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... Send *ncle Trev a private message | | | *ncle Trev's profile:I am a private teacher and a composer, living in the South West UK. I have a number of students at all ages and always listen to what they have to say. I have had a lot of experiences in life and am hopefully able to pass these onto others in a relatively unbiased way.
I have several hobbies which include, music, vegetarian cookery, snooker, photography, art, drama, and travelling. I have a strong sense of what I believe to be right and wrong and am a comfirmed agnostic. I am very liberal minded and can sometimes be too frank for my own good.
Out of all the Agony Aunts and Agony Uncles in the world my idols include Claire Raynor, Maury Povich and especially Jeremy Kyle as he is from my neck of the woods and is also a fellow West Ham United supporter.
I also am a lover of nature and a lover of the principles of nature and believe we should always let nature take her place and go with it.
If my opinion can help in any way then it makes efforts in here very worthwhile. |
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Is my girlfriend being selfish, to complain about her financial efforts whereas I am unemployed?
Q. ive been with my girlfriend for 2 yrs and she has supported me financially as ive been unemployed, i spend most of my time on the computer because i can chat to the women on there they understand me far better than my girlfriend does, although we ...
A. 27 February 2008: This guy, assuming this isn't a joke, is nothing more than an egocentric ponce.
THERE IS QUITE SIMPLY NO POINT IN TRYING TO HELP SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT WILLING TO HELP THEMSELVES IN LIFE.... (read in full...)
All this negativity is making me doubt whether getting married is the right thing to do - even though we do both love each other dearly.
Q. Hi my girlfriend (38) and I have been together 9 months and are due to get married in April. My girlfriend found out she was pregnant in January but is afraid to tell her elderly father as she fears his reaction to her being pregnant before she is ...
A. 27 February 2008: I don't see how immediate marriage will solve anything here.
You both love each other dearly and want to be together so this is most importand wreather you are married or not.
All you have to do is make a decision like that and stick to it.... (read in full...)
I feel I'm overdoing it, as I even do it at work... Should I be ashamed?
Q. Me and my boyfriend, began to send dirty text messages the other day, i really enjoyed it and ended up having to go to the bathroom at work at masturbate. It was rather embrassing. I try to get the dirty conversations going all the time because it ...
A. 27 February 2008: Providing you are not taking so much time off of work to go to the toilet that it is affecting your work there shouldn't be a problem.
As for your boyfriend not knowing what buttons to press regarding the intimacy then guide his hand, show him wher... (read in full...)
Today I came across lots porn in his drawer - and not classy porn either, and it seems to really bother me.
Q. Hi - I have been with my boyfriend for about two years now and everything seems nice; although today I came across lots porn in his drawer - and not classy porn either, and it seems to really bother me. I know that it is seem as normal for men to h...
A. 16 February 2008: Tisha's answer here below is indeed a very comprehensive one and explains very clearly good reasons why blokes like to look at porn.
It is just looking and not touching and in the vast majority of cases porn does not warp the mind or distort ... (read in full...)
Is this man worthy of me? Should I stay with him?
Q. I have been married now for a year and things have gone from bad to worse. Its started with me crying on my wedding day when he stood by and watched as his aunt shouted at me. We havent had a honeymoon and there is always an excuse not to go on ...
A. 16 February 2008: This guy sounds horrible right down to the core. His family have made sure of this. Bringing him up around people that by what you have written sound like a lower form of pondlife.
If what you have written is the absolute complete story th... (read in full...)
What is love? Am I in it?
Q. What IS this love?, am i in it? Well ive been dating this girl for about 4years, and been engaged for about 1 1/2 years. She is a great person! Funny, loving, wants to make me feel as good as i can everyday and doesnt care how i look somedays...
A. 23 January 2008: In saving her pain - how much pain are you going through?
She is in love with you and is committed to you in every way you could imagine. You have got yourself somebody very special there which must make this decision a very difficult one.
... (read in full...)
Is it my place to spill the beans?
Q. I dated a girl for my entire senior year in high school, and we broke up when I went away to college. She cheated on me twice during the relationship, and even though I knew that we remained friends after the breakup, and occasionally hooked up. ...
A. 23 January 2008: Do you tell or not?
It depends how spiteful you are and you are the only person who knows the true answer to that.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin. What should we do?
Q. Dear Cupid I am so confuse I think.... NO I know I am starting to fall in love with my cousin who is just 2 years older then me. All I want to know is that knowing that this is wrong I still want to have a serious relationship with her. I...
A. 23 January 2008: As marial4r has said your family is probably going to be the main problem here.
Legally there is nothing wrong with your situation if you pursue this and so if you both want this then go for it.
The more liberal your families are abo... (read in full...)
He keeps touching me inappropriately. What should I do?
Q. I am 13 year old girl. This boy in my class has been flirting with me ever since school has started. The thing is, he is confusing because he's flirty and then he gets gross with me. I told my mom and the princible at my school what he has done to ...
A. 23 January 2008: If all the school can do is suspend him for three days and as a result he comes back and continues from where he left off then as far as I can see it you have one option left.
To me it is obvious and I am surprised that none of the previous... (read in full...)
Can't get a man's attention....what do I do?
Q. Hi, Well, here I am, a 25 year old woman and I have never had a relationship with a man, in all these years have never even held a man's hand. I don't know what I can do to improve my lot in life, because I feel completely rejected by the ...
A. 19 January 2008: From your question here it does not sound as if you are doing anything that puts fellows off. The again I cannot see your body language. The reason I suggest body language is because the first contact a bloke usually has with a woman is through ... (read in full...)
She is my ex gf's sister and I am desperately in love with her...what should I do?
Q. I met my girlfriend in 1988. We had 2 children within a few years. It wasn't a very enjoyable relationship as she was never interested in anything including me. I was there for the kids. I started a small business and threw myself into that. Just ...
A. 19 January 2008: I think you have answered your question already.
You only have one chance of happiness and by the sound of it you have both been denying yourself a mutual happiness for many years.
In your shoes I would not hesitate, I would get back with he... (read in full...)
Is it right to date your step sister?
Q. is it right to date your step sister? things were good until i think sm found out a few years ago. i was in the military this has been an issue for 20 years. i never married she married 4 times when things go bad she comes to me. when things are ...
A. 19 January 2008: Providing there is no blood ties involved there is no reason why step brother and step sister cannot date or marry. Well there is not here in the UK.
If you met a girl and got married then at a later date say your father marries her mother h... (read in full...)
What is a good lie I can use so my forbidden love can visit my house?
Q. I have no problem with my parents.They don't care what's going on either way. But my girlfriend's parents absolutely HATE me. They have no issue with me coming over there, but I would love to spend some time with her at my house. The issue is, they ...
A. 19 January 2008: Assuming that your girlfriend is over 18 why does she not move out of her parents place and set up in her own place? This surely would solve everything.
If they hate you so much why do they not mind you going over there?
It seems that it is... (read in full...)
Is 3 a crowd? Should we keep his 3'some fantasy just that...a fantasy?
Q. hi everybody please can somebody help me. i have been in my relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years and he keeps asking me to have a 3some with him me and another when, i keep saying yes but i really don't no if i should, he has done this before ...
A. 19 January 2008: I cannot rule out the possibility of a lot of fun in extensions of relationships like this but the relationship has to be a very strong one in the first place.
If there is ANY doubt whatsoever in ANY of your minds about this then it is NOT for ... (read in full...)
What do these dreams mean?
Q. I've been having these wierd dreams lately and I'm wondering if they have any meaning. I've been with my husband for 7 years, married 3 of those 7 years. Without getting into extensive detail, he has hurt me so much over the past 2 years, mentally ...
A. 19 January 2008: You do not say if there are any children in this relationship so I will gather that there is not any. If this is the case I fail to see what is in the way of you leaving him if he is being this nasty and this disrespectful towards you. You would ... (read in full...)
I want to hurt him, nor have any reminders of him. Should I return his gifts?
Q. Hello there, My ex and I have been seperated 6 months ago for the best. We have been meeting up every now and then trying to remain friends and he is seeing someone else right now. Only until recently, I managed to get something out of him and h...
A. 19 January 2008: May I suggest that you sell the things that he has given you and then either donate the proceeds to a charity he would not approve of or spend the money on something that he wouldn't approve of. It is a much better way as you gain out of the ... (read in full...)
Did I say something wrong? What else was I supposed to say? I don't understand why she reacted like that.
Q. Hey weird fight with my girlfriend the other day and I am so confused. what is the appropriate response in this sort of situation: We went to a party at a mutual friends house. One of the guys there brought along a new girlfriend to introduce ...
A. 15 January 2008: I think my answer would have been yes she is very attractive, she is nearly as attractive as you.
I feel for you though - you were really in a tough one here.
The reason she reacted the way she did was that she felt threatened by this other gi... (read in full...)
Could a guy have sex with someone and totally not remember it happening the next day?
Q. Could a guy have sex with someone and totally not remember it happening the next day? My friend and her boyfriend had just moved in together, and she had her "best friend" over 1 night and the best friend and the boyfriend had been drinking a ...
A. 15 January 2008: It is possible for a guy to have sex when drunk or in a very deep sleep without remembering it although every time I have heard of this situation happening it has been the girl doing all the work and the guy laying down on his back completely out of ... (read in full...)
She likes me-I like her but she's way out of my league. How do I tell her that we can't date.
Q. This girl at school really likes me and I like her but the only thing she is way out of my league and i feel i wouldn't be able to handle her as people would say and i just want to be friends with her for now because childhood relationships never ...
A. 15 January 2008: If you consider her to be out of your league it rather says a lot more about how you put yourself down as opposed to how attractive or stunning she is.
If you think this lowly of yourself you are not giving the relationship a chance to kick off... (read in full...)
Should I abort or have this baby?
Q. help i just found out that i am 2 months pregnant the thing is that it is a result of rape. my family is pushing me to abord it but i dont think i can. i dont know why but something is pushing me to have this baby. i dont know what to do i need some ...
A. 14 January 2008: Firstly I am very sorry to hear of this awful thing that has happened to you.
At the end of the day it has got to be your choice and nobody elses. All anybody could give you here in terms of advice is what they would do if they were in your sho... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed with my mom. What should I do?
Q. I'm so annoyed. My mum phoned me tonight at half 9pm. I'm 14 and she wouldn't let me stay out any later. She wouldn't let me sleep at my friends house. She has annoyed me so much I'm going to ignore her until she lets me stay out later. All my other ...
A. 14 January 2008: By not talking to her and ignoring her you are just showing her immaturity and therefore adding more weight to her side of the arguement. Her arguement is no doubt by what you say that you are too young to be out at this time of night irrespective ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my stretch marks??
Q. I am 15. I have very pale white skin, am only 5ft2 and am a size 8 but very fat and chunky. My boobs are 30G and they wont stop growing so that now they've got these hideous stretch marks. these are the questions: 1. are stretch marks very very ...
A. 13 January 2008: There is not a lot I can suggest in addition of the supurb advice that baby duck has given below this.
What I will do however is suggest sudocrem - it is a very good moisturiser that eases pain and goes a way towards concealing the stretch ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my driving instructor?
Q. Hi everyone, My problem is silly but i'm finding it really heartbreaking at the moment. Recently I learnt how to drive, I had a really great instructor who made me feel good about myself, gave me loads of confidence and I could talk to him about an...
A. 12 January 2008: First of all as you have passed your test have you thought about taking lessons for the advanced test, it could be a way of taking your driving skills a little bit further and an advance test does command very favourable insurance deals.
Faili... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left hickeys on my body, that cannot be camouflaged!
Q. Ok heres the thing my bf left 14 hickeys on diffrent parts of my body and all can not be covered and i don't know what to do please help ...
A. 12 January 2008: There are some very good concealers on the market that would do some excellent work in covering stuff like this.
They can be used to conceal brusing as well - a few years ago I had a couple of friends who were doing pretty well as amateur ... (read in full...)
According to his rules, he's allowed to sleep with other girls, but I cannot sleep with other guys. If I went along with his idea what does this say about me?
Q. My ex and I have been seeing each other for awhile now. I REALLY like him, maybe even love him. He has said that he cares about me a lot, more than any other girl. We're not committed to each other although I do have deep feelings for him and I ...
A. 12 January 2008: He wants you to have a monogomous relationship whilst he has a polygamist one. You are either in a closed one on one relationship or you are in an open relationship. What is right for one is right for the other and if he wants things to be unequal ... (read in full...)
Would it be alright if we used a condom?
Q. i have just recently started going out with this 17 year old...hes in the army!! that doesnt bother me in anyway. in told my dad and his fiancee and they were fine considering my stepsister is going out with his little brother, so they know the ...
A. 5 January 2008: If you choose to come on to him, make all the first moves and as a consequence he succomes to your demand for sexual intercourse he has committed statutory rape.
It is a criminal offence that can easily carry anything up to a seven year jail sen... (read in full...)
I'm beginning to see him in a different light - is 4 years too much of an age gap?
Q. I have this friend who is 15, he will be 16 in a few months but recently, after not noticing him for so long i have started to see him in a different way. I really do believe i have such strong feelings for him. Like i could just talk to him all day ...
A. 5 January 2008: It is only too much of an age gap if you choose to believe that it is.
The age gap at your age may feel comparitively large but that is only because you are both younger and four years is a higher proportion of your age (20-25%) than it will be ... (read in full...)
Happy Xmas from DearCupid
Q. Happy Xmas everyone :-) The aunts who share their wisdom, the people who share their questions and the team of moderators who keep everything flowing onto the site! Plus the 350,000 people who visit each month Have a great Xmas! Feel free t...
A. 24 December 2007: I would just like to take this opportunity to wish everybody here, those that post questions, those that post answerd and the moderators a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year.... (read in full...)
Why Does My Mum Blame Me For Losing The Person She Loved?
Q. why does my mum blame me for the person she loved going to prision? i know what he did was wrong, and i know my mum loved him, and i know she'd choose her childen over him, but why does she still blame me for losing the person she ever loved? ...
A. 24 December 2007: The fact you cannot go into further details suggests to me that something criminal was maybe done to you. If this is the case and your mother is blaming you then shame on her. It rather says a lot more about her callousness than it could ever say ... (read in full...)
We are in love but my parents won't agree to our relationship. What should I do, marry him anyway or forget him?
Q. i love a guy and he too loves me a lot,but my parents wont agree for our relationship, due the circumstances he is telling let us forget and marry the person our parents like. how should i react and wat should i do. should i marry him or forget...
A. 24 December 2007: The decision to marry must be one that you make and one that you make without anybodys influence. If your parents have concerns about your present boyfriend ask them what those concerns are, after all they may know something about him or something ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my teacher and I think he knows...
Q. Hiiii xx First off, I'm a 15 year old chick. I kind of have a crush on my grade nine math teacher (I'm in grade ten now.)I won't go into details, but at the beginning of this year he was fine with me, and nowadays he seems to be avoiding me and ...
A. 24 December 2007: Your teacher has acted as professionally as he can and is choosing to keep a safe distance from you. If you have a respect for him show him by having a good attainment in your work - not by wanting to be around him all of the time. By hanging ... (read in full...)
My brother has asked I not tell my parents that he is gay! What should I do?
Q. Basically I have suspected that my brother has been gay for years but he never answers questions on his personal life and showed many signs which suggested he was gay. I finally asked him yesterday and he confirmed this and said he had been in a ...
A. 23 December 2007: As close as you may be with your parents it is simply not your job to tell them - unless your brother wants you to do the job for him. He has already told you that he doesn't want you to do this so DON'T - It is simply not your job to do this.
... (read in full...)
I have an annoying little Sister--how should I deal with her?
Q. I have a younger sister who is always getting on my nerves. She is always taking and using my stuff without asking first. This may not seem like much but after a while it does get on your nerves, especially if your parents don't do anything about ...
A. 23 December 2007: Assuming you have separate rooms could you ask your parents to have a lock on your bedroom door where both you and them could have a key to it.
You need to explain to your sister that you will not tollerate her behaviour.
Surely your p... (read in full...)
She hangs out with bad people! Should I just forget about her?
Q. I've got a crush on this girl hu I've been talking to on msn for two years now simply cause am too shy to ever speak to her in person. her best mate used to be going out with my mate they broke and then started an on and off relationship I always t...
A. 22 December 2007: This is quite difficult for you - I can see this but at the end of the day she is choosing to hang around these people of her own free will. I understand that you either told her this stuff away from her so called friends or you mentioned this to ... (read in full...)
Is it incest if you were related through great grandparents?
Q. After being in a relationship for about 2 and a half years, it fizzled out, but that wasn't to mean that the break-up wasn't messy, and a lot of heartache caused. That was 4 months ago, and i haven't even been interested in getting involved with ...
A. 25 November 2007: In the UK first cousins are allowed to marry let alone second cousins. This is simply not incest in any way or form. If you get on well than go for it and ignore anybody who tries to tell you that this is any way wrong.... (read in full...)
Questions for guys, do you prefer younger girls over more experienced women in bed, is humour important?
Q. A survey for the men: How important is the quality of sex in the choices that you make for a relationship to stand long term. Perhaps a younger pretty girl, not so experienced or good in bed vs. an older woman who is very experienced and lusty. ...
A. 14 November 2007: The older option without doubt but I tend to see the personality before the age. I prefer larger over smaller, taller over shorter, Older over younger, Lusty over lifeless. A good sense of humour is important as it relaxes the whole scenario.
... (read in full...)
Quite randomly what does this mean
Q. hi, ok there is this guy at university that apparently likes me, his best friend told me he does. however i dont know whether to believe him. but anyway, my question is the guy that apprently likes me asked me a wierd question, and i would liek any ...
A. 10 November 2007: He might just want to buy you a pair of shoes? - Had you thought of that?
Then again it may be what Doc John suggests, the possibility of a foot fetish is also there and there is absolutely nothing wrong with a fetish such as this - it can be q... (read in full...)
I helped a disabled girl-was it the wrong thing to do?
Q. I have a friend who nobody likes because she isn't fake like everyone else; she doesn't wear her hair like them, or make-up, or talk like they've never heard English before. She is very shy and only wants to be liked because she has no friends but ...
A. 10 November 2007: You have done absolutely nothing wrong and your actions over this whole incident is correct and right.
Your abled friend seems to focus more on the inclusion of a group than rely on herself to attract others. Your disabled friend is differan... (read in full...)
I am beginning to hate my parents.
Q. Help! I'm almost 37 and live with my parents with my husband and 4 children. We moved in two years ago when my husband was an alcholic (recovered now) and the bottom dropped out- we lost everything we had. Now we live with my parents and are ...
A. 10 November 2007: I think what you need to focus on is where you would all be today if your parents hadn't have came up trumps with what can only be described as a phonomenal lifeline.
I do not know many parents who would have done all they have done especial... (read in full...)
The perfect christmas present is awfully expensive, will he feel bad about it if I buy it for him?
Q. guys pleaz answer this. would you fddel bad if your gf brought you something big for christmast? i want to get my guy a guitar. would that be okay? how would you feel if ur gf get you that? i am 16 and he is 20. he likes playing guitar alot. he ...
A. 5 November 2007: There are guitars and guitars. They can range in price from £20-US$40 at the basic end of the market to prices into the thousands of pounds at the top end of the market. As far as US Dollars are concerned a top instrument can go well into four and ... (read in full...)
Do you think this is bad for me?
Q. hi. im on a diet and am currently eating one apple a day n thats it n doin exersise but nt too much. Du thnk this is bad for me? im 8 n half stone n almost 15 nw in i jst really want to be skinny, like the ones in the magazines. plaz tell me if this ...
A. 3 November 2007: You want to know if this diet is bad or not - in short:
YES it is bad,
Very bad.
It is also bad for your mind to think along your lines too. Aiming to mutilate your body this way in order to make yourself look like some of those stick... (read in full...)
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