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*iseOwlE

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Latest articles:

RIP Beloved George Michael

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 December 2016: We lost George Michael just a day ago. He has sung me to sleep, awaken me in the morning, and told me a story as I looked out into the rain. My heart just sank when I heard the news, and I just didn't want to believe we've lost yet another one. It's ...

How do I give up someone I know is the one?

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 June 2016: First off, true love endures. It can withstand challenges, mishaps, and crisis. The important thing is, the one you believe to be the one, has to feel the same as you do; and be willing to struggle to keep it together as much as you want to. See,...

May We All Find Peace And Love This Holiday Season

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

20 December 2015: I wish to offer my most sincere wish of good tidings, good cheer, and peace in a troubled world. If we all watch the news and read social media; we would think the world has gone mad. The mass killings of innocent people. The plight of people who ...

WISHING ALL THE AUNTS AND UNCLES A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAY!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

25 December 2014: It has been a most enjoyable year being on Dear Cupid, and reading all of your wonder articles and advice. I am very inspired by the powerful advice given by all of you, and I am proud to be amongst such intelligent and thoughtful people. I ap...

Whoa! I'm on intimate terms with my Postman!

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 September 2014: I was sitting down to dinner with the great guy I'm currently dating. Just casually discussing current events. One topic that arose, was the issues of privacy; and the recent scandals about hackers hacking into the mysterious "Cloud" storing the ...

This Is For The Broken-Hearted on Valentine's Day

This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 February 2014: Hello,readers! Here it is again! The day you see those gigantic red symbols called valentines; which are supposed to be hearts. They don't even look like a heart. Well, if they stick a knife through it, tear a hole, then fray the edges, it will b...

How To Get Through The Holidays After A Breakup

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 December 2013: It is approaching the Holidays and the New Year, and many of us ended relationships in the year 2013. Some of you have been single following a breakup for a lot longer; but you start to reminisce about the good old times, when you were all cozy with ...

Guide for adult dating

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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2 November 2013: Ladies and gentlemen of the adult-dating world, may I have your undivided attention? We're now in the 21st century; and you need some pointers that might minimize your frustrations; and keep you sane while trying to find a date, a partner, or sp...

When will I finally get over the breakup?

This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

24 August 2013: So, you have been recently dumped. You had to dump someone else. Maybe you're still in the "no contact" phase after the breakup. Months or years have passed. There is still an ache in your heart for that person. Sometimes it overtakes you ...

Your Ex Is Sending Mixed Signals

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

29 July 2013: Many of us may be in recovery from a recent breakup, or you are several weeks into the no-contact period. You broke up months or years ago. There is this dull pain in the pit of your heart. You're going about your life. You relapse and cry ...

How Does The Dumper Feel After Dumping You?

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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17 July 2013: I was dumped three months ago, not really on bad terms; I just didn't see it coming. I frequently see questions from those dumped; pleading for a way to help the pain to stop. They need comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They feel wretched and ...

I got dumped and I know how to survive a breakup and didn't know I could

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 July 2013: Well, as the story goes; people all over the world in different languages, know how it feels to get dumped. Generally it stinks. In my case; there was a lot of fun. No real arguments, and being two very mature people; we are well-schooled, a...

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I need a kick to end this toxic relationship!

Q.   I am in the worst relationship I have EVER been in. I'm totally miserable and bored to tears when I'm with him. He is rude, selfish, disrespectful to me and woman in general. I'm ashamed to admit I have been with this guy for over six years. He ...

A.   23 February 2017: Toxic-relationships are like taking a drop of cyanide every-other day in your morning juice to see how long it takes to kill you! They erode your self-esteem, make you loose your friends, and estrange you from your family. The horrible kind of... (read in full...)

Should I continue to see this man? He is also my boss. He says he wants to keep his independence, and doesn't want anything serious

Q.   Hi all! I've recently started a new position in my work place and since moving facilities my boss and I have become very close (he is the same age as me 26). It all started with him asking discreet questions about my relationship status,...

A.   22 February 2017: As I know human nature; play with fire and you get burned. As to keeping up your appearances (or covering your tracks) and maintaining professionalism at work; it takes encountering a real challenge before knowing how you'll respond to it. Mill... (read in full...)

Is it up to me to make the first move in this situation? Because I think he thinks, in error, that I'm exclusively gay.

Q.   I sit next to a guy in one of my classes, and I've realised recently that I'm really into him. I work with him on a production and I think it's been coming on for a while, but best of all I get the impression he's into me too. I just have sever...

A.   22 February 2017: You can always ask him in random conversation how he feels about long-distance relationships, and if he thinks he could handle one. Getting his opinion will have a serious impact on whether you should even bother revealing your feelings. I thi... (read in full...)

He looks at naked women online but said he'd leave if I posted nudes of myself!

Q.   I want to post nude pics of myself on an amateur site . It excites me to imagine men getting off to pictures of my naked body . My husband is against it and says he will leave . He looks at other men's wives naked and at porn . Why is it ok for him ...

A.   21 February 2017: You're a married-couple and there should be some boundaries. The issues you are having are not of the usual marital-variety. I know people form their own perceptions of what they consider the ideal-marriage. Tossing old-tradition aside. After tria... (read in full...)

I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but after 3 years I am not sure that I want to be with her

Q.   How can i break up with my girlfriend? Im not sure if i even want to. We have been together for three years. We have been having problems recently. She told me she was not sure where we were going, that we were stuck in the same old patterns doing ...

A.   21 February 2017: I don't know if the crush she mentioned was just to stir-up some jealousy; or give you a nudge to see if she could coax a marriage-proposal and engagement ring out you. All the dramatics seem to lead to this possibility. Why would anyone take a ... (read in full...)

Why do I allow him to treat me like trash, throw me out and then let him back into my life?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate some outside perspective on the situation I'm currently dealing with. I started dating someone last year that I had known for about 10 years though granted we were mostly only acquaintances during that time with limited int...

A.   21 February 2017: Cold-turkey is the only way to break his grip. Stop responding to messages, block his number, and stop offering yourself up to be thrown away. Don't stalk him on social media and go trolling online for his dating profiles. That's so pathetic... (read in full...)

I hope I'm wrong but wonder based on these signs if should I just move on?

Q.   I normally have a really good intuition about relationships and men, but oftentimes ignore it in hopes that I am wrong. I'm sort of hoping that I'm wrong this time around, but I digress. I met with this guy about a month ago. He is older than me...

A.   21 February 2017: I see no red-flags. Red-flags are bad behavior. I see a man who just doesn't seem interested in you romantically. He's not that into you and/or he is emotionally-unavailable. It's a sure sign someone is not into you when they seldom get in-conta... (read in full...)

I don't in the slightest trust this artist who she met for lunch recently . Am I just insecure?

Q.   I am engaged to be married (2nd time for both of us). Because of her work my wife to be has developed many male friends/acquaintances including some who have been keen to take it further than platonic. She presents very innocently of al...

A.   20 February 2017: It is contradictory to say you trust her completely; then say you don't trust him. You obviously don't trust her to have the common-sense or will to handle him, and keep it professional. It's a known fact she has many male acquaintances; and some... (read in full...)

What are the protocols about posting and commenting on the pictures of others on social media? Or am I just being crassly controlling?

Q.   I am coming to social media rather late in life and am confused by the protocols that seem to liberally litter posts with kisses and hearts. So when my girlfriend posts a pic of an event she attended where I wasn't present and someone responds...

A.   20 February 2017: Unfortunately; there are few rules in posting on social media. Generally, if you find something inappropriate or offensive you can delete or hide it. You aren't required to comment or critique each and every pic or posting you receive. That wil... (read in full...)

I fear rejection. Could his actions be a sign that he only wants sex, and nothing more serious ?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for some time now and it has been amazing and I utterly admire him but the thing is I don't know what we are. He is all sweet and kind and all touchy and shows affections when I'm with him even in public, he is very playful,...

A.   20 February 2017: If you can offer a guy your body, you have every right to ask him what his intentions are; and if he wants a commitment. You are offering him everything and he should reciprocate. Your body is not bait, it is a reward. It is offered in exchange... (read in full...)

Should I get back into the dating world, before my youth fades?

Q.   Dear Cupid,I been single for almost going on 16 years. I stopped dating at the age of 32-33. I'm 45 now. My heart has been hurt so bad that I'm in fear of dating again I don't want a repeat of my pass so I just allow my youth to fade away. I ju...

A.   19 February 2017: You can't isolate yourself from the world thinking that will protect you from getting hurt. You're allowing cynicism and trust-issues to rule your life. What have you gained by it? You're lonely. If your brother notices you look mean, that is what... (read in full...)

How can I talk to them about this? What can I do about my boyfriend and my best friend? He hangs out with her when I'm not present

Q.   My best friend and I are very different people and we get on really well, even though I no longer see her very often. We have been friends for years. A year ago I helped her get close to a guy she liked who I liked at the same time. Things did...

A.   19 February 2017: Typos: " both of them if makes you feel uncomfortable" ...it makes you feel uncomfortable "then you maybe you must remove yourself." ...then maybe you must remove yourself Sorry about the typographical errors! You shouldn't put... (read in full...)

How can I talk to them about this? What can I do about my boyfriend and my best friend? He hangs out with her when I'm not present

Q.   My best friend and I are very different people and we get on really well, even though I no longer see her very often. We have been friends for years. A year ago I helped her get close to a guy she liked who I liked at the same time. Things did...

A.   19 February 2017: The friendship between your boyfriend and girlfriend would be fine except for the fact they would hang-out and not tell you; and the fact both used to date. Teenagers are not good at looking at how things appear, and they aren't good at being to... (read in full...)

Should I completely cut him off and just mend my broken heart?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months in a sort-of FWB situaton. We never specifically defined it as FWB, but I did say I wasn't looking for anything serious...Unfortunately I have started to catch feelings for him and it was eating me up ...

A.   19 February 2017: In order to reset or reboot your feelings and emotions; yes, you do have to cut him off completely. He has become somewhat of a habit; and having the temptation constantly in your face will only make you crave. Once you catch feelings in a FWB-si... (read in full...)

Feel like I'm never going to be enough for him. Is my husband gay or just into weird stuff ?

Q.   My husband of 12 years has been web camping girls for 8 years about anal play, pegging and being dominated. I just found out and have taking it hard. He has even had advertisements for meeting girls. He says it because he didn't think I would lo...

A.   18 February 2017: I first want to ask, what is the quality of your marriage to this man apart from his so-called "kinks"? Do you have children? Is he kind to you? Does he treat you with the utmost respect, and make you feel extremely loved and adored? Does he make ... (read in full...)

Why is my friend touching me this way?

Q.   I have a friend whom I know from 2 months and we became close in a very short while... From few weeks he is touching my sides, hips and breast. What does this mean? ...

A.   18 February 2017: It seems as though you may like him, and you were hoping letting him touch you would make him like you more. You must only allow men to treat you respectfully and with tenderness. You don't allow touching until a man has expressed to you that he ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to convey something by winking at me?

Q.   Hello there, My co-worker and I were very good friends at work. We had never gone out together, I felt some subtle hints from him. Then we got into major conflicts, he came by to apologize afterward. After that, I backed off and just be another ...

A.   18 February 2017: Don't read too much into it. Just keep a comfortable professional-distance and that keeps things where they should be. I think he was offering you an olive branch. Nowadays people bring too much of their personal-lives and unprofessional behavior... (read in full...)

Why is my friend touching me this way?

Q.   I have a friend whom I know from 2 months and we became close in a very short while... From few weeks he is touching my sides, hips and breast. What does this mean? ...

A.   18 February 2017: It means he's is groping you, and you're letting him disrespect you. Have you never dated before? Have your parents never told you how a man should treat you? Unless you give him permission, it can be considered sexual-assault. You can't pos... (read in full...)

Help, he dismisses my feelings of rejection and that he's being disloyal!

Q.   I've been with my partner for 3 years now I'm 23 he's 28. We have a 19 month old daughter and lived together almost the whole relationship. Hes never gave me one single compliment but I've got over it thinking he's just not that type of person. But ...

A.   18 February 2017: Oh my gosh! He doesn't work, leaves the house from the time he gets up until the time you go to bed, and he won't care for his own child? You have no marriage, you have a squatter problem. A man who lives in your house, and treats you and his ... (read in full...)

How do I respond when friends query me on this? She uses a picture of herself with my BF as her profile picture on social media

Q.   Hi Everyone, I could use some advice. I am currently contemplating getting back into a relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years. We split for 3 years, and he began dating someone else. They recently had a child together, but are not in a relatio...

A.   17 February 2017: One, he's the father of her child; and therefore has more than just a casual-connection to her. Two, even if no longer in a relationship; pictures left behind with her are hers to use as she pleases. Everyone who knows either of you, knows he... (read in full...)

Is he right to be annoyed? He was asleep, while I watched porn. He said that what I did was a form of cheating

Q.   Okay so My boyfriend always takes the mick out of me that I want sex too much. I do like it every day but I don't think that's a problem.. Anyway, that's not the issue. Last night he fell asleep when he knew I was horny, which isn't reall...

A.   17 February 2017: The use of porn can be debated all day long, and until the next millennium. People don't see eye to eye about it's use; or the morality of it. Opinions abound, but what really matters is how your mate or spouse feels about it? Yes, they do have ... (read in full...)

My family expects me to get married, but I'm more attracted to men and gay marriage isn't an option. How do I convince them I'm not the marrying kind?

Q.   Hi, I'm much more into men physically/sexually speaking. The hitch is that I live in a traditional and homophobic society.My family want me to get married any time soon. How can I "convince" them I'm not the marrying kind, without telling them I'm ...

A.   17 February 2017: Don't delude yourself, if your family is Muslim and traditional; religion is at the root of their concerns. They are frequently asked by neighbors, family, and friends why you're not married. That's why you're being pressured. Unless you are a mo... (read in full...)

How can I stop feeling so very angry with my ex boyfriend? ?

Q.   Hi , I used to be in a relationship with this guy , we started off as being friends he was all pleasant he even sat alone with me to have lunch . But then things started to change, we both developed romantic feelings for each other, we both fel...

A.   17 February 2017: This all boils down to, you were more into him than he was into you. That does not make him a bad guy, just because it didn't work-out between you. What made you decide to stop being just friends? That is the big question? You started off as frien... (read in full...)

My family expects me to get married, but I'm more attracted to men and gay marriage isn't an option. How do I convince them I'm not the marrying kind?

Q.   Hi, I'm much more into men physically/sexually speaking. The hitch is that I live in a traditional and homophobic society.My family want me to get married any time soon. How can I "convince" them I'm not the marrying kind, without telling them I'm ...

A.   17 February 2017: If you live in a nonpracticing Islamic society, then there is flexibility. As long as you live discreetly, that is. You know your parents and their level of tolerance. If you are close and have a tight-nit family; perhaps they will accept that you... (read in full...)

My family expects me to get married, but I'm more attracted to men and gay marriage isn't an option. How do I convince them I'm not the marrying kind?

Q.   Hi, I'm much more into men physically/sexually speaking. The hitch is that I live in a traditional and homophobic society.My family want me to get married any time soon. How can I "convince" them I'm not the marrying kind, without telling them I'm ...

A.   17 February 2017: It's always good to keep your gay-life low-key and very private when living in a homophobic society. If you live in a strict Islamic or sectarian-society; your parents will be very concerned about their own standing in the community, and throughout ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend keeps texting a female co-worker and it's getting inappropriate. Am I overreacting?

Q.   So my boyfriend has a female co-worker. He told me a couple weeks ago that it was pretty obvious to him and a few co-workers that a supervisor was trying to get with this female coworker, let's call her "B". My boyfriend told me that he told B "I ...

A.   17 February 2017: No, I think you might have nipped something at the bud. He's getting friendly, and he wasn't being completely honest about texting her. What business is it of his if a supervisor was being inappropriate? Let her take it to higher manageme... (read in full...)

The woman in my boyfriend's porn collection look nothing like me

Q.   My bf has a lot of porn on his computer of women who all look nothing like me . I am chubby and older and they are invariably young and thin. Now I've read in a lot of places that men will often look at women opposite to what they have at home but ...

A.   16 February 2017: Imaginary and fantasy-creatures never look real. Movie stars and super-models don't look like ordinary-people. They look perfect through surgical-enhancement, makeup artistry, camera-angles, lighting, and photo-shopping. Slutty porn stars don't ... (read in full...)

A straight friend wants to have sex with me. Should I?

Q.   Hi.i have a friend who i would like to have sex with.he is straight i am gay. What should i do?ahead thanks....

A.   16 February 2017: I will attribute your naivete to your youth and inexperience. If your friend is a straight-male, what makes you think he wants to have sex with another man? I think the title was a little misleading by the moderator. You don't indicate in your pos... (read in full...)

I'm crushing on an older female doctor. How do I ask her out?

Q.   I have a huge crush on a medical professional. I want to be as vague as I can be so bare with me. TL;DR I have a crush on my female doctor who's twice my age. How do I ask her out? Should I even do it? She's easily double my age... she's su...

A.   16 February 2017: The problem with crushes is that they are based too much on fantasy and wishful thinking. You are uncertain of your own sexual-orientation, and even less certain of that of the doctor's. You can divulge that the doctor is a cosmetic surgeon,... (read in full...)

Is it a red flag if a woman has been 3 or 4 times and says all the marriages were abusive?

Q.   well asking a question, if a woman, a man started dating, tells you they been married three or four times, is that a big red flag, my own opinion is that they all couldn't be bad,one or two maybe,an if they say all three men were abusive ...

A.   16 February 2017: It might be a warning that she is drawn to men likely to abuse her; and that she may need some serious mental-health therapy. Multiple failed-marriages of and in itself does carry a caveat. It leads to a lot of questions. Why did so many marriage... (read in full...)

My previous teaacher was awesome. I do not like my new teacher, so how can I stay positive in this situation?

Q.   My friends and I have had so many awesome teachers in the last few years, but there is one who stands out in particular. I always learnt best in her classes; she had a tendency to find so many ways to visualize the topic and make even the most ...

A.   15 February 2017: First I want to compliment your writing and good expression. You used excellent spelling and grammar, and paid close-attention to syntax and sentence-structure. This shows that you are a good student. Even when you say you get confused and some ... (read in full...)

I like older guys. He was respectful to me. But then his decision to ejaculate on my face bothered me. Were his actions out of line?

Q.   I'm attracted to older men and that's what I normally date. I met this guy recently. He's 34. After exchanging texts for a while, we went out. It went really well. We had great conversation. There was chemistry between us. It was great all around. I ...

A.   15 February 2017: You don't only need to hear it from women, you need a man's perspective as well. During sex, some actions are a reflex and others are pushing the envelope. If you decide to have sex on the first-date, you are also allowing the guy a wide range of... (read in full...)

Disappointed he couldn't see me Valentine's day. Am I being selfish? Should I try and make things work?

Q.   I'm 38 and have been dating a guy who is 38 as well. Our first date was Nov 5th last year and we've seen each other every weekend since then and sometimes during the week. He is part of a culture that does not honour pagan holidays...and I am fine ...

A.   15 February 2017: Well, if he can't satisfy you in bed; I guess that is something that can be worked on. You have to tell him that you would like oral-sex; and gently guide him to the places that heats you up during love-making. Adjust your body-position, whisper in ... (read in full...)

She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?

Q.   I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...

A.   15 February 2017: Why didn't you sign the card and indicate on the card that it was sent in gratitude???!!! Never-ever send a lady anything without identifying yourself. Of course she's upset, having no clue who sent something to her home without telling ... (read in full...)

Why did she block then unblock me?

Q.   I was friend to girl , i call and propose to that girl in voice call , but she told she was busy and cut off my phone.. then again i propose to that girl in whatsapp message in the same day , but then she block after 2 hour she unblocked me , ...

A.   14 February 2017: Seriously?!! How bland and impersonal, dude?!! My friend, you don't propose to a woman through a message on the phone!!! A proposal of marriage is one of the most emotionally-packed and most wonderful events in a woman's life! She expects you ... (read in full...)

Crazy obsessed women wants my man!

Q.   This lady had sex with my bf. They now share a kid together. She is obsessive over my bf. She is 10-11 years older than us. Recently she has stalked our Instagram a. But she blocked us but only unblocked my bf. I know she still wants my man. But I'm ...

A.   14 February 2017: They share a child! What can you do? I don't get your concern about being blocked by her on social media. Why should you even care? You don't even like her! You kept your boyfriend in spite of his having sex and a child with another woman. S... (read in full...)

Help me deal with my boyfriend always being broke!

Q.   Hello. I have been in a relationship with my lovely boyfriend for 9 months now. In those 9 months we never went on an actual date. He told me that he grew up very poor so money is still a struggle but things are looking up for him and his family. He ...

A.   14 February 2017: He's a student and doesn't have a job. Be reasonable and patient. On the other hand, he could have done some kind of work and earned a few bucks somehow; so his ambition might be a little questionable. If he's presently applying for job... (read in full...)

Is this sensitivity normal?

Q.   We had sex which was great. But he hadn't had sex for a year and his penis was ultra sensitive even for me to touch. I wanted to pull and squeeze his penis, I wanted to give him oral, but he stopped me, saying his penis is too sensitive? Is this ...

A.   14 February 2017: Some guys are ticklish or extra-sensitive, yes. He may have been concerned about premature-ejaculation. You don't say how long this has been the case between you two. I assume you had sex for the first time? Seems he may have done a lot of ... (read in full...)

How do I not worry that my girlfriend will chose the easy way out when returning home?

Q.   We're currently long distance and have been together for 6 months. We met in his home country but unfortunately my girlfriend has to move back to her home country. After we met, I have been studying overseas. We're very serious about each other. We ...

A.   14 February 2017: The fear of competition is a constant in a relationship. You have to rely on trust to get through it. Trust must be given if you want it to work; but it has to be earned to be justified. You should openly express any discomfort you have about th... (read in full...)

Anxiety from a previous relationship stops me moving forward!

Q.   I like a guy but ever since i realised i like him I'm just stuck in this vortex of anxiety and fear. We went out on a date and it was fantastic but I'm feeling even more unsure of myself. I had a previous relationship where everything was going ...

A.   14 February 2017: If you haven't gotten over the trauma of the last relationship; maybe you're really not ready for another one. You have to be tough enough to take a tumble, some heartbreak, and spring back-up. You also have to learn not to emerge yourself... (read in full...)

She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?

Q.   I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...

A.   24 January 2017: It does matter what your intentions are. If you have feelings for her, then be sure to follow-up with the words to let her know. Also be prepared for the reaction you receive, just in-case she's doesn't feel the same. You have a good heart all the ... (read in full...)

She has helped me a lot through some difficult times. Would it be acceptable to send her flowers as a thank you?

Q.   I have a female friend who I have known since I was 4, she is the same age as me and although we lost contact for a number of years. We are back in contact. Whenever I had problems she always knew what to say and since being back in touch she has...

A.   24 January 2017: Valentines Day is a romantic Holiday. If you have no romantic-intention, send the flowers as soon as possible. I want to be honest with you. I think this is another subtle suggestion that you have secret attraction for the lady; and I really d... (read in full...)

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