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*usan Walsh

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Latest articles:

The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up

This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

5 January 2009: “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...

I've been hunting for a boyfriend for years, why haven't I found one?

Q.   I always feel lonely perhaps it's because I've never had a boyfriend or even a date. I am too embarrassed to divulge this information to my friends but since we all met in college and are very close they've definitely noticed I've never been on one ...

A.   23 November 2009: I write a blog about relationships in the hookup culture, and I want you to know that many, many young women feel this way and are in the same boat. It's hard to say what you might be doing wrong, but frankly, totally meaningless hookups are: 1) ... (read in full...)

Not proud of the way I lost my virginity

Q.   Hi, this is mainly for parents to help me out here, I'm a 16 year old girl, and I was at a concert one night, and me and my friends booked a hotel room for after it and we meet some people, I ended up having sex with one of them and this was my ...

A.   4 June 2009: Many young women lose their virginity in a way they do not feel good about. It's OK, what's important is that you learned something about yourself from that experience. In the future, you can make different choices. I encourage you to think about ... (read in full...)

Casual sex made our friendship sour

Q.   About six months ago I developed a friends with benefits deal with someone in my dorm. We had fun in the very beginning and then she got attached to me and as much as I would have enjoyed being in a relationship with her I just don't think it would ...

A.   24 April 2009: "...as much as I would have enjoyed being in a relationship with her I just don't think it would have worked out." Why not? As someone who blogs about relationships and hooking up, I see guys say this all the time. I wrote a post called "Sexual A... (read in full...)

If he does like someone else so much why was he hooking up with me a week ago?

Q.   Thanks anyone for taking the time to read this/respond. I am kind of confused in situation with a new guy I hooked up with recently. I have kind of known him for about a year because I go to the place where he works all the time, and we talked ...

A.   8 February 2009: OK, I am going to give you some tough love here. He hooked up with you a week ago because he wanted to have sex. Obviously, he was physically attracted to you, but that doesn't mean he felt anything more. And it sounds like you're in it for the sex ... (read in full...)

My ex said we will never get back together

Q.   I NEEED SOMEONES ADVICE..PLEASE.. My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago. We had went out for 10 months. we were inseperable, we spent so much time together probably to much. It was my first real relationship and I found myself acting ...

A.   9 January 2009: It's so hard to move on when you have been reeled back in by hearing from him. But if he is telling you there is no chance for the future, you need to believe him. It sounds like you learned a lot in this first relationship, and would do things ... (read in full...)

What does he want from me?

Q.   This guy and I met back in September at a friend's party where we seemed to get along well and have a nice little chat. That night ended in us engaging in sexual relations (not actual sex, just oral). The next morning we exchanged numbers. Got a ...

A.   9 January 2009: He actually sounds like a decent guy - he's been honest from the start, and it sounds like the two of you really enjoy spending time together. I do think you risk getting really hurt with him, though. I believe in taking guys at their word, and ... (read in full...)

The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up

Q.   “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...

A.   7 January 2009: Such a great conversation! Thanks for the feedback. Yos, you and I are totally on the same page. Evolutionary Psychology may not be PC, but I find it absurd to pretend that men and women would pursue the same mating strategies. I think it's GREAT to ... (read in full...)

The World of Hanging Out and Hooking Up

Q.   “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally You. You are smart, you are independent, you are strong. You make your own choices about what you do with your body. When you like a guy...

A.   7 January 2009: I'm sorry you find the content sexist - that is not my intention. The scenario described above is very typical on an American college campus. I don't believe men and women are the same; I believe there is extensive research that shows that men ... (read in full...)

What visual characteristics are guys attracted to?

Q.   What are some visual characteristics that get guys attention in a good way? Such as clothing, hair, make-up etc. What are guys attracted to? more skin/ hair down-up etc. I know to be myself... just asking for opinions that can help.. that I m...

A.   5 January 2009: It's a matter of biology: guys are attracted to youth and health because it connotes fertility. So: shiny, long hair, healthy glow on cheeks, just enough makeup to enhance natural beauty, a fit body. Add a smile and you're there. www.H... (read in full...)

Should I forgive my boyfriend for watching porn?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 years. We do not live together and we are both virgins. He recently confessed that has watched porn at least once a week for the last 3 years. I was really hurt when he told me. He seemed to feel bad ...

A.   5 January 2009: I agree that it is perfectly normal and healthy for guys to look at porn. In fact, lots of guys view it every day. You might want to check out this post "Do Guys Need Porn?": h... (read in full...)

I kissed someone else while we broke up, now ex wants me back..don't know whether to tell him about kiss or not

Q.   My ex and I broke up in nearly two months ago. We stayed in contact and almost got back together a couple of times until we had a big row three weeks ago and decided it was best to end it and have no contact at all. It was him that wanted no ...

A.   5 January 2009: I agree, you did absolutely nothing wrong, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Having said that, it can do no good whatsoever to tell him. Just prepare yourself to talk about it in case he does find out, but if you were broken up and you ... (read in full...)

How do I find out if he has true feelings for me?...

Q.   How do I find out if he has true feelings for me?..I mean more than just friends. He does things that surprise me..calls me on his lunch break every so often, text, after work late night calls just to talk..nothing sexual. He doesn't ment...

A.   5 January 2009: First, I think it sounds like he does have an interest in you - he is clearly working to be in touch. I can also understand why you wouldn't want to ask him straight out and risk the rejection. I would suggest sending out some subtle signals, and ... (read in full...)

Should I tell what I did with other guys when we were broken up?

Q.   My boy friend and I have been going out for over a year. About two months ago we broke up for over a month. Now that my boy friend and I are back together for a few weeks, my boy friend wants to know what I did, if anything, with other guys....

A.   5 January 2009: I don't think any good can come of your telling him what you did with other guys. He'll just fixate on those things and feel jealous. Honestly, what you did with other people when the two of you were apart is not his business. I agree that you ... (read in full...)

Why for sex but not a relationship

Q.   I go to a big university but cant get a decent boyfriend. I would say I'm attractive and have a good personality but all the guys who are interested in me and vice versa only want to hook up and have sex with me. Even my male "friends" try to hook ...

A.   27 December 2008: Guys are often more interested in No Strings Attached sex, and in the current hookup scene, they're getting plenty of it. Girls are more interested in relationships, but it's so hard to find a guy who is willing to commit. It's OK to hook up, but ... (read in full...)

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