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*he old Man? agony aunt

*he old Man?

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*he old Man?'s profile:

Born in 1960 and growing up in the Midwest, I hit the ground running at a very young age. I had experienced things at age 10, that many didn't until their late teens, if ever.

I was married right out of high school, it lasted maybe a year, and have not been married since. I was never gifted with having children of my own. However,I dated and had a long term relationship with a woman with two beautiful daughters in which I spent nearly 10 years of my life with. With that, I don't claim to be an expert on raising kids by any stretch of the imagination. However, it was a great experience of seeing first hand the things that kids will try and pull on their parents, and how some parents are blind to what their kids are doing.

When I hear someone say "my kid wouldn't do that", I laugh inside, OK, sometimes out loud! Being a man about the town, I've witnessed peoples kids doing the things they thought they'd never do.

I've lived my life the way I wanted to. I didn't let anything stand in my way. I've pretty much done it all. Booze, drugs, trouble, chased women, raised hell and had a great ole time while doing it!

Though being a wild one, I managed to maintain being self employed from age 21 until 4 years ago.Standing at 48 years old and single,I now have a "job", and am looking to start another business.

Life has thrown some me some real hard balls, Many of which I behaved myself in to. I try make the best of every situation, and learn from my mistakes. I have settled down tremendously, and am hoping to live the second half of my life the way most people do their first. (Marriage, maybe kids??)

I joined this site to share my life lessons with others. I am a realist, and I call things the way I see them. I am very open minded and a good listener. I also believe that often times, we know the answers to our own questions, but just need for someone to tell us.

I've always been the one that people came to for advice. One of my favorite things I tell people is,

"I can straighten out anyone in the worlds problems, except for my own"!

If you would like to talk with me, please feel free to use the private mail feature.

I'm here to have fun and hopefully meet some new friends along the way!

Thanks for reading!

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I don't know if I can walk away. What do I do?

Q.   I know my boyfriend loves me, he does tell me this and we would could potentially have a good life together in the future. We complement each other quite well. He's helped me with a lot of things in my life and helped me try to accept who I am. T...

A.   16 July 2009: Nothing says you have to forget the last 18 months, but honey, don't dwell on it. Take it as a learning experience. 18 months is no time at all. It's best to get out of an uncomfortable situation when you only have a short time in it, rather than 5 ... (read in full...)

Is thought we were moving toward a relationship, but now I'm not sure ...

Q.   Good Evening. My problem is with a work collegue. We've worked together for nearly two years (known each other even longer) and just recently we've become 'closer' I can;t explain how but there's something between us. We get on famously both in...

A.   16 July 2009: Fishing in the company pond is never a good idea. With the tension you're experiencing at a friendship level is uncomfortable, imagine how a relationship issue would be. Give him some time, keep it as friends only, hopefully it will mend it... (read in full...)

My love wanted to experiment with a threesome, so I ended it

Q.   Firstly i'd like to thank u all for helping me find solutions to my troubled questions . Here i am again in need of ur advice, i broke up with my boyfriend today and i feel horrible i don't no if what i done was the right thing to do.He stood by me ...

A.   16 July 2009: Well honey, it sounds like you did the right thing. In the first part of your story, you said that you had a bad experience with your brother in law. You say the Bf understood and was patient with you. Being that he is aware of that,and the fact... (read in full...)

I never loved him when we married

Q.   I am 34, i will be married 5 years in a few months. Truth is though i never loved him when we married, i did it so that i would not be alone anymore. He does not know how i truely feel about him, i smile at the right times, laugh on cue, agree to ...

A.   15 July 2009: You're in a hell of a bind here Doll. Staying with your current husband that you are not happy with, nor in love with, is merely wasting your life away. Next thing you know, you could be looking in the mirror at a 40 something year old you, and find ... (read in full...)

She is having cyber suggestions with her ex

Q.   I have been married nearly 2 years, together for over 4. We have always got along famously and with the exception of some normal (or abnormal) issues, always seem to be a great match. A few weeks ago she said she had some validation from her ex ...

A.   15 July 2009: The ol' sex with the ex situation. That's one that ruins more relationships than anything else. You say that technically, you were snooping. That's a gray area. As a married couple, there should be no secrets. You should have access to her e mail... (read in full...)

Am I asking too much of this man?

Q.   me and my boyfriend of 6yrs split up last week. Due to his unreasonable behaviour and attitude toward our relationship. i have had my share of being a bitch and i have also regretted it. I have done everything possible to make him see im sorry and ...

A.   15 July 2009: Though I stand confused on the the jumble of "I took his daughter to see her mum when we had fell out and never thought to tell me. This is the woman who tells me she wants her husband back and he wants her, never offers to pick me and his son up to ... (read in full...)

I've cheated on her 3 times, now she said she needs space! How can I rectify this problem?

Q.   My girlfriend says she needs space from me, because I cheated numerous times and she took me back every time (cheated about 3x). The last time I got caught she saw me in pictures with the other lady, she forgave me and gave me another chance and ...

A.   18 February 2009: Dude, you've screwed the pooch big time! Why on earth would you screw around when you have someone who loves you? On top of that, you have a child together. I'd say the ball is in her court. If she chooses to take your sorry ass back, You'd ... (read in full...)

Valentines day, how would you take it.

Q.   I am with my boyfriend for four years and two days before valentines day my 9 month old granddaughter (special needs) suffered a gran mol seizure. She was rushed to the hospital and released on valentines day. During this time I neglected to pick ...

A.   17 February 2009: I understand the situation with the grand child, but I also see his point! You said yourself that a month prior he felt you being distant. Women are notably good about planning ahead, and remembering things. There are gift shops in hospital... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me, should I take her back?

Q.   Dear friends, I know this is long but please be patient and I thank you for whoever reads my problems and help me out. I am very confused. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 months now. ONE: recently, my girlfriend only just told me...

A.   17 February 2009: I agree with putguy entirely! I do not carry the opinion of once a cheat, always a cheat. However. I do follow the rule of if you meet them cheating, you'll lose them cheating! You say that she learned her lesson, apparently not! It sounds as... (read in full...)

I fear sex is the only reason my ex wants me to visit him!

Q.   My boyfriend moved back to his home country for work. We decided to break up cos we thought that a long long distance relationship would not work because at the time we was going through a rough patch in our relationship. He has been away for a fe...

A.   16 February 2009: If he isn't willing to discuss his feelings, I'd say sex may be his motivation for wanting you there. How about you just ask him, "Why do you want me to come see you"? If he says I miss you. Ask, "Do you miss me, or my body"? Just remember... (read in full...)

I keep thinking I should be better for him in bed!

Q.   My boyfriend told me he once was involved in a threesome with his previous long term partner. He wasnt allowed to touch the other girl and just watched as they got on with it. I now feel like our sex life isnt enough. I have asked him if he wants ...

A.   16 February 2009: He's paid you a compliment whether you realize it or not! When you asked him if he wanted a threesome, and he declined. By not wanting for anyone else to touch you, he has placed you above her! As a guy, I'll say that to share a sex buddy is o... (read in full...)

Shall I sleep with him - will this makes things better?

Q.   I have not been too happy with my b/f. We have a 6 year old. We do not live together. I have two older teenage boys. My older son has been causing a lot of grief and I had social services involves as I hit him in a way to cause harm as he brusied ...

A.   16 February 2009: Am I understanding correctly that the two of you have a child together and you've not yet met his family? Are you positive that he doesn't have a wife or someone else? I understand why you feel as bad as you do. No one should have to ASK for a... (read in full...)

How do I say NO to my ex boyfriend's best mate?

Q.   I am a single, young woman of nineteen years and I am currently in a friends-with-benefits kind of thing with two young men my age (only making out). I honestly do not feel good about any of this. You see, one of these guys is my ex-boyfriend's best ...

A.   16 February 2009: In my opinion, your ex's buddy is wrong in trying to be with you. Out of respect for his friend, he should consider you off limits. If your ex learns of this, it could put you in a position that looks like you are doing something to get back at him,... (read in full...)

How do you resist other girls when in a relationship?

Q.   How do you resist other girls, Been going out with my existing girlfriend for about 5 months now... And there is about 3-4 girls who are all over me when I see them and I keep getting closer to accepting one of those invitations. They know I have a ...

A.   15 February 2009: That's all part of being in a relationship. It seems that when you're taken, you attract more! Yet sometimes when you're single, it's like a desert! Nothing to be found. However, at your age, I can understand that you want to keep future possibil... (read in full...)

Is 22 year age gap too much?

Q.   there is a a 22 year age gap between me and this guy that i has sex with he is older. we were co-workers and we both wanted it, do you think that is too much of a age differance? he has two sons that close to my age and i have to younger children? ...

A.   9 February 2009: If you like him and enjoy his company. Enjoy one another! Age is a number, it's what's inside that counts.... (read in full...)

Is she having me on? Should I cut her out of my life?

Q.   I met this girl a few months back who has low self esteem but underneath she seemed a nice girl, she is also a virgin. She had a boyfriend at the time but he dumped her and then soon after she asked me out. We were together for a few weeks but ...

A.   8 February 2009: She sounds a little of both confused, and keeping you as a safety net. I'd walk away, but don't close the door. She knows she can have you whenever she wants. Don't be so available. You just might find her closer than before.... (read in full...)

How to get over betrayal & distrust (broken engagement)

Q.   I had my first relationship when I reunited with a high school friend. I fell in love with her so much that I proposed to her 6 months into our relationship. We lasted a year after that until she moved away to college a few hours away. I always made ...

A.   8 February 2009: I realize you are upset, and that relationship left a bad taste in your mouth, but try and look at it this way. There are just as many girls who have been done wrong by some worthless guys. There's good and bad in both. Try and not crucify one,... (read in full...)

Fiance's family is mess! Worried about the reception

Q.   I'm getting married soon. And I have a dilema. My fiances family are..a mess. I'm no snob. We both come from the same urban neighborhood. But his family is one of a kind. His fathers always drunk or high. His mother is crazy, certified crazy. I ...

A.   8 February 2009: Have it alcohol free, you can say that you are worried about anyone getting killed driving drunk. I've heard that one used before. Cash bar, booze is rather spendy, and people don't get too drunk. Tell your fiance that you don't want booze... (read in full...)

What's going on with my boyfriend?

Q.   Hmm, well basically, my boyfriend of just over a year has been acting funny lately. He's always on the computer, and closes MSN conversations when I go over to talk to him. Curious as to his odd behaviour, one day I decided to take a look at one of ...

A.   6 February 2009: As the old saying goes, Sometimes we know the answer to our own question, but we just have to hear someone say it! I think you have things figured out JUST FINE!!!... (read in full...)

I can't trust him any more. Should I stay with him or move on?

Q.   I have been going out with my boyfriend for three months now. And he broke up with me once because he had "confusion" in his life according to him. We got back together now. But I still can't trust him. When he told me that he wants to keep th...

A.   6 February 2009: Trust is everything! If he is supposed to be your boyfriend, and walks away without speaking to you, yet goes and talks to his ex, There is something wrong. You deserve better! If you are his girl, you deserve his 100%! Worrying about to... (read in full...)

How do students get to the point where they can confide in a teacher?

Q.   How do students get to the point where they can confide in a teacher? I wish that I could get to know a teacher that well... it would be nice to be able to talk frankly with an adult who isn't my mom or a therapist I'd have to pay. ...

A.   6 February 2009: Great question! Teachers are mandatory reporters, at least in my state, so the thought of being able to talk freely goes right out the window! If you ever want to talk, feel free to send a message!... (read in full...)

Outdoor sex, any innovative ideas?

Q.   Guys: Ideas on some memorable sexual experiences in the great outdoors? My guy says one of them is sex on the beach..things like that. Any suggestions? I'm open minded to just about anything. ...

A.   6 February 2009: Top level of a parking ramp, on the levee near the river(downtown), On the bridge over the river, on the beach, in a boat, the base of a statue on the capitol grounds,throw a blanket down in a hay stack, Picnic table in the park,anywhere in the ... (read in full...)

I really need to know if you think he’s just using me for sex and if I should move on!

Q.   Ok well I meet this guy and he’s really sweet and the first day I meet him we went out on that same day and I think we hit it off, and then we went out 2 days in a row after that, I think I really like him but it’s so confusing because he said he ...

A.   5 February 2009: If you go down on him in front of his mate, do you really expect him to respect you or see you as anything other than sex? I think you know the answer to that one........ (read in full...)

How can I show "more personality" in class?

Q.   My teacher told me today that he wishes i would show more personality when i'm with him and in his class (since he always sees me joking with friends in the hallway). my personality's really crazy-- like needs-to-go-to-an-asylum crazy lol... but...

A.   5 February 2009: That's a good point! If you act too "crazy-- like needs-to-go-to-an-asylum", you run the risk of disrupting the class. I have one of those types of sense of humor too, but when in certain situations, people ask me,"do you ever smile or laugh"?? ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend turns off the radio in the car while I'm driving!

Q.   Hi it's a petty relationship question, but I just want to know if I'm off base here. Scenario: I'm driving in my car with my boyfriend(he is the passenger) and I happen to be listening to my favorite radio station. All of a sudden he leans over a...

A.   5 February 2009: I'm with you! When you're the pilot, you call the shots! Don't touch the radio, the heater or the A/C. If they want something changed, they can ask! I'd pull over and ask with a stern voice and a very straight face,"how do you feel about wa... (read in full...)

How can I get big boobs naturally?

Q.   How can I get big boobs without surgery or lotions or pills?...

A.   5 February 2009: While gaining weight will increase your boob size, it might also be counterproductive! If you are wanting larger boobs because you think they are more attractive, Keep in mind, gaining weight isn't! You may consider exercises that strengthen ... (read in full...)

Are guys turned off by hair down THERE?

Q.   okay so im... younger and i have hair on my vagina and my bf tried to finger me which i dont care and am all for but then i had to run out on him. Are guys turned off by hair there? should i shave that? if i do need to shave how do i do that? ...

A.   5 February 2009: I agree with the previous poster. It's a matter of preference. If you are concerned about it, talk to him, and see what he says. Personally, I like shaved, but have friends who say otherwise. So to say as a whole, men like "this" isn't possible. ... (read in full...)

Does he want me just for sex?

Q.   Hi I am 27 years old, and it has happened to me many times, that guys only want to have sex with me, I am very atractive but I also have a great career, i am profetional and finantially stable, i am also very selective to pick my partners, so I can ...

A.   4 February 2009: I'm kind of torn here. Both of the previous answers are very good, and accurate, but I have a different take. I agree with what kellyxx says, in the sense that cutting back will test his motive. I can see why you have this question in your... (read in full...)

How should I tell this older man I like him?

Q.   hi everyone. i am a bundle of nerves right now and I don't know what to do. i am in love with a guy 11 years my senior,and I think he loves me too.however there are complications...a lot of them.firstly,my father is his mentor.secondly,...

A.   4 February 2009: I was with you all along until I got to the part that he has a girlfriend! As far as him not being able to leave her due to a promise is hog wash! It sounds like he's looking for someone to play with! If he "loved" you, he wouldn't let her stan... (read in full...)

I said yes to my ex's request to meet!

Q.   Hi, thanks in advance for reading and answering my ?. The details are I broke up with my ex 3 yrs ago in May. He contacted me online and asked me to meet him next week to catch up. This is the first time we have had contact since end of 2006. At ...

A.   4 February 2009: Don't do anything until he's free from her. Remember the ole' "he's screwing around with his ex"? If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you!... (read in full...)

I just feel like my husband just harasses me for sex.

Q.   Hi! Me and my husband recently got married last year, and sometimes I just really don't want him touching me. Sometimes I feel like he is harassing me for sex. If I say no I don't want to have sex, I have to have a big long, keep you up all nite ...

A.   4 February 2009: First issue. If you two were married last year, and you've already lost interest in sex, your marriage in in for a lot more problems! Realizing that a relationship cannot be built upon sex, but lack of sex can surely destroy a relationship! If yo... (read in full...)

Do I stick it out with my girlfriend or cut it off?

Q.   So heres the deal... i have been dating this girl for 15 months and i love her soo very much but in the past few months it feels like we have been going downhill fast Sooo then i have been talking to this other girl and i have known her for a ...

A.   4 February 2009: If you break it off with your girlfriend, I'd stay away from the friend. If they are going to room together, that will cause problems for the two of them. You are also setting yourself up for accusations of cheating with the friend, OR if you and ... (read in full...)

Does this guy like me or am I just creating false hope for myself?

Q.   Hi, I would really like some advice about a guy I really like at the moment. All the body language signs that a guy shows when he likes a girl are there ie body position, feet pointing at me, fidgeting and, grooming. Anytime I'm near him he changes ...

A.   4 February 2009: Chances are you have an effect on him like no other woman does. He may think you are out of his league, and likes you very much! He's nervous and doesn't know how to approach you. More than likely, he is afraid of rejection. Be kind and maybe gi... (read in full...)

Would you be friends with someone this jealous and insecure?

Q.   if someone hurts you by always being suspicious of things, being jealous and extremely inconsiderate, would that hurt your self-esteem a lot? like a friend who gets clingy and every time you have to do other things, they suspect that you are lyin...

A.   4 February 2009:  I can understand how it could hurt your self esteem. It's like they treat you like you're stupid or something. I'd give them a week or two of attention, not let myself get emotionally attached to them in the least bit. If they start acting fun... (read in full...)

How should I tell him that I'm pregnant with his baby?

Q.   i've known this guy for quite a few years now and we've never been good friends but we've kept in touch every once in a while. back in december we started hanging out and the night of his birthday we hooked up. the condom broke so he took me to go ...

A.   4 February 2009: My advice is to meet him for lunch or something, and have a talk with him. What happened to the "plan B"? In the future, it's a good idea to only have sex with someone that you are willing to have in your life for the rest of your life! Maybe ... (read in full...)

He's always flirting - does that mean he actually likes me?

Q.   I was really good friends with a guy in my class. we started hanging out all the time. so i said to myself that i like him. i told him and now he doesnt really talk to me as much as he used to. he said that im cool and pretty and he loves me but ...

A.   4 February 2009: Like he said, as a friend. Relax, enjoy yourself, you're a kid, be a kid. No need to get all emotional.... (read in full...)

Is he still interested? Or has he gone cold?

Q.   i'm 15 and heres my story..i like this guy and i know him for 2 weeks now he called me gorgeous,hot,cute. we talked on the phone and he said we should hang out and we should get to know each other..last week everydayy he would say good morning ...

A.   4 February 2009: At your age, you'll change mates like you change your sox. A couple weeks is no time at all! Once you get older you might not even get to the talking everyday for 3 weeks. It's like the outfit that last week you thought was so cute, you no... (read in full...)

What should I do for Valentine's Day?

Q.   Valentine's day is nearing and i'm worried.. very worried. This'll be the first valentine's I've not been alone. Valentine's a day before mine and my girlfriend's 3 month 'anniversery'... which makes me feel yet more under pressure. I was thinking ...

A.   3 February 2009: No need to worry, you're going to do just fine. You sound like you're on your way to being a romantic sort of guy! The idea that you are thinking about this in advance is a very good thing! How do you feel about getting her five red roses wi... (read in full...)

Should juvenile offenders be tried as adults when committing adult crimes?

Q.   ok so i know this has nothing to do with sex, love, dating or relationships but i didnt know where else to ask this. well my question is should juvenile offenders be tried as adults when committing adult crimes such as murder? we're going to have a ...

A.   3 February 2009:  I think they should. The behavior of "minors" in todays society is very "adult" in nature. The maturity level is much higher than it was when so many of these standards were set. Heck, just look at the questions being asked on here. In my day... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has become violent with me, and I no longer feel I can trust him. Can our relationship ever recover?

Q.   Two days ago in what should have been a simple albeit heartfelt discussion about the way our relationship was going, my boyfriend and I started arguing. He swore at me before I had time to finish a sentence or really even start upon what I wanted ...

A.   3 February 2009: Get on the next plane, try and put it in the past. No one deserves to live their life in fear. Once it starts, it doesn't stop. Your mate is supposed to be the one that you feel safe with. The one who would be the last person in the world to hurt ... (read in full...)

I think my friends back home have replaced me with a girl I can't stand!

Q.   Hey Agony Aunts and Uncles, I think my friends back home have replaced me with a girl I can’t stand! I am 26, and live in a city far from my hometown (by choice). I have a job I love, some wonderful and supportive friends, and a boyfri...

A.   3 February 2009: Pride. Let it go. If it bothers you that someone you had sex with but admittedly wasn't "romantically" involved with, is now involved with someone that you don't like, yet you are now involved with someone else. I appears as though you still ha... (read in full...)

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