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*amuraiRick agony aunt

*amuraiRick

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*amuraiRick's profile:

I am the Rocky Balboa on this website because I am dead brutal and pull no punches sometimes. I know its costs me popularity points, but better that I get my point out and be honest than try to be fake just to have people like me.

But don’t get me wrong…I am a nice guy. If you are good people, I got nothing but love and respect for ya. But when I get brutal it’s with people that come on here wanting sympathy and advice when they are totally wrong. I’m not a doctor, and you aren’t paying for me to be on your side, so if I hit you hard, maybe it’s because you need to do some thinking. I’m a man and this is how my dad taught me to be a man.

So ladies, if you see me giving out advice to other guys who basically deserve a punch in the face, just cover your ears stand back and let me at ‘em!!

But anyway…

I came here looking for a little fun and advice on a personal matter, but it turns out I’m seeing a lot of people out there with some serious and even ridiculous problems, things I am eminently qualified to answer and respond to with the experience I have. I’ve done a lot of dating in my time, been in all sorts of relationships; married too. Right now I’m finally divorced, and I’m in my right mind and doing things the right way. I have a lot good going in my life and I thank God every day I’m still alive kicking and living the best life I possibly can.

My motto is you have to live the life you love, and love the life you live. I always check with myself making sure I live by that motto.

But hey, now that I’m fresh and back into the dating thing again, I might be a little rusty, so I’ll be back here with who know what kind of questions that come up. But I feel I’m better armed than I was years ago, and I’m not about to make the mistakes I made in the past…not that I made any huge mistakes, but I had me a few nonetheless. The way I see it, mistakes you make can turn into opportunities, so never live with regrets.

Yeah, I was married once, and pretty recently. I don’t consider my past marriage a mistake, and I’ll tell you why. I learned and grew from it. What I take from that relationship has improved me as a man and makes me better for future relationships. I am not mortal enemies with my ex, and any hurt we had between us is in the past.

*********

Be good, Nikki!

Latest articles:

Valentine's Day when we are in between relationships...

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 February 2008: Valentine's Day s____. That’s right I’m saying it. Here is a day dedicated to love. For most the holiday celebrates the love between two people together and in romantic love. It’s a wonderful day for lovers. But for those of us not in l...

A child asked me if I was God...

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

19 January 2008: I know the following story has nothing to do with relationship advice but it is a very personal event that happened to me on this day. Since I have no significant other to share this with now….I will share it with you readers and fellow agony ...

Happy Birthday, Bra!

This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 November 2007: Today November 28, 2007 is the 100 year anniversary of the bra! Seriously now, how awesome is that! It’s the greatest most underrated invention of our time. I mean how great is the bra? Without it women would have saggy bags like you see on ...

< Prev1234567Next > [7 pages, 253 answers]

My-bf and his friend have seen escorts while we were broken up. I am determined to stop our relationship. Any advice?

Q.   Well I feel unbelievably jaded right now. My boyfriend and I had broken up. I broke up with him for GOOD reason. And no he hadn't cheated on me. YET. Anyways we got back together about two and half months after breaking up. Two days later I found ...

A.   8 December 2007: If the court pleases I’m going to revise my answer. I will agree with the evidence that he clearly was already broken up with you, and as such he is considered single and available, and can do anything he pleases. In that I have no dispute. And ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is almost perfect...but I don't think I am attrated to him.

Q.   i have been with my bf now for 2 months. things have started up really well. i can be very shy around guys but with him i feel i can be myself and conversation doesnt just dry up like it did in my previous relationships. he has the nicest ...

A.   8 December 2007: Physical attraction does play a big part in relationships, and it’s crucial that you find your partner attractive. You just don’t learn to be attracted to him. That's instinct and comes from deep inside you, you can’t change it. You surely can ... (read in full...)

I've asked her a thousand times if she has cheated on me and she denies it, however I still have suspicions. Any way to monitor her online and other activities?

Q.   I met my girlfriend online. She lives about 3 states away from me. I suspect that she is cheating on me. We onl get to talk by emails, chat rooms, etc. and she isnt comfortable about her giving me her number. Whenever she does get on, its already ...

A.   8 December 2007: She is not your girlfriend! Whatever you may have said to each other on chat if you and her don’t even talk on the phone she is not your girlfriend, no way no how. In fact, she may not be who she presents herself to be. She could even be a guy! ... (read in full...)

My-bf and his friend have seen escorts while we were broken up. I am determined to stop our relationship. Any advice?

Q.   Well I feel unbelievably jaded right now. My boyfriend and I had broken up. I broke up with him for GOOD reason. And no he hadn't cheated on me. YET. Anyways we got back together about two and half months after breaking up. Two days later I found ...

A.   8 December 2007: I hate to tell you this, my dear, but if he spent 350 dollars on this girl it was more than he tells you it was. She was an expensive call-girl, and she was obviously providing sexual favors to him. If he said he didn’t touch her that’s called a ... (read in full...)

My girls wants a threesome!

Q.   My girlfriend wants us to have a threesome with another woman and I'm not sure if I want to. I think it would be fun, but I'm quite a jealous person when it comes to her, and I think I might even get jealous of her with another woman. She really ...

A.   7 December 2007: What I find amazing in your question is that you think YOU will be jealous of her with another woman, when usually it’s the girlfriend that can get jealous of her guy with the other girl! Wow.... Threesomes only work when the parties involved... (read in full...)

How long do guys normally last

Q.   Once you get past all foreplay etc, once intercourse has started- how long is the avg time before a guy ejaculates??...

A.   7 December 2007: You last as long as you want and your strength can hold up. I've had intercourse lasting 20 minutes to several hours. I think the more you do it the more you have control over when you ejaculate. It comes with age and experience. And ejaculating ... (read in full...)

I made him choose between me and the dog and he picked the dog.

Q.   My husband and i recently separated, mainly because i gave him an ultimatum, me or the dog. He did choose the dogs. I miss him desperately and would consider going back, but he says that no one is more or less important to him than his dogs. I sai...

A.   7 December 2007: I have three dogs that I love dearly, but I would never ever choose them over any woman whom I loved. I’m about to enter the dating scene after my marriage breaking up (nothing to do with the dogs). She left me with three dogs to care for on m... (read in full...)

Does size matter? I'm 5-11, he's 6-5 and 225 pounds!

Q.   I have been dating my gf for about a year now. I recently saw pictures of the last guy she dated. He is 6-5 225 pounds and in shape. I'm 5-11 and in avg shape. Sometimes I worry that because her ex was a physically tall/big guy that it means he ...

A.   6 December 2007: Let’s look at two things here: One was that this guy was not her boyfriend, but they saw each other and hooked up for a while. That’s called a fuck-buddy, and whether you can tell he had bigger dick or not, he obviously satisfied her enough to go ... (read in full...)

What can I get my boyfriend for Christmas, that can be engraved?

Q.   This might sound like a trivial cry for help but,- What on earth should I get my boyfriend of 5 months for Christmas? I want to get something I could get engraved. He's into music,- plays guitar, but not into sports, doesn't drink alcoh...

A.   5 December 2007: My ex gave me a bracelet made of solid 14k with my name engraved. I only wore it a few days. A better gift would have been if she bougtht a baseball and signed her name on in. That would have been cheaper, and being the baseball collector I am I ... (read in full...)

Wife took me off-guard by regaling to our friends..how she made some guy's toes curl with a BJ before she met me! This pissed me off..how do I deal with this?

Q.   My wife and I were out drinking with some friends, and (don't ask why, because I don't know), her one female friend asked if all guys curl their toes when they have an orgasm. I'm assuming that her husband either does or doesn't and she was curious ...

A.   5 December 2007: If it weren't for the fact that this story of hers was told in a party setting with both male and female friends of yours to hear, I wouldn't let it bother me... This is the kind of talk women have with each other about sex, stories that can... (read in full...)

My wife wants to have sex with another man to get pregnant!

Q.   My wife is desperate to get pregnant. She is 39 and we have been trying for about 4 years. She doesn't want to do IVF we tried IUI and she hated it. A good friend has offered to have sex with her (unprotected) to see if that would work. (nb I am not ...

A.   5 December 2007: So your friend goes up to you and after being privy to your case, and I wonder who told him and why, he goes to you and says “You know I can do you a favor and screw your wife!” And you buy that? She buys that? She’s says she cant stand the idea ... (read in full...)

We've been out twice...is he my bf??

Q.   hey guys!! Well ive been out with this guy twice and i was wondering is he my boyfriend? Because i dont want to go around saying hes my boyfriend while hes going round telling his mates that were just going out. weve hugged and pecked each othe...

A.   4 December 2007: It’s not how many dates you have but it’s the three magic words that will make you and him boyfriend/girlfriend...Those words are I LOVE YOU. When you tell him this and he responds saying the same that's when you are an item. After you declare to ... (read in full...)

Lost the spark, been trying to regain it... but nothing. Is it over?

Q.   After 2 years and 10 months of going out, I just can not find that spark with my girlfriend any longer. We've gone through these phases before in the past, but this time seems very different. I no longer look at her and desire her for sex, and ...

A.   3 December 2007: I think internally your relationship is over. If she's spending weekends at your place and you're not having sex that's bad! And then you get all happy when she leaves. Yes, in so many ways its over but not officially. Its better to end this ... (read in full...)

Guys give me name and numbers...but I just don't know what to do with a boyfriend.

Q.   I'm 21yrs old and i have never had a boyfreind, i like to go out to partys and clubs with my freinds, i have had guys come up to me and ask me for my name and then my number. However, i've never given them my number and even though it feels good tha...

A.   2 December 2007: You sound like you have surrounded yourself with dead ends. If you're not giving out your phone number you will never give a guy a chance to talk to you unless you take the initiative and call them yourselves. What makes it worse is you won’t call ... (read in full...)

Once you cheat will you cheat again??

Q.   OK, a poll: Do you think once you cheat you will always cheat? Even if you found your soul-mate, married and are happy with each other and both agree that finding each other was the best thing that ever happened to you? I cheated and know it was w...

A.   2 December 2007: As humans we were born with reason and intellect. We have the ability to make mistakes, but then also learn from them, and become better humans with what they call wisdom. Wisdom doesn't just come from books but from learned personal experiences. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my future fiance I kissed another girl??

Q.   I am doing long distance with my girlfriend for 2 years. I am about to propose to her and move in together, but for the next month we will still be apart. Last week, I kissed another girl. There was absolutely no emotional connection. Should I ...

A.   1 December 2007: Well I answered this question first and I said you shouldn’t tell her about it. So far every one after me, mostly women have disagreed with me. I guess my point was just proven… overwhelmingly a lot of girls got pretty angry with you for even ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my future fiance I kissed another girl??

Q.   I am doing long distance with my girlfriend for 2 years. I am about to propose to her and move in together, but for the next month we will still be apart. Last week, I kissed another girl. There was absolutely no emotional connection. Should I ...

A.   1 December 2007: If you love your Fiance, and I should think you do, you should never tell her about this event. It could do some damage to your trust with her. Keep it to yourself and let it be forgotten. This ia a discussion which could lead to an arguement you ... (read in full...)

Umm ... was it sex?

Q.   my boyfriends and i were fooling around the other night. it started as just humping, i had no underwear on, but he had boxers on. Then he took them off. we did the same humping motion, and his penis touched my vagina, an went in, but i dont know if ...

A.   1 December 2007: It was sex BEFORE it went in. Whay you are asking though is was it sexual intercouse. The amswer is yes....it went in. Even if it only penetrated an inch it was intercourse... (read in full...)

We played truth or dare, what did my wife get up to?

Q.   Hi. A bunch of us (about 12-14 people) were playing Truth or Dare a week ago at our house. My wife and I are happily married for a few years, and this is not the first time we have had 'semi-wild' parties (read, not swinger parties, just 'fun' ...

A.   30 November 2007: I'm actually relieved for you that it might have been just a hand job....If its true. (But still, he came, so it must have been a good hand job!) If that's her story let her stick with it and live happily ever after. Case closed. In the future ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to ask a guy out??

Q.   Is it wrong to ask a guy to go out with you or should you just keep it old fashioned? ...

A.   30 November 2007: No guy would ever get offended by gettng asked out. I've been asked out a few times and I take it as a compliment and had said yes to them. But you should know the rules: as a girl who is doing the asking, the date may have to be paid for 50/50... ... (read in full...)

I found a pregnancy test and a female's picture in my husband's toolbox. I suspect an affair.

Q.   i found a pregancy test in my husband toolbox and a pic. of a girl. he told me that the test and the pic. had been in thier a long time,the test was his exwife and the girl he don`t rem... how do i no he telling me the truth. rem.. he lied to me ...

A.   30 November 2007: Duh! What more proof do you want? I know this hurts and it the last thing you want to learn about. I know cause I've been there. What you are going through is denial. The evidence is right in front of you and you don't want to believe it. ... (read in full...)

A new way to verify your partner has not been cheating during your time apart?

Q.   My 'lover' says that his friends wife always knew if he'd been faithful when away on business, as his testicles would be 'high' (indicating abstinence) - I've never heard of this, is it true ... ?...

A.   30 November 2007: This sounds like total BS to me! Doc Phil is right, its temperature that controls how high the testicles are riding. He could probably get away with banging some chick the night before and just before "balls-inspection" time he could rub an i... (read in full...)

Is this just sex or a relationship? Should I just go along with it, and hopefully he will "catch on" ?

Q.   Okay, So, I have been thinking. I really like this guy, and he likes me, we aren't dating, but have had sex a few times. We didn't mean to the first time, we were pretty messed up. But, we had been talking for almost a year or so about dating. He ...

A.   30 November 2007: Wow....I never hear of a no-strings attached relationship with kids your age. Well to translate for you a no-strings attachment is just a sexual relationship without love involved. Could it involve love in the future? Maybe, but not likely. He ... (read in full...)

Am I gay or is it common for straight women to be turned on by other women's bodies?

Q.   I have been wondering about my sexual orientation for quite some time now. I understand that doubts about your own sexual identities are common for teenagers, but I am already in my 20s and this question has lurked in the back of my mind for many ...

A.   30 November 2007: Speaking as a guy...if I were born a woman I would be a lesbian. Ain't no doubt about that! SO yeah, its perfectly all right to love the female body even as a female. That being said...I thank God i am a guy! Wheauuuuh!... (read in full...)

Is it gay to watch gay porn?

Q.   is it gay to watch gay porn...

A.   30 November 2007: I don't watch gay porn even for curiosity, so yeah if you watch gay porn you are gay. I concur with the others who say that the mere thought of it is repulsive and disgusting. If you watch it just for the curiosity you must be bi-curious. And if ... (read in full...)

Guys, can you be normal friends with a girl you find attractive, even though a relationship would not be possible?

Q.   Guys: Can you be normal friends with a girl you find hot and wish you could sleep with, but know nothing can happen? Would you hang around and continue being 'friends', even though you never saw eachother out and only got on really well when...

A.   30 November 2007: No! That's why I make lovers out of girls I want to sleep with. That's my quick answer. I do not make platonic friends out of girls I want to sleep with and here’s why...it sucks! How can you stand by be a friend to this girl you want to be wi... (read in full...)

Do I deserve more than just a text now and then?

Q.   So, I am confused. I have been hanging out with this guy I met about a month ago off and on. We've hung out about 4 times together. Usually watching movies and t.v. We had sex for the first time this past weekend. He text me a bit after that ...

A.   30 November 2007: Call me a dinosaur but I hate texting. Here we are living in the computer and cell phone age and we go around tapping words into the cell phones we should be speaking into. It’s like we are regressing to the age of the telegraph. (For those of ... (read in full...)

What defines a weak person??

Q.   What is defined as a weak person? I heard somene say it was someone who didn't stand by their opinion. I do stand by my opinion most of the time but it's hard when everyone doesn't agree with you but the other person and no one is on your side and ...

A.   30 November 2007: Being weak is not about standing up for what you believe in. What you believe could be a pile of crap! What makes you strong is NOT how strongly you stand up for what you believe, but how well you can defend in what you believe and how right you ... (read in full...)

A good place for your "first time" ? Suggestions, please.

Q.   Where would you say is a good place to have sex for the first time for both you and your partner? and who esle would be around you? e.g. in a house parents etc.Suggestions, please....

A.   30 November 2007: I agree with most who say that a bed would be the best place for your first time. Your place or his, whatever works out best. A hotel or nice (not cheesy) motel might also be good...neutral ground with few distractions. After you have your first ... (read in full...)

A neighbour changing in view of my wife and I!!!

Q.   Hi Over the past few weeks our neighbour has been putting on a show in their bed room. What I mean by this is, she get undressed and gets changed without drawing the blinds. My wife and I can see all this from our lounge room if we have our blin...

A.   30 November 2007: So where is the problem here? Your neighbor is an amateur stripper and gives free shows... You're not offended, and you have blinds when you need them. Am I missing something here? What is the problem? Is your neighbor not hot enough? ... (read in full...)

Is it true that most men need to sleep with various women? Is "it was just sex" just an excuse? Or is there actually a connection?

Q.   is it true that most men need to sleep with various women? is it possible for a man to "love" a woman but cheat on her constantly and it mean nothing? when men say "its just sex" is there really a connection. Is this true or just intended to make it ...

A.   30 November 2007: My dear, you I will try to be frank and upfront with you. The subject of the difference between men and woman happens to be one I have discussed and argued about for years. Instead of trying to talk nice to you I will give you a window on how men ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to date an ex's best friend??

Q.   Well i am going to ask this girl out soon and we flirt alot and it just so happens that her best friend is my ex. I was wondering if it was looked down upon. Me and my ex are still really good friends. Any help would be great... ...

A.   29 November 2007: I don't think there's anything wrong with dating an ex's friend. If your ex is a cool person she may even give you her blessing and be happy that you two can be happy. Just don't throw it in her face and use a little discretion. If you broke up ... (read in full...)

I found photos of her naked ex in our room!

Q.   I (we've) got a little problem (or not). My wife is always very honest with me. She has never slept with anyone but me, but I know the first names of a few guys she dated and fooled around with some prior to me. Anyway, we bought our house a little ...

A.   28 November 2007: Good for you, man. You're doing the right thing, trust me on this. Burn the pics and forget about it. You never have to bring it up either. I agree..she doesn't have the right to keep those pictures. She's married to you, and he is history.... (read in full...)

Guys...would you let your gf do topless modelling??

Q.   Okay, so I had a good job, good education and great prospects but I meet someone and fall madly in love. After a while we make a choice to have children, I decide that I want to bring my children up and so leave my job. Everything is fantasti...

A.   28 November 2007: I think your posing topless is harmless and it would be wonderful for your morale. I would be proud of you if I were your boyfriend or husband and would support you. This is not the same as stripping at a club. Its just a photo! Other men will see... (read in full...)

My friend's stategy to attract women. What do you think?

Q.   I recently spoke to one of my guy friends about how he gets girls/woman to like him ( because he always seems to have woman on the go) He said that he gives them attention and then cuts it off and this makes them want more? What do...

A.   28 November 2007: I don't play those kinds of games, but I can see how it works. Its called teasing. Flirting is another word for it. I know how to flirt too, but I don't play the give and take game...that's like a form of cruelty! Why you want to cruel to someone ... (read in full...)

He says I should learn to enjoy touching and cuddling and all the sex is createing too much pressure.

Q.   I am 42, just divorced and met this man 20 years older than me. We start to have sex two or three time a day when we are together. I really enjoyed it because my marriage is lack of sex. He said I am wanting too much sex and it is a sign of ...

A.   28 November 2007: No you don't! Beacuse you are the woman you do more of the controlling in bed than he, so if you need more sex, he has to understand this and try to fulfill your needs. He may be having erectile dysfuntion, which is another issue. Maybe he should ... (read in full...)

She came over...we made out...and now she doesn't seem to want to talk to me.

Q.   I met this female on a dating site. She lives a few minutes from me. We have talked on the telephone and then she called me up and said she wanted to come over. I agreed. We watched a movie and i rubbed her shoulders and lower back. We were talking ...

A.   28 November 2007: It seems like everything is going right for you in this situation...except for the fact that she wants to avoid you now! We call this a SILENT BREAKUP....where you avoid the other person, not return calls pretend not to notice, basically fall off ... (read in full...)

Scared of losing my virginity.

Q.   hiya, I'm 19 and i'm still a virgin. I'm scared of losing it because i was sexual harrassed in high school, and i've never had a real long relationship. When i was sexual harrassed i had a bf and he did nothing, he didn't comfort me or do or say a...

A.   28 November 2007: You shouldn't be involved in a sexual relationship until you know you are ready. If you feel your fears are keeping you away from such a relationship, it may actaully be normal. Its only society that tells you to have sex at an early age, but truly ... (read in full...)

Anyone else have a real preference for sex in evenings?

Q.   I really prefer sex in the evening. Morning sex rarely does anything for me in fact although I'll sometimes have the horn the wee fella downstairs is asleep. Bed time is another matter and I'm a sex pest. Anyone else like this? Prefer ...

A.   28 November 2007: My preference is evenings. But really anytime is ok for me. Morning, noon, afternoon, between meals, after meals, during meals, on a train, on a plane, on a bus in an elevator, sun up, sun down, sideways, backwards, on a chandelier, under a ... (read in full...)

Sex from behind/on top... how do I make it enjoyable for him?

Q.   What do guys like you to do (how to move) when you are having sex from behind (doggy style)?? Also, how do you have sex on top when the penis is quite small? I want to make sure it is enjoyable to him. ...

A.   28 November 2007: Wow...loaded question here. I don't quite understand your question about doggy style. I'm no clinical expert, but what we do is grab your butt, get in behind and start banging...its all in the hips...what more do you want to know? Sometime a ... (read in full...)

I love my girlfriend, but she's lying about how she feels!

Q.   hello. i have been going out with my gf whos 17 and im 17 for 23 months today,and i love her and i know some people say that im too young to know what love is.But i know that i love her lots.and a few months ago i split up with her bacause the ...

A.   28 November 2007: Women do not lie about how they feel, they just hide the truth. Often time we men have to read their actions instead of their words. Your girl's actions, seeing other guys, should tell you everything you need to know. She has moved on from you. ... (read in full...)

How long will a guy wait for sex??

Q.   So heres just a general question to see what everyones point of view is. How long is a unreasonable amount of time to expect a guy to wait for sex? What I mean is, say a girl isnt ready to have sex with her bf (whether she be a virgin or not) but...

A.   28 November 2007: Oh my God! Your follow-up question I can write a whole book about. But I will try to give you my short answer. We are talking about the age old differences between men and women here. Only God himself who made us can explain why were made so ... (read in full...)

How long will a guy wait for sex??

Q.   So heres just a general question to see what everyones point of view is. How long is a unreasonable amount of time to expect a guy to wait for sex? What I mean is, say a girl isnt ready to have sex with her bf (whether she be a virgin or not) but...

A.   28 November 2007: Okay, here I am being the Bull in the China shop again. You want a guy’s answer you’ll get it from me without the sugar coating. First of all, no guy is going to wait forever to get sex. Any guy who says that either is not born with a penis... (read in full...)

I found photos of her naked ex in our room!

Q.   I (we've) got a little problem (or not). My wife is always very honest with me. She has never slept with anyone but me, but I know the first names of a few guys she dated and fooled around with some prior to me. Anyway, we bought our house a little ...

A.   28 November 2007: At the risk of sounding like the lone Bull in the China shop I have to be frank here. Tear up the pictures! If she ever brings it up to and is inquiring with something like: “Oh honey, I had some naked pictures of an old boyfriend I’ve been ... (read in full...)

We played truth or dare, what did my wife get up to?

Q.   Hi. A bunch of us (about 12-14 people) were playing Truth or Dare a week ago at our house. My wife and I are happily married for a few years, and this is not the first time we have had 'semi-wild' parties (read, not swinger parties, just 'fun' ...

A.   18 November 2007: Okay there’s a big elephant in the room and I thinks it time somebody pointed it out. Yeah, your wife screwed with this guy. Hell yeah he had his underwear off. And the fact that your wife is being evasive about what clearly happened should point ... (read in full...)

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