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*he old Man? agony aunt

*he old Man?

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*he old Man?'s profile:

Born in 1960 and growing up in the Midwest, I hit the ground running at a very young age. I had experienced things at age 10, that many didn't until their late teens, if ever.

I was married right out of high school, it lasted maybe a year, and have not been married since. I was never gifted with having children of my own. However,I dated and had a long term relationship with a woman with two beautiful daughters in which I spent nearly 10 years of my life with. With that, I don't claim to be an expert on raising kids by any stretch of the imagination. However, it was a great experience of seeing first hand the things that kids will try and pull on their parents, and how some parents are blind to what their kids are doing.

When I hear someone say "my kid wouldn't do that", I laugh inside, OK, sometimes out loud! Being a man about the town, I've witnessed peoples kids doing the things they thought they'd never do.

I've lived my life the way I wanted to. I didn't let anything stand in my way. I've pretty much done it all. Booze, drugs, trouble, chased women, raised hell and had a great ole time while doing it!

Though being a wild one, I managed to maintain being self employed from age 21 until 4 years ago.Standing at 48 years old and single,I now have a "job", and am looking to start another business.

Life has thrown some me some real hard balls, Many of which I behaved myself in to. I try make the best of every situation, and learn from my mistakes. I have settled down tremendously, and am hoping to live the second half of my life the way most people do their first. (Marriage, maybe kids??)

I joined this site to share my life lessons with others. I am a realist, and I call things the way I see them. I am very open minded and a good listener. I also believe that often times, we know the answers to our own questions, but just need for someone to tell us.

I've always been the one that people came to for advice. One of my favorite things I tell people is,

"I can straighten out anyone in the worlds problems, except for my own"!

If you would like to talk with me, please feel free to use the private mail feature.

I'm here to have fun and hopefully meet some new friends along the way!

Thanks for reading!

12345Next > [5 pages, 153 answers]

Does my bf want me or am I just there to fill his emotional need when he wants me?

Q.   Hi, I'm in a Long distance relationship. We have been going out for 5 months, we were together for the first 2 months and Long distance for the past 3 months. The first month if LDR was great, we would text and call each other all the time, he...

A.   25 November 2012: You are putting yourself through brutal agony when the answers are right in front of you. When you told him "goodbye tc with life", he replied with " bye baby". You ask " why won't he let me go when I try to leave?" He did let you go! Y... (read in full...)

I had a boyfriend, cheating on him, and then found out the other guy was getting married in 2 weeks!

Q.   Sorry in advance if this gets long. I've been in a relationship (if you want to call it that) with this guy for the past two and a half years. I found out about eight months into it that he had a girlfriend but I stuck around in the hopes that ...

A.   6 October 2010: First off, I hope I don't sound harsh or hurtful, but this is what I hear you saying: For nearly 2 years you were in a relationship with guy #1, you thought things were great until 8 months ago when you found out that he has a girlfriend. Then... (read in full...)

Why do I still feel sad for my finished marriage?

Q.   I just left home of my 2 year marriage, it was so sad to leave my house and my husband, even when he changed the locks on me and I had to call the cops so they convince him to come and open the door for me. Am I too weak or what... I mean, ...

A.   4 October 2010: It sounds like you've experienced alot of drama. That will drain you emotionally and leave some feelings that I only wish I could explain. But it sounds like you are experiencing them. When you spend that much time with someone they become p... (read in full...)

Did he have sex with others? Should I believe him when he says no?

Q.   we lived together for six years ,he ended up moving out,its been a year we started to salvage the relationship,we havent been sexually active in this year i was waiting for him to treat me better and he is showing me that he is somewhat . So I asked ...

A.   3 October 2010: I'm going to have to agree with Toomuch stress! You're already off on a bad foot with your mistrust and demanding that he do something. I hate to be a pessimist,but I'm sorry to say that with the mistrust and turmoil that is present this ear... (read in full...)

High maintainence and too demanding?

Q.   My boyfriend never seems to understand why I get frustrated when he is constantly late to meet me somewhere etc. It may seem like I pick at little things but I'm not just talking minutes late, I'm talking hours. Now, I'm certain that he loves me, ...

A.   2 October 2010: No, you're not unreasonable. What he is doing is very disrespectful. His "making it up to you" is being manipulative. He is showing you that he can do whatever he wants, and you will sit there and take it. I'm betting that whenever he want... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years. Within the first year he was always kissing me, cuddling me, etc....but now he barely comes near me. It's ME who's always going to HIM, i've tried that thing where 'you let them come to you' but i ...

A.   2 October 2010: While many people say that a relationship can't be based upon sex, I am always the one who will chime in and add the part of :: Yeah, but a lack of it can sure ruin one! You're in a heck of a situation here. Luckily, you aren't married. The... (read in full...)

His family won't come to the wedding on the date we've planned

Q.   my husband and i have been planning a wedding he refused to tell his parents from the beginning because he was afraid of their response since his mother doesn't like me much. we asked his aunt to tell his dad about the plans and his dad has said the ...

A.   2 October 2010: With this sort of tension between you and his family, do you feel this marriage is in your best interest? It sounds like you have more things to be thinking about other than a wedding date. I realize that a wedding is every womans dream, but isn'... (read in full...)

I broke up with first love but don't know how to move on

Q.   I broke up with my long term boyfriend about 6 months ago because i had completely lost myself in the relationship due to his manipulative ways. I knew he wasn't happy in himself and with these insecurities came bad behaviour which i learnt to ...

A.   2 October 2010: You're in a very rough spot right now. It will take time to heal. You have made some very difficult, yet wise decisions. You are a VERRY strong person!!!! I realize it sounds so simple for me to say this, but all the while, I know it will be ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me too much to leave so why am I so confused

Q.   i had previously gotten some advice bcuz my bf cant get over my past which i cheated on my ex husband he says i will always b a cheater and at times puts me down.. he is hurt at the fact that i wuz not the girl he expected me to be... but i think he ...

A.   2 October 2010: Oooooh boy... Good news and bad news. Yes, he does love you. Letting go of you is very hard for him to do. It's that love/ hate thing. Not that he hates YOU, but he hates that part of you. He's never going to trust you no matter what you d... (read in full...)

He wants his ex-wife back, but wants to have sex with me?

Q.   This is a really weird question but please help me. I have been chatting with a 40 year old guy on the internet for about a year. I am 18. We started talking about all kinds of things when we first met, but now it's pretty much about sex. I'm not ...

A.   1 October 2010: As an older guy, I know that guys my age and girls your age CAN have a lot in common other than sex! However, that doesn't seem to be the case here. It appears that he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear in an effort to have sex with yo... (read in full...)

Should we see a relationship counselor or should I not even bother?

Q.   Hello, My boyfriend (or ex, I don't know) says that he doesn't want to be together anymore because a lot of things about me annoy him. However, he is willing to pay to see a relationship councellor (which I am not). Why does he want to see one ...

A.   30 September 2010: I think you know the answer. Those quirky little things about you that annoy the daylights out of him, in time you will find someone who just adores them. Don't change for anyone! Also, hopefully you don't/ didn't allow him to make you think t... (read in full...)

He's married, but I like him!

Q.   Hi! I've been working in my current job for a few years now, and everything was really nice until a new colleague joined us in the office. He's hot, I mean really hot, and nice and kind and gentle and funny and all the other good things about a ...

A.   30 September 2010: DON'T! 1. He is married! Do you really want to be responsible for tearing a family apart? 2. If you were married, pregnant etc. would you want some other chick sniffing around your man? Thinking thoughts that she'd look better with him than yo... (read in full...)

When we were together he seemed interested.. but now is not making an effort to talk to me.

Q.   I met a guy at a college party and he ended up giving me a ride home.. turns out we lived really close so he invited me to his place before taking me home and we ended up watching a movie. He slowly did the whole putting his arm around me and was ...

A.   29 September 2010: Perhaps he is doing the same thing to you that girls do to guys. When they are together, they act just as he does, yet when apart, they act just as he does. By "ignoring" you, so to speak, he is making you want him. Is it working? ;-) ... (read in full...)

Is there a scandal here?

Q.   Hi, I've used this site before and found it really helpful so here we go again. I have been with my partner for eight years now and he's great to me a really nice guy. Two weeks ago i met someone while i was out a friend of a friend ans he was real...

A.   28 September 2010: This is a change of pace, I actually agree with everyone! Here's my two cents worth.. If you're in a relationship with one person, you shouldn't be out getting "attention" from anyone else. Add alcohol, and things can get real ugly real f... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my sister-in-law's brother and everyone in my family is against it!

Q.   hey, i am 17 and i am HEAD OVER HEELS in love with this guy thats 24 and he tells me that he is MADLY in love with me but....my ENTIRE family is against him he is my brothers wifes brother and omg he is amazing...he has a gf that is a couple months ...

A.   28 September 2010: Wow, this guy sounds like a real charmer! He's 24, did 7 years in prison and is now having sex with a 17 year old in a van. Real class act there! Being he HAS a girlfriend that he is cheating on, what do you suppose the chance would be that he... (read in full...)

Husband resents to advance income

Q.   Dear Agony aunts, I dont know what to say, i feel so frustrated, to sum it up, i will refer my husband to the quote , "he talks the talk but never walks the walk," .. he always says lets invest in this, lets do that, lets move to another house, l...

A.   27 September 2010: I really don't know what your question is, but I do understand your situation. Some people WANT more, but they are so afraid to make the move! An observation of people that I have made is: Some people are employers, some are employees. It's ... (read in full...)

Are her parents holding us back?

Q.   I have fallen in love and started a relationship with a girl 12 years my junior. i'm 31 and she is 19. We get on so well, we can talk to each other about anything, we share similar interests, we enjoy each others company. we both feel the same about ...

A.   27 September 2010: You're kind of between a rock and a hard place! Facts being that you are both old enough to make your own decisions, and there is no need to ask anyones parents for permission. However. You are living with your parents also. How do you feel ... (read in full...)

Is a 24 year age gap too much?

Q.   Am I being unrealistic? Is a 24 year age gap to much? I am 26, he is 50. I've always said to people, age doesn't matter. But that's when I was offering advice to my friends. Now it is a situation that has arisen for me, and I have my doubts! ...

A.   26 September 2010: Age doesn't matter, it's how the two of you feel about one another. To say that he "only has a few years of good health" is ridiculous. The man is only 50! As far as his sex drive, YOU will increase that! Besides, isn't it the men 30+ co... (read in full...)

I am dating a man 37 yrs older than me

Q.   i am dating a guy that is 37 yrs older than me. i love him like i never loved anyone else and he loves me the same way or even more. my question is: Is it okay that i am dating a guy 37 yrs older than me? we have plans on moving in together but idk ...

A.   25 September 2010: Love has no age restrictions! If the two of you are happy, go for it! Yes, you will hear the "gold digger" crap and the other snide comments that go along with an inter generational relationship. It just shows peoples ignorance. The bit about... (read in full...)

I don't want her talking to my old bestfriend but she does anyways!

Q.   My girlfriend acts like she loves me so much and that she wants to talk to me soo much every day. we have a long distance relationship because she moved to canada but every day she inboxes me on facebook saying how she misses me so much and how she ...

A.   25 September 2010: My first question to you is Why do you trust her? You say that she changed her Facebook password, yet she logged into your e mail. So it's OK for her to get into your e mail, but you'd better leave hers alone? WRONG! She told the guy that she... (read in full...)

Girfriend thinks I'm cheating and threw my stuff out!

Q.   My girlfriend of 1 year thinks i am cheating on her when i know that i'm not how do i prove it. I went to work 1 day she said she found a pair of my socks downstairs under a table in a locked room which i have no key to and it has an alarm on the ...

A.   25 September 2010: If she is falsely accusing you of cheating and claims to have found your sox in a locked room in which you have no key to, she herself is up to something. It has been my experience that when I was accused of doing something that I didn't do, and ... (read in full...)

He wants actions of affection but doesn't return them!

Q.   Hello, Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a 1 1/2. My boyfriend expects me to give him affection example: Give him foot rubs, Scratch his back, Play with his hair And massaging his hands and fingers. Sometimes We rub each others ...

A.   25 September 2010: It means that he sees the relationship as "all about him". A good relationship is one of give and take. That does not mean that you give, and he takes! If he is that selfish with simple things like foot rubs and all of the things that shou... (read in full...)

I left my alcoholic husband but now I'm afraid and don't know how to make it!

Q.   I just left my Alcoholic husband with my 2 kids. I moved from Washington state to Michigan for him cause he said that everything would get better. I have been fighting him with this disease for 5 years. Finaly after him driving with the kids drunk I ...

A.   11 July 2010: Realizing that you live in Michigan, I "hear" that the states economy isn't the greatest. I understand and support you completely as to why you do not want for you or your kids to live in that environment. I'm too familiar with living around a... (read in full...)

Big age difference, he has left wife with five kids, can this relationshio survive??

Q.   What should one do when they have met a guy who is a lot older than themselves and married with five children but the marriage is not good. That guy then askes you out and this then causes major upset for their family. I mean real upset, parents ...

A.   11 July 2010: Honeypie hit it pretty good. I could say the same things only in different words, but what's the sense? I do not agree with the "so long as you're happy" bit. That is selfish! That's the same as "All about me" Are you sure he's not happy?... (read in full...)

Is it normal to hide your feelings when you have a crush?

Q.   Please tell me if this is normal or not, but I hate it when I start to crush on a girl because I feel weak, mainly because I don`t have the confedence to tell her I like her or anything like that. When I crush on a girl, I just feel like a coward ...

A.   8 July 2010: You're normal! What you are experiencing is something that will come and go as your confidence level changes. Don't ever think yourself dumb. I'm sure you have something that you're good at, that maybe others your age aren't. You probably don... (read in full...)

My 18 year old son is dating someone my age!!

Q.   My 18 year old son has started dating a 35 year old woman, which is my age, I am having alot of different feeings, from near break down to breaking her in half. I don't want to do the wrong thing and push him closer to her. I can't imagine dating ...

A.   8 July 2010: I agree with Karen,Bernard, anonymous, and Loraemoon. He is 18 and an adult. Think back to when you were 18. Did you want mom & dad telling YOU what to do? Who you could or could not see? It's the same thing. Like it or not, you need to step awa... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as a non boyfriend?

Q.   hey this is a long one but i really need opinions here so please read through :) about 4 months ago months ago, one of my housemates and i started hooking up (gonna call him Tim). hes 27 and im 21. at first it was just fun making out and stuff bu...

A.   6 August 2009: I'm kind of seeing this from a different perspective. Though I wish it were I who had this fantastic luck, it was two of my friends. They started palling around as "just friends". For 6 or 8 months, they hung out and did all sorts of stuff to... (read in full...)

Why will she no longer let me cum in her mouth?

Q.   hello there, i find myself getting a little frustrated/resentful these days and have gone to counselling and been very open about the matter with my fiance. now i understand this topic may sound offensive or degrading to some women/men on h...

A.   6 August 2009: So this is a "deal breaker" huh? WOW! It's nice to see that you have your priorities in line. Perhaps you need some counseling in other areas of your life. ... (read in full...)

Would it be proper to ask a guy to hang out at your house on a first get together?

Q.   i am thinking of asking the guy i like out and i think he will say yes as i know he likes me as well. i was thinking that we could hang out at my house as i know neither of us has a lot of money. is this okay to do for a first date or would it be ...

A.   21 July 2009: First of all, I want to commend you for thinking of the fact of money being tight. That's a cool gesture on your behalf! I think you could pull this off. When you say "just two people hanging out", that's not always a bad thing. It gives you both... (read in full...)

How do I get to know him without being too obvious?

Q.   There's a guy I'd be very interested in getting to know more. He's a friend of a friend of mine and seems a lot more mature than most guys my age (normally I have to go for guys at least 10 years older than me to get this kind of maturity). The ...

A.   21 July 2009: Perhaps you could poke around and find where he works, or hangs out, then casually show up there. Do the ole "fancy meeting you here" routine, and take it from there. Maybe he's thinking the same things that you are, and you're both afraid t... (read in full...)

My sister's boyfriend tried it on with me, and my sister doesn't believe me! Help!

Q.   hey guys and gals,Ive Got A Major Problem. I think my sisters boyfriend likes me because i was sitting in the living room with my sister and her boyfriend. I wasnt really paying attention to them because i was txtin my bf. And She said she was going ...

A.   20 July 2009: I'm going to have to agree with Sincerely Yours and Celiaaletta. His behavior is not acceptable, and in time, your sister will find him doing the same thing with someone else. Then maybe she'll believe you. But meanwhile,,, Let the boyfriend do... (read in full...)

How do I talk about us without scarring him off?

Q.   I've started seeing a guy. We've been seeing each other for about a month and had lots of fun, we were kind of friends before and it's been great getting to know each other. The problem is that I'm going travelling in 2 months. He knows this and I ...

A.   20 July 2009: It seems that timing isn't always on our side, but being that it bothers him when you bring up the subject, I see that as an indication that he has feelings for you as well. Perhaps you could say something to the effect of " ya know, I really e... (read in full...)

I'm the boss's daughter, but his mom is my supervisor. We like each other but don't know if dating would be inappropriate. Help!

Q.   Alright so I work at this tiny little store with only like 5 employees. So we're all a pretty close-knit group. Well, this one kid and I have gotten really close, to the point where he admitted that he likes me and wants to date me. Awesome, ...

A.   20 July 2009: Dating within the workplace has a strong tendency to create problems all the way around. I see that you're young, yet I admire that you consider as to if this is appropriate. Being familiar with family business, and the "snugness" that goes alo... (read in full...)

Should I believe this will work or should I believe that "history" is going to repeat itself?

Q.   Dear Cupid, About a year ago I left my man due to the fact he stopped listening to me, started screaming and yelling @ me instead of talking to me and he was being just down right sneaky!! During the time we were broken up we still communic...

A.   19 July 2009: I'm afraid you're right about the history repeating itself. There's no need to feel like a fool, even though that's a hard one to overcome. You were merely following your heart and giving things another try. You deserve someone who wants to be ... (read in full...)

I left my hubby but the other guy doesn't want me unless he is drunk, what can I do?

Q.   Hi guys, I would really appreciate some help with a relationship problem. I recently left my husband after getting drunk and hooking up with my best friend. Basically, I couldn't stand the thought of lying to my husband every day, and feel l...

A.   18 July 2009: I'm not trying to sound harsh or cruel, but you've gotten exactly what a cheater deserves! You left your husband for a drunken f**k buddy, and now you realize that his only interest in you is sex. Sad to say, don't be surprised if you husband n... (read in full...)

I left my hubby but the other guy doesn't want me unless he is drunk, what can I do?

Q.   Hi guys, I would really appreciate some help with a relationship problem. I recently left my husband after getting drunk and hooking up with my best friend. Basically, I couldn't stand the thought of lying to my husband every day, and feel l...

A.   18 July 2009: I'm not trying to sound harsh or cruel, but you've gotten exactly what a cheater deserves! You left your husband for a drunken f**k buddy, and now you realize that his only interest in you is sex. Sad to say, don't be surprised if you husband n... (read in full...)

I like my friends ex, but now she's flirting with him again! What do I do?

Q.   For a few months now i've started to become really good friends with my friend's ex *paul ... after him and my friend *Sara broke up i helped him out alot and were really close friends... Now i like him more than a friend..and he knows this and w...

A.   18 July 2009: Your situation is the exact reason why you shouldn't become involved with a friends ex. No matter what, there is going to be problems. You don't like seeing her flirt with him, no more than she likes to see you flirt with him. How importan... (read in full...)

Should we be friends again?

Q.   Hey, Recently ive started to be much more upfront to people. I liked this girl from my neighbourhood for a long time, she messed me around abit and i got annoyed with her quite alot. She got a boyfriend and stuff..which annoyed me more.And Weve bee...

A.   18 July 2009: As you say, she's got a boyfriend, and that bothers you. Perhaps with the feelings you have for her is causing problems between the two of them. Causing her to treat you badly. Another thought, maybe she sees you as only a friend, and not a lover. ... (read in full...)

How do I find out if my partner is cheating?

Q.   How can I find out if my partner is cheating? My partner and i have been together for 2 years. Lately, he has spoken of moving in together yet emotionally we have become very distant from one another. I have problems trusting him, which became ...

A.   18 July 2009: Unfortunately, alcohol and lies go hand in hand. If he has a drinking problem and is lying to his mum as well as you, your suspicions may well be correct. The "how to find out if he's cheating" on the other hand is another issue. You could poss... (read in full...)

I want to do something creative to suprise my ex so he will accept me as a friend

Q.   i have broke up about 3 months ago, because my ex was cheating on me, i had known that he was doing that and i forgave him and we decided to be good friends. just 2days before the break up, till i had a call a girl that he was cheating with and ...

A.   16 July 2009: My best advice is move on. Leave him alone. Let him move on with your life. If he wanted you, he'd talk to you. Why do you need him in your life anyway? If he cheated on you, ignored your calls, and overall treated you bad when you were his girl... (read in full...)

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