He says he stayed with ex for his son. I don't understand why.
Q. Hi I need to know wether I am being a idiot or if its normal to feel how I do. My boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship and this situation is hard but we have a agreement regarding the visits. But my boyfriend has told me about the rel...
A. 6 February 2010: Good for you, that's a really good plan I'm quite proud of you dear! An abortion can be really hard on a woman emotionally. I definitely think it's good for you to get some counseling around that. ... (read in full...)
My parents wont listen, I am 14 he is 24
Q. im 14 and going out with a 24 year old. We both love each other very much but my parents hate him.I can understand why but they cant accept that im actually happy. He still wants to be with me even though my parents have givin him loads of grief in ...
A. 5 February 2010: Oh honey. in the eyes of your parents, the law and most societies, you are still a child while he is a grown man. What he is doing is taboo. I know you will say age makes no difference, but that's the irony. 4 years from now when you're 18 and ... (read in full...)
Boy, revenge is sweet...
Q. Hi, my wife recently cheated on me with a guy who lives in a small town about 10 miles away from me, anyway to cut a long story short I found everything out, confronted my wife and then I confronted the guy in question and gave him the mandotary ...
A. 4 February 2010: Honestly I can completely understand your desire for revenge. You feel betrayed. It's horrible to be cheated on. But as everyone here has said... it is your wife who betrayed you. Not this man.
Who's to say he even knew she was married? Who's to... (read in full...)
I really don't think he loves me...
Q. I have a boyfriend that I love so much, but I dont think he loves me the way I love him... the reason is because I call and text him almost every day but with him it's not like that. I asked him last month, why is he acting in such manner? He said ...
A. 4 February 2010: It's basically biology... men like to be the pursuers. You have taken that away from him. You are the one always pursuing him. Give him the gift of letting your man pursue you. Men want to win a woman's love... not get it on top of their heads 10x a ... (read in full...)
Was it reasonable to push her when she came at me with a hot iron?
Q. I've been married 10 years. On Thursday evenings my wife drops off our 7-year old son at football training and I drive from work to collect him. A few times there has been a last minute change and my wife has texted me but I don't think I've...
A. 29 January 2010: Clearly you two have some communication issues. The fact that they are escalating to screaming and pushing and threats with hot irons means they have reached dangerous levels, and may point to some deeper issues as well. I think you two need to go ... (read in full...)
He says he stayed with ex for his son. I don't understand why.
Q. Hi I need to know wether I am being a idiot or if its normal to feel how I do. My boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship and this situation is hard but we have a agreement regarding the visits. But my boyfriend has told me about the rel...
A. 29 January 2010: Look at this from another way. Logic tells you that if he was engaged to her, he must have had feelings for her. So if he says he didn't either he's lying - which makes you distrust him, or if he's telling the truth, that's scary because maybe if he ... (read in full...)
Guilt over not calling a friend the night before she died
Q. Again, I have another non relationship-related question, but I love the advice, so I figured I'd ask. On october 23rd of 2009, a dear friend passed away from ALS. I saw her for the last time ever on the 3rd of october, My last promise to her w...
A. 29 January 2010: Honey, you are asking for help, but this is a decision you need to make inside yourself. Yes you loved your friend, and yes it hurts so very much to lose someone we love. But have you taken it further and somehow convinced yourself on some ... (read in full...)
Should I give an ultimatum?
Q. I started hooking up with a friend of mine about 4 months ago. We love each others company and have a great time together. She knows how I feel and she bounces back and forth between feeling the same way, and just wanting to be friends. I want to ...
A. 23 January 2010: Sit her down and tell her that FWB just isn't working for you and you are looking for a solid committed relationship. Tell her you understand that she is on the fence, and you completely understand if she's not ready for a committment, but that ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my stepson.
Q. I'm 38 years old and married to an older man - he's 50. It's his second marriage and he's got 2 kids from his previous marriage. Over the past few months my attraction to my stepson has grown tremendously. We flirt a lot to the point it could be ...
A. 23 January 2010: Stop flirting with your step-son and tell him to go put a shirt on. It IS highly inappropriate and sends completely the WRONG message to a 19 yr old boy. You may only be his step-mother but you are still a mother figure to him. Be a responsible role ... (read in full...)
Guilt over not calling a friend the night before she died
Q. Again, I have another non relationship-related question, but I love the advice, so I figured I'd ask. On october 23rd of 2009, a dear friend passed away from ALS. I saw her for the last time ever on the 3rd of october, My last promise to her w...
A. 23 January 2010: She was sick, you all knew she was going to die. Your phone call wasn't going to keep her alive. That's nonsense. Instead of dwelling on the one call you didn't make, please focus on all the ones you DID make, the friendship you shared and all the ... (read in full...)
Just thinking about him turns me on. Is this normal?
Q. there this guy that am getting to know.. and i swear when i think about him.. i get soo horny:(.. is like i just wanna be with him..like have him sexually:(..am always fantasising about him..am soo embarrassed:(.. am not a sl.utt or anything.. and ...
A. 23 January 2010: Totally normal. Just take it slow. You don't want to jump his bones too fast and scare him away. Good luck! :-)... (read in full...)
How do you knock back a friends advances without losing the friendship?
Q. There's this boy in my year at school. We're good friends, but he's always hugging me and saying "Wuv you," and telling me how gorgeous I am and flirting with me... He hasn't actually asked me out yet, but, all my other friends think he will so...
A. 23 January 2010: Wow that's a tough one. He's fallen for you. Be gentle. If he asks you out then you can gently tell him you cherish his friendship but don't like him in a romantic way. Or since you are so young maybe you can just tell him you really aren't ready ... (read in full...)
I am about to meet my online b/f and worries I might not be slim enough for him
Q. would like some answers from male readers. i have been txting a man now for the last 5 mths. we get on great and he is a great person. he lives few hours away and we are meant to be meeting next week. he has seen pics of me but had to take them ...
A. 23 January 2010: Honey if he likes what he's seen from the waist up... He'll like what he sees from the hips down. And if he doesn't well you will find out soon enough. The best strategy for success is just to be confident and focused on what's good between you two. ... (read in full...)
Is he over me now that he took my virginity?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for about 8 months now, from the start he has been chasing me. he is 26 and i have just turned 20. We both have a lot in common and are comfortable around each other. we see each other as often as we can (3-4 times a week)and ...
A. 23 January 2010: Oh honey, no I don't think that at all. It seems like you have a really caring guy. No man would date a woman for 8 months with no sex if he didn't really care about you. What's happened is he wanted your first time to be wonderful but instead you ... (read in full...)
He says he stayed with ex for his son. I don't understand why.
Q. Hi I need to know wether I am being a idiot or if its normal to feel how I do. My boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship and this situation is hard but we have a agreement regarding the visits. But my boyfriend has told me about the rel...
A. 23 January 2010: Hmmm. Well to give him the benefit of the doubt, it might be somewhere in the middle. Guys tend to live in the moment. So at the time he was with her he could have felt much more, but after they broke up this is now how he looks back on it and feels ... (read in full...)
Doctor did not exam me to determine how far pregnant I am
Q. Ok so 2 weeks ago I did a home pregnancy test and it came out positive so I took another one just to be on the safe side. This also had the same outcome. I went to my local supermarket and bought a clear blue digital one and this one came out ...
A. 23 January 2010: I trust they did a blood test to confirm your pregnancy? Not examining you would be normal. They usually do an ultrasound at about 12 weeks. They can only go by the date of your last period until the fetus develops. Then they can get a better idea ... (read in full...)
Can someone get pregnant without sexual intercourse?
Q. Hey, I'm pretty much messed up right now and way too worried. I'm still a virgin as I have not had sexual intercourse yet. However, the other day I was lying on bed with my boyfriend and we were playing around, we had our underwear on and...
A. 23 January 2010: Hi sweetie,
Please relax. NO. You can't be pregnant. First of all you didn't have intercourse. 2nd of all, it doesn't even sound like your BF ejaculated - trust me you would notice. And even if he had, it would need to have been deep inside y... (read in full...)
My cousin is constantly seeking attention from me on facebook
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a tricky situation and need advice. My cousin who i was very close to moved to Chicago 6 years ago when she got married.We have always kept in touch. Now just before Christmas she joined facebook but she bombards ...
A. 23 January 2010: I assume you work? Maybe tell send her a private note and tell her that they are cracking down on everyone's Facebook activity at work so you won't be able to post as often, or tell her your boss caught you on facebook when you had something due so ... (read in full...)
I havent heard from my boyfriend since New Years Eve, what should I do?
Q. l am a 23 year year old. have been dating my boyfriend for a year now.he is 27. he has gone all quite. we were suppose to meet on new year eve to go to a party. he called saying he was coming but never showed up. he didn't even text a message ...
A. 23 January 2010: oh darlin'. That's awful. It never ceases to amaze me how cowardly men can be. I think that if you need some closure or explanation you should call him and tell him you need to talk. If you don't need that then walk away. But most of all take care ... (read in full...)
What is this pain I am experiencing?
Q. Hello Everybody. Well see i have this problem im getting a bigger tummy my taking in food are more than i use to eat. My husband calls my fatty but when we have sex i have pain in said its very painful When we do it deep its ver very painfull it ...
A. 22 January 2010: Honey... GO TO A DOCTOR. Anytime you have pain.. you should get it checked out immediately. ... (read in full...)
B/f doing something wrong and projecting?
Q. I might just be paranoid but my boyfriend has been acting jealous lately and it makes me think maybe he might be the one doing something wrong and projecting. I know he used to pine away for a girl who would hook up with him between her on-and-off ...
A. 22 January 2010: You handled that beautifully... bravo! And congratulations! It's so nice to hear a happy ending. ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for wanting him to man-up to his family?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over two months now. The only problem is I think he is a little too attached to his family. He is 19 years old, yet he still has a curphew of 11:30 pm, this includes weekends. We also don't get to see ...
A. 20 January 2010: ps. think of it this way... those people who are getting on your nerves? are the very same people who taught your man to be such a good, caring guy and to treat you in the way you are enjoying so much. If you have a good man, be grateful to them. ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for wanting him to man-up to his family?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over two months now. The only problem is I think he is a little too attached to his family. He is 19 years old, yet he still has a curphew of 11:30 pm, this includes weekends. We also don't get to see ...
A. 20 January 2010: Honey, it sounds like he has a large loving protective family. In this day and age when most families just let their kids run wild with no idea who they are dating or what they are up to, I know you may not like it but I think it's kinda nice they ... (read in full...)
I'm using alcohol to cope with my girlfriend's death, can anyone help me?
Q. hi there. im really in some trouble here. I recently posted on here about my ex girlfriend who died three years ago. im really starting to have some trouble. she appears in my dreams more frequently now more than ever. I've been reverting to the ...
A. 4 January 2010: Oh honey. First of all I'm not sure what you mean by it's your fault. It was an accident, the other driver was drunk. That doesn't sound like your fault. You need to stop blaming yourself and let go of this guilt. A lot of survivors have guilt, like ... (read in full...)
Is it possible my boyfriend has changed for good?
Q. Do people ever truly change? When my bf and I were first together, we had a lot of problems with the way he treated me. He treated me pretty badly and didnt seem to really be with me for who I am. He seemed to only want sex as he would continuall...
A. 4 January 2010: It sounds like he HAS changed. He treated you badly and you wouldn't get more deeply involved with him. It sounds like he respected that and found that you were more important to him than his idiot friends. I think if things have been good for 5 ... (read in full...)
How can I fix our relationship after I found out about his double life?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now , we were best friends for two years before he finally asked me out , just before he asked me out i found that he had like around 50 chicks sending him nude pictures and he was playing all ...
A. 4 January 2010: Oh honey. I'm so sorry. That's brutal. But he did it once, then he promised not to... then he did it again. You aren't going to change him. He's not emotionally mature enough to be faithful to you.
He cheated, he lied, he got caught.... he did i... (read in full...)
Will he divorce his wife for me?
Q. I met this guy at work and he was interested in me a lot bcuz he started talking to me and he told me he was in the process of a divorce. Little by little he mentioned to me several times that he loved me. I fell deeply in love with him and we would ...
A. 20 December 2009: Hang on... he said he was getting divorced when you met him, and he HAS moved out of the house right? Well that's a step in the right direction.
Can you talk to him and tell him you are really uncomfortable that he's still married and ask him ... (read in full...)
I wasted all my christmas money for my old boyfriend now what to do for my new one?
Q. Okay well as everyone knows that Christmas is comming close. Only thing is I bought my ex a present and I gave Otto him to be nice and let him know I still cared blah blah but now i Llike this other guy and I have no money to spend on him cuz I ...
A. 20 December 2009: Bake him something. Make some cookies or something good like that. Guys always like stuff to eat. Any guy who is worth anything won't care that you didnt spend money on him. ... (read in full...)
B/f doing something wrong and projecting?
Q. I might just be paranoid but my boyfriend has been acting jealous lately and it makes me think maybe he might be the one doing something wrong and projecting. I know he used to pine away for a girl who would hook up with him between her on-and-off ...
A. 20 December 2009: In my experience trust your women's intuition. ... (read in full...)
I told my net lover I'm a larger cup-size and now he wants to meet me
Q. Hey guys, Im 24 and i met an amazing guy in a chatroom and we hit it off right away.We had great chemistry from the start.Although it was all cybersex i didnt even realise he'd fall for me the way he did. He writes me the most romantic messages...
A. 20 December 2009: If his feelings for you are genuine he won't care... (read in full...)
I am dating the local newspaper!
Q. i've recently got my first ever girlfriend of my life and i am damn happy 'bout it. but the thing is, whatever we talk about, romantic or private, just ANYTHINNG.... she goes on and shares it with her roommates. its not that they spread gossi...
A. 6 December 2009: Hi darlin, well... yes we girls are guilty of gossiping with each other. And especially if she is young; it's hard to understand where to draw the line. As a man you are going to have to get used to the fact that women will always share more with ... (read in full...)
Is he still pining for his ex wife or am I over-reacting?
Q. Hi there I met this guy 2 years ago. At that time he broke up with his wife at her request. We moved in together at the begining of this year. Actually, i believe that he is still pinning for his wife; he's doing things for her, gives her money ev...
A. 6 December 2009: She's living with another man and is pregnant with that man's child? Whoa. Then your man really has no business giving her money and doing things for her; that's her new man's job. Unfortunately it sounds like he has never really let go of this ... (read in full...)
How can I make the next step to asking her out again?
Q. Hi all I've previously asked for advice on how I can win my ex back and am still trying but find myself confused. We have been apart for nearly six months but recently she has been texting me more and asked me out for a coffee last week. She ...
A. 4 December 2009: You've been trying to win her back? Sounds like you pretty much have. Not sure why she's sending mixed signals but then we don't know the history or why you two broke up. She may want you back but also be wary about being hurt again, or unsure if ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do, I'm an emotional wreck, I need your help!
Q. I've a massive problem. I've been with someone for 5 years (seems to be common) but had broken up about 2 times. Every year i get into this situation when its the end of the year and i dont feel like i love her anymore. I've found another gir...
A. 4 December 2009: Ok. You are 22, you've been with your girlfriend for 5 years. So you started when you were 17. So she's basically the only girlfriend you've ever had. You have broken up 2x and been engaged 3x (which means you've called off the engagement 2x)... and ... (read in full...)
I have never been the other woman. I just want him in my life and never want to lose him again. What do I do?
Q. I met a man named Zack 8 years ago from a mutual friend. We have been best friends since that day. Zack and I have never once said or implied taking our relationship to another level. However, he kissed me out of the blue 5 years ago but pulled away ...
A. 4 December 2009: Honey, I realize you have history with Zach, but you said this all started up just a week ago. From what you describe, he's been romantically involved with his girlfriend for something around 4-5 years? It sounds like Zach has had feelings for you ... (read in full...)
How do I get over him? I loved him more than I love myself!
Q. hey i had a bf. he was so nice n suit firstly. i loved him more than myself. but than he changed. it seemed like he didnt need me anymore, didnt want to be with me anymore, so i went far away from him. but whenever i remember him tears cum outa my ...
A. 4 December 2009: Honey you need to love yourself more than you love a man, or you will never truly have the love of a man. First love is the hardest to get past. Just take care of yourself. Find people that enjoy your company and get out in the world with them. You ... (read in full...)
Is he still pining for his ex wife or am I over-reacting?
Q. Hi there I met this guy 2 years ago. At that time he broke up with his wife at her request. We moved in together at the begining of this year. Actually, i believe that he is still pinning for his wife; he's doing things for her, gives her money ev...
A. 4 December 2009: No honey I don't think you are overreacting. He may be required to give her money every month (alimony) but as for the rest, you should trust your feminine instincts. It can take people a long time to get past a divorce. I was in this sort of ... (read in full...)
How can I rely on someone who acts like this?
Q. i've been in a relationship for the past 4 years and i try to make things work out, but now, i'm exhausted! Since my bf and I spent the hollidays with his family last year, we decided to go to my home town, and spend at least christmas with my mothe...
A. 4 December 2009: Wow. Your boyfriend sounds like he's just a really selfish person. You asked how can you rely on someone who acts like this and the hard simple truth is... you can't. Maybe this trip to visit your mom on your own is a blessing in disguise. Take ... (read in full...)
The night my boyfriend died I found out he had cheated on me, how do I get through this?
Q. My boyfriend died on November 15th, 2009. The night he died, I found out he had cheated on me and had lied to me about several things. How do I get through this? I dont know if I am more angry that he died and left me OR that he lied and cheated. ...
A. 4 December 2009: Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. That is so hard and difficult and painful. You are dealing with grief and betrayal. I think the way you get through it is just one day at a time, one moment at a time. Let yourself feel what you feel. Your emotions are ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is in an unhappy marriage! What should I do?
Q. Ok so there's this guy. I've known him for about ten years, infact even longer than his wife. He's actually a family friend and all we have ever been is friends. However about 7 months ago after me, his wife and him went out for some drinks, we went ...
A. 27 November 2009: Good for you love!! Be strong, I know it's hard. I'm really proud of you, and we are here for you if you ever need to talk. ... (read in full...)
Should I let my daughter visit her father for a week?
Q. Ok, my daughter's father and I have been broken up for about a year now. Since the holidays are coming up I decided to put all of our differences aside and let my daughter go back home with him.(Recently moved out of state) Now she has never been ...
A. 25 November 2009: hang on... I'm confused. What violence around are you refering to? also, you've been broken up for a year but he doesn't have regular visits with his child that last more than a day? ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is in an unhappy marriage! What should I do?
Q. Ok so there's this guy. I've known him for about ten years, infact even longer than his wife. He's actually a family friend and all we have ever been is friends. However about 7 months ago after me, his wife and him went out for some drinks, we went ...
A. 25 November 2009: Hi darlin,
You ask really good questions. From what I have learned in my years (I'm 38) I have seen this strange dynamic sometimes... that really good, kind hearted people seem to attract really difficult troubled people. And for reasons no one c... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is in an unhappy marriage! What should I do?
Q. Ok so there's this guy. I've known him for about ten years, infact even longer than his wife. He's actually a family friend and all we have ever been is friends. However about 7 months ago after me, his wife and him went out for some drinks, we went ...
A. 24 November 2009: Oh honey. I'm with KC100. Don't romanticize this guy. You are young so please listen to your aunts who have more life experience. Read the other posts by women in your position on here, they say the SAME thing. He's so NICE he doesn't want to HURT ... (read in full...)
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