going to turn the necklace into a dog collar; he will throw it away, just to be nasty. Don't give him the fuel to upset you. You've given him a tool to pluck at your last nerve. Cut all ties, ghost him, so you can heal. He's usi... (read in full...)

Should I apologize before the concert or just leave it alone?

Q.   When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he ...

A.   10 November 2018: You don't want the necklace. You want a reason to hound and harass your ex. Why would he throw it away? I doubt he'd do something stupid like that. I don't think you believe he would either. Let him be. It's his necklace, and if he wants to throw... (read in full...)

I cheated, fell pregnant, boyfriend left, I believe its his baby.

Q.   I cheated on my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant in a month time. When I told my boyfriend about it he told me to give birth but after he will have a DNA test. I had to tell him the truth that I cheated on him.he then said he is not ...

A.   10 November 2018: Have the DNA test done, determine the biological-father. Once you have, get legal arrangements to receive child-support for the child. The father might not care about you; but he has equal responsibility for financial-support and well-bei... (read in full...)

I'm 20 yet my parents don't want me to date.

Q.   Hi everyone, this might get quite lengthy as there are back stories to the issues. Bear with me! First of all, I’m 20 years old in my 2nd year of university and I come from a Chinese family. And yes, the typical stereotypes of asian households...

A.   10 November 2018: Simple. Continue dating the guy and stop trying to change your parents. They aren't changing their beliefs, traditions, or customs; because you think they should. You are just as stubborn as they are, insisting they be the people you think they ... (read in full...)

Sometimes I feel lost about who I am.

Q.   Hi All, Might sound like a silly issue raised, but I have a problem trying to have self belief sometimes. I feel I have come from a relatively tough background (in comparison to most people around me) divorced immature parents, a mother with a pe...

A.   10 November 2018: Girlfriend, can we talk? We can run to a therapist about everything, but sometimes...well, sometimes we have to just stop and think. Isn't this life? Who in the world is happy 24/7, and who on earth is perfect? Yes, my dear, it is quite normal a... (read in full...)

I feel pathetic, its seven years and I am still not over him!

Q.   Hi all, I’m going to keep this short and sweet and any help and advice is greatly appreciated. I was in a long distance relationship that ended in 2011 because my partner got depressed due to me always leaving to go back home. I’m Scottish and he’...

A.   10 November 2018: True-love never goes away; but if you have to give someone up, you learn to live with the loss. I loved someone for 28 years who died of cancer. I'll never get him back, but I have to live-on. That was years ago, and he's still in my heart. I love ... (read in full...)

I love him but I feel sad and ignored.

Q.   Hello everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but things have been rocky lately. Here's a little background info: i'm 27 and he's 36 years old, and has 4 kids. I do not have any kids of my own. Things were good in the beginn...

A.   10 November 2018: You're absolutely right, you're dealing with an emotionally closed-off man. They are as bad as abusive men. They don't let you in, they simply use you for whatever they need; and not much else. He has four kids, which means all his income is for c... (read in full...)

My boyfriend spends all day on a dating app.

Q.   I don't know what to do as my b I yfriend is on a dating app day and night there's no photo of him and details just it shows his location home and work. I don't know what to do I just don't get if he's looking for me on there OE someone else. I see ...

A.   10 November 2018: You should dump him for starts. He's shopping for your replacement. Hang-on to a shred of dignity; and ditch the guy before he introduces you to his new girlfriend!... (read in full...)

I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't see this being a long term forever thing

Q.   I've been seeing a guy since August we both got out of relationships shortly before so we just decided to have fun with it. we've known each other since March and got on well as friends but as both of us were in relationships we never displayed any ...

A.   10 November 2018: I think you need a little more evidence before assuming how much he likes you, and what he wants. You "think" he may be falling for you; but it isn't certain until he tells you how or what he may be feeling. For the moment, it seems to me that he's ... (read in full...)

I'm sick of this man being a ghost in our relationship.

Q.   Early this year my girlfriend did an internship in another city. I was too busy to visit and she didn't have much time either, so she only travelled back here a couple of times. I missed her and was looking forward to her getting back. Then she ...

A.   9 November 2018: Regaining trust after someone has cheated on you is really tough. It can be a lengthy undertaking; and moreover, a very strenuous process in a relationship. it might take years! Trust me, I know. I've been through it. Only, the person who cheated ... (read in full...)

We are on a break but working on our relationship ... he doesn't understand how his actions affected me.

Q.   7 months ago, my ex and I broke up, mutually. Our relationship was long-term. A few days after our breakup I accidentally read a conversation in his facebook account between him and a female friend. The conversation was very intimate, and almost ...

A.   8 November 2018: Maintaining intimacy during a breakup is your first mistake. Others have already addressed the snooping issue. You didn't accidentally read his Facebook, you deliberately spied on him. Sex is being used for the purpose of manipulation; hoping you'll ... (read in full...)

I'm vegetarian, he's not. How can we compromise better?

Q.   I've been vegetarian for 4 years, since before I met my boyfriend. He's a big meat eater, and I honestly don't mind what he eats. I've never tried to convert him. We've found some common ground - we cook a couple of great vegetarian dishes together ...

A.   8 November 2018: P.S. My friend was a vegan much longer than you've been.... (read in full...)

I'm vegetarian, he's not. How can we compromise better?

Q.   I've been vegetarian for 4 years, since before I met my boyfriend. He's a big meat eater, and I honestly don't mind what he eats. I've never tried to convert him. We've found some common ground - we cook a couple of great vegetarian dishes together ...

A.   8 November 2018: Cook for yourself, and let your boyfriend cook the meals he likes. Whoever primarily does the cooking either has to compromise and prepare separate menus to accommodate their partners palate; or every man (or woman) for themselves. This shouldn'... (read in full...)

Why does my husband look up the category of ex girlfriend in porn?

Q.   My husband occasionally uses my laptop. And sometimes watches porn on it, which is fine as long as our sex life is ok. I always delete the porn off my browser history as i sometimes need to bring my laptop into work. Anyway, apart from looking up ...

A.   8 November 2018: [EDIT]: "Don't do it yourself, you won't have the skill." Simply deleting it, or using online instructions to do it aren't enough. You want it completely wiped clean! If the laptop is your personal property no problem. Employers don't... (read in full...)

Why does my husband look up the category of ex girlfriend in porn?

Q.   My husband occasionally uses my laptop. And sometimes watches porn on it, which is fine as long as our sex life is ok. I always delete the porn off my browser history as i sometimes need to bring my laptop into work. Anyway, apart from looking up ...

A.   8 November 2018: You could ask us, but the one you should ask is your husband. He can explain himself, all we can do is guess or speculate. Our answers may be close, or completely off the mark. Like YouWish suggests, it might be vengeance porn. Keep in-mind ... (read in full...)

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