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... Send *ncle Trev a private message | | | *ncle Trev's profile:I am a private teacher and a composer, living in the South West UK. I have a number of students at all ages and always listen to what they have to say. I have had a lot of experiences in life and am hopefully able to pass these onto others in a relatively unbiased way.
I have several hobbies which include, music, vegetarian cookery, snooker, photography, art, drama, and travelling. I have a strong sense of what I believe to be right and wrong and am a comfirmed agnostic. I am very liberal minded and can sometimes be too frank for my own good.
Out of all the Agony Aunts and Agony Uncles in the world my idols include Claire Raynor, Maury Povich and especially Jeremy Kyle as he is from my neck of the woods and is also a fellow West Ham United supporter.
I also am a lover of nature and a lover of the principles of nature and believe we should always let nature take her place and go with it.
If my opinion can help in any way then it makes efforts in here very worthwhile. |
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My ex assulted me. How do I move on from this?
Q. hi there my ex partner assulted me 2 weeks ago and when i mean assulted he has been admitted to crown court for abh charges. its just that i feel like he is haunting me, he has already put me on that many sites and filled in profiles on me. im on s...
A. 29 September 2007: You say he is putting your details on these sites.
Print them off and collect them - they are evidence - I would even go as far as collecting any replies they attract too.
This guy sounds seriously disturbed and the more evidence that ca... (read in full...)
Shall I plan a romantic night to mend our rocky relationship?
Q. if our relationship is a little rocky do you think letting my mom watch my son and planning a romantic night is a bad idea ?? ...
A. 29 September 2007: Sounds like a good idea to me.... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriends mum limit us seeing each other to weekends only?
Q. My girlfriend's Mom is so over protective but she does give me the chance to date her but every time i speak to my girlfriend she tells me upsetting news about her mother, for example she has been cleaning the house all day and everyone just happens ...
A. 29 September 2007: Is your girlfriend still in study? - If she is I could understand her mothers concern making sure that the firl has time to put her study first and you second. If not - isn't your girlfriend at work - if so isn't she earning a weekly wage and ... (read in full...)
Can aids be passed on through my mouth?
Q. Stupid question, Can you get aids from kissing and getting blow jobs, and from someone swallowing your cum?...
A. 26 September 2007: I can imagine that there is more of a chance of the person giving the blow job to an hiv sufferer receiving it but not the other way around - it needs to pass either in blood or semen direct from the infected body to the uninfected one.... (read in full...)
Do I go back to my abusive, alcoholic husband or stay away?
Q. I've been seeking advise as to how I should handle my situation. My husband is an alcoholic and over the past two years has become verbally and physically abusive, not to mention controlling. The majority of advice I have received is to leave him ...
A. 26 September 2007: The funny thing here is now there is a good chance he will go to jail where he will obviously go without alcahol - he has got to go cold turkey and so wants you to hang about for him whilst he is there.
For god's sake ditch this loser, not only... (read in full...)
My friend has just had a baby who might not make it. How can I comfort her and tell her I'm here for her?
Q. My co-worker friend just had a baby 3 months early and nobody knows if he is going to pull through. I messaged her through our company email (she just moved, so this is the only way I could contact her; don't know her new contact info!) letting her ...
A. 26 September 2007: Having been in your friends position for the first six weeks of my daughters life when she was on life support in a special care unit I can only tell you what would have been the best thing friends could have done for me.
Let her know you are ther... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got really agressive after a fight we had beacuse he was jealous and hit me....
Q. My boyfriend got really agressive after a fight we had beacuse he was jealous and hit me. I couldn't fight back because he was too strong. What should I do now? He has apologised but I'm not convinced!...
A. 26 September 2007: Anybody who does this does not deserve to be in a relationship with you, it is as simple as that.
Dump Him Now.
There is no excuse for a guy who does something as cowardly as this unless you attacked him and he was responding in self defence.... (read in full...)
I'm over 18 but I'm worried about dateing my teacher who's 4 yeasr older. Could he get in trouble?
Q. I need some advice please guys. I'm 19 and my math teacher was 21 and straight out of uni when he started at my college when I was 17. He has taught me for all of my four double math lessons most days for the past two years. He is and was single w...
A. 25 September 2007: You are always better off telling them straight. They may already suspect that something is going on anyway as you are suddenly not there. Just explain to them that love can hit anybody at any time and as for you it hit you and the teacher at the ... (read in full...)
How can I figure out if my feelings for my cousin are love?
Q. My cousin (18) and I (17) have always had this very strange connection. I don't know if you would call it love, but we just have this amazing relationship. Ever since we were kids, we have always been best buds. Whenever we would get into a fight ...
A. 25 September 2007: I will back what an anonymous answerer has put here that it is perfectly legal in the UK for 1st cousins to marry.
Even if the cousins are a result of two sisters marrying two guys that are brothers. In this case the offspring can share th... (read in full...)
My bf beat me up, now he wants to talk about it and it's making me uncomfortable! Am I reacting how I should?
Q. a while back my boyfriend beat the crap out of me, like literally. i don't even want to talk about it. and for some silly reason i decided to stay with him. now he's getting into the wanting to talk about it phase and the other night he was like "ho...
A. 24 September 2007: What are you still doing with him.
If he has been this brutal towards you there is no way you should still be with this control freak.
Staying with him isn't silly - it is stupid. It is a deathwish you are putting on yourself - get o... (read in full...)
He broke up with me b/c of his family - now I want to make his weekend as miserable as possible!
Q. this is the third time that i have been to this site to ask for help in the last two weeks. i am in my sixtes and my so called bf is in his late sixties. it involves a very emeshed and fused together family.we have been dating for almost 3 years ...
A. 24 September 2007: There is a chineese proverb I wonder if you know about - it goes like this:-
An eye for an eye leaves two blind people.
Either go down and ruin his weekend like some spoiled brat or instead try doing the grown up adult thing and walk away fr... (read in full...)
He loves to give me Oral, but I worried I'll squirt on him!!
Q. hi when i have sex with my boyfriend, he always wants to lick me and kiss me on my vagina. but i get so wet i get embarrased that i will cum on him as sometimes it squirts out. Any advice?...
A. 24 September 2007: I cannot imagine any bloke having a problem with this. There are a lot of women out there that fake orgasms and some of them manage to do it so well it is virtually impossible for us guys to find out. If you squirt there is no way on earth that ... (read in full...)
I'm worried if I have a baby it will be ugly, because my boyfriend has been referred to as an ape.
Q. Ok this is quite possibly the most shallow question you will ever come across... but here goes. I am seeing my boyfriend 3 years now and I love him more than anything, we are in a very commited relationship and he treats me very very well, and v...
A. 23 September 2007: I know some very un-attractive looking parents that have some great looking kids and some incredibly attractive couples that have kids that you could nicely put as aesthetically challenged.
You cannot predict how your and his genes will react in... (read in full...)
How do I act confident without coming off as arrogant?
Q. How do I act confident without coming off as arrogant? Don't get me wrong, I don't try to come off as arrogant, but when I'm with women I tend to come off as arrogant, abnoxious, and a bit stuck up. Which basically makes me look like a complete ...
A. 23 September 2007: Confidence is a good thing - where I see it at it's best though is where it is accompanied with humbleness.
Confidence is feeling good about yourself and in a positive sense and a humble sense it is also about seeing good in others too.
Arr... (read in full...)
Is it possible to fall in love over the phone?
Q. hi...i wanted to know, is it possible to fall in love over the phone? i've met him once before (he's a friends relative) when he came to visit and i liked him then, then a couple of years later we bagan talking over the phone for up to 4 or 5 hours ...
A. 23 September 2007: I know somebody who fell in love with sombody else over the telephone so yes I have to admit that it is possible.
Without seeing the person you get to know more of the personality and so get to know more about the inside of a person as opposed ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to have sex with many women? And I'd rather choose women I know over a model, why?
Q. It seems I want to have sex with many of my friends wives, my coworkers, my sister inlaw, my wifes best friend, even women who are just friends of mine are on my list. It seems just about every woman I know faily well, I want to have sex with. I ...
A. 23 September 2007: My first concern here is for your wife - does she know about these feelings you have for some of her relatives?
There is a reason that you are attracted to people you know as opposed to supermodels and it is a simple one if you really think ab... (read in full...)
We ended up cuddling while seeing the movie, now I'm hiding on msn and feel shy about talking to her.
Q. im a 14 year old guy.I went to the cinema earlier with my friends, and a girl i liked went too. I sat next to her, and as the film went on, we ended up holding hands and cuddling. She's on msn right now ( mine is set to appear-offline) , and i'm ...
A. 23 September 2007: Turn your msn online now - get chatting again and go for the follow up.
If you remain offline you have NO chance, if you go on and talk to her you have a good chance by the sound of it. The worse she can say is no which admitted would not be n... (read in full...)
How can my bf and I get our own place? I'm under 18 and he's jobless...
Q. How can my bf and I get our own place? We want a flat desperately as he's homeless (he's been secretly living in my bedroom for 3 months) and I'm going crazy in my house as my relationship with my mum is dire. At the beginning of September my Mum ...
A. 23 September 2007: Looks like this bloke is using you like he seems to be using everybody else.
If he doesn't love you enough to get off his backside and get a job, even if it is nothing regular there are people looking for casual labour all over the place no... (read in full...)
I don't like other people looking at my gf.
Q. Hi There, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year, and I have somewhat of a problem, I don't like other people looking at her and when I say this I mean for example she went to get fitted for a dress and had to stand in her bra and ...
A. 23 September 2007: If she is an attractive girl that chooses to wear revealing or tight clothing it is only natural that people are going to look at her. She may well enjoy the attention it creates. If you are mature enough to get involved in a relationship wit... (read in full...)
If I could I'd express my love to him now, but 14-15 is a bit young to lose my virginity, is it not?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are soo in love, we've been together for almost a year [11 months and 22 days] And we've discussed having sex for the past few months, i am not pressured at all and we're very matture about the subject. We've discussed contrcep...
A. 22 September 2007: If you commit to a sexual relationship before the age of 16 you are breaking the law. It is considered rape - even if you instigate it and want to do it. If you practice intercourse he could end up in a lot of trouble including a criminal record ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me when drunk, she doesn't know I know. She says I'd have to get used to her, because that's the way she is.
Q. hi im have a problem with my girlfreind in that she drinks a lot of alchohol and even drinks in the morning on vodka, she smokes,does canabis, and will out drink most men!, and has cheated on me when drunk although she doesnt know i know. but she ...
A. 22 September 2007: You are not going to change her because she does not want to change.
If you want to stay with her you have to basically put up with her ways. She is not willing to change which makes me wonder how much she loves you - I would have thought ... (read in full...)
I told him about a rape fantasy I had which he said he liked, but he wanted something darker/dirtier.
Q. I feel somewhat embarrased to write this but from reading some of the responses, perhaps someone can help me. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now and we're both pretty sexual people and into various aspects of BDSM. ...
A. 22 September 2007: Sounds like you are both an adventurous couple and as for the BDSM it is kinky and great fun providing you are both into it together.
There is nothing wrong with going darker providing you adopt the safe-word rule. (Having a word complete... (read in full...)
Are we compatible?
Q. He was born May 4th 1961. I was born on April 30th 1959. Could we be together?...
A. 22 September 2007: If this is the way you choose a relationship - you may as well as toss a coin for it.
Heads - Marry Him.
Tails - Blow him out.
Now doesn't that sound ridiculous. Almost as rediculous as comparing birthdays. If you like each other then go ... (read in full...)
I just have something to say to my fellow agony aunts!...
Q. this is not a question as such. i would just like to say that i don't understand why people seek advice and then become completely arrogant when you say something they dislike. in their head they have the answer they want and therefore ask a ...
A. 22 September 2007: When somebody writes a question here they are seeking others opinions to see if what they are thinking is the norm, and to hopefully read and pick up any thoughts they may not have thought about before.
I know that when I reply I try to write wh... (read in full...)
I worry that I never give myself completely in a relationship, after disappointments in the past. Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. I worry that I never give myself completely in a relationship. Ever since I was a young woman, and got my heart dashed by my first love, I have never allowed myself to be so in love with anyone else. I always keep back some reserves, some dist...
A. 22 September 2007: What a tough predicament you are in. It seems that this is a once bitten twice shy scenario and your attempt at distance as you say is one of sheer self preservation.
I have not been in this scenario much myself but have been in a parallel... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 22 September 2007: Well done Cathy,
In doing this you have shown yourself to be a very brave and very inspirational to other woman that may be suffering out there.
This decision has been a very tough one for you and one that many women do not strike up enough... (read in full...)
My brother had an operation that left him disfigured. What can I do/say to help him?
Q. My brother had an operation on his nose to remove a small tumour from one side. It has left him disfigured. In order to patch up the hole the Surgeon not only took a bit of skin from his ear, but stretched the skin over from the other side of the ...
A. 22 September 2007: I can guarantee by what you have said here that the main contributor to your brother's ugliness is his own opinion of himself. He can choose to look at the NHS in two ways either the present way where he referrs to their buchery or how about get... (read in full...)
I'm wondering why men like sex so much more when the woman has stockings and heels on? Opinions please..
Q. I have a question for the guys out there. Ladies feel free to give your input too. I am just wondering why my husband like sex so much more when I am wearing stockings and heels during sex? Sometimes I feel like a whore because of wearing them dur...
A. 22 September 2007: Throughout history women have used high heeled shoes to aid their figures. By standing up comfortably in a pair of high heels the butt naturally gets pushed out further behind and consequently the breasts get pushed further forward therefore making ... (read in full...)
I like this girl but I made the mistake of sleeping with the village bike! Now the girl I like hates me! What can I do?
Q. there's this girl that i have liked for a while lets call her "jane smith",a little while ago i tried to ask her out but it didn't turn out so well... anyways a couple of months went by and since i was sure i had no chance i started looking at other ...
A. 22 September 2007: It looks like you may have blown it although I can think of one thing you could say that might get her on side but you will have to work things slowly with her over a long time and be very patient. If you were to say to her that the only reason ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 21 September 2007: GET OUT OF THIS SO CALLED RELATIONSHIP NOW.
This man has become a dangerous monster and as you submit more, he gains more and more control.
You and you child need to get to a womans refuge NOW and you need to bring charges of GBH, ABH and Ass... (read in full...)
How come some guys semen is whiter than others?
Q. how come some boys seaman is whiter than other boys?...
A. 21 September 2007: I know that diet can change the density of the stuff and some semen that is more trasnsparent may appear to be a differant colour.
Also the amount of time between ejaculations can contribute to the amount produced and density, as can the size and... (read in full...)
Our 16 yr old son wants to become a male stripper when he leaves school. How can I get him to aspire to something else?
Q. Recently I got a phone call off my 16-year-old son's teacher saying that "your son is showing very little interest in his work at school and the only thing he's interested in is becoming a male stripper. The careers advisor told me this. We've also ...
A. 21 September 2007: Hi Mark,
I can understand your concern, having a son who is also in year eleven I know that this is an important year. All my son wantys to do is play Jazz on his Trumpet and likewise his results show nothing promising away from his Music. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling guilty for leaving a violent alcoholic husband?
Q. I have made the decision to separate from my husband after repeted attempts of leaving him and returning again within a week or two with the hopes that he was ready to get help as he's promised. He is an alcoholic and for the past two years he's ...
A. 21 September 2007: Why feel guilty - you have not left him for another.
He has left you for the bottle.
You gave him an ultimatum "Me or the Bottle" -
For the time being he has told you "The Bottle".
As for helping him to give up - you cannot. He can... (read in full...)
I'm over 18 but I'm worried about dateing my teacher who's 4 yeasr older. Could he get in trouble?
Q. I need some advice please guys. I'm 19 and my math teacher was 21 and straight out of uni when he started at my college when I was 17. He has taught me for all of my four double math lessons most days for the past two years. He is and was single w...
A. 20 September 2007: Hey no worries -
It's your Mum's loss if she can't deal with it.
You will find a lot of people will be happy for you as you become more established.
Just be re-assured that you have done absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever and anybody i... (read in full...)
My bf slapped me b/c I was nagging him when he wanted to sleep! I feel it's all my fault.
Q. My boyfriend of 3 yrs slapped me in the face yesterday just because I was nagging him very late at night when he wanted to sleep. Is his action justifiable?? He blames me for provoking him since I didnt respect him in letting him sleep. Now, I feel ...
A. 19 September 2007: First of all there is nagging and there is nagging. One can be the odd sarcastic comment at the gentle end and can be foul mouth blatant verbal abuse at the harsh end.
There is also slapping and slapping. One can be playful at the gentle e... (read in full...)
Why do I constantly feel inadequate or inferior to other people?
Q. Why do I constantly feel inadequate or inferior to other people? I never think that I am better than them even if I have a nicer personality or am prettier etc. And I really hate it when im with a guy and I know his ex's and they are pretty. I ...
A. 19 September 2007: You constantly feel inadequate because you allow yourself to feel this way.
You as a person can be as attractive as you feel you are.
You say you hate it when you are with a guy when you know how pretty his ex's have been. If you stopped f... (read in full...)
My wife is always putting me down. Sometimes I hate her, But I love her, if that makes sense. What can I do?
Q. ok here you go: I am married with children. Love my kids to death. I love my wife, but not as a wife. That may sound confusing, but let me explain. She is not a nice person at all, she constantly downs me and talks to me like I'm meaningless...
A. 19 September 2007: A lot of good advice here is offered already but I can only say what I would do in your shoes.
I would get away from this woman now and take the kids with me. If she is as bad as you describe your children would have sensed this and would pr... (read in full...)
My partner confimed my belief that all men would be unfaithful if they could! But he said he's different. Why should he be?
Q. Please, would you give me your view?. It is my suspicion that all men would be unfaithful if they could and were not found out and the person offering sex was attractive enough. My partner told me that I can trust HIM, because he values our ...
A. 19 September 2007: If you suspect that men are unfaithful around you - you will inevitably find that they are. There is no point of being accused and facing the grief of doing something without having the fun of doing it in the first place.
You refer to "If the ... (read in full...)
A man at a bar poured a drink on me, my boyfriend beat him up, and now I'm torn
Q. i got a question and its kinda confussion abit i guess! today is my birthday and last night my bf and i went out to the club and he had gotten real jealious over a guy buying me a drink and asking me for my number, but you see i didnt acce...
A. 18 September 2007: I get the impression that he was looking after you as opposed to showing jealousy. He stepped in to defend you once the drink was poured over you - not before when the other guy was flirting. Stepping in earlier would have indicated a jealous ... (read in full...)
I'm over 18 but I'm worried about dateing my teacher who's 4 yeasr older. Could he get in trouble?
Q. I need some advice please guys. I'm 19 and my math teacher was 21 and straight out of uni when he started at my college when I was 17. He has taught me for all of my four double math lessons most days for the past two years. He is and was single w...
A. 18 September 2007: If you decide to leave the college and there are still some bits of studying you wish to continue or complete - have you thought of looking into getting the extra or higher qualifications via the open university? - As your partner he would... (read in full...)
Some friends say I have changed because I don't smoke pot anymore. They say my boyfriend is controlling me.
Q. I have two specific friends who believe that my boyfriend is "controlling" because he told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with someone who smokes pot. this is fine with me because it is not something that i am attached to so im not doing ...
A. 18 September 2007: I regularly say in my posts you become the books that you read and become the people you hang around with. You have got yourself what sounds to be a pretty decent bloke here who wants the best for you. You have also got your so called fri... (read in full...)
I'm over 18 but I'm worried about dateing my teacher who's 4 yeasr older. Could he get in trouble?
Q. I need some advice please guys. I'm 19 and my math teacher was 21 and straight out of uni when he started at my college when I was 17. He has taught me for all of my four double math lessons most days for the past two years. He is and was single w...
A. 17 September 2007: This is a difficult one as there is an unwritten rule that the morality of this relationship is wrong.
At the same time you are over 18 and there is no law that you have broken. He would most likely get a reprimand but it sounds as if you are ... (read in full...)
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