| Latest articles: Women and Men: Being Equal
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 January 2011: When your in a relationship, either married or dating I think it is safe to say that equality in that relationship is a very good thing. I'm interested in seeing what everyone can come up with for equality points in a relationship. I'm not really ...
Lost puppy effect.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 September 2010: With a friend of mine going through a break up at the moment I have noticed the common behavior of her bf which I want to call the lost puppy effect. Some back ground on the situation is that she broke up with him and is moving on and going through ...
To break up or not to break up? That is the question.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 February 2010: This article is inspired by two friends of mine who are together in a relationship and its for all those men and women who think that they want to end their realationship but don't quite know yet. All relationships hit rocky patches where you have...
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Neighbors are talking down about our family. Should I just overlook it?
Q. Hello, Like my family, I am educated, good-looking and working women with a good profile in an IT company (where sometimes i hv to work till late). My sis was also working in a 5 star hotel on a good profile. In addition to that we were all rounders...
A. 2 May 2012: From my experience with neighbours it is best not to even bother putting any time into dealing with those type of people. I have horrible neighbours so I choose not to deal with them at all. There are people on my street who I will stop to chat with ... (read in full...)
How can people not think of pornography as cheating?
Q. I have something bothering me i've read and discussed this and people say that a boyfriend using porn is no different than him imagining someone in his head but I strongly disagree. Masturbating to porn is alot worse it is an actual picture but ...
A. 2 May 2012: My thoughts on this is that it has been beaten to death and the simple response is there is no answer to your question. You have to stick to what you believe. If your partner does not hold the same values then either you find compromise or the ... (read in full...)
We had sex, and do these signs mean anything?
Q. Hi, so im 18. I liked this guy which is also my friend... He used to be a womenizer but he changed,he kissed,but he said once he is more for a combination. My friends think he probaly likes me. So anyway we had sex. He slept before with this...
A. 2 May 2012: I'm with honeypie in that you shouldn't call this other girl a slut since you do know that you did the same thing as she did. The only difference is that you beat around the bush to get to sex and she just knew what she wanted from him and that was ... (read in full...)
How would you deal with finding out about a one night stand?
Q. Guys or Gals, please share your thoughts. What if you found out a year into your relationship that your girlfriend or boyfriend had a one night stand after being drunk at a bar with another guy/girl they barely knew only a few weeks before you both ...
A. 2 May 2012: I wouldn't feel great about it but the fact is that you two were not commited to each other so she didn't cheat. That's the trouble when people start seeing each other and expect the other person to be commited just because the two of you have been ... (read in full...)
Guys & kissing..likes and dislikes?
Q. Guys can you answer a few questions about kissing, do you like when girls use tongue or no tongue when they kiss you? Where do you like their hands to be, on your chest, arms, waist, back of your neck etc.? Also, do you like when a girl ...
A. 1 May 2012: I like the tongue but it has to be subtle, not all out licking your face.
The hands I am not picky about. If you are standing it can be awkward if you have your hands on his chest because they can get in the way of you two being close toge... (read in full...)
I'm on birth control, but I don't know why I haven't beaten the odds
Q. Im almost 17, And i cant stop thinking about being pregnant... I know this is odd, and i'm not crazy, its just, okay, Im faithful with my birth control pills, and me and my boyfriend do have sex a lot, and im just curious on how i'm not pregnant? t...
A. 1 May 2012: I agree with mishmash and using her statistic I will give my answer from the statistical point of view. Using the figure of 99.9% effective which means that probablity is there protecting you everytime that you have sex. If you have sex every day it ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be scared of having sex with a new guy?
Q. I have a question. Is it normal for me to be scared to have sex with a new guy? I've been having sex with 1 guy for 3 years and I had sex with him the most. He was the 2nd guy I ever had sex with. So I was wondering is it normal? I've met new guys...
A. 30 April 2012: Yeah that is normal and I would say that a good percentage of guys are in the same boat when it is a new girl. I know I get nervous because you don't have the past experience of what the person likes so there is alot to be figured out. Especially if ... (read in full...)
Guilt over cheating on my gf with my best girl friend has led to me breaking up with my best friend. Help?
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend of 2 years and told her and we have since broken up. I cheated on her with my best girl friend (the ex-gf and bf don't really know each other). I feel so guilty about cheating on my ex and have now broken things off with ...
A. 28 April 2012: Guilt is a hard thing to get rid of. To be honest those two people may always remind you of that guilt, however I don't see why you should lose your friend too. Remember though that there will always be that tension between you and it may conflict ... (read in full...)
Why do men only ever approach me for casual sex?
Q. Hi all, I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship. Nor have I ever been truly asked out or taken out on a date. I've had sex and guys pursue me with only this reason in mind it seems. I'm not a whore though and don't sleep with anyone/ever...
A. 27 April 2012: It sounds to me that the majority of guys on that site are only interested in hooking up with girls. Does this also also happen when you meet guys in person? A lot of the internet dating sites are used for nothing more then hooking up and you must ... (read in full...)
Why did he cum so fast?
Q. I hooked up with this guy. I was a virgin and he wasn't. I felt him in me but not all the way in but it felt good. Within less than a minute though, (really it was after about 4 thrusts) he said 'oh wait- sometimes the first time is a bit fast' a...
A. 26 April 2012: It sounds like he got too excited and came far too fast then was embarressed about it. My guess is that he was trying to see if he could get hard again with the same condom on and continue without you really noticing. Sometimes it is a problem that ... (read in full...)
Do priorities come into play when there's a large age gap?
Q. I'm wondering if age in dating makes a big difference. Recently I met this guy and hes a bit older than me. I just turned 21 and hes 34. We hit it off pretty well and we have the same views on a lot of things. I'm just wondering if it'd be a problem ...
A. 26 April 2012: I think that can be the main reason why the relationship doesn't work out. It would definitely be a good thing to talk to him casually about what he is looking for in life right now. You two may be on the same page or not. He may want to start a ... (read in full...)
I don't want my gay friend to like me, what shall I do?
Q. I have a friend who is gay. Im straight but i still want to be his friend because hes cool. but im affraid he might think im gay and start hitting on me or something. important note: i am not attracted to sexually i only want to be his friend ...
A. 26 April 2012: If he starts to get a little to close to him then I would just explain that you aren't interested in him that way. This isn't any different then when you have a friend who is female who you are attracted to but you know it stays as friends. Same ... (read in full...)
Does it sound as if my ex-boyfriend could be the motive behind this?
Q. It's been almost a year since the break-up between my ex and I, and we haven't spoken to each other since. Well, when I decided to check my Facebook page I noticed that I had a new friend request. So I simply clicked to find out who it was, and it ...
A. 23 April 2012: I say go with your gut feeling for this one. It not like it is even difficult to avoid this issue which is good for you. It may be harmless but it's not worth the risk. ... (read in full...)
Does it sound as if my ex-boyfriend could be the motive behind this?
Q. It's been almost a year since the break-up between my ex and I, and we haven't spoken to each other since. Well, when I decided to check my Facebook page I noticed that I had a new friend request. So I simply clicked to find out who it was, and it ...
A. 22 April 2012: It does sound too suspicious to just be a coincidence that the son all of a sudden wants to contact you. I also take it that your ex is much older then you just on the basis of the 13 year old son. I think something is going on hear and since you ... (read in full...)
What is your opinion on a 25 year age gap ?
Q. Is it too much ? Because for the past 2 years i have been really attracted to someone who is 25 years older . I am not looking for 'the father figure' or he isn't looking for 'sex' . But would it be stupid for us to try and date? Is the gap just too ...
A. 22 April 2012: I think that is way to large of an age gap. The things that make up your individual lives is so different. You two may be able to spend some good time together but where does the future go. I'm not one to care what the family would think about it ... (read in full...)
If you invite your date to your house is that signaling you want sex?
Q. does inviting your date into your house after the date mean you want to have sex? we meant on line, had 2 dates, where I met him there. i said he could pick me up for hte 3rd date. he seems kind of cheap and i suspect he may be dating other peo...
A. 21 April 2012: I think if you invite him in before the date then no he won't but if it is at the end of the evening then yeah he will most likely be expecting something.
It all depends on the timing. ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend because of his nosey aunt?
Q. My question is do I break up with him because I really can't stand his aunt? I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I have decided to move in with him for 3 months while he does his internship out of state. My boyfriend's aunt...
A. 20 April 2012: I don't think that justifies a break up. You two have been together for that long and this would end it. Is there any other things that are wrong? I would never use that quote because that lady won't be around 100% of the time. Tell him you would ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not attracted to my gf anymore, but I still love her
Q. Man... How to explain this without sounding like a jerk... My girlfriend was never really the hot and sexy type of girl, but whenever she dressed up well she would look really beautiful. She also has a great personality, which is probably why I ...
A. 18 April 2012: Well that sounds a lot like what happened to me last year with my then gf of over two years. Now you know that you two have problems and now it comes down to whether you think that they are worth working through or if it is already over. I can't ... (read in full...)
Is this a sign that he likes me?
Q. Theres this guy I like .....lets say his name is Josh. He's a guy I've known for awhile now and who I've been txtin for quite a bit lately. We went to the movies this past Tuesday, we talked and laughed at each others comments. We then went to get a ...
A. 17 April 2012: It sounds like he likes you to me. He also sounds like he is a little shy which is why it is good for you to make the first move and let him know that you are interested instead of waiting around for him. I think you will really find out next time ... (read in full...)
Do feelings get stronger the more you sleep with someone?
Q. So i've heard many times how women have to have emotion usually before they sleep with someone an men there emotions come after the sex. Is that true? The more you sleep with someone, feelings do end up getting stronger...
A. 17 April 2012: I would say that the simple answer to that question is no, feelings don't automatically grow stronger when the guy sleeps with a girl even if there were already feelings there to begin with. Typically the more you sleep with someone the more time ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and my parents are super strict!
Q. This is probably going to sound immature but i have to do this. I'm 19 years old and my parents are super strict. According to them I have to be home by 10 pm until I move out. I can't sleep over guys houses nor party or basically anything a 19 ...
A. 16 April 2012: I'm sorry to hear about your situation because I have definitely seen this before. Is there any chance you are capable of moving out. If so I would use that against them and say that this is what you are doing, it's not being irresponsible and if ... (read in full...)
How do I manage my newly aggressive 12 year son?
Q. i am the mother of a 12 yar old boy and as is he reaching teenage years he is starting to become aggressive in the last two weeks he has had two physical fights with his younger cousins who are too young to deal with him , my family is a close ...
A. 14 April 2012: It sounds to me like he has too much energy. I suggest some sort of physical sport where the aggression is appropriate. If a person is naturally going to be aggressive you can't just tell them not to be, they need to be given an outlet in which they ... (read in full...)
I told I'm pregnant, he said "I'll talk to you tomorrow, I don't want to say the wrong thing right now" what does that mean?
Q. Hello, Men! I need your advice, ladies your welcome to opinions as well. I've been dating a man long distance, known him for a year, dating for 5 months, we are not in a committed relationship but we do go and visit each other every 2 months, we ...
A. 14 April 2012: I think it was a good move on his part. Most people just try to solve all their problems right when they come up. He needs time to collect his thoughts and think about the events that have taken place without having someone elses imput or someone ... (read in full...)
I really want a tattoo of my deceased ex boyfriend's name but my friends think its a bad idea
Q. Okay, basically my ex boyfriend died in december, we had been broken up a couple months before he died but he was my first true love and never got over it and when he died it just tore me up even more. I feel like I've lost apart of me. I really ...
A. 11 April 2012: That's not a good idea. I am all for tattoos but if you put his name on your body then every guy you ever meet will have to hear the story. It will constantly sound like you are hung up on in and not ready to move on. I understand he will always ... (read in full...)
I am healthy, but have erectile dysfunction, without a reason, what should I do?
Q. I'm a healthy guy in my late 40"s. But I have some pretty disturbing problem, and I don't know what to do.So I have erectile dysfunction, and I have no idea why. I had a very high sex drive, but now, I have no wish to have sex at all, and when I ...
A. 5 April 2012: It could be that the doctor missed something here, but there are definitely things that you can try such a cialis. If all your wife hears is that the tests were fine then I see why she would start to get those thoughts. Even though it is one of the ... (read in full...)
I have red hair & very fair skin, I am always the subject of jokes, do people really find this unattractive??
Q. Okay so I am cursed (or blessed depending on how you look at it) with naturally red hair and super pale skin(even if I get sunburnt it just becomes even paler) and I was wondering if people actually find this to be such a bad thing. I have had to ...
A. 5 April 2012: People make jokes because they just follow the group but the jokes will fade with time. I am personally attracted to the natural red hair and I know a lot of people who are as well so no it is not an unattractive trait. It's just that jokes are easy ... (read in full...)
I let my b/f watch porn during oral sex. Is that a bad thing to do?
Q. Okay so, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I let him watch porn while I give him oral sex. It's never when we have sex, but my question is I feel like he's being turned on by the girls on the internet, is this okay or am I putting my ...
A. 5 April 2012: I think that porn can be worked into a healthy relationship. I have watched porn while having sex and we both enjoyed it a lot. Just like everything in this world you don't want it to become an excess and be an all the time thing.
He's is bein... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend think it 'works' to wink at me during oral sex?
Q. I have a quick question. What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you eye contact and winks at you when he is giving you oral sex?.He winks at me other times as well, but it surprised me when he did that during oral sex....
A. 4 April 2012: He probably thinks it is a turn on for you to see him looking up at you while in the act. It is a big turn on for a lot of guys to actually see what is going on so he may be thinking that it is for you as well. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for guys to carry a knife?
Q. Hi, I have a short, but somewhat odd question: is it normal for guys to carry knives? A guy that I'm thinking about dating carries one and I don't understand why. I tried to ask him but my friend was there and she just said: "why wouldn't he carry a ...
A. 4 April 2012: I would call it pretty normal as long as it isn't a big knife or some sort of switch blade. To be honest I need to have one handy to open envelopes so they do come in handy quite often. I always have a swiss army knife in my back pack. It's not made ... (read in full...)
I slept with another girl when we broke up and she cant forgive me, any advice?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a year now and at about the half way point we hit a snag a "took a break" We are young but really in love and I think she may be the one for me. But back to the "break" see when we took this 2 week break I ...
A. 4 April 2012: The thing is you didn't mess up as much as you think. You are right in that it wasn't cheating and you shouldn't have to apologize although it is good that you did. Try explaining it to her in a different way such as: yes during your break you slept ... (read in full...)
Going out as friend when he's in a relationship?
Q. Okay, the last 4/5 weekends I've been hanging out with the guys and become quite friendly with one of them, he has a girlfriend. He has asked if I would like to go out for a meal with him and a couple of drinks. Its not a date but what I want ...
A. 3 April 2012: Just make sure his girlfriend is ok with it. Maybe you could meet her first before spending time with him. That way you are showing her that you can be trusted. In all honesty though his gf is not really your concern she should trust her bf to have ... (read in full...)
Men: what do you prefer? Boobs? or butts?
Q. Hi guys as a matter of opinion what do you prefer in women: boobs or a nice firm ass? I have to admit I am an ass man but what do you prefer?...
A. 3 April 2012: I prefer a nice small firm ass. It's a physical attribute that I notice very early on. The boobs come later because I do prefer smaller breasts, the kind that don't jump out in your face.
Other then those two the first thing I notice would have... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has not added me on facebook, should I be worried?
Q. Hi. Please help. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and have agreed to be in a relationship. However, one thing is bothering me. He has not added me to his friends on Facebook. Should I be worried?...
A. 3 April 2012: No you shouldn't be worried. I think it is best that facebook is kept out of the relationship so you can focus on the realtionship itself without the pressure of searching through his facebook. I would talk to him about but you should respect the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to say to a child "I will break your legs"?
Q. Do you think its right that a mother would say to her own child "I will break your legs"?. My mom said this to my little brother who is nearly twenty but still lives at home. Apparently someone approached her and said he was with her daughter buying ...
A. 2 April 2012: That is an inappropriate threat to be making to anyone unless you have the intentions of actually doing it. If she doesn't like the way he is living his life I would think she would threaten to kick him out of the house.
You are right in that it i... (read in full...)
How to deal with lies at school?
Q. I know this isn't the usual type of question for this site, but I pray you will help me anyway. there's this guy at school, who is spreading vicious lies about me [he's telling everyone I told him i'd be happy if he killed himself] when I ...
A. 27 March 2012: One of the best things you can do is not lose your cool when he says anything or when other people say things. If you get mad then it tends to look like he is telling the truth. I would definitely let your friends see that you are upset over this ... (read in full...)
Question for the guys: Why do married men flirt?
Q. I have a question from you guys. Why married men flirt? They want to get in to your pants? They want to add just a little flavor to their day? Or to see if they are still capable of attracting someone? So what is it? Why I am always a target, ok I ...
A. 24 March 2012: Men and women never stop noticing the opposite sex and flirting tends to be the most comfortable way that people interact with the opposite sex. It's not that they want anything further or that they are not happy with their marriages. You should be ... (read in full...)
Do men stop using porn when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, us women need hope is there any men here who stop using porn/looking at it when they have a girlfriend? ...
A. 22 March 2012: That is a personal choice and what you should consider is to stop hoping for guys to stop like it is some horrible thing that ruins every reltionship because that is far from the case, for the most part. As long as the relationship is healthy it ... (read in full...)
I want my ex to know the relationship is over!
Q. My ex and I have dated for a little over two years. I sort of ended our relationship the last week of February by email. We had broken up twice before than and had always reconciled, which the best idea. But, I was in love for the first time, in m...
A. 22 March 2012: It sounds like you made it clear to him that the relationship was over so there really isn't anything that you should do. It's over and you have no obligation to ever talk to him again. Don't just stop talking to him for the moment, just stop all ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: I would say that they are the same, just that they appeal to different senses therefore different people will turn to one or the other but yet in the end there is a sense of sexual pleasure from the act. Romance can be the best porn for some so ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend looks at porn a lot. Is this normal?
Q. Hello, quick question here. i've been cheeky and stalked my boyfriend's internet history. i'm happy that i found normal porn, but the amount he looks at is quite a lot. in the 24 hours that he didn't see me, he looked at it twice. he pretty much loo...
A. 14 March 2012: Chances are it isn't a sign of an unhealthy relationship at all. I feel that I am the same way so as long as the realionship and sex life is good there is nothing to worry about. A lot of the time it's not as much about the sexual part of it as it ... (read in full...)
Can 13 year-olds find a lasting relationship, or is this just puppy love?
Q. Ok... know a lot of you will disagree with my view on this but oh well...I'm 13, and I have a boyfriend of 8 months, we really get along and we have almost everything in common, he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too but then i felt ...
A. 14 March 2012: To be honest it is unlikely but not impossible at all. I don't have any personal evidence that it can happen but I do believe that it can in some cases. You just have to take it day by day and see where it takes you. That way even if it does end you ... (read in full...)
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