| Latest articles: Women and Men: Being Equal
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 January 2011: When your in a relationship, either married or dating I think it is safe to say that equality in that relationship is a very good thing. I'm interested in seeing what everyone can come up with for equality points in a relationship. I'm not really ...
Lost puppy effect.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 September 2010: With a friend of mine going through a break up at the moment I have noticed the common behavior of her bf which I want to call the lost puppy effect. Some back ground on the situation is that she broke up with him and is moving on and going through ...
To break up or not to break up? That is the question.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 February 2010: This article is inspired by two friends of mine who are together in a relationship and its for all those men and women who think that they want to end their realationship but don't quite know yet. All relationships hit rocky patches where you have...
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How do you get over someone you truly loved?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on and of we love each other, weve been dating for six months but hes said that hes going through alot and we need a break, well anyways im in eighth grade going to ninth im really hurt and my family and friends keep telling ...
A. 16 August 2011: I don't think you ever get over the your first love. What I have found is that as you get on with your life your definition of love changes and you realize that what you and your ex had was special at the time but wasn't what it takes to hve a more ... (read in full...)
He is a great boyfriend, but he's into sex
Q. So,I have been in relation with this guy since when i was in 9th grade and now I am in 11th.We were together for a year and went very well.Now I am in USA,he loves me alot and we trust each other.He does not flirt with other girls and never hurts my ...
A. 16 August 2011: Not all boys are the same but he is at that point in his life when his hormones are going a little crazy. It is good that he is forward with you and isn't pressuring you into anything but you know what he wants and you have to decide if that is what ... (read in full...)
Did my friend even know what she was doing?
Q. Is it even possible that what happened was molestation? My best friend, who was a year younger than me and the same gender as me touched me for 3 years between age 7 and 10. I never wanted any of it and it makes me sick thinking about it now. But ...
A. 16 August 2011: I think it is a real grey area here. She may not have known what she was doing and at that age the child is not legally held responsible for their actions. Also you have expressed that it was unwanted but I am sure the communication of that was not ... (read in full...)
ARE men really turned off by virgins?
Q. Why are men turned off by virgins? What is it about virgins that scare men?...
A. 13 August 2011: I don't think men are turned off by virgins at all. The thing is though that there is alot more to consider when being with a virgin. If the guy is caring he will be worried about being the person who takes her virginity and making it special for ... (read in full...)
My married lover destroyed my life!
Q. hi, i am single and had an affair with a married man. I managed to hack his mail ID and found he has chatted and flirted with many young girls. saying 'i love you' and all. he's definitely playing with innocent lives. I know his daughter's mail ID. ...
A. 13 August 2011: I think you should cut contact and stay out of his life. What grounds do you have to interfere with this man's life? I understand you want to do the right thing but the fact is that you are just another woman that he has caught in his trap. The ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but will there be a second chance??
Q. Me and my girlfriend split up after 3 and a half years of being together, with a 4 month break up in between. The first time we broke up, she broke up with me and she contacted me on my birthday telling me how she felt about me, after a month of ...
A. 13 August 2011: I think that there is a chance but in the end unless you can actually find a solution to the arguements the relationship will never go anywhere. I beleive that you have tried and that it is probably best to move on from her and find a fresh start ... (read in full...)
Information on speed dating appreciated, good or bad??
Q. just wondering if speed dating is any good? seems like fun. anyone done it?...
A. 7 August 2011: I have never done it before but from what I know about it, it would be very difficult to actually meet anyone while doing it because of the short time period. I think that it would be alot of fun but not an effective way to meet a possible partner. ... (read in full...)
We broke up, I'm miserable, want him back, any suggestions??
Q. Me and my bf of 6 months broke up 2months ago and im still madly inlove with him i cant get him out my head im absolutely crazy about him He wont talk to me at all im running after him like a puppy dog text after text etc i know i shouldnt but i ca...
A. 7 August 2011: I think the best thing for you is to force yourself not to contact him anymore. You don't need him to be there and in fact it will probably hurt you more if he is there. I'm sorry for what you had to go through but now you should seek the company of ... (read in full...)
What really turns a guy on?
Q. This question is Coming from a girl who has little experience with men.What really turns on a fella? Like what do most fellas get turned on by or what do they find sexy? ...
A. 7 August 2011: In the bedroom I like a confident girl who isn't afraid to tell me what she wants. Confidence in all aspects of her life is a big turn on. ... (read in full...)
Why don't women with low self-esteem stay loyal to emotionally strong men?
Q. Why don't low self esteem women choose to be loyal to emotionally strong, masculine men, who are good to them? (a generalization)...
A. 7 August 2011: I think anyone with low self esteem generally tends to think that bad things are going to happen to them so they are more likely to let bad things happen to them such as messing up a really good relationship. Or some may think that there is no ... (read in full...)
Could I be gay? Watching girl porn excites my husband AND me
Q. I got married last dec. and my husband and i started watching porn just a few months ago for ideas. we have been watching a lot of girl on girl action and it has turned me on to the point that we have thought about asking another woman to join us. ...
A. 7 August 2011: I don't think you are turning gay. It sounds to me like you are just comfortable with this man enough to express something you may like to try. Ask yourself is it just the physical relationship you want with a girl or can you actually see a girl in ... (read in full...)
What does an itchy red irritated belly button mean is wrong?
Q. My belly button has been itchy the past couples days. Today I noticed the inside of my belly button is red and irritated. Should I be worried?...
A. 7 August 2011: It sounds like it would be some sort of rash possibly because something got in there. If it doesn't go away in a day or two I would go get it checked out. Also you may want to try a cortisone cream which should take away the itch. That you can find ... (read in full...)
When are men going to STOP being so selfish about porn and START realizing they are destroying the woman that loves them?
Q. Some women like porn and don't mind if their bf's look at it. This does not apply to those women. This is for the rest of us, the majority. Those of us that HATE PORN and HATE HOW IT MAKES US FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES. Seriously, after all the ex...
A. 6 August 2011: Wow all this question screams is that you and your man have an insecure relationship. I admit some people can't deal with the fact that porn is fantasy and they try to make their sex life just like that but the other 95% percent of people, men and ... (read in full...)
I still find the school girl uniform sexy! Am I pervert?
Q. Hello guys. I am quite young and I have just left school to go to College. The thing is I still find the whole school girl thing sexy (the uniform, pigtails and so on) I'm worried I might have a problem. I don't want to be a pervert! Am I weird!? ...
A. 5 August 2011: I don't think you are a pervert for liking that. It is just a fantasy and personally I would enjoy that one as well. You like the look of the school girl, that doesn't mean you want to go after an underage girl. It is fine for everyone to have their ... (read in full...)
I don't want to feel anything sexual for my female friends....what can I do?
Q. During summers, us friends plan on going to the pool/beach. The thing is, I have several female friends, and I'm quite anxious about it. Not from the creepy way - the opposite actually. I don't have sexual thoughts of them, nor see them that way, ...
A. 5 August 2011: You have to realize that this is completely normal and not embarrasing. I'm pretty sure some of my female friends have notice that if we are joking around and say I am tickling one of them I will go hard, it just happens. I think at some point every ... (read in full...)
I've discovered my penis is smaller than average and its really messing with my mind!
Q. I've recently done some research and I've found out the WORST possible news. I've discovered that my penis is below average in all aspects. I've been concerned with this for years and it's one of the reasons I've turned down or just didn't atte...
A. 5 August 2011: Man, I am right around that size and I have never had any complaints. If you are worried about being smaller it may just cause you to put more effort into pleasuring a girl which she will really enjoy. People who naturally have a huge penis tend to ... (read in full...)
I started my period and gained 5 lbs???
Q. Hello! I started my period a few days ago, and all the sudden I'd gained nearly five pounds! Which has never happened. I'm becoming worried that it won't go away! I feel so self conscious, and it's really noticeable. My jeans don't fit! My stomach ...
A. 5 August 2011: From the point of just day to day weight change it is possible to shift 5 pounds up or down very rapidly. It is perfectly normal even though it probably isn't fun at all there isn't much you can do. It is true that midol may help and also a gentle ... (read in full...)
Does he actually love me or is he using me? how can you tell?
Q. My ex boyfriend and i broke up at the beginning of july of this year, and since he broke up with me he has still been telling me that he loves me, i am still in love with him, but hes confusing me, i dont know if hes just using me or if he actually ...
A. 4 August 2011: He may still love you but there are times where a relationship isn't the best thing to keep two people together. I am confused on why you say he may be using you. This would imply he is gaining something out of this like sex or another physical ... (read in full...)
Can short parents have tall children?
Q. Am average my fiance is short but we are in luv with each other my question goes our children are they going to be short, average or tall?...
A. 3 August 2011: Yes it is possible. Sometimes tall genes skip many generations and seem to come out of no where. Although it is unlikely you will be extremely taller then your parents it is possible.
Also lifestyle has a bit to do with it. It is important to get ... (read in full...)
I sent a text saying I was breaking up with him but he didn't respond. What does that mean?
Q. Hi,im going out with this guy at first it was so great we would go out every weekend until some months ago he stoped going out with me and when i ask were he was, he says i was with the guys.im fed up with it told him wanted to talk but his been ...
A. 1 August 2011: In all fairness I wouldn't respond to a text like that either. He was probably very angry and said screw it, so rather then telling you anything he just kicks you out of his life leaving you with all the questions in your head. Your best bet is to ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's tattoo of his ex wife's name on his neck - is it unreasonable of me to want it removed or covered?
Q. I'm 29 and he is 37. We have been together for just over 3 months but i'm already in love like never before. He was with his ex for about 12 years and a few years ago got her name tattooed on his neck in large letters. He has said he thought they ...
A. 28 July 2011: I can see why you would want him to remove it. You can't really make him get it removed but covering it up is a better option. I just don't see why people get names like that tattooed on them.
You have to understand that the removal process ofte... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I don't know what love is
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 and half months my boyfriend is afraid that he is going to lose me i told him no you aren't going to lose me i love him and i want to be with him he trust me and loves me my thinks i don't know what love is ...
A. 22 July 2011: You could ask him what he thinks love is and when he can't give a very good answer you can let him know that love is an undescribable feeling that developes over time. You may not express what he thinks is love but let him know that every day you ... (read in full...)
My friend is going out with another friend and I'm jealous!
Q. My best friend who I love dearly is going out with my male friend. How do I deal with this jealousy?(I'm a dude)...
A. 22 July 2011: Your welcome.
Yeah that is weird. Sometimes it takes something like that to give them an excuse to get out of their comfort zone. They may have wanted to date but never would have unless they can say it was due to some external reason.
Peopl... (read in full...)
My friend is going out with another friend and I'm jealous!
Q. My best friend who I love dearly is going out with my male friend. How do I deal with this jealousy?(I'm a dude)...
A. 21 July 2011: You just have to try to be happy for them. They are both your friends so you should want them to be happy. You will always feel a little jealous but that thought should help you realize that it isn't necessary. ... (read in full...)
What is the best lubricant to use, specifically for anal?
Q. Does anyone have any tried and true recommendations for a personal lubricant that stays slippery longer other than K-Y (in the United States)? My partner and I really do not like that it gets sticky so quickly, and we have to re-lube so often...
A. 21 July 2011: If you have it in the states try astroglide. It works really well and I done anal with my gf using it. Also just to mention, relaxation is just as important as lube inorder for anal to go well. ... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell him about the drunken hickey incident?
Q. I have a friend of mine who started dating someone who before I got engaged, I had a drunken make out with and even had the old "mistake of a hickey happen". I never talked about it with the girl and it was so awkward because I was so embarrased ...
A. 21 July 2011: Don't worry about. Things happen and it was so long ago you don't need to bring up that guilt. Your right it would be worse if it was sex and even then I beleive that there are somethings you have to live with inorder to protect someones feelings. I ... (read in full...)
How do I fix my nose without surgery and how do I open up to people?
Q. So, to start, I'm sorry if this turns into a rant. I really want input from someone other than my friends who can be biased. Because of several events in my life that left me extremely traumatized, I get hit extremely hard by rejection. I've bee...
A. 21 July 2011: I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you know that not all guys are like that and that you work at communicating more. The best thing I can think of is do something with makeup to take the focus off your nose and more to your eyes or lips for ... (read in full...)
Should I Dump her or is it just another ego boost for me?
Q. I wanna dump my girlfriend. We are together for 18 months. She is nice , beautiful and there’s hardly anything I can find wrong in her but wanna dump her to make it 1-1. My first girlfriend had dumped 6 months before she came into my life . S...
A. 21 July 2011: Yeah leave her. Your ego is pretty pathetic. This is for anyone who reads this: it doesn't matter how many partners yours has had or how many break ups. When you start the relationship thats called even ground. I hate it when people think they ... (read in full...)
Ideas for some summer fun?
Q. Hey, what are some fun at home things my boyfriend and I can do besides movies, video games, or cooking? We sometimes have water fights or play with the dogs, but we just want some more ideas, seeing as neither of us can drive the other legally(I ...
A. 21 July 2011: Things that come to my mind is the beach or summer walks in the park where you could play frisbee or plan a picnic. You two could get dropped off at the beach and picked up later if that works for you. Do you bike or roller blade? Go karts are ... (read in full...)
Is cybersex cheating?
Q. I have a cybersex habit. I had it before I met my wife and I still have it. I have a very high sex drive and my wife just doesn't keep up with me by any stretch. To me it is just a step beyond jerking myself off. In fact, that's what it is. Some...
A. 20 July 2011: Yeah I would call it cheating. It's the fact that you are interacting with another person for sexual pleasure. If I had to rate the degrees of cheating it would be low on the list but still would be there.
Now I don't think it would be a prob... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable letting my boyfriend see me in full light!
Q. I still feel a bit awkward about the idea of letting my boyfriend see me without a stitch on during the daytime, or with the lights on after dark. I'm pretty comfortable about most of my body being unclothed but when it comes to the parts hidden by ...
A. 18 July 2011: This is so common. My gf was the same way in the beginning. Over time you will realize that he loves your body and that you have nothing to be insecure about. Take slow steps to reveil yourself to him. Try a little more light every once and a while ... (read in full...)
She was upset because I was looking at porn again and then I left.
Q. long story short. me and my exgf had a controlling and abusive relationship. we are really crazy about each other. i betrayed her trust with a porn issue I was working on but didn't fix fast enough. she found out each time and basically never ...
A. 16 July 2011: I don't think there is a porn issue here. You obviously were not addicted to it and just wanted to use it for your own time which every man or woman is entitled too. Porn is only a problem if it actually affects the relationship here. I think the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really tall, how can I kiss him?
Q. My boyfriend is really tall and he wants to kiss me but I dont know how to kiss a tall guy :-( help...
A. 16 July 2011: He'll lean down. It is basically always up to the taller person to compensate for the height because lets face it, he can't expect you to grow taller when you want to kiss him. ... (read in full...)
Is dating this girl worth losing a friend over?
Q. Okay so im haveing alittle trouble deciding what to do. So ill start off in the begining So my freind started dating this girl. they were going out for the past 4 months and in that time the three of us would hang out alot. Now my friend is kinda of...
A. 14 July 2011: Considering this is probably a longer term friendship that you have with him I would definitely ask him if he is ok with it. The willingness to throw away a good friendship for a girl is generally a stupid move because in the end your friends would ... (read in full...)
I'm secretly dating my ex-boyfriend's brother! I'm worried I'm going to lose him! Help!
Q. i broke up with my recent ex 3 weeks ago, we were only together a week and a half and we didnt get on at all in that time, unfortunatly we did sleep together once or twice and ive been best mates with his brother since before we got together. his ...
A. 13 July 2011: First off if his brother (your ex) has moved on and it was only a week thing I can't see why he would be all that upset about it unless he has reason to think you were a bad person and would hurt his brother. It's not like you two were married or ... (read in full...)
I didn't tell my boyfriend that it hurt when he fingered me!
Q. My boyfriend just recently fingered me, and it hurt. I have never had sex or anything before that was the first time, i didnt want to tell him it hurt me because it might have lowered his confidence and made him feel bad. Is it normal to hurt the ...
A. 13 July 2011: It is quite common that it will hurt the first time or the first few times. I don't see how it would hurt his confidence. Let him know to go slower and maybe only one finger and so on until it doesn't hurt. That shouldn't hurt his confidence and if ... (read in full...)
Giving Away My Girl to My Best Friend
Q. No actual names are used My name is Steve and I am a junior at the University of South Caroline. I have been dating Jenifer for nearly 5 months, no rings yet. The other day I had a massive scheduling conflict and had to choose between taking J...
A. 9 July 2011: I have had this sort of thing happen in the past and I have to say it is one of the nicest things to do for a guy friend when he is happy with her. Think about how special she was to you and if it's really not that much and you know you can get ... (read in full...)
Is there a subtle way to suggest trying bondage?
Q. This is going to sound strange, but I want to experiment with bondage. I love being controlled in the bedroom and I want to ask my boyfriend about it. What is the most subtle way I can suggest this to him? Is there a subtle way to do this?...
A. 9 July 2011: I think it would be easiest to start of slow by asking him to spank you or pin you down while he does things to you. Then you can work your way up to the full thing when he already sees the direction that you are going with this. If you try to jump ... (read in full...)
Parents, do you think a 19 year old female should have a curfew??
Q. Several months ago my family "adopted" a 19 year old girl who was in need of some help and guidance to get her life back on track and graduate high school. Things are going really well, except for one thing. We dissagree on what time she should ...
A. 6 July 2011: Here's some input from someone who is 20. I see that she wants to come home basically whenever she is tired or is done with the party, friends or guy she is with. I understand your concern. I tend to stay out and have gotten home at 6 am or a few ... (read in full...)
Not ready to be a mom but also won't consider abortion! My boyfriend is an alcoholic and my family is extremely religious. Help!
Q. ok so if you have been keeping up with my other questions you will know the whole story but if not i will make it a 'long story cut short' ok so i am in a lets just say 'rocky' relationship and i have now wound up pregnant. i have just turned 19 s...
A. 6 July 2011: You could give it up for adoption. If you act now there you can have a family ready to adopt. This way you understand that the baby will be in a good home and it should be completely fine in terms of religion.
It shows that you understand you may ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilt about imagining sex with my ex-girlfriend's best friend!
Q. Few weeks back, I masturbated while imagining sex with my ex-girlfriend's best friend and I did that for like two consecutive days . Afterwards and now I am feeling guilty for having done that stupid thing as she used to give me so much respect. ...
A. 5 July 2011: Don't feel guilty about this. The whole point of masturbating is to have fantasies that would most likely never happen so that in your head you can live them out. It doesn't mean that you would actually do those things.
Getting rid of the guilt come... (read in full...)
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