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... Send Spanner28 a private message | | | Spanner28's profile:Hey im Katy im 22 and live in yorkshire, england. I am currently single after leaving the love of my life, but it wasnt without its reasons. I have spent pretty much the past 10 years helping people out. Whenever a friend has a problem they will instantly come to me and i will always put everyone elses problems before my own. I like to think my advice is simple yet affective. I hope to follow through with this and become a counsellor so i can use my skills for an even greater cause. I am extremely open with everyones problems and i will make time for each and every person who comes to me with one. I do specialise in any form of relationship issues, especially break-ups, cheating and ex partners. There is no problem too stupid, hard, tricky or simple that i cant help you with so please contact me if you feel the need to talk to someone who has had experience in pretty much every situation going xx |
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She's sending mixed messages but I want to be with her!
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost five years. We lived together for a long time, but we recently decided to call it quits. At the time it seemed like the correct decision, as we both had questions/concerns about where our relationship was going. ...
A. 5 August 2009: When we suffer the torment of a breakup, our minds fill with endless questions that are sometimes impossible to answer by ourselves so we turn to our ex partner. This is not the best solution yet its obviously the one you have taken so lets just cut ... (read in full...)
Why do all the girls cheat on me?
Q. So I just found out my girlfriend is cheating on me. This has become a pattern. Every girlfriend I've ever had ended up sleeping with someone else. Right now I'm finding it difficult to trust women. My best friend says I need to go out and be a ...
A. 3 June 2009: Statistics show that men cheat on women a hell of a lot more than women cheat on men. Do you know why that is? Its because men have a penchant need to have their cake and eat it. They want the stability of a relationship and knowing they will always ... (read in full...)
Ex-girlfriend may be confused, now I'm confused. Help?
Q. Women in particular, I'm looking for some advice. My fiance and I recently split up actually about 8 days ago after 5 years. I found what I thought was cheating, I'm not sure if she was sleeping with the guy or just good friends, when I asked her...
A. 3 June 2009: Im sorry if this isnt what you want to hear but this girl is taking you for a serious ride..in basic terms, she is using you.
My ex was like her, seemed overly interested in me one minute then would get very distant the next (though he never ch... (read in full...)
What does my ex boyfriend want from me?!
Q. seriously...BEAM ME UP SCOTTY! My ex..he is an arsehole and the love of my life. He comes crawling back a week ago after i managed to keep him out of my life for 2 months, he was begging for my forgiveness for the way he has treated me and i...
A. 23 May 2009: Thanx everyone for your replies, mixed responses there. Well at about 11:30 last night, he text me saying (and i quote) "im so so so sorry darl i have only just woke up i am so sorry". I didnt text back. This morning we talked and he said he was ... (read in full...)
Do you think he'll come back?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have just broken up, he has been seeing another woman for a month, I found this out yesterday. We've been together for a year and a half and I feel as though my whole life has come tumbling down. I know who the woman is and ...
A. 19 April 2009: Im not going to wave my magic wand and utter the words "youre better off without him" because right now they arent the words you want to hear.Firstly i want to say im sorry that your so called other half has decieved you in the worst way, i cant ... (read in full...)
Why would he block me on Facebook?
Q. Hi, this may sound like a really stupid question, but am a little confused. I was going out with a boy last year and things ended really badly. He finished with me. He has now been in a new relationship for six months. We were friends on facebook ...
A. 19 April 2009: Its not stupid because my cousin went through a similar situation. She was with a lad for about 10 months and they were in love with each other until he started to treat her more like a servant than a girlfriend. They broke up but attempted to stay ... (read in full...)
4 months and I still cry over him... not because I still love him but because I'm hurt.
Q. I am asking for advice and just a comment! Please be honest! I am 13 and I am going on and off with my ex-boyfriend for about a year. Every time we go out we are the main thing in each others life. We spend a good amount of time with each other an...
A. 19 April 2009: Oh sweetheart youre so young why on earth are you letting yourself be so emotionally drained at your age? Im 23 this year and believe me i have had some hard times where men are concerned, especially my ex who i too left 4 months ago. I was deeply ... (read in full...)
Why does it feel like he only wants to know behind closed doors away from everyone else as if I'm some kind of freak?
Q. I just don't understand this. Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago now and he begged me to be mates with him.. he messed it up and we didnt talk.. then 2 weeks later he asked if we could meet up so I did just for a chat and what not and he ...
A. 9 March 2009: You are both so right. The night he pissed me off I told him where to go and removed him from everything like facebook,msn etc and it felt amazing. And to make it even more satisfying I saw him in the club and he was staring at me all night while I ... (read in full...)
Being naked in front of a man terrifies me....any advice??
Q. Ive got a weird problem. Ive lost 5 stone in weight and im am a slim size 10. I do have a little excess skin on my tummy from the weight loss but the i seem to have a fat vagina. Its sticks out when i lie down like a mountain and when i stand up it ...
A. 26 January 2009: Congratulations on loosing the weight, its a great acheivement. I put on a lot of weight when i was pregnant and i am still yet to shift it but i too have the same issue but you are making a big deal out of nothing. When we put on weight it will go ... (read in full...)
Is being friends with your ex after a break-up completely impossible?
Q. I've never been friends after break-ups with my past ex-boyfriends, but this time, I want to stay as friends with my ex-boyfriend. And he seems like he feels awkward about the idea and does not hang out with me after the breakup. Is being friends ...
A. 25 January 2009: It is very possible, i know because i left my boyfriend 3 weeks ago and we are best mates now, i am also friends with another ex from 4 years ago. However, some people find it extremely hard to go from lover to friend..they cant emotionally deal ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to split up with my b/f
Q. So basically I want to split up with my boyfriend but I don't know how. I've spoken to a couple of friends about it and they both have very different opinions. One friend thinks I should just it over and done with as soon as possible as I've wanted ...
A. 25 January 2009: You arent the first lass to want to leave their relationship and you certainly wont be the last. I too lost my feelings for an ex a few years ago, ( we were good mates beforehand) i too had the painful task of deciding what the best way was to leave ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing cutting him out?
Q. Last Friday my boyfriend and I broke up. He was the first guy I ever really loved and I was completely heartbroken. He broke up with me because he's been having a tough time at home lately and he's been accidently taking his anger out on me. He said ...
A. 25 January 2009: People who have just come out of a relationship have the tough decision of deciding wether they want them to remain a part of their lives or not. Definately not an easy decision, i know this because i too was in your situation not so long ago. I am ... (read in full...)
I miss my ex so much, is there still a chance of us getting back together?
Q. hey all! my gf split up with me nearly 3 months now and we'd been together for 4 years, I know that she is still missing me, I'm making the most of what I can, going out with freinds starting a new career and generally geting on with my life except ...
A. 23 January 2009: Im confident because ive been there before as have many of my mates. Exs feel safe around the people they have got close to and these are the people they come to when they need someone more than ever. If you think positive thoughts then you will get ... (read in full...)
Gay sex tips appreciated.
Q. hey there guys.. I've got a problem which is a tad sentitive. Well I'm 17 and I've been straight up until about 18 or so months ago.. where this belgian lad captured my heart. I've fallen deeply in love with him and yes I'm now fully gay in the...
A. 23 January 2009: Well im not a man, nor am i gay but one of my very closest mates has been gay since he was 11 (he is now 23) and the amount of times he has told me about what he does in his sex life leaves a lot to be reckoned with but i can let you in on some of ... (read in full...)
I'm kinda thinking at this moment that he doesn't care for me any more
Q. Hiya, this is a question 2 anyone but mainly guys, me and my ex still talk every day, he tells me about all these girls that he is shagging and I just go along with it and laugh, he nows I still like him, anyway speaking 2 someone 2day they said he ...
A. 23 January 2009: Oh darlin believe me this is something i can abseloutely relate to as my ex (whom i only left 3 weeks ago) is doing it with me. I can help you with this i promise just read what i have to say and take it in.
As you have probably already guessed,... (read in full...)
If I walk away now I'm afraid I'll lose her
Q. My ex girlfriend and i went out for about a year and a half before we broke up about 2 months ago. we broke up because she said she didnt want a relationship anymore. we were really close to getting back together until she read a text that i sent my ...
A. 23 January 2009: You arent alone. Like so many other people (myself included) you feel that if you walk away and get with someone else then your chances of getting your true love back are next to nothing. BUT let me tell you darlin, this is not the case at all.
... (read in full...)
He's been cheating on me with his ex!
Q. Hey guys can anyone help me please I'm so desperate at the moment. I've been with a guy for well a year however the first 6 months were unoffical and now it's offical... however throughout the whole time he was always still talking to his e...
A. 23 January 2009: If it was possible for a man to change as quickly as that then i dont think this site would exist and every counsellor would be out of a job. Men dont change like that, they just say it to get themselves out of an obviously difficult sitation.
... (read in full...)
He's on my mind every second of the day but we've split up. How can I get over him?
Q. Mine is a long story...... I was with my partner for 5 years and we lived together for 4 of them. Everything was great until we moved into our second house, money was really tight and we had no life together, we were practically living in each o...
A. 23 January 2009: Right i was in a similar situation last year with my partner who i broke up with over 3 weeks ago.
Firstly let me point out that acting desperate and clingy is the abseloute worst thing you can do. I begged and pleaded with my ex the first ti... (read in full...)
I miss my ex so much, is there still a chance of us getting back together?
Q. hey all! my gf split up with me nearly 3 months now and we'd been together for 4 years, I know that she is still missing me, I'm making the most of what I can, going out with freinds starting a new career and generally geting on with my life except ...
A. 23 January 2009: I can sympathise. I left my partner over 3 weeks ago and i miss him terribly even though i know i have 90% moved on. He already has a new girlfriend and sometimes these thoughts will pop in my head and ill think 'is he telling her he loves her right ... (read in full...)
Difference between gut feeling & being paranoid
Q. Hi, After a partner has cheated how to you differenciate between "am I just been paranoid" or is this "my gut feeling". My b/f cheated last year. We're trying to work things out and it seems to be fine. We live apart which dosent help me at all e...
A. 22 January 2009: Yes this feeling will go away but it will take a long time. This isnt something you can just push to the back of your mind and expect it to just erase itself, seems so horrible but its so true :(.
But over time it will get alot easier, every da... (read in full...)
Should you shave your arms?
Q. Should you shave your arms? It's just I have some quite dark hair on my arms, and I wondered if it's normal to shave your arms. It's not like super-dark, so I don't have to shave. I just wanted to know....
A. 22 January 2009: Satindesire, as much as you think you know the ins and outs of pretty much everything in the world i can guarantee you dont know shit about hair folicles or anything beauty related for that matter. I studied beauty therapy for 4 years and i know ... (read in full...)
Is he being serious or just messing with me? What's his motive?
Q. Okay, here's the basic story to this. There's this guy. I have to sit next to him in a class where it's very free-form and we can talk quiet so long as the teacher doesn't hear us. And he talks to me about um, the dirtiest things! And then there's ...
A. 21 January 2009: Men are so 2 sided its unreal. One minute they are acting all cocky and joking with you when their mates are in ear shot and then when they are on their own with you they become the sweetest people you could ever meet. This is very normal male ... (read in full...)
Is my teacher really flirting with me or am I overreacting?
Q. hey sorry if i sound a bit mixed in this question but i'm getting a bit freaked out... recently i noticed my religion teacher/hockey coach has been flirting with me a lot. i always thought he was a really nice teacher and he's pretty funny in ...
A. 21 January 2009: Teacher/pupil relationships are a big deal and can cause some very serious issues, including legal ones. Some teachers are just openly friendly with their students, they do this by making jokes, talking to you personally etc but if you feel this ... (read in full...)
If he cups your face when he kisses you, does he really like you?
Q. When a guy kisses you for the first time and he cups your face with both hands does that mean he really likes you?...
A. 21 January 2009: Cupping of the face is just one way to kiss someone, it doesnt mean he likes you more or less than what he does already. It is just a very romantic way of kissing someone... (read in full...)
Is he in love with me?
Q. When a guy looks you in the eyes for a long time and doesnt want sex until later and he says theres enough time for that does that mean hes in love with you? ...
A. 21 January 2009: Abseloutely not, what on earth gave you that idea?
"Being in love" is a feeling that is built up between a couple over a long period of time, it doesnt magically happen when you look at someone.
And why are you both talking about sex if you... (read in full...)
Should you shave your arms?
Q. Should you shave your arms? It's just I have some quite dark hair on my arms, and I wondered if it's normal to shave your arms. It's not like super-dark, so I don't have to shave. I just wanted to know....
A. 21 January 2009: Im was a beauty therapist and i had so many clients if it was a good idea to shave/wax their arm hairs and i gave them the same answer im giving you...DONT DO IT!
Have you noticed when you shave your legs or underarms, the hairs always grow bac... (read in full...)
When guys flirt like this does it mean they're interested?
Q. just wonderin wat does it mean wen a guy coms wit his friends behind u kinda pokes u then keeps walkin but hangs next to ya and him and his friends r lookin at u then the next day they come to the same place and look at u wen u pass by? basically ...
A. 21 January 2009: Men can be very reserved but also very obvious when it comes to their feelings. Sadly men dont portray the obvious signs of attraction that women do but when they make constant physical contact and spend physical time with you on a daily basis then ... (read in full...)
Do his text kisses mean he wants to be more than friends?
Q. i am wondering what the kisses at the end mean when the text is coming from a guy, as i know that when girls text, they nearly always put kisses so dont mean as much, but when ur getting like 8, 9 or 10 kisses at the end of a text from a guy is he ...
A. 21 January 2009: I think you're reading too much into this, putting kisses at the end of a message does not imply any feelings, they are just x's. If a lad puts 1 x or a million x's it doesnt mean anything serious its just a common thing to do.
If you really w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never wants to see me, but always has time for his XBox!
Q. My boyfriend never wants to see me. We only ever see each other at school. I ask him if he wants to meet up on a weekend but he always says he's busy, and half of the time I know he's not busy because he'll be on his Xbox all day. I feel like he ...
A. 21 January 2009: Boys and their toys, it takes a great deal to seperate them. I bought my ex partner a PS3 as a surprise early birthday present, i knew what i was letting myself in for but i bought him it all the same and yes he spent a shit load of time on it but ... (read in full...)
Do I break away or give it a chance?
Q. Hi Im very new to this - infact this is the first ever time i have posted a question but im really interested in an outsiders point of view. Basically i met a guy 2 years ago now and i fell for him hook line and sinker, we were only togethe...
A. 21 January 2009: WOW this is some intense shit youve been through, no wonder your head is a mess darlin.
Funny situation with ex boyfriends, they all want to have their cake and eat it. He obviously wants you and his current girlfriend, possibly feeding you thes... (read in full...)
Your ex always comes back to you?
Q. "Your ex always comes back to you" Have you ever heard this saying before? Because i have and now im starting to believe it. I left my partner 3 weeks ago so obviously he is still around because we are best friends now but over the past couple ...
A. 21 January 2009: Thanx to you both, your responses are similar so ill go with what you both say. I was confronted by the ex who i went to see the other night who told me he couldnt see me again, then basically banged on about how he wants to stay in touch little and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me, he had sex with his ex girlfriend and I only just found out
Q. hey guys I'm really desperate for some advice so please here goes... My boyfriend cheated on me, he had sex with his ex girlfriend and I only just found out... i knew he was still in contact with her and we constantly fought about that but three m...
A. 21 January 2009: My ex boyfriend from 3 years ago suddenly came back on the scene a few months ago after my dad died and he openly admitted he cheated on me while we together. I was completely taken back because i had no idea at the time and the fact he broke it to ... (read in full...)
Need help in figuring out my life
Q. Still love ex and have tried moving on but not happy she wont tlk to me and i just want to see what others think i should do...
A. 21 January 2009: You are 1 of millions of people who find it increasingly hard to get over an ex..you're getting advice from one now, but i am in contact with all of my exs so my situation is not as hard as yours.
We always crave what we cant have, have you ever... (read in full...)
Why do guys seem to get over a girl so easily?
Q. Why do guys forget or get over a girl they really loved so easily? Is it possible or are they just acting cool to hide feelings because people may call them wimps etc. Is it possible and why do guys do that? Guys answers especially would be good ...
A. 21 January 2009: If anyone has experience of this its me. I left my partner who i loved with all my heart over 3 weeks ago. He in turn declared his undying love for me and told me he was going to propose to me this year. Low and behold 4 days after we break up he is ... (read in full...)
His paranoia is splitting us up slowly but surely.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and we have started living together. Everything is fine when we spend all day together, but even if we're apart for like 30 minutes he'll suspect me cheating on him. I have never cheated on him and ...
A. 21 January 2009: He has a serious problem. It is a well documented fact that smoking weed makes you extremely paranoid and those who smoke wont admit to that..its a common side affect of the stuff. You shouldnt have to justify yourself at all to him, ok so it may ... (read in full...)
Difference between gut feeling & being paranoid
Q. Hi, After a partner has cheated how to you differenciate between "am I just been paranoid" or is this "my gut feeling". My b/f cheated last year. We're trying to work things out and it seems to be fine. We live apart which dosent help me at all e...
A. 21 January 2009: When you are in a relationship and your other half cheats on you, you are instantly thrown into a viscious cycle of mistrust and paranoia..this is completely natural because what you have known to be a strong relationship has suddenly been ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her but she's not ready for a relationship now. What do I do?
Q. i have recently met a girl n we have been talkin for about 6wks now n we get on like a house on fire and have met up a few times aswel. we both enjoy each others company cos we have so much in common n feel we can tell each other everything. the ...
A. 21 January 2009: Weve all been in this situation, me included. We find someone we get on with so well then out of nowhere the ex comes back and starts playing mind games and driving a wedge between you both. Luckily for you there is a solution.
You fear loosing ... (read in full...)
If I was to go get the morning after pill would Social Services be able to find out I'd taken it?
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend last night and the condom split. I'm on no other form of contraceptive like the pill or anything, so I need to go and get the morning after pill. Thing is I'm having some problems and home at the moment and social ...
A. 21 January 2009: Dont worry, if you are planning on getting the M.A.P over the counter at a chemist then there is no way to keep a record of it as it is like any other purchase but if you go to the doctors for one then voice your concerns. You dont have anything to ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's making all this up to make me jealous?
Q. Hi everyone, My ex bf is really worrying me, we split 5 months ago, and had been sleeping together since, we split. He met this girl over a dating website, she lives in Ireland and are in a relationship but he's going around sleeping with loads of...
A. 21 January 2009: Tricky situation but easily solved. Firstly this bloke is your ex, why should you have any interest in what he does or how he decides to spend his life? If he is indeed sleeping around then he is putting himself at risk, this is not something that ... (read in full...)
No longer b/f & g/f just friends but I still love her
Q. I've been with this girl for 15 months. When we first met it was perfect, I have so many good memories. Last summer she worked a ways away so we could only see each other a bit every couple of weeks. We got past it, but we didn't really see more ...
A. 20 January 2009: Thats a really good start and im happy to hear you were friendly with her. Im a lass so i know how it feels when im with my ex and he acts as if we were never together it does feel extremely weird and can be very hard to deal with but eventually it ... (read in full...)
No longer b/f & g/f just friends but I still love her
Q. I've been with this girl for 15 months. When we first met it was perfect, I have so many good memories. Last summer she worked a ways away so we could only see each other a bit every couple of weeks. We got past it, but we didn't really see more ...
A. 20 January 2009: I am in a similar situation and i can help you. I left my ex 3 weeks ago and we were deeply in love with each other but there are forces at work that can push a couple too far thus resulting in one of them breaking down..in my case it was me. But ... (read in full...)
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