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*ina_101

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19 year old female living in London England.

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How do I stop being afraid to date someone?

Q.   i am afraid to date girl, and when i see them i am afraid, tell me what to do and how to date the one i love....

A.   5 December 2006: How old are you first of all? When did this problem start? What do you think has caused you to fear women? More info plz. :)... (read in full...)

How can we stop bumping heads?

Q.   i have been with this beautiful girl for a year. she listen to me, shes kind, her family likes me, we have a great sex life , shes funny but we constantly bump heads. Shes very emotional and sensitive, its hard not making her sad, i really try but ...

A.   5 December 2006: If you think you are ready to leave the relationship, if you are not happy in the relationship, if you have tried to right the wrongs in the relationship and it has not worked...then by all means leave.If you can't get along and if you've tried to ... (read in full...)

She says she is fearful to continue this relationship because I don't own my own house.

Q.   I have been dating this girl for a couple of months and things have progressed very slowly (which is fine) She is pretty shy so I never pushed her outside of her "comfort zone" until tonight. Some years ago I went through a divorce which left me ...

A.   5 December 2006: If this woman really liked you it wouldn't matter if you had a house of your own or not. She should've been more understanding of your situation. If you have explained to her exactly why you do not have a house right now, then I think a reasonable ... (read in full...)

She drastically changed after marriage and has become excessively possissive! What can I do?

Q.   I have been involeved in a relation since last 4 years and got married about six months ago. Though we had some turbulance in the beginning of our relationship, gradually everything settled down and we got married. But everything has changed since ...

A.   4 December 2006: Communication is the best way I think. How is she to know how you are feeling if you do not tell her? If you have a problem you must speak up about it. Don't just let it slide to avoid an argument. The problem will arise again and get worse if you ... (read in full...)

I'm very self conscious about dancing... help!

Q.   Hi- I have an important question that could really change where my life is going, but it is pretty embarassing and I don't think most people will understand. I am super self-conscious about dancing, and every time I go to a school dance (only a few ...

A.   4 December 2006: Put on some of your favourite music, lock your bedroom door so no one can bust in on you and practice in the mirror and see for yourself what looks cool and what doesn't. Or copy what you see in music videos and practice in front of the mirror in ... (read in full...)

In in love with four of my cousins! What do I do about my feelings?

Q.   what do i do? i feel like im in love with my 16yr old cousin i just want to hug her and hold her and talk. but every time i see her i just like get shy and horny. i feel the same about 3 outher cousins. what do i do about my feelings?...

A.   4 December 2006: You need to go out and meet girls who are not your cousins. Expand your circle of friends and get to know other girls. Get you mind off your cousins. Stay away from them before they get totally creeped out by you. Keep yourself busy and soon these ... (read in full...)

Some guys say I'm hot... Some say I'm ugly... Why?

Q.   Hey, I'm a 13 year old girl. Some guys think I'm really hot, some think i'm really ugly or don' even notice me. How is this possible? I'm not a thin girl. I'm 5'4 and i weight 129 lbs. My measurements are 34-24-37 I'm just really curious,...

A.   30 November 2006: At thirteen you shouldn't really be worrying about what guys think of you and so forth. You're still young and there is plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing. You don't need a guy to tell you that you are pretty. You should know that ... (read in full...)

How can you tell if you guy is lying to you?

Q.   How can you tell if you guy is lying to you ? ...

A.   28 November 2006: Lack of direct eye contact.Looking to the side, looking on the floor. Lot's of umming and aahing. Stories that don't make sense. Y'know the ones that just don't add up. Scratching or stroking the back of his head.Body language. Stammering. Long ... (read in full...)

The lover I cheated with..owes me money and won't pay me back! Should I let this go or insist on it?

Q.   Hi there, I have recently broke off an affair, and the guy that I have been involved with has intially agreed to return the cash he owes me. Now that the time has come to pay me, he has changed his mind. I find this very annoying and mad...

A.   28 November 2006: It depends how much money you lent him. If it's relatively not a large amount then maybe you should let it go. For the sake of your marrige. Just incase he decides to go tell your husband. There's not a lot you can do really. You've tried ... (read in full...)

Before me, my wife had a real 'wild' past..trying to deal with it. Any advice?

Q.   We hear all this about men having chequered pasts as in 100 women , But I have the reverrse I am married to a woman who came clean and admitted to having sex with 16 different men most of the time these liasons were adulterous, some were one night ...

A.   28 November 2006: "Wild past". Key word there: PAST. So she's a 'liberated woman'. No one is perfect and you may not like what she has done in the past but she's not doing any of that stuff now, right? She's with you now. What do you achieve by arguing about things ... (read in full...)

He liked me, found out I liked him, and is now avoiding me!

Q.   hey all cupids, i don't know if any of you will remember but im the girl that put a post on here a few weeks ago about the boy that was being nasty to me then nice . you lot told me that he liked me which i later found out he did. he recently found ...

A.   28 November 2006: Like Shadypop said, don't run after him. You have your life to live and it doesn't revolve around him. He should be the one to approach you. I don't know why he is avoiding you now if he likes you. He needs to sort himself out. So give him time and ... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend starting fight's so she can move out on me?

Q.   is my girlfriend starting fight's so she can move out on me? when my girl get's drunk she just act's so werld. Saturday Night she had a short skirt on and she sat on the kitchen side in front of my brother i told her to watch her skirt she said "...

A.   24 November 2006: If you are not sure about something you have the right to ask and your girlfriend shouldn't have reacted like that. Approach her one day when she is calm (not drunk) and sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her what's on your mind and ask her if ... (read in full...)

He's not my ethnicity..and my parents want me to break up with him!

Q.   i am 16 and in love with this one nice guy...we have been dating for half a year now..he is everything to me and we love each other really much but the thing is that my parents do not like him because he is not my ethnicity..my parents are really ...

A.   24 November 2006: For a simple life, find another guy who is from your own ethnic group. Your parents are set in their ways and I don't think there is any convincing them. Inter-racial relationships can work but truth is...it's a lot of effort.Are you prepared to m... (read in full...)

Too many bf's in my life! Everything is going wrong and I need advice!

Q.   I have loads of problems with relationships at the moment. I broke up with my boyf about a month ago and then went out with this other lad who is really sweet. That didn't work out so we broke up but about a week ago this other lad at my school ...

A.   22 November 2006: Decide who you want to be with. When you decide end things with the others guys. Set that guy straight if he thinks you like him. Tell him you don't like him in that way and he was misinformed. In the future end something before you start some... (read in full...)

Did I do the right thing...making him burn a note... from someone long before I came along.

Q.   Ok, I was sleeping over at my boyfriends house, and everything was going great, until I found this little dusty note above his computer. It was from 5 years ago and he warned me not to look at it, but I did anyways...I got really upset about it, and ...

A.   21 November 2006: I know it hurts but you have to face the reality that there were other lovers in his life. You have to accept it. I know you probably had lovers before him. He hasn't done anything wrong by keeping the love note. That note was part of his life. You ... (read in full...)

He hasn't texted me today and this is unusual! Should I worry?

Q.   hey people My bf is away at the moment and although i find that hard to cope with whats killing me at the min is that i havent heard from him today I know what your thinking One day big deal but i always usually hear from him and its te...

A.   21 November 2006: It's not a big deal that he hasn't texted you YET! Relax, chill out and calm down girl. Why does a mesely text message cause you to have a panic attack...geez. He will call you later ok? He's probably just busy or something. Don't panic! It'll be f... (read in full...)

He flirts with my friends, just to see my reaction!

Q.   I met a boy and I started to like him a lot. He makes me feel like he likes me too, but at the moment when we go out in groups he likes to pretend he is flirting with my friend to see my reaction, and of course it bothers me. What should I do?...

A.   21 November 2006: Tell him you don't like it when he flirts with other girls. If he really likes you and cares about how you feel then he will stop. If he still continues then it would be wise to find someone who cares about your feelings. Dump him if he continues to ... (read in full...)

He lies to me, even about things that don't matter...

Q.   Hi there, I am having this problem with lying. My boyfriend lies to me all the time, sometimes 3 times a day, and it is about small things that don't matter. It is annoying and makes me feel he is taking me for a fool and it feels like he would lie ...

A.   20 November 2006: Dito. Dump his ass. Waste no more time.Kick him to the curb. Lies lies and more lies...you don't need it so loose him. End of.... (read in full...)

She needs space to 'miss' me?? Does she not love me anymore?

Q.   My Girlfriend Need Space To Herself To Miss Me What does this mean? does she not love me no more?...

A.   16 November 2006: Yeah I think she still does love you but maybe you guys have beeen spending a bit too much time together lately and she just wants some 'me time' to herself. It's not because she's gone off you or anything. She probably still appreciates you and ... (read in full...)

I am dating an older man but am scared to tell my parents!

Q.   I'm trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I am dating an older man. I love him with all my heart and know that he is the love of my life. He is close to the age of my parents and we started going out about a month after my 18th birthday ...

A.   16 November 2006: First of all I do not agree with the answer given below. Approach your parents one day when they are not busy and when they are in a fairly good mood. Find the right time and ask them to sit down with you because you have something to tell them. Do ... (read in full...)

I've been deleting her messages without telling him. Is this right or wrong?

Q.   I've been living with this great guy now for about a year. We met 2 years after he went through a horrible break up with a woman who completely devastated him, both financially and emotionally. The thing is, she's been calling our house lately and ...

A.   9 November 2006: I understnd why you deleted her messages and you're right, she has no business contacting him, I would probably delete her messages too if it was me but...truth is, if you feel you have to delete messages and hide things from him to keep your ... (read in full...)

His girlfriend hates me because he flirts with me.....

Q.   there is a lad who likes has a gf and he flirts wiv everyone the thing is his gf hates me for it so what can i do? wb xxxx...

A.   9 November 2006: Keep your distance from him and don't flirt back. If it's really getting to be a big problem then explain to him that you do not feel comfortable when he flirts with you and ask him to stop. Keep your distance from his girlfriend too since she ... (read in full...)

I don't want to date my sugar daddy, but i want him to keep buying me stuff!

Q.   I'm 18 and a student at a university. One of my teacher's assistants is this guy Paul. One night I went out with Paul for drinks and his friend Jimmy came along. Jimmy paid for all my drinks, and even though I wasn't attracted to him, I let him. ...

A.   8 November 2006: Sorry if this is a bit harsh but the tuth has to be said. Or at least the truth how I see it. Here goes: Stop denying it. You ARE a gold digger. What you are doing is wrong. You are using this man. Don't you have a conscience? You have insulted him ... (read in full...)

I'm worried because I did bad things as an adolescent!

Q.   i am 19 year old and some wrong work in adolscence life and i am very worried. if you do not understand my problem then i explain later. ...

A.   6 November 2006: More information is needed.Explaining later (as you said)would be a good idea.And it would have made more sense to explain it fully in the first place instead of posting this but...in your own time.There's no rush. :)... (read in full...)

Brotherly love

Q.   I have been involved in a sexual relationship with my younger brother for nearly twenty years now. We first had sex when he was twelve and I sixteen. I became pregnant with his child and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Unsure as to what I should ...

A.   31 October 2006: Is this for real? OR have you posted this to see people's reactions? Oh my God. I can't believe this! Are you serious? HOW? WHY? How did your parents raise you? What kind of values did they teach you? I'm not trying to be rude I'm just trying to ... (read in full...)

I'm black..he's white and we are friends! Should I tell him I want to date him?

Q.   Ok so I've known this guy for a while and we talk on the phone alomst all day/every day and I've hung out with him with my friends a couple of times. He's always nice to me and we get along great, but I'm afraid he'll never acutally like me the way ...

A.   31 October 2006: Make sure you like this guy for more than the fact that he is white. Why are you doubting your attractiveness and why are you comparing yourself to ohter people? Do you have a low self confidence? I hope not. Anyway moving on...Tell him you like him... (read in full...)

He had sex with me and when I went to a party..there he was kissing a girl in front of me! What can I do to make him want only me?

Q.   what shoudl i do? i've been going out with a guy for about 6 months, we're not oficially dating, but kind of, the thing is that we broke up because he was not ready for a serious relationship, the worst excuse,, i know but every time we meet (on...

A.   17 October 2006: "What can I do so he only wants me?" That question shouldn't have even entered into your mind. He kissed another girl infront of you!!! He clearly doesn't care about you or your feelings so I say stop caring about him. Don't pursue a guy like this. ... (read in full...)

I'm 21-she's 13. I fallen in love with her and I think she likes me. She's self-harming to get my attention! What should I do?

Q.   Hi, I’m a 21 year old lad who has fallen deeply in love with a 13 year old girl! I asked for advice on here a couple of months ago, read what people said and tried it but with no success and now the situation has got worse! Some people sa...

A.   17 October 2006: Show this girl that you love her. The age gap isn't ideal and is somewhat questionable but the main issue is that you need help with the self harming and suicide. From what I've seen from some of (not all) the other responses is that they focus on ... (read in full...)

We are good friends but lately she is ignoring me and I am hurt! What should I do about this?

Q.   i have a very close female friend who has a 8months boyfriend. she was really upset 2weeks ago because of her boyfriend. i was always there for her when she cried comforting her. she is fine and happy now. but she hasn't talked to me for 1 week now. ...

A.   17 October 2006: During one of your chats mention to her how you are feeling. Ask her why she's being offish with you. Maybe there's a good reason, you never know until you ask. So bear that in mind when you ask her. You might make things worse by asking her when ... (read in full...)

What do you say if a guy calls you a hottie?

Q.   if i guy tells you your hot! whats the best way to compliment him back? ...

A.   16 October 2006: Response: "Thanks. I would say the same about you but saying you're hot would be an understatement."... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for me to get turned on by what my girl did with her exes?

Q.   I have very good sex with my girlfrined however sometimes I ask her to tell me what she did with her ex-boyfriends or one nights stands in the past. sounds daft but I get aroused by this, almost like hearing a dirty story..however it involves ...

A.   16 October 2006: LoL Martini!!! One sentence: if it turns you on then ain't nothin' wrong. If it works for you then that's great. It is kinda weird though but...everyone's different.... (read in full...)

Should I call him or wait for him to chase me??

Q.   Ok I meet this guy at a party sat. night.I thought he was pritty hot and he was nice.Also he knew my cuz so I thought that is a pluse.so I got pritty messed up, and slept with him.What am I crazy I dont even know the guy.well I thought maby we can ...

A.   16 October 2006: Well first of all sleeping with the guy after just meeting him wasn't a great idea and I'm glad you know that. We all do crazy things sometimes and get caught up in the moment. But the thing is... having sex with him that night has jeprodised your ... (read in full...)

Am I just needy or is it a result of bad past experiences??

Q.   It seems that with every boyfriend I have that after the first week or so I start to get the feeling that I'm being neglected or that he doesn't like me enough unless he is showing me affection all the time he is with me. I don't like this feeling ...

A.   16 October 2006: Wow. I am going through the same thing as you right now. And yeah it is as a result of bad experiences. Those bad experiences have now given you a constant need for a lot of love and reassurance. In terms of the reasons behind it: It is probably ... (read in full...)

How do i convince my bf to get a herpes test? When I bring up the subjest he goes all quiet...why??

Q.   Hi--how do i convince my bf to get a herpes test?i brought up the subject calmly last night to him and said since his schedule at work changed he could finally get a test (we have been trying to get an appointment for a long time but his work always ...

A.   13 October 2006: If you've already talked to him about it and he refuses... then there's not a lot you can do. You can take the horse to the water but you can't force it to drink. I'm surprised though even after you reassured him of what would happen if he did have ... (read in full...)

I love somebody....but they refuse to speak to me!!

Q.   I love somebody. . . but they refuse to speak to me, how can i tell them how i feel if they wont even look at me?...

A.   13 October 2006: We'd all love to help you but what we really need is more information so we can give you advise that is more relevant to you. But anywho..are you sure you're in love with this guy? Maybe you're infatuated? How well do you know him? How long have you ... (read in full...)

Why does he think it's embarrassing that I like him??

Q.   hi. there is this guy in college we are on the same course and in the same tutor group, he is 17 and im 21, and thats not much of an age gap - its 4 years. but the thing is he knows half the people round my street, who i know to and he is mates wi...

A.   13 October 2006: He's probably just flattered. He's probably thinking, "aww shucks. lil' ole me?" I wouln't think anything of it. Perhaps it would've been best if you told him you liked him yourself rather than him finding out from other people. But... what's done ... (read in full...)

How do I know if a guy isn't going to use me?

Q.   How do I know if a guy isn't going to use me? I'm a virgin (18) and I'll save you the whole male/daddy issues I've got, but practially I've been in several relationships where the guy has had to break up or I've broken up becuase I just can't trust ...

A.   12 October 2006: I'm like you I don't like talking to people about my problems either so it's great that we've got the internet and I myself have felt exactly how you feel so I know where you're coming from. Anyway my advise to you would be to try and let go of your ... (read in full...)

I really like this guy, but he smokes. It's like kissing an ashtray. Please help!

Q.   well hi can someone help me!well i like my best friend,laci's,cousin and he is my friend to.but he asked me if i wanted a cigerette and i said no cuz i know thats wrong(hes only 11 and i'm 12)but i really do like him and i want him to stop but i ...

A.   10 October 2006: Well first of all both of you are too young to be smoking. It's illegal. Where is he getting the cigarettes from?Don't let him be a bad influence onto you. Ask him not to smoke around you. Or tell him if he's going to smoke he better not expect you ... (read in full...)

Do I just let him go or do I remain his friend and try to be there for him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. I met him when I was in Boone where I went to college and I got a good job so I decided to move there after I graduated in May. Things were amazing between us, except he complained about ...

A.   10 October 2006: Basically you need to talk to him about the whole thing. Tell him what you've just said now and see where it goes from there. He is clearly stringing you along and it's not fair on you. I understand that he is your friend and you still care about ... (read in full...)

I am getting confusing signals. Is he serious about me or is he playing head games?

Q.   i am getting confusing signals from i guy i like.he knows i like him but he hasent told me if he likes me.here are some of the things he said and done.1.he is always touching my bottom.2.he makes a lot of eye contact.3.i have caught him staring at ...

A.   10 October 2006: He probably does like you but enjoys having your attention. Treat em' mean keep em' keen. If I were you I'd just go and ask him. Don't beat around the bush. Just get on with it. Ask him if he likes you. Go for it. You'll no longer be confused once ... (read in full...)

This guy wants me to work off my debt with sex. Why am I allowing this?

Q.   **Hey Cupid's** Am I slut? I don't want to think I am. I can justify myself. There is this guy who has lust me for quiet a while, at least 2 years. He's been very close to me, friend wise. I have told him everything and I confide in him. At the m...

A.   9 October 2006: Don't do it. Don't sleep with him for money. You are worth more than that. No amount of money should be worth you body. Any guy who suggests to you that you have to sleep with him for money does not deserve your time. I would suggest that you keep ... (read in full...)

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