I'm always anxious... and I miss my ex!
Q. I am always anxious and i miss you ex. I am 21 and I've been in a serious relationship since i was 16. We were amazing together. Of course we had our ups and downs but mostly things were great, until last year. Things went all downhill and we fough...
A. 2 October 2011: There is nothing you can do to make the pain of the anxiety go away - all you can do is take control over it. Everytime that wave of panic comes over you get up and do something. Make a drink, or do something physical The pain of losing someone is ... (read in full...)
Why do people expect their significant others to stop seeing the mother/father of their child even though they are together?
Q. Hi, I have seen alot of questions on this site an also on TV and once with my aunt. Why do people expect their bf/gf/husband/wife/fiance to stop seeing the mother/father of their child because they're together? For example, lets say a girl and a bo...
A. 27 September 2011: There are many and varied reasons for this but I will speak of my own experience. My husband has three children by three different women. He sees all the children, some more than others but he sees them all. Sometimes I feel he sees too much of the ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him because he's still staying with his ex!
Q. someone try and convince me that i have done the right thing. i just left a relationship, because my x boyfriend is still staying with the mother of his daughter. he claims he doesn't love her, and that she has no where to go. plus she is looki...
A. 26 September 2011: Yes you did the right thing. These things are never what either party profess them to be and you do not want to be sitting around wondering what is going on all the time. When he leaves the ex and recontacts you then you can consider taking him back ... (read in full...)
How to deal with arrogant boosyboots women?
Q. In dealing with a man there's an obvious way of responding - the one who gets uptight and irrational loses the dispute. And ultimately, there's the implication that if you don't treat them fairly you can get hit. Lately, together with my female f...
A. 23 July 2011: Women very often behave like that when they are a) not getting their own way or b) not getting enough attention. You will also find the more attractive the woman in the main they will be the most arrogant and controlling as they know they can easiy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's buddies now give me the cold shoulder since I made him stop hanging around with his ex!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Things were going very smoothly until two months ago. I told him how uncomfortable I was with his friendship with his ex from college(who happens to be the center of his social universe). This woman was ...
A. 25 April 2011: I am sorry that you are going through this. My husband also will not stop contact with his ex's who are now all apparently friends and i don't like it either. I must commend you for still wanting to go out with your bf and his friends because if I ... (read in full...)
My family has moved many times. Is it normal to not have many lifelong friends when this happens?
Q. Ever since i was a young lass my family has moved around a lot. Therefore I don't have any lifelong friendships with anyone outside my family. I'm 24 now and have been settled in the same city for the last 7 years. I made what I thought were goin...
A. 25 April 2011: I have moved 14 times and been to 17 different schools. At school and as an adult I have found it impossible to bond with any friends because I always felt or knew i was going to move again or there was little point because things would change. I ... (read in full...)
Men: What were the first signs that you were losing interest in a woman?
Q. To Men Only: If you have ever been with a woman you loved, lost interest in her what were the first signs of your disinterest?.,,,Thank you....
A. 24 April 2011: I am a woman but thought i would post as I asked my husband this question years ago and he told me that it is exactly as Danielpew says - it is not a sudden event or one thing that changes things it is a build up of events and things that the person ... (read in full...)
After having led me on with the promise of a life together, he suddenly decides to bail out. Should I tell his wife about the whole sham?
Q. Where to start. I fell in love with a married man. He told me that he was on his way out of his marriage. He gave me horror stories about his wife. 8, 9, 10 months go by and he and I are more in love than I've ever been with anyone and I'm not ...
A. 13 February 2011: I understand you are furious, angry and upset and partly out for revenge. The truth of the matter is that most men when it comes down to it will not leave their wives as when they work out that it is going to cost them a lot financially and that ... (read in full...)
She is so uncomfortable talking about our relationship, how do I get this to move forward?
Q. I'm not quite sure which category this should go into, since it's a long story that crosses a few. So I met this girl online. This was about two years ago and we met on a penpal website, not a dating website. She's a Korean who lives in South K...
A. 28 January 2011: I think your girlfriend is just shy and inexperienced which is why she blows hot and cold. One minute she is keen to move forward the next she is not sure what she is doing or what she wants. This does sound like someone who has had very limited ... (read in full...)
Why was I just cut out of her facebook account for no reason at all?
Q. I know some people think friend request stuff on facebook is silly but I had one incident which has surprised me and hurt me. A few years back I worked with a lady who I socilised with, looked after her daughters on occasions, was caring when her...
A. 22 January 2011: Sometimes people just don't want to be reminded about their past. She could feel that you know too much about her and might in some way damage what she has now - who knows? Don't spend anymore time worrying about this. You asked her and she ... (read in full...)
Was I insensitive towards my friend? Or did I do the right thing?
Q. My friend is going through a hard break up and was really sad in front of me. They started to cry and started to talk about there relationship. At first I told them "its okay you can cry" and they felt bad for crying in front of me. So I told them, ...
A. 21 January 2011: The fact that you have bothered to post that you are worried about this shows what a nice person you are and a good friend. You did just the right thing. Telling people to stop crying is good because it often makes them sit up and pull themselves ... (read in full...)
How can I bring myself to trust him after everything he's done?
Q. Hi, ive been with my boyfriend nearly 2years now and i don't trust him at all, please read all of this, i need advise on alot of things. Lets start from the beginning, he was engaged to a girl who cheated on him more than once and 6months after they ...
A. 16 January 2011: Fantastic answer from Abella really clear and totally spot on! I can't add much other than when a person starts lying or choosing not to tell you something to cover up their behaviour then it is the road to emotional ruin. He is NOT trustworthy. The ... (read in full...)
I want to leave but partner says he will make my life hell if I do. Help!
Q. Hi, I have been with my partner for 5 years and have 2 children by him and 2 from a previous relationship,he doesn't get on with my son at all from my previous relationship,my son spends a lot of time with his grandad but when his home its nothin ...
A. 16 January 2011: As CaringGuy so wisely says he can't and won't do anything he is just trying to scare you. All that is standing in your way is fear of the unknown and really there is nothing to be scared about. Your partner is making your life miserable and making ... (read in full...)
I gave my friend the brush off. Did I do the right thing?
Q. im just needing advice. im proud of myself for doing something i thought id never but im needing reassurance because my confidence is very low. i have a friend who ive bent over backwards to help. my friends think hes a user and a loser. initiall...
A. 15 January 2011: Oh yes the girl done good! Funnily enough although I am sure this wasn't your intention your disinterest will make him as keen as mustard. He will now be thinking, where are you, what have you been up to. who have you been with etce etc and it will ... (read in full...)
I don't care for this man but I want to be there for my mom.
Q. Hey everyone, Well the problem I need help here with is that my step dad is going in to hospital on Monday to have his leg amputated and the thing is I'm just not sympathetic at all! I wouldn't wish it on anybody but he was told numerous amount ...
A. 6 January 2011: I wouldn't want to be with him either nor would I care but my conscience of right and wrong would get the better of me. Even if you feel nothing I think you should be there for your Mum if only for a week, just to give her some support when he comes ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's behaviour is outrageous
Q. This is the third time me and my girlfriend have been together. Each time the relationship started i approached her and we talked things out and everything always starts off great. The first time I broke up with her she didn't like my friends ...
A. 26 June 2010: I would imagine your girlfriend is in her early 20's and is an attention seeker because she feels insecure in her own right. She hasn't worked out who she is yet. Embarrassing for me but I can clearly see similar elements in the way I behaved when I ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be suspicious of her behaviour?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for over three years now but i have recently been having doubts. My girlfriend has always been quite friendly with other guys (being in a male dominated profession) and she is also quite flirty (friendl...
A. 25 June 2010: I am sorry to say that I would be suspicious and at some stage I think she is going to cheat. She appears to be keeping her optioms open with the pleasure of having a steady b/f to fall back on. I don't think she is as committed as you are. I think ... (read in full...)
I just want my life back when I felt totally loved
Q. I have been having alot of issues with him lying. He has finally come clean about alot of things.I already knew most of them so I was not surprised.We have been together for 6 years,so we decided starting over would be a good thing. I thought things ...
A. 21 June 2010: Big Ron's advice is spot on. Tell everyone what is going on and make people around you aware because manipulators hate not having control or being viewed in a bad light. They will always turn the situation to make themselves look good or try to ... (read in full...)
Demanded my boyfriend gets a paternity test on a potential child..am I in the wrong?
Q. Am I wrong for tell my boyfriend that we won't live together or take any big steps in our relationship until he gets a dna test on a child he doesn't know is his or not? We've been together for almost a year....
A. 11 June 2010: No you are not wrong at all. Your whole future depends on this so you have every right to ask.... (read in full...)
He is back on friendly terms with his ex again, is he just using me?
Q. hi in have been seeing this man for about two months we were friends before but he was with someone someone who he had been with for four years he was really down saying he was only together as the she has a five year old son and he had brought him ...
A. 31 May 2010: the male reader anonymus gave very good advice. Never let your inner peace/ happiness be dependent upon one person.
If he has gone back to her then don't take him back as it is likely that he will be deceitful and lie about his actions which wi... (read in full...)
Clingy or having healthy emotional needs?
Q. How do you determine if a girlfriend is being "clingly" or is just having healthy emotional needs? Where do you draw the line?...
A. 8 May 2010: Women are often classed as clingy or needy/ desperate because at some stage in their life they have been normally lied to/ cheated on. This makes them feel insecure and they become clingy for fear of it happening again. I am classed as a needy/ ... (read in full...)
Should I approach an eavesdropper to clarify the context of what she may have overheard?
Q. I feel guilty because I was at this casual party/picnic at church last night and I was talking to my new friend about how I felt uneasy last year when I had no money and this specific group at church that collects items for the poor kept asking for ...
A. 3 April 2010: I would just ignore the situation unless the person asks you outright what you said - and they will if they are really keen to know or just plain nosy. Otherwise I wouldn't bring the subject up or justify myself in any way.
I myself am comp... (read in full...)
Does this text mean he is brushing me off?
Q. Hi, So I get this txt from a potential love interest to say....Could'nt get your call, in a meeting, thanks for your email, all the best for Easter, Will talk next week, Take Care, -----. What does take care mean? This is the first I have ever had. ...
A. 2 April 2010: Mmm.. I think it is a kind of playing it cool text but definitely not a brush off. After all he bothered to text and men won't text or respond to a text at all unless they are interested. Take care is being friendly and professional sort of ... (read in full...)
Men & affairs--what's it really all about?
Q. Do men who have affairs really enjoy having another woman or does it all become a bit of a chore keeping everything secret? Plus do these men just latch on to anyone who'll have them - or is there always an attraction there?...
A. 2 April 2010: From experience I would say that men have affairs because they just want sex. Sometimes they don't even feel particular attraction to the woman - it is all about getting sex. Often they will use the phrase of feeling unwanted or unloved to assuage ... (read in full...)
Independence after the breakup
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 11 months and it hurts. The breakup was coming for a while, but I put it out of my head because I thought maybe feelings would change and we would want to continue after I left university and he stayed o...
A. 28 March 2010: You did absolutely nothing wrong, you just grew apart and one day most definitely you will be friends again. When I was at uni I was in love with a boy who ended it because he wanted more freedom and he didn't like having to check in with me all the ... (read in full...)
How can I mention all of this to her without her splitting up with me and being upset...?
Q. I have been with another female for nearly a year. I am 21 and she is 30. She has 3 kids and we have recently got a house together. She works on Wednesday and Thursday evenings and Saturdays 6am-6pm and Sundays 6am-4pm. I am the one that does mos...
A. 28 March 2010: If you are dealing with a highly defensive person any comment can trigger them off and make them take things too personally. In this kind of situation you need to wait until the person is calm, not tired and not under any stress before you raise the ... (read in full...)
Do you agree I've just been dumped?
Q. I am a divorced woman that has been dating a divorced man for the last 3 months. We live a couple of hours drive apart, but have been spending our weekends together and text ot call each other every day. He seemed to like me very much all along, but ...
A. 27 March 2010: I am the same age as you and agree it is strange behaviour for one in our age bracket. You have been very wise not to respond and bombard him with texts - really well done on that one. I don't think you have been dumped I think he has just gone ... (read in full...)
All my friends knew my man was cheating and none of them said anything. I feel so stupid and alone!
Q. Ive been with my boy friend for almost four years its been a terrible four years but I still truely care about the first year of our relationship we broke up for the summer he went on a masive partying bindge with his ex he ended up goin to the city ...
A. 21 March 2010: Oh Honey I am really sorry for what you are going through. Please don't feel betrayed, your friends didn't tell you because they didn't want to upset you. No one was laughing at you behind your back, they just didn't know what to do. some people ... (read in full...)
Another woman is pursuing my boyfriend and it's making me feel insecure.
Q. a 'friend' of mine i met through my boyfriend sent my boyfriend love letters and clearly has professed her love for him. Despite the fact he's told her its not going to happen, he is still contacting her a fair bit, and she is contacting him, and it ...
A. 21 March 2010: I feel as if i have written your post as i am experiencing the exact same thing and my husband has exactly the same answers as your boyfriend. I would be very wary here as the woman's motives are clearly suspect. The situation for me has upset me so ... (read in full...)
Why did he save a girl's mobile number under a guy's name?
Q. I found today my bf had a contact on his mobile phonebook called Brian, and when i called few times a girl answered the phone. I didnt said anything to my bf but i know with the way i spoke to him after i found out he knows im worried about ...
A. 20 March 2010: My husband used to keep all the women he was having affairs with under male names but kept the same initial so Lisa was Leslie etc etc. I am unsure whether he thought I was thick or not but that one is the oldest trick in the book.
I don't wa... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go through a general anesthetic and the operation to remove a cyst!!! Help!
Q. Hi. I have to have a dermoind ovarian cyst out by surgery. it is 4cms by 4cms. It will need to be taken out either by keyhole or open surgery depending on if they can get to it by keyhole surgery. I am terrified of genral anesthic, and teriified of ...
A. 19 March 2010: I have had a few operations under general anaesthetic and really there is nothing at all to worry about. The consultant will go through everything with you and then the anaesthetist will come and talk through the procedure and then the nurse will ... (read in full...)
He refuses to admit he is still talking to this other woman, should I just leave?
Q. Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him ...
A. 18 March 2010: You really did the right thing and will be able to be in peace now as these things never go away they just fester in the background. Keep strong.... (read in full...)
He refuses to admit he is still talking to this other woman, should I just leave?
Q. Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him ...
A. 16 March 2010: Yes leave. This man shows you absolutely no respect and is carrying on chatting with this woman behind your back. It is not acceptable and not right. Something similar is happening with me at the moment and I do not have words to say how much I hate ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to get advice about my marriage from a man I am attracted to?
Q. My husband and I haven't been seeing eye to eye on things recently,which causes us to fuss heatedly. I recently met a man who I can talk to and vent with. We are attracted to each other. Is it wrong to Get his advice?...
A. 10 March 2010: I actually think it is very wrong. My husband talks to another woman about our relationship who he is quite fond of, but pretends otherwise, and it really hurts me. I think that men should talk to their male friends if they want to talk about things ... (read in full...)
I just want my stuff back, why wont he answer?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for about a month but we have only hungout 3 times because he says he always has his daughter. I have never hungout with him on a weekend its always been on a Monday or Tuesday. We always just get take out n watch a movie ...
A. 7 March 2010: I don't know what is happening here but I do know that he is not treating you at all well. If he went on business to Tahoe it would have been common courtesy to text you as the bare minimum. Right now I would leave him alone and accept that you are ... (read in full...)
An older girl just wont back off from my boyfriend
Q. im an 8th grade girl who is currently dating an11th grade guy in my school. Ive known him since 2008.we stared dating in the begining of february and hes relationships usually last even though hes a playa. He flirts alot with girls older than me and ...
A. 7 March 2010: When I was about your age I was going out with a lovely boy called Michael. He srarted paying a lot of attention to an older girl who was in the same year and classes as him and I lost him to her. She was very sweet and I was very possessive and I ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance for us to be together again
Q. My relationship of 6 years ended in September. We have a two year old son and run a business together. We get on very well and are the best of friend but he said he doesn't love me the way he feels he should. He was having strong feelings for ...
A. 6 March 2010: I am really not sure what to say to you here. You are clearly a bright and articulate woman and there is no way however much you love him that you should be putting up with this.
The guy is using you as a fallback and is a serial cheater. He seem... (read in full...)
Girlfriend innapropriate on FB
Q. So tonight my girlfriend of 2 1/2 months, who I generally have a good time with did something that made me really jealous tonight. So we're talking on the phone tonight and she was reading her facebook while doing so. Then she noticed that her ...
A. 6 March 2010: Harmless flirting, joking or not I wouldn't like it either. I think you should calmly point out to her that if she is in a relationship with you that harmless though it may be that you don't like it and find it upsetting and that you would ... (read in full...)
How do you initiate "the talk" without freaking him out
Q. How do you have a conversation "about us" with a man without freaking him out? I've read so many self help books that emphasise that this is exactly the sort of thing that will send a man running but my style is usually very direct - people either ...
A. 6 March 2010: My advice here would be if you want him don't have this kind of conversation. However it is phrased men hate it and shy away from it at all costs. I suggest you continue doing fun things and having good dates, building up credit so to speak and make ... (read in full...)
I live with my boyfriend and find having his child once a week is hard
Q. i have been seeing my boy friend for over a year i have now moved in to his house, he is in the army so he is away in the week and i am on my own i am happy and i did know that when i moved in that it would be like this,my boy friend has a little ...
A. 6 March 2010: Forgive me if I am wrong here as I don't know you but are you feeling resentful of his existing child because you don't have one of your own with him? In my opinion it is unfair and unrealistic to expect you to look after or spend time with his ... (read in full...)
We're trying to work it out, but his Facebook status isn't helping
Q. My husband and I were seperated....We are trying to work things out and have been back together for about 2 months. His facebook status is its complicated.Im upset because we are trying to work things out so he should change it am I right???? Its ...
A. 6 March 2010: I wouldn't like this either and would view it as loss of face if anyone else was seeing it. I understand where you are coming from but you can't force people to say things that you want them to. I would make a decision today and that is that you are ... (read in full...)
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