What can I do? I'm devastated after an unanticipated breakup
Q. Hi I am new here. I was with my ex for two years I thought we were so happy he was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes we had arguments and it got really tough then he lost his job and I was paying for everything we had a flat in the end we ...
A. 29 October 2012: Youwish is spot on here. He has done you a huge favour. He was a freeloader and took advanatge of you. Granted he did the right thing by leaving so he wasn't poncing off you anymore but he was flaky and not strong enough for you. You need a strong ... (read in full...)
Did I ruin things before they could even begin?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. Please help me. I have totally muucked things up with a guy who I really like and who I think was perfect for more. I feel sick at what I have done, or more importantly how stupid I have acted. I am 31 and can't beleive...
A. 29 October 2012: I think if you leave him alone for a while and do not text or make contact in any way then he will contact you. You need to give him time to remember how much he liked you and enjoyed being with you not so that he remembers you were the crazy lady ... (read in full...)
I texed him when I was drunk and now I'm really embarrassed. Help!
Q. Damn!! I feel like a complete idiot. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks everything seemed great etc. And then last week he calls it off saying it's not me it's him and he needs to do things, like work gym. So I was like what the heck? Bu...
A. 28 October 2012: Gosh this will get better I promise you. My friend at work who is 20 did the same thing last weekend but she was even worse she texted him drunk then turned up at his house. He wouldn't let her in and called her a taxi. She spent nearly all last ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to get on so well with a mother in law?
Q. I am getting married in six months to my boyfriend of 4 years. I have known my fiancé since we were toddlers, and know his parents for almost as long. His parents like me a lot, and mine like him. I get on really we with my (soon to be) mother i...
A. 28 October 2012: I don't think it is the most usual as there is normally a bit of jealousy and squabbling but if you are both happy and like each other then good for you. It will ensure a harmonious marriage and life with your husband going forward. I have been ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about socializing before the booze kicks in. I need a pep talk!
Q. Hi. I’ve been invited out tonight by a group of people I went on a field trip with earlier this year. I’d like to go and feel that I should, but I’m missing the confidence to go out and do it. I know everyone but I’m not particularly good friends ...
A. 9 October 2012: I think one small shot type drink before you go out would help. I am overly anxious and find socialising a nightmare and I know this helps me force myself through the door. Once this one wears off have another but no more after that. It will give ... (read in full...)
Should I have just said nothing at all? Her erratic behaviour on the vacation was too much for me
Q. should i just not say anything at all I went on a vacation with one of my husbands former co worker. Its not like she was my friend or anything like that. I just knew her and because we saw each other very seldom, she seemed ok for me to travel...
A. 4 October 2012: You have the patience of a saint. I would have just dumped her and the car and got a variety of trains or whatever back to where I wanted to be. The screaming and jarring of my body would have been too much for me and I would be doing time by now. ... (read in full...)
Husband didn't introduce me to anyone at a party and I was left feeling very uncomfortable
Q. I feel very sad and disappointed at the moment because my husband and I went to a party where I knew almost anyone and he didn't introduce me to anyone. He says he doesn't like all these mannerly introductions, but I think that's common sense. I...
A. 30 September 2012: I would have absolutely hated it and probably left the party. Iam very inseure and hate large groups at the best of times and would have been extremely annoyed not to have been introduced to people and left alone. If you go to a party I believe you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 months creeps me out!
Q. My boyfriend and I have only been going out for about two months. Lately, though, it seems as if every little thing he does annoys me or creeps me out. He's constantly making fun of me and he brings the gift I gave him (a stuffed monkey) weeks ago ...
A. 22 September 2012: I like what Xearo says especially about the monkey. Your bf clearly likes the gift a lot and it is funny that he says not to look at it - he sounds like he is a strong character and knows what he is at rather than being embarrassed or fearful of ... (read in full...)
Is an Ex and Ex? And should it stay that way? I think my Bf may be in contact with this ex again.
Q. I suspect that my boyfriend might have added his ex-girlfriend back into his phone, I am not entirely sure. I just have a feeling he might have. Should I just ask him if I can look at it? I don't know if it seems odd. I really hate his ex and h...
A. 22 September 2012: This is a tricky one. If he has nothing to hide then he should willingly let you look at his phone but his likely answer is that you don't trust him and will use that as an excuse not to show you. I would not like an ex trying to muscle in - been ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for love without a better job?
Q. Despite being a decent and honest man I've been single for my entire life. I've really struggled in life with depression and a lack of confidence and direction and knowing what I want out of life. I've only ever had menial jobs, or have been out of ...
A. 8 September 2012: Ciar has nailed the answer 100%. Women want someone that they can turn to in times of stress or trouble and they do not want to have to shoulder the burden alone. Even being able to offer support and reliability is a benefit as is just having ... (read in full...)
Husband won't work and we are about to lose our house!
Q. I am needing some advice and am not sure what to do about my marriage. My husband refuses to look for work or get a job. First off, he is not depressed at all. He has seen the doctor for an evaluation and he is not depressed. He was lai...
A. 2 September 2012: Aunty Bim Bim has made a very valid point regarding ultimatums. As she says don't issue one unless you truly feel you can carry it out. I am in the same age bracket as you and have made countless 'ultimatums' and never followed them through, they ... (read in full...)
What could be his reasons for not wanting to go?
Q. I posted recently about my current situation, I have decided to leave my boyfriend and take our daughter back to California with me. Both of us to get a fresh start. I am wondering what is his reason for wanting to stay where he is at? I told him ...
A. 25 August 2012: In a nutshell he doesn't want to go because he is happy where he is. His job is here and friends and family and although you are his partner and you have a daughter he doesn't want to uproot himself from what he knows. I can understand your ... (read in full...)
How can I block my ex? She keeps texting me!
Q. plz anyone have advice 4 me i would be greatful. my ex girlfriend keeps texting me, some nice texts and some nasty. i dont reply to any of them at all and delete them. when will she give up we split a month ago. she sends about 3 or 4 a day and some ...
A. 25 August 2012: I tried my network which was 02 to get them to block my husband's ex girlfriend as she would not stop texting me. They would not bar or block the call unless they got authorisation from the police and all they could do was offer me a new number free ... (read in full...)
After my car accident I am suffering from anxiety but my husband is pulling away. Am I overreacting?
Q. I recently was in an auto accident. Ended up being my fault because my foot was wet and slipped off the brake. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Also, a month ago my cousin was killed in an auto accident just outside of town. I am struggling with ...
A. 20 August 2012: I can relate to what you are saying and your need for comfort and re-assurance. You realised how fragile we all are and that it is really quite easy to damage yourself or kill another with a very little error or mistake. Something which was very ... (read in full...)
Why would he do all of this to me yet still continue with the relationship? Am I the one to blame?
Q. i meet my partner 6 yrs ago, he was my friends brother, she told me he liked me and did not seem to have a problem with dating him, that was until i did date him. Everyone seem to all of a sudden be on my back, why i dont know, first of my partner ...
A. 3 July 2012: I have been with men who twist things or say things which make you look like the mental party and trick you into thinking you are going mad. These gentlemen normally turn out to be exceptionally controlling and your husband sounds the same. He has ... (read in full...)
After 2 years of dating my b/f decides to move closer to his kids/ex wife. I'm devastated
Q. I was single and not dating for 3 years after the breakup of a 6 year relationship and I had this weird sense that I would never be with anyone again. So I tried to put myself out there a bit more with activities and so on and I didn't even meet ...
A. 1 July 2012: I too am a great believer in never go out with a divorced man with school age kids. The emotional stress and baggage is just too great unless you are an earth mother type.
There is not much you can do here apart from learn that this type of rela... (read in full...)
Should I worry about what my coworker(s) hint to me about being slow?
Q. I've been a cashier at a very popular beverage place for about a month now. We're extremely busy and the line goes out the door. One of my coworkers whom I get along great with genuinely let me know that some coworkers have been complaining that I'm ...
A. 24 June 2012: It just takes time to settle in. if you make good friends with your co workers they won't care even if you are a little slow. All you can do is your best and if you are working to your best capacity then there is nothing more you can do. I would ... (read in full...)
Why out of the blue did he text me saying we needed a break? I need closure!
Q. Hello everyone, I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now. Like any other relationships we've had our ups and downs but always work stuff out in a matter of time. We love eachother a lot, my family loves him and his family loves me, etc. ...
A. 17 June 2012: I have had something very similar happen to me once and was so devastated that I had to attend counselling over it. My therapist told me (because I kept saying that I wanted answers and closure) that the answer is that sometimes you must accept that ... (read in full...)
I feel so uncomfortable about this girl he is close to. Is breaking up with him the best option for me?
Q. Did I do the right think in breaking up? I'm sorry this is a long message, but just would like some clarity.... I have been from the very start, on-edge, wondering what he thinks/feels, hes not a very open person. but i chose to date him ...
A. 16 June 2012: I have thought about your post for a long time and can really give you no advice other than my experience. My husband has a lot of female friends that he texts and talks to on the phone which makes me feel very uncomfortable and insecure. Before we ... (read in full...)
Do I put up or shut up?
Q. Hi, guys. i will try keep this short but i really would like some advice. I have been living with my partner for 3 years been together for 4. He has 2 children from a previous marraige that spend a lot of time with us. We take them on holidays. Buy ...
A. 10 June 2012: I am in the same age group as you and can understand where you are coming from. The children appear to be terribly badly spoilt and lazy. It must be very hard for you to be in the house when the 3 of them are against you and you are constantly ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling pretty hurt right now ---
Q. My boyfriend said something worrying to me tonight and I'm not sure how to get it out of my head. My boyfriend has really mild aspergers and that usually means he's brutally bluntly honest no matter what. So when he says things that are mean, it's ...
A. 10 June 2012: Aspergers people due to the nature of their condition are very blunt and see everything in black and white not in shades of grey. You need to be as equally blunt back whether it is in your nature or not. I would tell him that what he has said to you ... (read in full...)
Would you date a guy that's 14 years old if you are 17 years old?
Q. Hey everyone... I just wanna ask this question. Would you date a guy that's 14 year old but he's almost 15 and you are 17 year old? And he's also in the 7th grade and you are in the 11th grade in school. Thanks, I'm just asking....
A. 8 June 2012: Gosh this was a long long time ago for me and the age gap seems huge at this age but nothing when you get into your twenties. I went out with a 14 year old when I was 17 and he was just great. My friends laughed to begin with and then got bored and ... (read in full...)
I can't stand my boyfriends family as all they do is lie and cause trouble.
Q. I cant stand my boyfriends family as all they do is lie and cause trouble. My boyfriend split with his ex wife a year ago but his family wont accept it. Until lately ive accepted that i will just never be a part of his family as he has kids to her a...
A. 7 June 2012: I think this may be time to cut your losses. He is considerably older than you, has an ex wife and kids and his family aren't nice to you. The odds are stacked against you. I have found through experience that men in particular do not like their ... (read in full...)
How can I get my difficult family to accept my girlfriend is "The One"?
Q. My girlfriend is a mother. She is 18 and we dated before. I myself am 19 and while most people think that being in love at an age so young is trivial, and more likely an infatuation. This isn't. It's hard to explain but i really do love this girl. ...
A. 7 June 2012: As someone who is probably about the same age as your mother I would not be pleased to think that my son was going out with a woman who was so young and had a child. I am sorry to say that I would hope he could do better and meet someone at ... (read in full...)
She says she feels snubbed by my family
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in what feels like a ridiculous situation and I'm just looking for some clarity, and confirmation that I am not the one who is completely crazy! Here goes... I'm in a relationship with a girl and we've been together 8 1/2 m...
A. 7 June 2012: I can understand why your girlfriend is upset. You mentioned 'family night' and then invited your sister's boyfriend so quite rightly your girlfriend is upset that as another outsider was invited why wasn't she. Your g/f won't care at all about the ... (read in full...)
He has ignored me for five days, what do I do if he comes back?
Q. Help please . After a row my man has ignored me for five days so i've assumed we're done. He hasnt done this for a while but in past has come back . I'm not texting him any more but i dont get it as even after the row he said didn want to end but ...
A. 7 June 2012: When he comes back which he is likely to just be calm and pleasant and do not refer to the row in any way. Talk to him in a happy non-accusatory voice. I am assuming you want him back so be friendly if he does call but don't ask him any questions ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling jealous and insecure about this girl at work and I don't know what to do about it!
Q. II have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. We love eachother but I have always been jealous and insecure of other girl he becomes close with. He's been working at this place for almost a year and there's a girl that works with him ...
A. 6 June 2012: I would not like this either but as the anonymous poster says the best thing to do to piss her off would be to meet her then if she has any intentions towards your boyfriend and she sees you are there and aren't threatened by her she will absolutely ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is mentally unstable and I can't leave relationship
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for one and a half years. I no longer want to be in the relationship as it feels destructive and neither of us are happy, however whenever I try to end it she guilts me back into it by describing how ...
A. 6 June 2012: Most people who threaten this attention seeking stuff end up doing nothing. They take it so far just to get the attention they need and then when they get it they miraculously manage to stop trying to kill themselves, put the razor blade down, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is paying for all of his ex's bills and I don't think its right
Q. Hello everyone! I need some advice on a situation. I’ve been dating this guy for 1 month but I’ve known him for 5 months. I always said I would never date a guy with kids and when I asked him in the beginning if he has kids, he said he’s doing a DNA ...
A. 5 June 2012: Personally I would get out of the relationship now. He is going to be paying for this child for the rest of his life and there is going to be endless contact between him and the mother and if it is not something you can cope with now I would move on ... (read in full...)
How can I build a motherdaughter relationship with my stepmother?
Q. Well i'm 13, and when i was 8 my mom and dad split because my mom fell in love with a black guy. At the time i didn't understand i was only told that my mom and dad didn't love each other anymore. Me and my dad were so close that i wanted to l...
A. 27 January 2012: I think this is one of the nicest posts I have ever read and you are clearly very mature to write such a thing. Just leave the computer on and let her see what you have written and she'll be so pleased it will all fall into place. You'll soon be out ... (read in full...)
Why are more guys choosing to father children in their 60s?
Q. This seems to be a growing trend especially with celebrities. E.g Alexander Skarsgard's dad having a second child, with his second wife. He is in his 60s. Even though he has adult children already. Why do people do this? Don't they want to enjoy ...
A. 21 January 2012: AnutyBimbim and the anonymouse female are right. The older men normally have money and the first wife with the grown up kids will be well divorced by now so they pick a new pretty young wife to appeal to their ego and as said the young wife will ... (read in full...)
Has my break up given me an eating disorder?
Q. I'm 32 and have 2 children. I split up with my partner on the 9th December. Was quite a bad break up and since then I just don't have any appetite what so ever.....I just push food around my plate and barely eat anything. Typical daily example is a ...
A. 31 December 2011: I am sorry to hear that this is happening to you and especially at this time of year. No, you do not have an eating disorder, instead you are depressed and upset. This also happened to me and I lost 2 stone in 3 months as all I was living off was ... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 31 December 2011: No please don't text. Let him do the running. It might be a nice thing to do but it may look to him like you are desperate and needy and all girls know men don't like desperate and needy! Wait for him to get in touch with you because if he still ... (read in full...)
How could he do this to me.....please help.
Q. Me an my partner split up a about 3 weeks ago we were in a serious relationship, but had a big argument and he decided we needed a break. Said he still loved me but just needed time to think. I let him think an thought he would get in touch....... ...
A. 31 December 2011: I agree whole heartedly with worldlyWise. This argument was engineered so he could have an excuse to leave you and my guess would be that he has also been seeing her whilst he has been with you. I too can appreciate how angry and upset you are as I ... (read in full...)
He met this girl and became friends, can I still trust my boyfriend?
Q. I desperately need your help!! I've been with this guy (lets call him Joey) for a year now; on and off again. We've had a lot of problems because of girls and guys that are trying to break us up. A few girls are after him because he's an athlete ...
A. 30 December 2011: I do actually trust Joey at the moment but I don't trust her motives at all. The fact that she has been asked not to text or talk to him and she stops for a while and then starts again and pretends to you that Joey has made the first move is not ... (read in full...)
He has cut me out of his life but he was the liar!
Q. im sure theres something wrong with me because this keeps playing on my mind and i cant shake it off. i was very good friends with a guy until i discovered he had been lying to me since day 1 -found out through various means and i was very hurt as i ...
A. 9 December 2011: I think this guy sounds like a Sociopath and you were lucky to get out of the situation so easily. Clearly you had romantic feelings for him and he knew this and abused your good nature and trust. Good riddance - don't try and make it up with him or ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lies to me about contact with his ex
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together over a year. He claims that his ex-lover is just a friend. Although he has only just admitted that they used to sleep together. Even though he had told me that they had never been intimate like that, i had ...
A. 27 November 2011: You did absolutely the right thing. They were more than just friends and he shared information with her before sharing it with you.He has behaved despicably and although you will be able to forgive him you you will not be able to trust him. The only ... (read in full...)
My ex wants back a gift he gave me when we were together. Should I give it back/
Q. Hello everyone, just a quick question. My friends and I are split on the subject, so need a few opinions off you fabulous lot. My ex boyfriend text me saying he hated me. No problem for me. I didn't fly off the handle, may have ranted a bit to...
A. 19 November 2011: This answer is only a legal technicality answer and doesn't realate to your feelings but it may help you. When I divorced from my husband for his birthday I had bought him a £25k watch. Clearly I wanted it back. Not a hope . when I went through the ... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I ask him to stop communication with his ex?
Q. In short, there's this girl that my man was in love with before him and I became an item. He's stayed friends with her after claiming to be over her. Their close contact bothered me, and I wrote about it on here even, to ask if this should be ...
A. 21 October 2011: I have constantly over the years asked my husband to cease contact with his female friends and exes because I don't trust them and it makes me feel very insecure. My husband does not like it and says that he can talk to anyone he wants as he is a ... (read in full...)
Let me give you the tools to beat 'Retro jealousy' I now possess them!
Q. I write with excitement and hope that my experiences might help others that have had similar problems. You may remember a post I made back on the 15th Oct 2010 titled: Girlfriend was a prostitute and slept with over 350 men before I paid for h...
A. 8 October 2011: Indeed - please let us know how you overcame this.... (read in full...)
I'm always anxious... and I miss my ex!
Q. I am always anxious and i miss you ex. I am 21 and I've been in a serious relationship since i was 16. We were amazing together. Of course we had our ups and downs but mostly things were great, until last year. Things went all downhill and we fough...
A. 2 October 2011: There is nothing you can do to make the pain of the anxiety go away - all you can do is take control over it. Everytime that wave of panic comes over you get up and do something. Make a drink, or do something physical The pain of losing someone is ... (read in full...)
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