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*tayc63088

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*tayc63088's profile:

My name is Stacey. I've been on this site for years. I come and go at times depending on how busy life is.

I've had my share of relationships. And quite a few odd ones at that. I love to give advice when I have been in a similar situation and feel I can help out some. I feel my most common advice is to COMMUNICATE. A lot of people write in about a partner they have been with for years and ask how to tell their partner such and such. A relationship needs communication. Be open and honest always.

I am a newlywed. No children yet. But anyhow, feel free to email me anytime if you need someone to talk to :)

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Extreme guilt after faking a pregnancy

Q.   This is really hard for me to write about. When I was 16 I faked a pregnancy with my boyfriend at the time. I definitely had some sort of issues, I was cutting myself at the time and extremely depressed, manipulative, and obsessive. H...

A.   1 October 2012: I think you should see a counselor/therapist. You seem very depressed and honestly I think you feel far too guilty. Plus you have had depressing thoughts in the past and used to cut yourself so you should get help to the root of this. As for who ... (read in full...)

Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?

Q.   I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...

A.   1 October 2012: I agree with Mandy. You aren't going to be in the relationship anymore so end it with your gf and leave it alone. There's no reason to deal with the family and it's none of your business what her parents do. Just move on and leave it behind. Maybe ... (read in full...)

Do I keep it to myself or tell my sister? My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair

Q.   Yesterday was the worst day of my life. My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair,he trusted me enough to tell me, but I feel like I'm betraying my sister. Please help me what should I do????? My sister also has a life treat...

A.   29 September 2012: When you say life threatening illness do you mean she will pass away within a year or just has a shorter lifespan than average would be? I ask because my sister and I have a life shortening disease, avg life span is 40 but if you are doing well it's ... (read in full...)

Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?

Q.   I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...

A.   29 September 2012: I think you do need to tell her. Even if you and her mom both promised not to say a word things have a way of coming out by accident. You can't plan and trust a woman you barely know to keep this a secret, who knows what could happen? She could get ... (read in full...)

I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend's friend.....

Q.   Hello. I have developed strong feelings for a friend who I have known for some time, and he is a friend of my boyfriend for years. I met him the same day I met my boyfriend before we were dating. He was obviously interested at the time and is still ...

A.   26 September 2012: I've been in this situation twice. One time I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and me and the friend started dating. I didn't love my boyfriend, I felt I meshed a lot better with his friend, he was much more my type. Boyfriend and I didn't ... (read in full...)

Messed up real bad! Need help and advice.

Q.   Hello! I am new to this but I am trying to get all the help that I can get at this point. Well here it goes. Four days ago my fiancee and I got into a little fight at a wedding and left there right away which turned into a bigger fight down the ...

A.   26 September 2012: First of all your relationship sounds very volatile.... That's not a normal fight to have in a healthy relationship. You kicked her out of the car, bad enough, then she calls the police on you?? In addition to the psychical fighting, this is all ... (read in full...)

Is it odd that I can only contact my BF via facebook?

Q.   Is it strange that the only way i can contact/speak to my boyfriend in the evenings is via facebook? We've been together for 4 years. I dont think he is cheating but i dont understand it. When he gets home from work, he puts his phone away and d...

A.   26 September 2012: After 4 years only seeing each other on the weekend is odd in itself, unless maybe you are long distance, which is the only excuse. As kc said, if he turned off his phone to relax in the evening then he wouldn't be sitting on Facebook either.... ... (read in full...)

What kind of sexy lingerie should I buy? I feel fat!

Q.   i really need help, me and my partner are going away for the weekend to see his family and staying in a hotel. hes paying and the thing is he wants me to wear sumthing sexy well where in the hotel, i dont have a clue what to wear as have never do...

A.   25 September 2012: The best advice is to visit a lingerie store and try on different outfits. I've done this a few times. I looked online and thought something looked great but when trying it on it didn't fit my body well at all. I always go to Victoria's secret but ... (read in full...)

What kind of sexy lingerie should I buy? I feel fat!

Q.   i really need help, me and my partner are going away for the weekend to see his family and staying in a hotel. hes paying and the thing is he wants me to wear sumthing sexy well where in the hotel, i dont have a clue what to wear as have never do...

A.   25 September 2012: The best advice is to visit a lingerie store and try on different outfits. I've done this a few times. I looked online and thought something looked great but when trying it on it didn't fit my body well at all. I always go to Victoria's secret but ... (read in full...)

My long distance boyfriend changed his relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'. Is he cheating?

Q.   I'm in long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We both are sixteen years old. We met on facebook 2 months ago and he asked me for relationship after 1 month. I love him alot. Everything was going perfect ...

A.   25 September 2012: I am already aware that you won't listen to any advice here. Teenaged girls can be very hard headed when they think they are in love. I will talk to you anyway. When I was a teenager I thought I was in love with a boy across the country from me. He ... (read in full...)

I wish I had stopped her wedding but I didn't so how do I move on?

Q.   looking for any advice about this situation. i have been friends with this girl since we were 8 years old, we have grown up together same schools and friendship groups. we got close at 15, seeing each other all the time, skyping and texting ever...

A.   25 September 2012: Well you say you can't not have her in your life but that's exactly what you have to do. You are torturing yourself by being around a woman you can't be with. Every time you see her then have to leave while she stays with her husband is torture. ... (read in full...)

How do I stop snapping at my mom?

Q.   Hi. So I'm 24 and living at home. Lately I have been so frustrated and I'm very impatient with my mum. I have been snapping at her and feel fed up with the constant questions of everyday life. I never moved out for uni as it was just a 15min b...

A.   25 September 2012: I can get irritable at times and act the same way. What I do is wait until I've calmed down and apologize for snapping then explain why. You can tell her you are sorry for being irritable and just tend to get frustrated when she ____. Whatever it is ... (read in full...)

Anal sex makes me feel like I'm being ripped in half!

Q.   Hey everyone i have a question, my husband and i decided that we want to try anal, we use a lott of lub and go nice and slow but i cant stand the pain it just makes me want to scream. It feels like im being ripped in half, hes being patient with me ...

A.   25 September 2012: I tried it once to say I've tried it and it felt the same way. Most uncomfortable pain ever. Just don't try it anymore, it obviously doesn't work for you. ... (read in full...)

Guys, would you have reacted in the same way as my boyfriend to the fact that I am a virgin at 20?

Q.   So this guy i'm seeing we were getting really close and things were intense, I wanted to go the whole way but I stopped him and said I can't i'm still a virgin, but told him I want to, just not yet. I'm ready, i'm just not sure yet if I want to...

A.   24 September 2012: Ugh please dump him. I've never heard such an insulting reaction. What I feel it really was, was a man that wanted to have sex, you didn't, so he proceeded to insult you and guilt you in hopes that you would come around. Like you would think "oh I ... (read in full...)

My boyfriends disrespectful past is stopping me from moving on with our future?

Q.   My boyfriend has been terrible in the past, staring at other women in public, buying disgusting mens magazines and putting them in plain sight where i could see them and thinking nothing of it, flirting with other girls behind my back and thinking ...

A.   24 September 2012: In my experience they do not change. If he had the ability to do dishonest things behind your back and feel no remorse for it then he certainly can again. He may be happy now and willing to change everything but put him in the same type of situation ... (read in full...)

Why can't I get a girl anymore?

Q.   Before I was depressed people said I was cute and fun to be around. People would tell me I could get any girl I wanted. When I hit 15 I got acne and got depressed for NO reason. I think hormones screwed me up or something. Now I'm 18 and still no ...

A.   24 September 2012: You have been depressed and miserable for the last 3 years? That isn't normal hormones. You know other people your age, does anyone else feel depressed for years? I've never heard of that being common for teenagers. I think you should see a ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend keeping his options open?

Q.   I am not sure what to think. My boyfriend of six months is flirting with one of his clients, whom he also considers a friend. I have asked him if he finds her attractive and he has answered she is beautiful. They laugh a lot together from what I ...

A.   24 September 2012: I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation that's for sure. You asked if she was attractive and he replied that she's beautiful...? Seems odd to openly tell your girlfriend that. Maybe "yeah she's attractive" is acceptable but not to throw out ... (read in full...)

Should I go and see him or write him off?

Q.   I met a guy one night that I really liked and we arranged to meet up again. The date went well until he said that he wasn't looking for a relationship and he came on a little strong so I rejected him as I didn't feel ready to take such a step. I ...

A.   24 September 2012: I think you acted perfectly. You weren't jumping at the chance to see him again, you told him you were busy. I don't think he is trying to get back at you for any rejection in the past. He just wants sex, that's all. Just because he was nice to you ... (read in full...)

Why hasn't real love come my way?

Q.   I am looking for a committed relationship but I don't know how.. I am tired of the games,lies, cheating the whole nine yards. i mean I am getting older time is running thin, not that I'm older than dust, but I am 40 now and I think it's time to ...

A.   24 September 2012: I agree with ciar and was wondering the same thing... Where do you meet these blind date losers that are wife beaters? I've been on many blind dates and never had any of those issues. Boring and unattractive maybe, but nothing as serious as what you ... (read in full...)

He says I am the problem, but doesn't want me to get help!

Q.   Well now where do i begin.. I've been married for 4 for starters total of 4 kids (2 from previous 10 yr relationship) I've known my husband for a total of 12 years altho we've only been together 6 we were friends before. My problem.. when he gets ...

A.   22 September 2012: He feels threatened because he thinks once you "fix" yourself you will leave, that a sane person won't put up with him. He is correct. He knows he is an awful person and husband, HE should be the one in therapy but the likelihood of that happening ... (read in full...)

We argued, she left, and blocked me in every way. How can I get her back?

Q.   I'll try and keep this short. My girlfriend and I had a silly argument nearly 4 weeks ago, and because of a misunderstanding she stormed off and I haven't heard from her since. She's completely avoiding me to the point of deleting me as a Face...

A.   21 September 2012: She said you were the one for her in the past. This happens in every relationship that ends... It starts out great, you love each other, you think they are the one until some stuff happens and you break up and move on. This is life. I've said these ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mom has just died, would it be wrong of me to ask him to delete this girl from Facebook now?

Q.   OK extension of a previous question or ongoing issue sorry so long, My BF broke up with me last Nov for 13 days started talking and befriending a new girl but they never made it on a date due to a death in her family, but he said he never really ...

A.   21 September 2012: I'm glad you feel better. Sorry for all you are going through and I should've shared my condolences on your loss. But for today, happy birthday!! I hope you have a good one despite everything going on. ... (read in full...)

His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...

A.   21 September 2012: Congratulations! You made a good choice. Now you can meet someone more committed and open to talking. ... (read in full...)

What colour scheme for a room of a 20 year old would look nice?

Q.   this isn't a relationship question, just more so of a question. I'm decorating my room and I wondered what colour scheme is nicest to have, it's a plain room with cream walls. I don't know whether red, dark gold and some black or green would look ...

A.   20 September 2012: I find a comforter set or matching furniture then I take my wall color from there. For instance if you find a bed set with pink, white and purple stripes you can grab the pink or purple or any color that would complement those colors. I would never ... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting to the constant texts and calls

Q.   Boyfriend constantly texting and calling another woman.... Please help, i have been with my partner for 4years and to be honest it hasnt been easy, after the 1st year he dumped me as he had feelings for a female friend. we got back together a...

A.   20 September 2012: I'm pretty sure he's already cheated. Well he's definitely emotionally cheating, but I think he has physically as well. Of course when asking him he will say all the right things.... That's what these guys do! You watch their ACTIONS and forget the ... (read in full...)

We argued, she left, and blocked me in every way. How can I get her back?

Q.   I'll try and keep this short. My girlfriend and I had a silly argument nearly 4 weeks ago, and because of a misunderstanding she stormed off and I haven't heard from her since. She's completely avoiding me to the point of deleting me as a Face...

A.   20 September 2012: I assume you told her in the emails that you now understand her point of view and you were wrong, love her, and wish to try again? And you have sent her flowers. It's time to stop. She went to the extreme of blocking you and changing her number, it ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's ex still has keys to his flat

Q.   I'm so stressed out, I really need to share this, I've been with this guy for 3 months, very much like him, but his ex is always coming round. She has like keys to the flat, comes and stays for weekends if she's in town. Plus not only that but she ...

A.   20 September 2012: You are not a jealous girlfriend, you are a sane one. No woman in their right mind would allow their boyfriend to do these things. An ex is an ex for a reason and she should stay in his PAST. The sex issues are just a whole nother can of worms I ... (read in full...)

Is he very shy or just not interested in me?

Q.   Hello, all. Ok so....I basically, well, I'm a dork aha. Really I am, because apparantly I'm the type of girl that writes letters to the boy she likes. I even did the little check box thing....yes. But here's the thing, I had already told the...

A.   20 September 2012: I don't think you are a dork, I did the same letter to a boy I had a crush on in high school, with believe it or not the same outcome. I never got a real answer from him. I think you have done enough. You told him twice now you are interested so ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a married man who is ready to leave his wife for me but I don't want to break up a family. What should I do?

Q.   I am in love with a married man. I am 23 he is 29. He is willing to leave his wife for me. She lives in another country. I don't know what to do, because ever though we are deeply in love with each other, i don't want to break up a family. They ...

A.   20 September 2012: He's so in love with you and willing to get a divorce... What's stopping him? You separated BECAUSE hes still married, so wouldn't he have then gotten a divorce to get his soul mate(you) back, rather than leave the city...? It doesn't appear that he ... (read in full...)

Why will my boyfriend give his friend money but won't help me?

Q.   my boyfriend supports a woman who is just a friend he hardly ever sees her but gives her $$ all the time. my water is shut off but he wont help me how can i get him to help? he is with me most all the time....

A.   20 September 2012: His money is his money... Sure it is. But the way he is choosing to spend it, on a girl that isn't his gf, shows how much he "cares" about you. I agree that you should be able to pay your own bills, but a caring partner doesn't let their significant ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mom has just died, would it be wrong of me to ask him to delete this girl from Facebook now?

Q.   OK extension of a previous question or ongoing issue sorry so long, My BF broke up with me last Nov for 13 days started talking and befriending a new girl but they never made it on a date due to a death in her family, but he said he never really ...

A.   20 September 2012: I won't say anything about the darts and him lying to you about it until I can find and read your post on that. As for this I'd have to agree that "thinking of you" is a very, very common phrase when giving condolences. Also people on fb tend to say ... (read in full...)

Not enough money for a wedding, should we elope?

Q.   Ok so I'm newly engaged and the date is set for early 2014, after my fiance graduates from university. My problem is that my mom who would be paying for the wedding cannot afford it. Both me and my finance don't have our careers started yet, so ...

A.   20 September 2012: You have a lot of advice suggesting you postpone this wedding. I'll tell you what me and my husband did instead since I'm sure you now are aware of the ability to wait to get married. We wanted a small wedding with only immediate family members.... (read in full...)

Am I over-reacting? He thinks he may have got a girl pregnant before he me me. I don't think my heart can take.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together going on seven months now I love him and he is the best thing that has happen to me in a long time. He is as good as they come I couldnt ask for a better man. We were expecting our first child together but I mi...

A.   18 September 2012: I can only tell you how the relationship was for me in a similar situation. I dated a guy that had a young child, maybe 3. At first I thought I'd be fine with it. But over time I got more upset over it all. The ex (baby's mom) was always around. ... (read in full...)

Proposal to share FB passwords to deal with Trust issues - too far?

Q.   reached the point in our relationship where trust issues are flaring, now both trying to resolve the issues. We have come to the conclusion to share fb passwords, (have not done so yet) told her id seek help first before we do this. Just wondering ...

A.   18 September 2012: Well I do have some questions. Why do you have trust issues? Is it only an issue with Facebook? I don't see a problem sharing passwords. My husband and I know all the passwords to everything we have. I don't see the problem with that. If he needs me ... (read in full...)

I feel too skinny - am I over-reacting to not having enough weight?

Q.   I know that I should not care about what others think but this is coming from my neighbors, boyfriend, and friends.. I lose and gain weight really quick. I am 120 pounds and im 5'5 and I feel like I am perfectly fine. Everyone thinks I look super ...

A.   18 September 2012: I also lose and gain weight quickly and easily. But I have a lung disease that keeps my pancreas from absorbing nutrients so it's quite difficult to put on weight, I have to take pills which are enzymes. Is there a reason for the way you lose weight ... (read in full...)

I treated her badly but now I want her back

Q.   I cheated on a woman who was madly in love with me four years ago. Not only did I cheat on her, I disrespected her, lied to her, bit her, talked bad about her behind her back to co-workers and family members. I strung her along and I put her at risk ...

A.   18 September 2012: I hate to tell you this as you are obviously vey unaware, but you are the same selfish person you were. You treated her like complete shit and now expect her to be over it because you apologized and decided to come back... You really need to get ... (read in full...)

Is lack of physical attraction a valid reason to break up with someone?

Q.   My boyfriend isn't attractive to me. I'm not implying that he's ugly or that other people might not find him good looking but I don't. He's a good person and treats me well and we're getting to that age where we're thinking about serious commitme...

A.   18 September 2012: No, there isn't too much of an emphasis on sex. A healthy sex life is essential to a healthy relationship. If you are already cranky with him about it then it's time to let go. How would he feel in a sexless marriage? He would probably say no. At ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend keeps files on all his previous girlfriends

Q.   My boyfriend keeps files on all his ex-girlfriends. Is this normal? He was on a dating site before he met me and he had files, manila folders, with print-outs of the women he dated and their correspondence back and forth through the computer. ...

A.   18 September 2012: At first I thought that's a little weird, having folders and print outs of ex's description of houses and dates... Then the more I read the creepier it got. dating each time they had sex and sleeping clothed or not... And showering behavior. That ... (read in full...)

Should I make amends with my ex girlfriend who's getting married? 

Q.   i can't get over the fact that my first love, my college ex-girlfriend is getting married. I heard the news from my former roommate who was also a friend of hers. when she and i were together she was a bit apprehensive with the two of us having sex. ...

A.   18 September 2012: I think you felt bad all these years but didn't go ahead and call her to apologize and get her back. You want to now because you feel like you have lost her. Which then makes you reflect on the relationship with rose colored glasses and makes you ... (read in full...)

He is looking to move out behind my back and I'm afraid he's cheating on me again!

Q.   My (gay) boyfriend and I have dated for more than a year and have been living together for one. Last month I found out accidentally that he has been looking for a room (he wanted to move out). I actually found that he has been looking for a room ...

A.   18 September 2012: Good job dumping him! I'm sorry it had to end that way but at least the loser can be out of your life. It hurts now but he did you a favor, when someone treats you like crap and cheats it is much easier to move on because you KNOW you can do better ... (read in full...)

My husband has been having an affair for 12 of the 14 years we have been married. I don't know if I should end the marriage.

Q.   I am married for 14 years and has two kids. My husband is cheating on me for 12 years with different women. I got the chance to talk to one of his other women would you believe we just talk and didnt had a fight! They broke up because I have all the ...

A.   18 September 2012: You are destined to be miserable with this man. Sorry. You have come up with excuses for why you can't leave. If you wanted to leave you can make it happen. You could get a job, you could stay with family or friends. Instead you are still worried ... (read in full...)

His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...

A.   18 September 2012: Then a Facebook status is the last of your worries... You are scared to even speak to him about this, that's not a healthy relationship. And you have a gut feeling he is cheating, also isn't a healthy relationship. It isn't pressurizing to bring up ... (read in full...)

My husband has been having an affair for 12 of the 14 years we have been married. I don't know if I should end the marriage.

Q.   I am married for 14 years and has two kids. My husband is cheating on me for 12 years with different women. I got the chance to talk to one of his other women would you believe we just talk and didnt had a fight! They broke up because I have all the ...

A.   17 September 2012: Agreed with tisha also. But wanted to add from a child's point of view. I grew up with an abusive father. All of my siblings hated him. I remember being jealous of my friend's parents who got divorces and I wished my mom would leave him but she ... (read in full...)

His status on Facebook is listed as single but we have been together for 5 months and he says he loves me.

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 5 months now and it has been pretty tumultuous but I care for him and he says that he loves me. Does he mean it? That, I don't know. The one thing that is bothering me is that he has single as his status on Facebook, ...

A.   17 September 2012: Have you asked him why it is still set to single? A lot of people don't pay much attention to their status. When I was first in my relationship I had to tell him to set it because he never cared what it was set to. Some people don't find it to be a ... (read in full...)

He is looking to move out behind my back and I'm afraid he's cheating on me again!

Q.   My (gay) boyfriend and I have dated for more than a year and have been living together for one. Last month I found out accidentally that he has been looking for a room (he wanted to move out). I actually found that he has been looking for a room ...

A.   13 September 2012: I think you know the answer to this too... He has cheated on you before. Left you. Came back to you only because that relationship didn't work out. Now he has lied to you twice about trying to move out. And you find sexual texts on his phone. You ... (read in full...)

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