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... Send *tayc63088 a private message | | | *tayc63088's profile:My name is Stacey. I've been on this site for years. I come and go at times depending on how busy life is.
I've had my share of relationships. And quite a few odd ones at that. I love to give advice when I have been in a similar situation and feel I can help out some. I feel my most common advice is to COMMUNICATE. A lot of people write in about a partner they have been with for years and ask how to tell their partner such and such. A relationship needs communication. Be open and honest always.
I am a newlywed. No children yet. But anyhow, feel free to email me anytime if you need someone to talk to :) |
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His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.
Q. I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...
A. 21 September 2012: Congratulations! You made a good choice. Now you can meet someone more committed and open to talking. ... (read in full...)
He is looking to move out behind my back and I'm afraid he's cheating on me again!
Q. My (gay) boyfriend and I have dated for more than a year and have been living together for one. Last month I found out accidentally that he has been looking for a room (he wanted to move out). I actually found that he has been looking for a room ...
A. 18 September 2012: Good job dumping him! I'm sorry it had to end that way but at least the loser can be out of your life. It hurts now but he did you a favor, when someone treats you like crap and cheats it is much easier to move on because you KNOW you can do better ... (read in full...)
My husband has been having an affair for 12 of the 14 years we have been married. I don't know if I should end the marriage.
Q. I am married for 14 years and has two kids. My husband is cheating on me for 12 years with different women. I got the chance to talk to one of his other women would you believe we just talk and didnt had a fight! They broke up because I have all the ...
A. 18 September 2012: You are destined to be miserable with this man. Sorry. You have come up with excuses for why you can't leave. If you wanted to leave you can make it happen. You could get a job, you could stay with family or friends. Instead you are still worried ... (read in full...)
His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.
Q. I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...
A. 18 September 2012: Then a Facebook status is the last of your worries... You are scared to even speak to him about this, that's not a healthy relationship. And you have a gut feeling he is cheating, also isn't a healthy relationship. It isn't pressurizing to bring up ... (read in full...)
The proposal - Advice please ladies!
Q. Hi all, I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for a number of years now and wish to make a marriage proposal.. I just wish to make this as special for her as possible, because she deserves it! I intend on proposing to her w...
A. 17 September 2012: Well I was engaged recently and a newlywed so all of this is freshly in my head. We had talked about marriage pretty frequently before he proposed. When I started looking at rings I had never looked into engagement rings before so I had no idea what ... (read in full...)
Would you date a woman who is unemployed?
Q. Okay basically, I was living in another country with my fiance but that ended in disaster so I have to come back to England to restart my life from scratch. I am moving between towns and either staying with my parents or staying with friends, de...
A. 17 September 2012: Definitely won't turn them away. It isn't like you are a lazy mooch who never tried to do anything, you have a degree for goodness sakes! You had a tough spot in your life with your fiancé in a different country and you are starting over trying to ... (read in full...)
Is he right about the meaning of my tattoo?
Q. I have a yin and yang symbol on my wrist, a tattoo. But when the guy i'm seeing noticed it he said he didn't like it because it meant I believe in satan and it's quite emo? I said no, it means balance that everything has an equal an opposite reac...
A. 17 September 2012: The concept of yin and yang means shadow and light and describes how polar opposites are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world and how they give rise to each other in turn in relation to another. They are not opposing forces but ... (read in full...)
Is she playing hard to get, or is she not interested? Should I ask her out again anyway?
Q. I met a girl (a friend of a friend) on a night out the other day. We got talking and things got intimate pretty quickly. To cut a long story short we spent the whole night together and it was probably one of the best nights I've ever had. I don't ...
A. 17 September 2012: You sound a lot like me. Which is smart in this case. I think you should always just go for it, put it out there. If she isn't interested you move on, like you said. If she is then great. But you don't know until you try right?? So go with a text or ... (read in full...)
My husband has been having an affair for 12 of the 14 years we have been married. I don't know if I should end the marriage.
Q. I am married for 14 years and has two kids. My husband is cheating on me for 12 years with different women. I got the chance to talk to one of his other women would you believe we just talk and didnt had a fight! They broke up because I have all the ...
A. 17 September 2012: Agreed with tisha also. But wanted to add from a child's point of view. I grew up with an abusive father. All of my siblings hated him. I remember being jealous of my friend's parents who got divorces and I wished my mom would leave him but she ... (read in full...)
I helped pay for 2 friend's lunches and they haven't paid me back. Are they mooches or an I gullible?
Q. I feel pretty dumb but hear me out. This classmate of mine and I were out to lunch on campus. She forgot her wallet so I insisted on buying her coffee and a soup from the salad bar. It wasn't that expensive but that's not the point. She seemed ...
A. 17 September 2012: Oh well if you don't feel comfortable at all asking for it back I'd just leave it and take it as a learning lesson. It is after all only 10 dollars. But from now on don't loan anything to someone you don't feel comfortable asking it back from. And ... (read in full...)
His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.
Q. I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...
A. 17 September 2012: Have you asked him why it is still set to single? A lot of people don't pay much attention to their status. When I was first in my relationship I had to tell him to set it because he never cared what it was set to. Some people don't find it to be a ... (read in full...)
I gave him my phone number on Saturday but he hasn't called or texted. Is this a bad sign?
Q. I went out on saturday night with some friends and the guy I like and am currently flirting with wasn't there. But just before we left he turned up, saying he was just passing. He gave me a hug and asked what I was doing now. I said a few of us were ...
A. 17 September 2012: I don't know. I don't think it means much really. You gave him a card about something with eBay so he may not have felt comfortable contacting you about anything else. Also you didn't tell him you wanted him to contact you and some men are clueless ... (read in full...)
I helped pay for 2 friend's lunches and they haven't paid me back. Are they mooches or an I gullible?
Q. I feel pretty dumb but hear me out. This classmate of mine and I were out to lunch on campus. She forgot her wallet so I insisted on buying her coffee and a soup from the salad bar. It wasn't that expensive but that's not the point. She seemed ...
A. 17 September 2012: Maverick has good advice on handling this situation. I'd like to add that I don't ever loan money, even a dollar, unless they are very very good friends (I am comfortable with them to ask for it back, trust I will get it back and I don't feel used ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend enjoys a sexual act that causes me a lot of pain, I ask him not to but he threatens and does it anyway.
Q. I have a boyfriend who is really into a certain sexual act. I wont divulge too much because of the ages of some on this site. That being said, due to his size, this act is extremely painful and I don't like it. The problem is, he does like it, re...
A. 17 September 2012: Well you should leave him. There is no way it isn't an option at all, you are in for a rough future with this man as he obviously doesnt care about your feelings at all. He is far more interested in his enjoyment even though it causes you great ... (read in full...)
I'm a 20 year old virgin and would really like to know.... What does it feel like to be completely in love with someone, flaws and all?
Q. This probably sounds like a stupid question, but what does it feel like to be in love? I'm a 20 year old guy, never had a girlfriend or even any interest from a woman, still a virgin, never been kissed etc. So I really don't know what its like. I'm ...
A. 15 September 2012: First of all you are only 20! Time has not run out for you! You will meet someone, don't even worry about that.
Now what it feels like to be in love... I have felt differently for different people. Some were really intense and passionate, my husba... (read in full...)
My husband's children and grandchildren make me so unwelcome. What is the best way to handle this?
Q. What do you do when for seven years your husbands adult kids will not accept you? The x is nuts and my husband and I met when he had been divorced 4 years. My now husband's kids had been so mean to my daughter (26) till finally she will never h...
A. 15 September 2012: You are being ostracized. It has psychological ramifications and can make you feel an increase in sadness, despair, and hostility, and a decrease in self-esteem, belonging, and sense of control. It is no doubt they are doing this purposefully and ... (read in full...)
He forgot about the dating site? Could this just be a bit of his old types of behaviour coming back a bit?
Q. I am having a bit of a problem with my boyfriend at the moment...(We have been together 9 months and met through a mutual friend) We've recently had a few small issues, that are just like little arguments really, he's stressed with work and othe...
A. 15 September 2012: I would be wary if I were you. What is good is that he was honest when you brought it up. What's bad is that he spoke to some other woman. I do not see the reason for this. You can't possibly be trying to be "friends" with someone from a sex dating ... (read in full...)
Why did she do this to me, and how do I get over it?
Q. Dear Cupid, Back around the start of this year, I 'met' this 21-year old American girl* on Twitter. She was already following me and a number of other people I follow who were already following her, and so I ended up following her back. She p...
A. 15 September 2012: I want to make sure I've got this all correct. You started talking to her on twitter about 8 months ago. Within a week she crushed you and was talking about someone else she was interested in. I'm curious why you continued to talk to her at that ... (read in full...)
My fiancee's ex called her out of the blue and it has left me feeling worried, am I being irrational?
Q. Okay, a few nights ago my fiance's ex boyfriend called her out of the blue crying that his dad left his mom and everything. She talked for about 30 minutes trying to comfort him. This really bothered me. I've been known to have trust issues ...
A. 14 September 2012: I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect him out of the picture, he is an ex. And despite what problems he is going through it shouldn't be your fiance's problem to deal with. If you don't want her in contact with him then they aren't friends, ... (read in full...)
My husband waits until I've gone to bed to talk to a female co-worker, should I be worried?
Q. I know that my husband talks to a female co-worker. But he always waits till I go to bed to talk with her. She works mightnight shift. I don't think this is normal. Should I be worried?...
A. 14 September 2012: I agree with Honeypie. If I were in this situation I would set up a recorder of some type. This would probably be the only time I do not discuss it with him because I wouldn't want him to start acting on his toes. He shouldn't know you are ... (read in full...)
My ex lied to me yet his parents say that I ruined HIS life by being anal and distrustful!
Q. My ex and his female friend is saying I came into his life and he loved me but I ruined his life by being anal and distrustful. Back then we started dating into about 3-4 months, he gave me reasons to be suspicious so I checked his phone and found ...
A. 14 September 2012: Well the female friend is dumb first of all. Women in a relationship where they get the shit beat out of them don't tend to be nags.... They are quiet out of fear of being beaten. So congratulations to her, she stayed with someone that beat her ... (read in full...)
I put a lot of money into a gift for her and for my birthday she gets me... A text message?
Q. I have been dating and in a serious relationship for a little over a year now. We have known each other for 4+ years prior and always kinda had a thing for each other. Three months ago, it was her birthday and I saved up and bought her a nice $425 ...
A. 14 September 2012: Yes you do have a right to be hurt. Money isn't an issue, she could've done many thoughtful things that cost nothing and still showed she cared more than a text. What you should do is talk to her. Tell her it hurt you that all you recieved was a ... (read in full...)
I got my girlfriend mixed up with her twin sister and tried to get on with her. Should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. I was drunk one day after a party and a friend dropped me off at my girlfriends house. Not knowing my girlfriends twin sister was in the house i tried it on with her thinking she was my girlfriend. At the time i really couldn't tell the difference ...
A. 14 September 2012: No you need to tell her. It wasn't a big deal, it was a mistake and you didn't go through with anything. But if you keep it from her and it comes up (things have a way of doing this) then it went from nothing to something. She will wonder why if it ... (read in full...)
I'm back and in need of some more tough love. I do everything for her and she constantly curses at me and says I do nothing. I need help getting away.
Q. Well agony aunts... It's me. The one that moved to Tennessee to be with a woman I love, that turned out to be a rough ride with 3 kids... Bring back memories now. I wanted to provide an update and get more brutality thrown my way because it helps me ...
A. 14 September 2012: She may be bi polar. She may just be a bitch. Either way she sounds just god awful. I can't tell you why you are still into this woman. I haven't read any of your previous posts before. She obvioulsy wants all the attention and your sons out of your ... (read in full...)
My ex lied to me yet his parents say that I ruined HIS life by being anal and distrustful!
Q. My ex and his female friend is saying I came into his life and he loved me but I ruined his life by being anal and distrustful. Back then we started dating into about 3-4 months, he gave me reasons to be suspicious so I checked his phone and found ...
A. 14 September 2012: I had an ex whose parents made up stories of things I did, they told their whole family that I left him on the side of the interstate, just forced him out of my car. What the hell! It never happened, nothing like that ever even came close to ... (read in full...)
He is looking to move out behind my back and I'm afraid he's cheating on me again!
Q. My (gay) boyfriend and I have dated for more than a year and have been living together for one. Last month I found out accidentally that he has been looking for a room (he wanted to move out). I actually found that he has been looking for a room ...
A. 13 September 2012: I think you know the answer to this too... He has cheated on you before. Left you. Came back to you only because that relationship didn't work out. Now he has lied to you twice about trying to move out. And you find sexual texts on his phone. You ... (read in full...)
My husband no longer loves me or wants to live with me. I still want to be together even with him feeling this way. Is it worse to live with us both unhappy or to lose the love of my life?
Q. Here's the situation. I'm totally in love with my husband and I'm desperate for us to get back together. He has fallen out of love with me and cannot bring himself to be with me sexually. We're still friends and see each other nearly everyday. We ...
A. 13 September 2012: It's more painful to be with him while he is out with someone else. You are constantly reminded that he doesn't love you. You lose self respect and dignity because you love someone so much yet you watch them go out with other women and move on from ... (read in full...)
I thought she was interested but now I haven't heard from her in days. What now?
Q. So I met this girl and got her number. I called her up a few days later and left her a voicemail about getting together. Almost two days passed and I didn't hear from her and then she texted me. We set up a date for the next week. It went extremely ...
A. 13 September 2012: Well I was younger and thought it was obvious on the date that I was uninterested. Some I would say I am still into my ex, others wouldn't listen to anything so they were ignored instead. With her kissing you it's a different situation. Anyhow you ... (read in full...)
Is it my insecurity or is my boyfriend being mean to me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year. Usually, the relationship is pretty great. But I'm having a problem with him right now, and I don't know who is to blame- him or me. He just started back at school which takes up his entire day, ...
A. 13 September 2012: It's a little of both. Because he is not receptive to feelings his callous answers hurt you and make you feel like he doesn't care. You want him to sit with you, hug you and say it's all okay. That he would never do anything to hurt you. You want ... (read in full...)
I thought she was interested but now I haven't heard from her in days. What now?
Q. So I met this girl and got her number. I called her up a few days later and left her a voicemail about getting together. Almost two days passed and I didn't hear from her and then she texted me. We set up a date for the next week. It went extremely ...
A. 13 September 2012: After 2 calls and voicemails I wouldn't. If she's interested she will get back in touch. I've had guys in the past I was trying to ditch by ignoring them and they kept texting every few days. I didn't see why they didn't get the hint and it became ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else really like feet?
Q. It may sound like a random question, but does anybody have an attraction to feet? I have liked them since childhood. I'm not into sucking toes or anything (not knocking it, it's just not my thing). I like touching female feet, massaging them, and ...
A. 13 September 2012: Yeah I know of a guy who has a foot fetish. He likes to rub feet and the idea of a woman using her feet to rub his penis. I hate feet and they gross me out personally, but you aren't abnormal. ... (read in full...)
Should I send him a 'goodbye' letter after he broke up with me?
Q. He broke up with me more than a week ago. We were together for one and half years, spending the first six months together and another one year long distance. He's european, I'm asian. He's 22. I'm 29. Not the easiest situation huh. He tol...
A. 13 September 2012: Hi, I answered your previous posts about this relationship.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ldr-break-up-because-of-my-neediness.html
You already have explained to him that your neediness caused you to act the way you did and he understoo... (read in full...)
I thought she was interested but now I haven't heard from her in days. What now?
Q. So I met this girl and got her number. I called her up a few days later and left her a voicemail about getting together. Almost two days passed and I didn't hear from her and then she texted me. We set up a date for the next week. It went extremely ...
A. 13 September 2012: She could be playing games. Could also be juggling a couple different dates, which is fine when the two of you arent exclusive. Either way you called her twice and left voicemails. It's up to her now. There is no reason to call again, you will begin ... (read in full...)
Should tell her myself or let her find out in the end?
Q. I have kind of a weird situation. One that would either make me sound helpful or make me sound like a raging *itch. I dated a guy named "Mike" and he turned out to be a complete butt hole. While we were dating he started talking to a gir...
A. 13 September 2012: Leave it. You found out pretty easily what he was up to, she could too if she was smart. He doesn't sound like a mastermind when asking you to check his phone while he is talking to another girl behind your back. I'm guessing she's naive and a ... (read in full...)
She knows I love and miss her so why does she tease me this way?
Q. My ex dumped me about 3 month ago after we had been together for nerly 6 years as we had not been getting on lately and arguing a lot and has refused to speak to me ever since. She Started seeing a new lad not long after we broke up and Will not ...
A. 13 September 2012: Attention. She likes the idea of you being jealous of her and her new boyfriend. She sounds pretty immature honestly. My sister used to do this crap, would talk to her ex that was still very into her and tell him how great her new bf was at ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty and lonely. How can I move on?
Q. This guy and I parted ways a little more than a month ago, not because we had issues but because we both are now living in different countries. I talk to him often, and I miss him all the time (and sometimes it makes me want to cry). I think he ...
A. 13 September 2012: I assume you feel guilty because you still both talk frequently and you have feelings for each other, so therefore talking to other men is like you are cheating on him. I would reccomend either 2 options.
One would be to try to do the long dis... (read in full...)
Should I acknowledge my ex's birthday?
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. It was a mutual agreement as the relationship wasn't working out. We haven't spoke in 3 months since the break up. (we both decided never to speak again) Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm ...
A. 13 September 2012: I don't think it matters and should be left alone. You aren't together anymore and don't speak anymore, therefore you aren't even friends. You don't say happy birthday to people you don't speak to. Not saying anything on her birthday doesn't show ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't it be a given that he would give his life for me, as I would for him?
Q. We dated for 1 year and then have been engaged for 3 years. The other day we were having a conversation about life and my fiance turned to me and said to me "I love you so much, that I think I may even die for you." Maybe I am being over ana...
A. 12 September 2012: That's a pretty hard and serious thing for someone to say. You are talking about giving your life as if it were a piece of candy someone wants. I think it was a deep thing for him to be feeling and share with you and you are essentially not taking ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he wouldn't go out of his way to protect me! Should I get rid of him?
Q. this is probably really stupid but i was talking to my bf and before we hit the city, was joking about getting mugged and asked if he'd protect me. he said he wasn't going to go out of his way if it'd put himself in danger. i was like, so you'd ...
A. 12 September 2012: I had a similar stupid hypothetical question for my husband early in our relationship. Something about dying for me, shoving me out of the way of an incoming car, something like that. He didn't say what I wanted to hear. I don't remember the answer ... (read in full...)
Am I really unloveable?
Q. I’m 27 and have never had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship for that matter. I just can’t understand the why of it all. No woman has ever wanted me. My love just isn’t good enough for some reason. I’ve gone so far as to ask my friends f...
A. 12 September 2012: Ok I have talked to a couple of different men who are in your type of situation. It's hard to tell by talking to you through here what your problems could be when speaking to women or how you come across.
To answer your first question, women ca... (read in full...)
This guy cancelled a date at the last moment, twice, to me. Why do guys do this?
Q. Any advice as to why he kept blowing me out. Me and this guy used to work together we got on really well, there was chemistry between us from day one, we arranged to got out but he cancelled on me on the day (this was when we worked together)...
A. 12 September 2012: Nah it isn't a guy thing, it's just him. An undependable person if you will. I've met men and women like this. One guy made plans to come to dinner with me as friends but blew me off because a girl he had a chance of having sex with wanted to go out ... (read in full...)
My Co-worker has a Gf but keeps on winking at me. I'm interested, but how should I indicate that? Or could I be mistaking his intentions?
Q. I have a coworker that has been winking at me for sometime. I didnt really pay it any attention at first because I thought that he was just friendly. However,I really noticed it this last time when he winked really slow and pointed his finger at me ...
A. 12 September 2012: All that winking sounds weird and annoying, that would turn me off real quick. But I am curious, why are you wanting to go ahead with a guy that has a girlfriend? Are you just wanting to have sex with him? I guess since he is a creepy winking guy he ... (read in full...)
What am I? Bi, straight, something else?
Q. I'm unsure about my sexuality. I'm an 18 year old guy, and have always been attracted to girls, I get turned on by girls, and date and have sex with girls. But here's the thing, having sex with another guy where I penetrate them, kiss them, or le...
A. 12 September 2012: I'm a little confused. You first say that letting a man penetrate you or suck you off doesn't bother you. Then you say in the next paragraph it's revolting and you wouldn't be able to go through with it. Have you ever done anything with a man ... (read in full...)
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