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*iseOwlE

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Latest articles:

RIP Beloved George Michael

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 December 2016: We lost George Michael just a day ago. He has sung me to sleep, awaken me in the morning, and told me a story as I looked out into the rain. My heart just sank when I heard the news, and I just didn't want to believe we've lost yet another one. It's ...

How do I give up someone I know is the one?

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 June 2016: First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...

May We All Find Peace And Love This Holiday Season

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 December 2015: I wish to offer my most sincere wish of good tidings, good cheer, and peace in a troubled world. If we all watch the news and read social media; we would think the world has gone mad. The mass killings of innocent people. The plight of people who ...

WISHING ALL THE AUNTS AND UNCLES A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

25 December 2014: It has been a most enjoyable year being on Dear Cupid, and reading all of your wonder articles and advice. I am very inspired by the powerful advice given by all of you, and I am proud to be amongst such intelligent and thoughtful people. I ap...

Whoa! I'm on intimate terms with my Postman!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 September 2014: I was sitting down to dinner with the great guy I'm currently dating. Just casually discussing current events. One topic that arose, was the issues of privacy; and the recent scandals about hackers hacking into the mysterious "Cloud" storing the ...

This Is For The Broken-Hearted on Valentine's Day

This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 February 2014: Hello,readers! Here it is again! The day you see those gigantic red symbols called valentines; which are supposed to be hearts. They don't even look like a heart. Well, if they stick a knife through it, tear a hole, then fray the edges, it will b...

How To Get Through The Holidays After A Breakup

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 December 2013: It is approaching the Holidays and the New Year, and many of us ended relationships in the year 2013. Some of you have been single following a breakup for a lot longer; but you start to reminisce about the good old times, when you were all cozy with ...

Guide for adult dating

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

2 November 2013: Ladies and gentlemen of the adult-dating world, may I have your undivided attention? We're now in the 21st century; and you need some pointers that might minimize your frustrations; and keep you sane while trying to find a date, a partner, or sp...

When will I finally get over the breakup?

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

24 August 2013: So, you have been recently dumped. You had to dump someone else. Maybe you're still in the "no contact" phase after the breakup. Months or years have passed. There is still an ache in your heart for that person. Sometimes it overtakes you ...

Your Ex Is Sending Mixed Signals

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 July 2013: Many of us may be in recovery from a recent breakup, or you are several weeks into the no-contact period. You broke up months or years ago. There is this dull pain in the pit of your heart. You're going about your life. You relapse and cry ...

How Does The Dumper Feel After Dumping You?

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

17 July 2013: I was dumped three months ago, not really on bad terms; I just didn't see it coming. I frequently see questions from those dumped; pleading for a way to help the pain to stop. They need comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They feel wretched and ...

I got dumped and I know how to survive a breakup and didn't know I could

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 July 2013: Well, as the story goes; people all over the world in different languages, know how it feels to get dumped. Generally it stinks. In my case; there was a lot of fun. No real arguments, and being two very mature people; we are well-schooled, a...

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Is it okay to not want to contact my only remaining family?

Q.   Hi, I’l l try and keep this short. I am not angry or sad. If anything I feel at piece. However, recently some mutual friends have started pressuring me into reconnecting with my family and I know they mean well, but… I just do not feel th...

A.   15 June 2019: Do whatever you feel comfortable to do. You weren't included in the family until they had a use for you; and you weren't remembered and invited when family gathered for celebrations and holidays. That's how families show each other love, support, ... (read in full...)

He didn't respond to my texts, should I have given him a second chance.

Q.   Hi..This guy visiting my city hit me on a dating site today at 1 p.m (local time). We shared the basic information and pics, agreeing to meet up at 8 p.m. One hour before the meeting time, I texted him just to say hi again and ask what was up with ...

A.   15 June 2019: No, he blew his opportunity! Then pulled some lame stunt like you didn't try to contact him to confirm the date. He may not have internet on his phone, but he does receive text messages! The knucklehead ignored you; probably because he was too ... (read in full...)

Ten years together and yet I still don't feel like part of my boyfriend's family.

Q.   My boyfriend and I are close to being in our 10 years of being together. I love him deeply and I am happy to marry him. There is just one thing that bothers me. His mother and brothers do not care about me at all. I understand that family means ...

A.   15 June 2019: He's your boyfriend and not your fiance. Why are you concerned your marriage will be ruined? Until your boyfriend officially proposes to you; marriage is only tentative, and completely up in the air. So don't worry about a ruined marriage when there ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?

Q.   My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...

A.   15 June 2019: I wrote these comments in post script to another writer's comments. Perhaps they will be helpful to you. "Thanks for your appreciation. The pain will linger. You'll continue to miss him. He was once a regular part of your life. I've learned ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?

Q.   My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...

A.   15 June 2019: This is where my journey started: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-will-i-finally-get-over-the-breakup.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-got-dumped-and-i-know-how-.html... (read in full...)

I broke it off with my lover but miss him terribly.

Q.   I am in a marriage and I’m very very happy with my husband we’ve been together for the past 20 years, we decided that due to our own dysfunctional upbringings we would create a wonderful loving safe environment for us and our children to live in ...

A.   14 June 2019: I want to add that we all try not to be too hard on the OP. I think she is well aware of the impact of what she has done. I wanted to give her some food for thought; but I do not wish my words to be so harsh that they are crushing. I want the words ... (read in full...)

I broke it off with my lover but miss him terribly.

Q.   I am in a marriage and I’m very very happy with my husband we’ve been together for the past 20 years, we decided that due to our own dysfunctional upbringings we would create a wonderful loving safe environment for us and our children to live in ...

A.   14 June 2019: Cheating on your spouse is never excusable. I don't care how we try to dress-up and rationalize the things we do that we know are wrong...wrong is wrong! Had you discovered your husband was cheating on you, we'd be reading a whole different tale of ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend constantly quits jobs and I'm tired of picking up the financial slack

Q.   Been together almost 5 yrs. We live together and have a joint bank account. I have been working for the same company for 2 years now, full time, doing about 50 hrs per week. About one year ago he suddenly quit the job he had been with for a long ...

A.   14 June 2019: I am so sorry about your mother, and my sincere condolences for the loss of your grandfather. You're going through hell right now. You have to hold it together, as best you can! You gotta do what you gotta do! Start untangling your accounts... (read in full...)

I think my boyfriend is cheating and lying to me

Q.   hello to all ill try to make this long story short, i am in love with a man whom ive been with for two years, we have had some break ups along the way because he was unfaithful and got someone pregnant, he wanted to work things out so he asked for ...

A.   14 June 2019: Your boyfriend's credibility is shot. He got another woman pregnant, and now you can't trust him. If your cousin insists he saw him, I doubt he would purposely want to upset you. If they work at the same place, you would think they'd know the ... (read in full...)

I'd like to date my friend but worried about losing his friendship

Q.   I like this guy. I play tennis with him so I am around him pretty much all day every day especially because it's summer. He has shown lots of signs that he's into me but I guess I'm just scared to lose him as a friend if I get rejected. I want to ...

A.   14 June 2019: Stop and think carefully. What signs have you seen that he's into you? If that's true, what are you waiting for? What does he have to do other than all those signs he's shown you that he likes you? Are you sure that is the case, or is it wishful-... (read in full...)

Why am I always the runner up?

Q.   Why am I always runner up? I don't date much - in fact in the last few years I hardly dated at all, but the last three men I was involved with all chose someone else over me. The first went back to his ex, the second chose to date my friend instead ...

A.   13 June 2019: Typo corrections: "If you're single, you're fortunate when you can get dates." " If you're single and still seeking romantic-companionship; it follows that you would try to look presentable, do your hair, dress in a way that flatters you, an... (read in full...)

Why am I always the runner up?

Q.   Why am I always runner up? I don't date much - in fact in the last few years I hardly dated at all, but the last three men I was involved with all chose someone else over me. The first went back to his ex, the second chose to date my friend instead ...

A.   13 June 2019: Love doesn't happen on cue or when you want it to. It happens when it happens. If you're single, you fortunate when you can get dates. As life goes, making a lasting romantic-connection is hit or miss. If you keep missing, you just keep trying. You ... (read in full...)

Was my boyfriend lying about the period he was depressed and about how things were with his ex wife?

Q.   My boyfriend has told me a few times that the years he was with his ex wife he was miserable and it was the worst time in his life (we have been together two years, they divorced over ten years ago) The other day while I was driving I asked ...

A.   13 June 2019: Why is it any of your business what your boyfriend felt about his ex-wife? It seems you're drumming-up drama just for the sake of creating it! He divorced her 10 years ago! How is that relevant now? Why are you even digging-up his past,and... (read in full...)

I feel I have no say in how we spend our holidays becuase I have no family

Q.   I wrote last week about going on holiday to see my partner's family and the fact that we had to keep to schedule and had no time alone even though I was ill. I appreciate everyone's advice. Some said I should have my own staycation meaning stay at ...

A.   13 June 2019: If you had your say in what you'd do for holidays, tell us where you would want to go and/or what you would do? It's unfortunate that you have no family. Unless you're an orphan, or come from a war-torn country where all your family-m... (read in full...)

Mixed signals, and being friend-zoned without any proper conversation

Q.   I was seeing a guy for a month that I’d met off a dating app. We would hook up almost every time we met. I invited him out for dinner, he’d message me all the time, we'd have intimate time always alone with cuddling and tender kissing. It was a ...

A.   12 June 2019: "He saw it more as a friendship with benefits." What do you expect when you meet to hookup? As a gay-man, I know that (generally) gay-men are non-committal; and quite casual about sex. Stereo-typically, gay-males are notoriously prom... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend have to say hello to every young blonde woman that he sees?

Q.   I been with my boyfriend for two years now but every time we are out walking when a young woman passes by he says hello I don't understand this as I don't say hello to random young men or women passing by and it really winds me up. He says he's just ...

A.   12 June 2019: He's flirting. If he targets a type and specifically female; it's meaningless flirting. If you've told him that it bothers you, and he tells you he isn't going to stop regardless; then I guess the ball is in your court. You're boyfriend and girl... (read in full...)

LDR boyfriend is not giving me attention

Q.   I have been in a LDR for about 5 months. I love my bf dearly and i am willing to sacrifice to spend time with him and talk to him. We met on a app and usually we talk on the app bc we can play games and talk. From the very beginning there has always ...

A.   12 June 2019: It takes a lot to be strong enough to stick by a relationship that you can't touch when you want to, you spend most of your time waiting to be together, and everything is on-hold until you get the opportunity to spend time face-to-face. Meanwhile, ... (read in full...)

My husband had a sexual fling while I was mourning the loss of my father. How do I get past this?

Q.   My father died last year. It was a tough time for me and still is. We were very close. I found out recently that my husband of 6 years was having a "fling" with an old friend while I was mourning my dad's loss. It wasn't a full blown affair. It was ...

A.   12 June 2019: "I'm trying to decide whether he was human and made a mistake or just a selfish asshole." The answer to this question is that he is both! How does your grief, anguish, and loss translate into his infidelity? Why did he take vows as your lawfully... (read in full...)

I never get what I ask for from my husband

Q.   My marriage is in trouble and I need help. I have been married 4 years and we have a little boy together. My husband is a nice man, does provide, makes tea and tells me he loves me. But, he doesn’t listen or take action. For example, we have...

A.   10 June 2019: Do you want a man's opinion? You're treating him like a sperm donor. Snapping your fingers and expecting him to deposit sperm on command. Where's the fun and spontaneity in that? If you ask for things with a demanding-tone; or make it seem as ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with judgmental and snobbish people in my place of work?

Q.   I work in a engineering firm and I have come across a group. Of people two men and some of the woman that seem to be judgmental of where people live and the city they were raised. I live in a major city in the US near New York and like every city ...

A.   10 June 2019: You cannot stop people from being judgmental, prejudiced, snobbish, or mean. So, you control how their behavior affects you. You've been on the planet long enough to know a thing or two about human-nature. You know there are good-people and bad-... (read in full...)

Should I delete my email account altogether so that he can't get in touch with me?

Q.   Hello my ex- fiancé and I broke up 7 months ago. We’re together for about two years! He moved to another country because he is in the military. Anyway to make things easier I blocked him off of all social media, phone etc. Today he emailed me! All ...

A.   9 June 2019: You can delete the emails, block/avert them to spam; or just change your email address. You've asked a great question! I'm going to use it as a platform! Not only for you; but other people in your predicament. I will be bluntly honest. ... (read in full...)

LDR girlfriend got drunk at a club and can't remember anything

Q.   Dear all I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years and during that time nothing bad has happened, it's been pretty good mostly. At the moment it is long distance and has been this way for 6 months. My girlfriend went to an exhibition ...

A.   9 June 2019: Typo corrections: "Lets view this like an adult." "Under the circumstances, I strongly urge you to be supportive; and make it absolutely clear that you don't have it in you to handle another incident of this sort, if it involves drugs o... (read in full...)

LDR girlfriend got drunk at a club and can't remember anything

Q.   Dear all I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years and during that time nothing bad has happened, it's been pretty good mostly. At the moment it is long distance and has been this way for 6 months. My girlfriend went to an exhibition ...

A.   9 June 2019: In another thirty days she should be checked for any possible STD infection. Let view this like an adult. She didn't have to confess anything to you. I think she gave you every detail; and even a little TMI, as well as she can recall. I cauti... (read in full...)

How do I fill this need to be the nurturer in the relationship?

Q.   I have an emotional dilemma. I am 24 and have a wonderful boyfriend who has a huge extended family (all of whom are lovely people). He had quite an idyllic childhood. My childhood was less happy. My mother died when I was 12 and I suffered sexual ...

A.   9 June 2019: Being the first to answer your post, I'd say put that nurturing-spirit of yours to good-use. Not just rescuing damaged-people you feel sorry for; but actually volunteering or taking up a side-profession where you actually get to care for people. ... (read in full...)

What do I do inbetween therapy sessions?

Q.   What do I do in between therapy sessions? I know life goes in per usual but I feel so lost. During therapy, everything seems to make sense, we are getting closer to solving the puzzle. I am still in process of telling my therapist my life story and ...

A.   9 June 2019: Therapy has to be applicable to your daily functions and routines. It's not just sitting in session and talking to your therapist. You should be taking mental-notes of questions asked by your therapist. Introspect on your past conversa... (read in full...)

Who is the guarded one? I’m ready for a relationship and am willing to work on opening up!

Q.   I’m looking at online dating and chatting with a guy.He keeps saying, I’m guarded.But I’m prepared to trust, tell him whatever he needs to know,. I’ve told him to ask, what does he want to know.? I want to get to know him and have told him so. He ...

A.   8 June 2019: I want to address this comment separately: " I really am ready for a relationship now," Don't let desperation put you ahead of yourself. Relationships don't happen immediately. They take time to develop. Reprogram your mindset! If y... (read in full...)

Who is the guarded one? I’m ready for a relationship and am willing to work on opening up!

Q.   I’m looking at online dating and chatting with a guy.He keeps saying, I’m guarded.But I’m prepared to trust, tell him whatever he needs to know,. I’ve told him to ask, what does he want to know.? I want to get to know him and have told him so. He ...

A.   8 June 2019: If he thinks you're guarded, and says so; then remain guarded. You're a female interacting online with a total stranger. Exchanging messages is just an informal introduction; and you owe him no more than what you wish to reveal. He's being ... (read in full...)

I feel guilty about unfriending a friend of my husband, on his account!

Q.   Before we met, my husband used to work for this couple who owned their own business. He worked for them for about seven years. He was good friends with them both, but especially the wife. When we started dating, whenever they threw their annual ...

A.   8 June 2019: You're now his wife, and you have full-access to his Facebook account. He is aware of her behavior, and in spite of your every effort to be pleasant to her; she made it clear she only likes your husband. Well, once you're married; the boundary-lines ... (read in full...)

Why was he dating me at the same time as getting back together with his ex?

Q.   He should have just told me that he had some issues to work out with her and I would have stepped aside. I didn't even want to get involved at first but HE'S the one who pursued me... HARD! He talked about the future with me and made plans for us ...

A.   7 June 2019: It appears he may have used you as a backup-plan, as well as leverage; to get his ex back. He used an ages-old tactic of letting her know she has competition; and if things just didn't workout for them, you were going to be his second-choice. He ... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting? My husband's been having outburts that make no sense. It this the start of domestic abuse?

Q.   I have been with my husband for five years, married for two of them. He is usually helpful, polite, funny and affectionate. In the last three years, there have been outbursts that made no sense. In the first one, he started an argument when we ...

A.   7 June 2019: I am extremely pleased that things worked-out for you and your husband. You had to take all the necessary steps to let him know that you weren't going to allow yourself to be victimized or the target of his rage. I think you handled everything ... (read in full...)

Abusive actions, abusive words, messaging other women—I feel I just don’t know him anymore!

Q.   Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 8years. We have talked about marriage and having children and settling down. We currently live together. For the past few months however I just haven’t been happy. We’ve been arguing a lot and we just feel...

A.   6 June 2019: People think living together is like previewing marriage or getting to know each other. Practice and preparation for life to come. Well, here's a few fun facts you and other women might take into advisement; before you dedicate a chunk of your life ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin

Q.   Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...

A.   6 June 2019: With all the complaints we receive here at DC, it would seem guys can't win. He's too insensitive, he pays me no attention, he's not affectionate, he cheats, he snaps at me...on and on and on! If you feel he's going overboard with idolizin... (read in full...)

My wife has put our marriage in jeopardy because she's been hiding things

Q.   I have been poly and pansexual since I can remember. I met my wife 4 years ago. She is also pansexual and poly, but unexperienced in the lifestyle. We have had threesomes together (all with men) in that time, and even found ourselves a boyfriend, ...

A.   6 June 2019: You're describing "novice" behavior. You're a veteran at all this, and you play by the rules. Your experience and ability to handle so much at one-time places you at a greater advantage. She's a victim of circumstance; and the odds are likely she'll ... (read in full...)

I don’t trust him, he’s a player! Why does he not want me to move on? What to do?

Q.   I like this guy from almost 1 year now I had a crush on him even though I knew he had a girlfriend Then abruptly out of the blue he started flirting with me and blushing. his friends tease me even teachers tease me by his name once I saw him with ...

A.   6 June 2019: Nobody likes rejection or to get busted for being a player. He is just trying to reignite your crush. You got over him quickly (so you claim); and that's a blow to his ego, and his studly-reputation. He's getting teased about it, more than likely; ... (read in full...)

Is it possible for beauty to love the beast?

Q.   I am posting this question partly out of my own insecurities but also because some people are talking behind my back. I am a virgin who is in his first relationship. My girlfriend is a friend from school who got divorced not too long ago. I used to ...

A.   6 June 2019: Typo correction: "Genes can be tricky little buggers!"... (read in full...)

Is it possible for beauty to love the beast?

Q.   I am posting this question partly out of my own insecurities but also because some people are talking behind my back. I am a virgin who is in his first relationship. My girlfriend is a friend from school who got divorced not too long ago. I used to ...

A.   6 June 2019: Someone's looks aren't always the "it-factor" that stimulates your sense of attraction towards them. Personality and chemistry comes into play; and people pickup invisible-signals that draw them to one-another. Real-love seeks something that comes ... (read in full...)

We broke up and I just want to settle things so I can move on with my life

Q.   Dear cupid! My boyfriend of almost two years dumped me because he said he couldn't be himself with me anymore. We share a bank account together,we bought a big purchase together such as a TV and we share a phone bill where hes the authorized user. ...

A.   5 June 2019: If he makes you any promises regarding refunds, compensation, or repayment over time; GET IT IN WRITING! Record any phone conversations regarding the return of funds, promising repayment, and promising to cooperate. Record and/or keep record o... (read in full...)

We broke up and I just want to settle things so I can move on with my life

Q.   Dear cupid! My boyfriend of almost two years dumped me because he said he couldn't be himself with me anymore. We share a bank account together,we bought a big purchase together such as a TV and we share a phone bill where hes the authorized user. ...

A.   5 June 2019: Separating a bank account get's a little tricky; because most banks require both parties available to authorize changes on the account. You better withdraw whatever you can before he cleans it out! I would go to a service location for the particul... (read in full...)

Crushing on the Walmart guy!

Q.   I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible! I have been single for almost 4 years. I haven't dated anyone I just haven't found anyone that I'm interested in until now. A few months ago I seen this guy that works at my local Walmar...

A.   5 June 2019: Grammatical-cleanup and typo corrections: "The vast majority are too irresponsible; or disinterested in dealing with someone who has to get home by a certain time for their kid, or can't always find a sitter on the spur of the moment." "He doe... (read in full...)

Crushing on the Walmart guy!

Q.   I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible! I have been single for almost 4 years. I haven't dated anyone I just haven't found anyone that I'm interested in until now. A few months ago I seen this guy that works at my local Walmar...

A.   5 June 2019: Well, you did say you've been single four years; and no one seems to spark much interest. Well, not many guys that age want to date single-moms. The vast majority are too irresponsible; or disinterested in dealing with with someone who has to get ... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting? My husband's been having outburts that make no sense. It this the start of domestic abuse?

Q.   I have been with my husband for five years, married for two of them. He is usually helpful, polite, funny and affectionate. In the last three years, there have been outbursts that made no sense. In the first one, he started an argument when we ...

A.   19 July 2014: Your safety is all that matters. If he can't control his temper; then he places it your hands to do it for him. I'm glad you've made arrangements for any future outbursts. You've done something about it. Now it's his turn, if he values his m... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting? My husband's been having outburts that make no sense. It this the start of domestic abuse?

Q.   I have been with my husband for five years, married for two of them. He is usually helpful, polite, funny and affectionate. In the last three years, there have been outbursts that made no sense. In the first one, he started an argument when we ...

A.   19 July 2014: I don't know when having a bad day became an excuse for taking your anger out on your partner, wife, or husband. I've have those days when it "seems" everything is going wrong, and you just can't catch a break. That does not lead to violent ... (read in full...)

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