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*ennisstar88 agony aunt

*ennisstar88

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*ennisstar88's profile:

Who I am? A 28yr old Army wife. My DH serves, I serve and sacrifice as well. Went to college in my early 20s, economy caught up with me in 08 and dropped out for a bit. I however returned and am down the path to finishing a bachelor's degree. I have also beat my long, 3 year battle with infertility and am expecting a baby this December! Its been a long, pot hole filled road but I am finally where I want to be.

What qualifies me to help you? Vast dating experience, especially in the LDR department, even an international on with an Aussie, broke hearts, had mine broken, been engaged once before, I know what a real friend is, seen the ugly side of divorce coming from a recently broken home myself, even went as far as to tip the odds to my side and use men only to toss them aside like yesterday's garbage like they do women, I know what it's like to almost give up hope on finding the perfect man when he's really only a few boyfriends away, and I'm starting to learn the ropes of married life. I also know a vast deal about the female and male reproductive system, and all about the mental struggles with infertility. On a side note, I'm the one who gives you tough love, I'm not on here to sugarcoat it or to tell you what you want to hear. I'm going to give it to you straight up, wouldn't you rather the truth?

-TOP 5 QUESTIONS I CAN'T STAND-

#1. Does this mean my teacher likes me?

Just because they're nice to you, offer extra help, and put a little gold star on your A+ paper doesn't mean they are in love with you.

#2. Could I be pregnant?

Have you not heard of a pregnancy test? Get off this website, and go to your local drugstore.

#3. I'm 14 and I want a baby?

Really? Me too! Oh wait I'm 28 and married. You're how old again?

#4. My husband loves porn more than me!

Maybe if you didn't let yourself go into the frumpy woman you have turned into then he wouldn't have to look at porn now would he? I recommend you get your rear to the salon for highlights, manicure, pedicure, tanning, toss the baggy tees and sweat pants for a wardrobe that fits, and a little makeup goes a long way. It's called basic woman maintenance in order to keep your man's eyes on you.

#5. Will we get back together, how can I get him to love me again?

Unfortunately, my crystal ball is broke at the moment and I just gave away the last of my love potion No. 9. Sorry.

MY GENERAL RULES OF THUMB (this should be common sense)

-No means no.

-Girls can ask out ask guys, this is a new generation.

-Unless you know sign language or are telepathic, you're going to have to talk to him/her.

-My "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy as is follows: Do not by any means volunteer your own sexual history, or ask your date/partner/wife/girlfriend their magic number (how many people they've slept with). If you find yourself being prompted to answer this question, politely tell them that's none of their business.

-Your past doesn't define who you are today. We grow, mature, age, and change as time passes.

-If you have to even ask random strangers on this website if you should have sex, then you're not ready for it.

-FWBs, fuck buddies, no strings attached, whatever you want to call it..is not a relationship don't get the 2 confused. In this case, sex=sex, not love.

-No trust=no relationship.

-It is normal for your husband/boyfriend to have friends of the opposite sex, do you not have male friends?

-LDRs can work, however they're not for everyone. You've got to have trust, communication, be faithful, and a lot of hobbies to keep yourself occupied. If you have trust issues, a case of being needy, clingy, problems staying faithful and are in a LDR don't be surprised when it doesn't work. I told you so.

- An ex is an ex for a reason. If you guys couldn't hack it as a couple the first 2 times what makes you think the third time is a charm?

-Going on a "break" is a nice way of breaking up.

-If you have sex with a man and he hasn't called you, or responded to your texts in weeks sorry to say but he was just after a piece of ass.

- Now unless he's getting blown up in Afghanistan, an on call ER doctor, or lying dead in a coffin then he's got no excuse for his poor or lack there of communication.

-You have a 12% chance of your married boyfriend leaving his wife and children.

-A man who is going through a divorce is still legally married. He's about to have an ex wife and you're wanting to get into a relationship with him? That's called a rebound.

-If you're a minor who's just found out she's pregnant, do me and everyone else on this site a favor..Tell your parents.

-Just because some one stares at you, it doesn't mean they like you. They could be staring at that booger hanging out of your nose.

-If you have a lump/bump/cyst/rash that looks green, has oozing puss, and itches like hell, but kinda looks like a STD then you had better consult your doctor. They went through 6 years of schooling and have a license to practice medicine, I think they would know better than random virtual strangers.

-Don't mix business with pleasure. Why? Because if you date your co-worker and in the event things turn sour then you're still stuck facing them 9-5, Mon-Fri. Awkward.

-No matter how hard you try, you can't change a person..they have to make that transformation themselves.

-When your boyfriend/girlfriend says they want space that doesn't mean you do the opposite and bombard them with calls/texts.

-As far as ultimatums go, don't try to make your boyfriend choose between you, his female friends, or weed. You won't like the results.

-If you're 13-17, I'm sorry but you haven't a clue what love really is. You have minimal dating experience confined to the high school dating pool which are nothing but horny boys. Their facial hair doesn't make them a man. It's only till you get out into the real world, a vast dating pool is when you learn the definition of love. So, go on thinking you and 13 year old Tommy will go on to get married, have 3 kids, and a two story house with a white picket fence. I don't expect you to listen, I'm 28 and married, what do I know? There's a reason why everyone says it won't last..because it doesn't.

-The average penis size erect is 6 inches, 4.85 inches. Women like average to even a little below average. We're not going to bust out a tape measure and measure it to make sure it's up to our standards. We just want to have sex, so enough complaining about your size let's get down and dirty.

- The legal age of consent in the U.S. is 16-18 varying oer state, in Britain it's 16. I think it's safe to say most parts of the world (unless you live in a tribe with their own form of government) the legal age to consent to sex is 16. So yes, all you minors below the age of consent are committing a crime when you engage in sexual activity. The age is set that high for a reason, you are not above the law.

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Not sure what to make of this

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A.   24 January 2012: When a guy asks a girl out on a date, she says, "yes" if she's interested. If she's not, then the proper thing to do is politely decline and simply say you're not interested. Not make up excuses, or constantly have other plans to avoid the ... (read in full...)

Can I wear black to a wedding?

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Online dating...I want children, he doesn't

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A.   19 January 2012: If having children is non-negotiable for you then there's no point in pursuing him. Don't even try going in this thinking he'll change his mind. At your age the fertility clock is ticking and you don't have time to waste. ... (read in full...)

Not sure what to make of this

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After these remarks? Do I still talk to him? Or wait and let him make the next move?

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Out of the dating scene for 20 years. Women want me to text?!

Q.   I was married for a long time and just now came back onto the dating scene. One new thing to me is texting. Texting itself is not new to me, but texting in the context of dating is. Back in the day, you asked a woman for her number and if...

A.   18 January 2012: Texting is the new calling. It's really that simple. Just send them a text explaining who you are, that is if they didn't take your number. Ask what they're doing this weekend. If there's no reply within a day, then they're not interest... (read in full...)

After these remarks? Do I still talk to him? Or wait and let him make the next move?

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A.   17 January 2012: You guys aren't even in a relationship. So you have really no right to talk to him about what he said to your friend, seeing as you two aren't even boyfriend-girlfriend. Pretty much, you have your answer..He's a player and NOT the settling... (read in full...)

Wife asked if I was going to wear a dress, and other constant put-dozens.

Q.   I was really taken back by my wife's comment. We were getting ready to go somewhere, I asked what she was going to wear. She said jeans and asked me "are you going to wear a dress?" I was puzzled, and still am. The thing is I have NEVER worn ...

A.   17 January 2012: I believe it's a sad attempt at humor. "I'll wear the pants, you wear the dress! Hhahahaha". Not really funny though. IMO, she wasn't trying to call you feminine. Ask her what she meant, I'm sure it was a joke. ... (read in full...)

Why do young people under 18, take drugs?

Q.   hi a drug question here... not about me but about friends and people i know. Why would people use drugs? why? Even my 14 yo brother's friends are using drugs (there his age). He says hes seen his friends with it and take it (he came straight home ...

A.   17 January 2012: Peer pressure. ... (read in full...)

Mixed messages before the first date! Please help!

Q.   I am talking to a guy who seems realy great we talk on the phone for long periods of time and really connect. we have seen pics of eachother and are both attracted and planned to meet this week. he sends me nice messages saying he cant wait and ...

A.   17 January 2012: Maybe it's because he sees he's coming on too strong or eager so he backs off a bit when it comes to texting/calling. See how the first date pans out. If it's going great then for conversation I'd suggest asking him what his pet peeves are. Let... (read in full...)

After these remarks? Do I still talk to him? Or wait and let him make the next move?

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A.   17 January 2012: Are you guys officially boyfriend and girlfriend?? No offense OP but I think you're overreacting just a bit. You guys have been together for a whopping 2 months. So I can see why he told your friend that he wasn't think about settling down and... (read in full...)

Well endowed boyfriend makes sex uncomfortable

Q.   My man is larger than average. He likes to go deep but it hurts me way too bad. It feels like hes poking me in my stomach and I feel I have the worst cramps of my life. Do you think that its just because of his size or is there something wrong wi...

A.   17 January 2012: I've had a few well endowed men and sex with them was pleasing, but I ached the next 2 days. Yes, the penetration can feel good but it can also hurt at the same time. I'd tell him to take it easy on you. That really he's causing you more pain tha... (read in full...)

I went first but my friends didn't follow

Q.   Yesturday i went with my 2 best friends that are twins to get friendship tattoos, turned out it was at the mans house. My friends didn't want to go first so i did. Our plan is to get all the same tattoo in the same spot, a Cherry blossom. So he goes ...

A.   17 January 2012: $120-$150 is pretty steep for a cherry blossom. They charge you by the size and how much ink they use. Obviously color tattoos are going to run a little higher, but cherry blossoms are a small tattoo so your friends are getting ripped. You ... (read in full...)

Have we lost the drive to see each other?

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been going out for 2 months now. almost 3 in feburary. recently hes been talking to me less and less when we arent together. he doesnt text me much anymore. and he doesnt ask to skype either. i confronted him about it and he ...

A.   15 January 2012: Are you in a LDR?? 2 months in the "relationship" and it's already fizzling out? That's not good. I'd say you two aren't compatible. ... (read in full...)

He is so wrapped in his own world he can't see I like him!

Q.   I have a crush on this guy in my class in college. He is very laid back, down to earth, kind, sensitive but he is very much too laid back if ya know what I mean. He's always wrapped up in his own sort of world and doesn't notice the fact that som...

A.   15 January 2012: Perhaps if he's oblivious to the fact you like him, like so many guys are, they don't pick up on your signals or body language. Then you need to pipe up and tell him you like him. For guys you have to literally spell it out. ... (read in full...)

How do I get a second date?

Q.   I went on a first date last week, with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to go well. Now it's almost the weekend again, but he hasnt asked me out. What should I do?...

A.   15 January 2012: A peck on the cheek is a friendly gesture. Leaning towards you isn't enough body language to go on. I look for his hands touching mine, hand on back escorting me forward, and any intimate touching that's PG rated. That should tell you somethin... (read in full...)

How do you let a guy know you think he's cute?

Q.   How do you let a guy know that you think he is cute, without making things awkward afterwards? I'm very quiet and so is the guy in question....

A.   15 January 2012: "I love your outfit you're wearing! You look so cute in that polo. Did your mother pick it out for you? Ha, ha just kidding. But no you do look cute." You'll probably really inflate his ego. ... (read in full...)

Prom dilemma

Q.   I need help I bought a dress for prom and over the last month I have put on weight. And I need to loose weight quick and fast I'm a fussy eater and I can't to fancy diets I just need a plan to help me loose weight in under a month hope someone can ...

A.   14 January 2012: You need to lose weight in under a month? How much do you need to shed? The best way to lose it is to hit the gym everyday for at least a hour, doing cardio and weight lifting. You also need to watch your food intake. That means a lot more veg... (read in full...)

How do I get a second date?

Q.   I went on a first date last week, with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to go well. Now it's almost the weekend again, but he hasnt asked me out. What should I do?...

A.   14 January 2012: If you haven't heard a word from him since your first date, then he's not interested in a second one. Sorry my dear. ... (read in full...)

Does he like me or is he messing around?

Q.   So last year, me and this boy got really close to the point where we became best friends as of now. He has a girlfriend and everything too. But the way he acts towards me is confusing. Whenever he mentions us being perfect for each other and and ...

A.   14 January 2012: This kid has a girlfriend. Why would you even want to be with someone who is going behind their girlfriend's back, and can't even give you a straight answer as to if he likes you or not??!!! We don't know what he wants and obviously neithe... (read in full...)

He cheated twice while travelling, why didn't he tell me?

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years in a very happy relationship.He recently went travelling for 9 months and cheated on me twice once whilst drunk and the other time sober with a girl he had met up with a few times.I only found out after ...

A.   14 January 2012: You'll most likely never find out the real reason he cheated. Guys get bored in a relationship, act upon impulse, need sex at the moment, etc. There's numerous reasons. He didn't tell you because it's much easier to lie about it! Honestly... (read in full...)

FWB accuses me of cheating, how can we be a proper couple?

Q.   Hi all I have a problem and I don't know what to do I am in a fwb with a man for the past 11 months we started sleeping together and naturally after a few months my feelings grew stronger for him I don't love him but I really like him I talked to ...

A.   14 January 2012: FWB- Casual sex, no strings attached, and zero emotion. Basically 2 people who have nothing but a sexual arrangement. A relationship- You're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, faithful, trusting, go on dates, hold hands, and there's emotions... (read in full...)

We argue, don't talk, no sex, no date nights, no vacations. I'm fed up, what do I do?

Q.   I'm 31 and my boyfreind is 46, we argue, don't talk for a wek at a time, no sex, he don't take me out movie, dinner, shopping nothing, no vactions together, I'm getting really fed up this being going on for years what should I do?...

A.   13 January 2012: Do you even see him at all? How long have you two been together? Has he taken you on any dates at all? Does he not come over and spend time with you at your home? Or vice versa? You don't have to go out all the time and spend money? See... (read in full...)

I cant put up with my husband's behaviour anymore, but I don't want to throw in the towel less than a year after getting married! What should I do?

Q.   My husband and I have been married since spring of 2011 (not even a year yet). We have the most beautiful 18 month old son and another new baby on the way. Our marriage is anything but newlywed bliss. I think a lot of our stress comes from little ...

A.   13 January 2012: The first year of marriage is the hardest, for me at least. Did you marry him because you loved him, or because it was the "right" thing to do because you already had a child?? Too often it's the wrong thing to do. That's also why you should w... (read in full...)

Am I just his "booty call"?

Q.   I met this young guy (25y) I am 33y female....We had chemistry..started whith just kisses..with the time we ended up in sex.... I like him a lot. Is very mature and has a brillant career, is very smart and corteous. Very succesful for his age. La...

A.   13 January 2012: You are his booty call. He gets what he needs and leaves. The next time he comes around, don't have sex with him. You're going to have to stand your ground. Suggest going out on a date instead. See what his reaction is. If he jets or balks at... (read in full...)

My FWB wants to have a baby with me!!

Q.   ok so im 18 and ive been a friends with benifit with this guy but it has grown into where neither of us are with anybody else but he wont say that we are in a relationship... so now we are having trouble seeing each other because his family doesnt ...

A.   13 January 2012: Having a baby so his parents won't keep him from you has got to be the stupidest reason for having a child. You're 18 and not even in a stable relationship with this guy..why would you even think about having a baby?? He doesn't actually want to ... (read in full...)

Guy canceled our date because he was super exhausted from work. Do u think he was really exhausted or blowing me off?

Q.   I had been talking to this guy from online for a week. He was amped to meet me and the night before we met he told me that he only dates one person at a time, he asked if im gonna meet anyone else and i said no that i only planned to meet him, we ...

A.   13 January 2012: The biggest red flag is you two got physical on the first meeting and then again. Has there been a time of where you two weren't physical? He also hasn't taken you on a proper date. Going to a bar isn't exactly a first date. That's a let's ge... (read in full...)

How do I get a second date?

Q.   I went on a first date last week, with a guy I met online. Everything seemed to go well. Now it's almost the weekend again, but he hasnt asked me out. What should I do?...

A.   13 January 2012: Did you ask him out for the first or was it vice versa? If it was you, then you're expected to do the legwork. How did the first date go? Was there a kiss or any natural body contact (awkward fumbling doesn't count)? Call me old fashioned, b... (read in full...)

Does anyone know what could be going through a woman's head when I look at her?

Q.   I don't know if this happens to other people, but I find that when I look a woman straight in her eyes she tends to smirk. If I break contact the smirk goes away but then there's an attraction. It seems to happen to me whenever I find myself talking ...

A.   13 January 2012: I've done this to guys. My smirk was backed up with thinking, "Look at this douchebag!". A smirk is nothing but a smartass smile. I'm either mentally cracking up at this guy's idiotic attempt to get me in the sack or how high he rates on the douche ... (read in full...)

I had sex and now I'm scared I might have a STD!

Q.   Okay, so I had sex with this guy, it was basically I went to visit him and hang out , we ended up cuddling and it turned into having sex. I don't know if he's STD free or anything and I noticed a bump on my vaginal area /: I don't know if ...

A.   13 January 2012: This is why minors shouldn't be having sex, as they are too uneducated in protecting themselves from pregnancy and STDs. People on the internet cannot help you as we are not qualified medical personnel. Don't even bother with self diagnosi... (read in full...)

Should I wait for Bob or move on to Joe?

Q.   There is one guy, 'Bob' who i have been 'dating' for about 6 months. I found out I had Chlamydia. Of course I had to tell him. And he freaked out, and said he needed time. which I understand it was quite a shock to me as well. Anyway, there ...

A.   13 January 2012: Erm, what about your chlamydia?? Have you gotten the green light from the doctor it's ok to have sex? You really don't want to infect Bob (if you haven't already) or Joe. Let's be honest, I highly doubt Bob is going to come back to you. Unless h... (read in full...)

My life, what do you people think?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm a solitary man, i live alone and i'm a workaholic. I have a routine lifestyle, i work almost every day go home, eat something, clean the house and watch some tv. In my free time i go swimming and have sex with prostitutes. I don'...

A.   13 January 2012: What does it matter what offer people think?? If you're happy living this type of life then to each his own. Of course your recently divorced friend is going to bash women. If you WANT to CHANGE, then stop paying for sex and try to find a wo... (read in full...)

I'm with the man of my dreams and simply cannot wait to have children! Am I obsessed?

Q.   Wondering if you can provide honest opinions on the below... I'm with the man of my dreams and simply cannot wait to have children! I know its not the right time yet, and I want my man to be ready so i'm not rushing him or bringing it up. ...

A.   13 January 2012: Yes, it's your biological time clock ticking. It can be kept overwhelming the need/want to be a mother. Keep yourself busy and those baby wants at bay. Offer to babysit your friend's babies, children, nieces, or nephews for a bit of practice... (read in full...)

Girlfriend doesn't want/need affection or sex. Is she just with me for security?

Q.   I've been seeing my gf for 9 months and I'm starting to suspect her reasons for being with me are practical rather than romantic. Ever since we started dating sex and intimacy has been a bit of an issue. Basically most times thAt I attempt to get ...

A.   13 January 2012: You say she's been like this since Day 1 as far as intimacy goes..Do you expect her to all of sudden change?? What is her job? Have you tried talking to her about her lack of intimacy? I'd start there first. Maybe you're not taking the time ... (read in full...)

How do I bring up how unreliable, unfaithful, neglectful and awful he has been to me?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He is unreliable, never makes time for me, he has been unfaithful, he ignors me, and just treats me so terrible. But as hard as i try, i cannot stop loving him. Is there any right way to brong this ...

A.   13 January 2012: Have you ever tried to confront him about his behavior or do you continue to let him treat you like dirt?? What specifically has he done to you? Need more info to give you a better answer. You just confront him in the flesh on how he treats... (read in full...)

Clingy one night stand

Q.   Okay so the first time i ever dated/kissed/had sex someone happen over the summer, it was a two week thing before we both went off to college. Well it hit me pretty hard and she moved on pretty easily. So i was looking for somewhat of a rebound girl ...

A.   13 January 2012: This is why you NEVER ever date or hook up with someone from work. You're stuck facing them on a day to day basis and they have a tendency of airing out your dirty laundry to all the office gossip queens. Perhaps you weren't clear of your int... (read in full...)

I guess I'm depressed but I don't know what to do about it!

Q.   My mood switches a lot. I’ll be happy and content then I’ll be breaking down in tears. I’ve been like this for the last 3 years or so. For a while I hardly ate, started smoking, drank a lot, and self harmed. I stopped all of that over a year ago...

A.   11 January 2012: Besides medication, the only other thing is to go to your GP and see if he'll refer you to a therapist. I struggle with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. It got to the point of where I thought I could fix myself, but I couldn't and soug... (read in full...)

If I am a girl 17 and he is 4 years my junior then who makes the first move? Is this OK?

Q.   I need some help. I am in love with a close friend but I don't know what to do about it. I am a girl 17 years old, but I am 4 years older than him, so who should make the first move? Who should make the first move me a girl or him a guy 4 year...

A.   2 January 2012: Neither! I question if that boy has even gone thru puberty yet!!! Technically you can date him, BUT legally you can't engage in any sexual activity with him. This includes oral, hand jobs, and him stimulating you. He is a MINOR and you're l... (read in full...)

Thinking about breaking up and constantly wondering if it is a good choice?

Q.   Does anyone on here ever think about breaking up with thier SO but feel like you would live to regret it? Here are my specifics: I have a boyfriend who I think is awesome in most regards. I just feel like I can't relate to him in some aspects.....

A.   2 January 2012: What about your love for him? That's what I see missing from your post. What is his career? It doesn't have to be in the same field as yours. Do you feel like you're settling for him, because you know nothing better will come along and that y... (read in full...)

Should I keep messing around with my best friend's brother?

Q.   okay so, my me and my bestfriends brother had a 'thing' going on, we had sex and then i told my bestfriend. she didnt seem to care at all.. but her brother keeps texting me asking me to come round because he has a free house. i dont feel bad or ...

A.   2 January 2012:  Your friend isn't shocked, or the least bit bothered that you two are getting it on. So what's holding you back? If you want casual sex, then go for it. Now if you want a relationship, close your legs. Tell him you want to go on dates, get t... (read in full...)

I'm being distant and having trouble connecting with my boyfriend!

Q.   My house is so chaotic, both of my parents are on the verge of divorce. It has put my siblings and I though emotional and mental stress. For some reason, I am finding it really hard to connect with my boyfriend of 3 years. He understands what I am ...

A.   2 January 2012: Have you always been one to hold things in? It's best to talk to someone about your current stressors. Is possible to talk about the stresses in your life with your boyfriend? Basically to vent to him. How about talking to your mother about se... (read in full...)

How do I give him a gentle hint that I don't want to date?

Q.   Okay, I've been asked on a date by someone i've known for 3 years, but never really have I ever spoken to him. It's been a few years since we last met. Anyway he's been texting me every day since he asked me for my number, and I now regret givin...

A.   2 January 2012: Guess you'll see when you go on that date. Actually it sends him a mixed messaged...It says, "You're not ready for a relationship at the moment but by going on this date you look interested". To be honest, you need to be straightforward ... (read in full...)

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