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| | Salad_Barbarian's profile:Hi, some info about me. First up I'm Christian. I live on the southside of Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A. I'm also single, 25 years old, childfree, and a virgin. As for qualifications I don't really have any. I'm just a good listener who people have been coming to for advice for a while now. Don't have much of a clue as to what makes me tick. Every time I try to figure it out I get attacked by little blue men with fish (yay Tick reference). Seriously however, I just want to help some people as we all try to get by in this life. If you want to know more about me I have a Live Journal.www: salad-barbarian.livejournal.com |
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Is it just me or is anyone else feeling concerned about the amount of unfaithfulness goin on here?
Q. Is it just me or is anyone else getting scared as hell of the amount of unfaithful married couples goin on here? This makes me super frightened to be married! Dosnt anyone believe in a commitment these days? No wonder the divorce rate is sky high, ...
A. 13 May 2008: I don't think cheating is as prevalent as this site makes it seem. If I were to go by this site I would think that all spouses cheat, all students want to have sex with their teachers, and men and women beating each other is the norm. People only ... (read in full...)
If female nudity was not commercially exploited, would there be more cheating?
Q. Here's one for the guys...and women if you want to comment too!.... If there were no such thing as media, porn, dirty magazines, playboy, Hooters restaurants, or any exploitation of sexual suggestion, etc., if strip clubs were never invented...
A. 11 May 2008: I think that the same men and women who cheat now would cheat under those circumstances as well. It's not a matter of what is out in the world but what is in a person's heart. When two people are truly in love it wouldn't matter who was around them ... (read in full...)
I want revenge on my cheating boyfriend! What should I do?
Q. My bf and I were together for 2 years. I found him cheated on me in Jan 08. She was with him for 4 years. So he is cheating on me all the time. I forgave him once because he told me he broke it off already. Then, things happened, My bf forgot to ...
A. 6 May 2008: The best revenge is to forget him and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
Have decided I would like to have a child-but partner may decide the opposite! Any advice?
Q. I am 35, on the fast slide to 36 and I have decided I would like to have a child. Unfortunately, I am experiencing that common problem of a partner (39) who has decided the opposite. We have a strong, loving relationship. We both share strong e...
A. 4 May 2008: Why not adopt? It wouldn't add another person to the planet and the two of you could provide a loving home to a child in need.... (read in full...)
Are guys put off dating a woman who's a virgin?
Q. This is a question for the guys. I'm in my early twenties and I'm a virgin. I'm saving myself for the right person. Do men prefer experienced women? Are guys put off dating a woman who's a virgin. What are your views please? thanks alot...
A. 3 May 2008: Writing as someone who is saving himself for marriage I would prefer a woman who was also waiting.... (read in full...)
He said when we make love that it's emotional for him. What did he mean?
Q. My boy friend and I just got back together, and we made love like we always do. Sex with him is amazing! We discussed a lot of things today and he mentioned that when we made love it was emotional for him. I didn't understand that comment...so I ...
A. 3 May 2008: It means that sex is about more than physical contact for him. It's a way of expressing his feelings for you.... (read in full...)
I feel guilty now for wanting children, when I once said I didn't. How do handle this?
Q. I've been married for 5 years, I'm 27 and our relationship has lasted over eight years. When I was younger I didn't think I'd ever want kids. All of a sudden I can't stop thinking about having a child. My husband doesn't, and I feel guilty for want...
A. 3 May 2008: Have you thought about babysitting or some other job that involves children? That is the closest thing to a compromise I can think of. The two of you entered this relationship with the understanding that there would be no children. Do you think you ... (read in full...)
Boys and Men...what do you think about teenage lesbians?
Q. Older men..do you think 'Oh she's just a teenager, it's just a phase..she doesn't really know what she wants'? We had to talk about it in class today and it seemed that most boys thought it 'hot'. I know some guys think that, but what do the othe...
A. 1 May 2008: 13 to 19 covers a wide range as far as maturity goes. The brain is still developing from childhood to adulthood so I wouldn't say one way or another if it's a phase or not. But I have to say I would take a 19 year olds statement more seriously than ... (read in full...)
What is most important in life?
Q. In everyone's opinion.. what is the most important thing in life? Would you say it was work, love, family etc ?? Just wondering, i'd like to see different people's opinions.....
A. 27 April 2008: To me God is the most important thing in life. Knowing that no matter where I am or what I do I'm loved. That is an amazing feeling. ... (read in full...)
What is guys' opinion about women with kids?
Q. does having a child turn a guy off? im 20 and have a 3yr old daughter. me and her dad broke up last year. do guys not like women wiv kids...
A. 25 April 2008: There are some men out there who don't care if a woman has kids or not. But I'm not one of them. If a woman either has children or wants children then I wouldn't get romantically involved. But like I said other guys might be ok with it.... (read in full...)
Id like some advice on how I can deal with my boyfriend owning a gun?
Q. Hello, Id like some advice on how i can deal with my boyfriend owning a gun. He says its like another body part, and takes it everywhere with him. I really don't like the idea of him carrying a gun, i mean, i don't mind if he owns one, and h...
A. 25 April 2008: Is there a particular reason you're not comfortable with guns?
I've found that when most people are scared of something whether it's guns or flying or computers, learning more about them lessens the fear. Next time you visit him tell him how his ... (read in full...)
Should he stay a virgin?
Q. Hi all, I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in w...
A. 18 April 2008: My thoughts are these:
He has every right to say what he wants.
Everyone else has this same right.
His responses seem less than coherent.
Butt then idk som otters ppl kin b less then redabl.
He is doing harm to other Christians by raving... (read in full...)
Do men know they are treating you badly?
Q. Do men know they are treating you badly? I have a feeling they do. For example the bf wouldn't call me for days and then call and act like nothing was wrong and I would start to pull away so then he would suddenly start doing the right things aga...
A. 15 April 2008: Some men are convinced that treating a woman badly is the only way to keep her. There are whole books dedicated to this subject!
But there is another non-sinister reason behind men's actions. That being that men and women think differen... (read in full...)
Poll Question, Please answer: Are you closer to your Mom, or to your Dad?
Q. Hi Guys! This isnt really a romance question, but a relationship one nonetheless, and I would really like as many answers as possible. My boyfriend and I have a differance of opinion on familial relationships. One of us says that boys generall...
A. 15 April 2008: I'm a lot closer to my dad than my mom. My dad has always been the center of the family. My mom just seems to be helpless about everything so dad is the one doing all the driving, sewing, and most of the cooking. He also didn't need to be pushed ... (read in full...)
Are there any other people who want to wait for marriage before having sex?
Q. As a young man 25 years old, I want to know if there are any other people from 18-35 who have standards and want to remain virgins when they marry, also would not marry a person who has been divorced and had kids of of wedlock?...
A. 15 April 2008: I'm 25 and waiting. I don't like children so I could never get involved with someone who had them. As for divorce it would depend on why. There are good reasons to get divorced such as abuse or cheating. Of course I would want to be sure that she ... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend wait for sex if he truly loves me?
Q. Me and my bf are 5 yrs apart, and even though were in love, he tells me he can wait to have sex with me but I wonder if its true cause most guys I know won't wait. And how can we make are relationship stronger than what it is. Thanks ...
A. 14 April 2008: Not all men are sex maniacs. If he says he is willing to wait then he is willing to wait.
When it comes to strengthening a relationship all you need is time, caring, and trust. Time to learn more about each other, caring to help you through ... (read in full...)
Hes been having a lot of ideas about us having a baby together I don't know if I'm ready for this
Q. Dear cupid.. i been with my boyfriend dan for about 2 years now, we are engaged. but lately hes been having a lot of ideas about us having a baby together i dont know if im ready for this quite yet what shall i do ? ...
A. 14 April 2008: Tell him that you are not ready to have a baby. Spending a few years together as a married couple will give each of you a chance to get to know each other and fall more deeply in love.
Then when the two of you do have a child you'll each have a s... (read in full...)
I'm scared people will think badly of me when I tell them I have been raped...
Q. This is for the guys......Would you not want to be with a girl because she had been raped because she is in a sense "used"?? I have a hard time deciding whether i should tell people this because I'm scared they'll think badly of me............
A. 14 April 2008: As far as I'm concerned rape is not real sex. It is a grotesque and vile perversion. I wound never consider a woman "used" after that had been done to her.
When it comes to telling others about this I think you should definitely tell the police s... (read in full...)
He don't give me money,but I feel he should do that sometimes or buy me things
Q. dear cupid, i've been in a relationship for four months now with a young charming guy,he is 27 n very matured. i get scared sometimes cos of things i have experienced in my past relationships.he is very nice n caring also matured as well,but i fi...
A. 13 April 2008: If a woman I was dating started asking for money or gifts I would have serious doubts about if she really cared for me or if she were just using me.
Money and objects are not love.
If he did give you money how would that be different from b... (read in full...)
I gave in to his request (oral sex) but he did not return the favour. Am I right to be upset?
Q. I recently gave my 1st blowjob to a guy I was dating. He wanted it so much and so I gave in. Although personally I felt the act demeaning, I didn't mind doing it as I was attracted to this guy so much. However when I asked him if he would return ...
A. 13 April 2008: How long was it before you "gave in"? Because it sounds like you made him beg for it and now he wants you to do the begging.
Another possibility is that he is just selfish.... (read in full...)
Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?
Q. Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....
A. 12 April 2008: To TT: The thing about a religion telling you what to do or not do is that if you don't believe in that particular religion then it's rules have no hold on you.
I think marriage should be regarded similarly to baptism in that there should b... (read in full...)
Should same sex marriages be legal, in your opinion?
Q. Hey so my question is should Same Sex marriage be legal? I think yes, but I would like to know what you think....
A. 11 April 2008: I believe that marriage is a religious institution. As such no government has a right to tell consenting adults who they can and can not marry.... (read in full...)
Men - how would you feel if a woman pursued you, instead of the other way around?
Q. Men - how would you feel if a woman pursued you, instead of the other way around? Assuming you did like the person but were shy, would you prefer her to hint at her interest, or be upfront and ask you out? In my case, it's a friend of a friend, ...
A. 11 April 2008: As a shy man I would really like a woman to ask me out. After all men and women think differently and what you consider a strong hint may go completely unnoticed by him.
You don't say how long you have been out of a relationship. Since I don't kn... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in being a mother. Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?
Q. I'm in my early thirties and never been married and happy about that. Anyways, I might get married someday but I'm still not very interested in having kids. I'm afraid of pregnancy and I think kids are annoying. I've had health issues in the pa...
A. 25 March 2008: I definitely don't want kids and I'm not alone. There is an entire community of childfree people out there. If you want I could point you to several online groups of people who don't want children ever.
Ignore all of those below who have said: 1)... (read in full...)
Why do they lose their respect for me when I'm such a caring GF?
Q. I dont know where Im goin wrong with guys and I need some advice. Every relationship I have had, whether long-term or short-term, it always ends because they lose their respect for me and walk all over me. I dont know why this happens because I am a ...
A. 24 March 2008: I think it's a problem of men (and women) going into relationships feeling confused about themselves. So many people seem to be looking for someone else to tell them who they are. The men you have encountered sound like they were hoping you would ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy do this?
Q. Why would a guy you hooked up with and was dating for three months and you know he loves you and you love him, stop calling you because you told him you didn't know if you was free to go out with him on Friday, and that you would call him?...
A. 17 March 2008: Maybe he is waiting for you to call him? When someone tells me she or he will call me I don't call her or him. Instead of wondering what's on his mind why not call him (even though it's past friday) and talk to him?... (read in full...)
Does it matter if she swallows? I really would like to know...
Q. this is a questions for the guys this is a real question i need to ask do guys really like it more when a girl swallows and does it make a difference if we dont i ask this question because i want to please my hunny as much as i can so does it matte...
A. 17 March 2008: The actual swallowing or not wouldn't matter to me. But I would rather not see her spitting.
That's just my opinion, you might want to ask him though since he is the one you want to please.... (read in full...)
Help! I want a baby soon and my husband wants one way later...
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 and a half years and we have a wonderful son who is going to turn 2 in april. When my son turned one I started getting this feeling that it was time to have another baby. This feeling grew stronger over time ...
A. 10 March 2008: First off I feel like I should thank you. It seems like many women these days are willing to go off of birth control and "oops" their partners into having a child. Waiting until your husband is ok with this shows a great amount of will power and may ... (read in full...)
Am I making a mistake leaveing my abusive girlfriend??
Q. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, 6 months of that we have been living together. I met her when I arrived in Australia and quickly became good friends. After two months of dating I was offered a good job in a different state wh...
A. 3 March 2008: Thank you for updating us on the situation. It's very rare for someone in you position to tell those who gave advice what eventually happened. I'm glad you were able to start moving on with your life.... (read in full...)
I want a baby, but he doesn't - due to financial reasons. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years and for a while now I have been wanting to have a baby with him. I have tried to talk to him about it and every time he tells me that he is not financially ready. We both have good jobs and make good ...
A. 1 March 2008: Maybe he dosen't want to risk losing you. You say he has two kids already, the fact that he's with you says to me that the relationship with their mother didn't work out. It's possible that the children were the reason for the break up and he is ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to stop wet dreams??
Q. Hi, I'm 14 and i recently started getting "wet dreams" - it's quite annoying and how to stop it ? Also , sometimes i wake up after one, I clean the semen with a tissue and flush it down the toilet.. can someone get pregnant if they use the toilet s...
A. 27 February 2008: The only way I could think of to make them stop would be to masturbate. The male body is constantly producing semen and at some point it builds up and has to get rid of it. That's what I learned anyway.... (read in full...)
He has a child and doesn't want anymore...but what if I want children??
Q. I am in an age gap relationship, I am 36 he is 56, we have been together for 7 years and we love each other to bits there is one sticking point that keeps cropping up in my head and this is the issue of children. He has an 8 year old child fr...
A. 25 February 2008: Is there anything preventing you from being a mother to his 8 year old? You have been with this man for 7 years which means that from the time the child was 1 you have been a part of his father's life and I would assume part of child's life as well. ... (read in full...)
How long can someone last without food?
Q. heyx I am 15 years old, and just out of curiosity, how long would you say i can last without any food? And dnt tel me about how its bad for me, i already know that. Im just curious how long a girl like me, about 5 ft 3 weighing in about 9 and a ha...
A. 24 February 2008: I think it depends on how much body fat you have. I once went 40 days without food and I was ok. I'm 5'10 and weighed about 240 when I started. I drank a lot of kool aid rather than water so that might have helped. I would caution you that if you go ... (read in full...)
Does anyone out there agree with staying a virgin until they are married?
Q. heyx I was just curious, is there anyone out there that agrees with me when i say i want to stay a virgin til im married? Does anyone think thats good? Im 15, and believe that you shouldnt have sex untill you have had your wedding. do you think th...
A. 24 February 2008: It dosen't sound pathetic at all, I think that is the way sex is supposed to be. As for me I'm waiting for my one and only. I'm 10 years older than you and I'll keep waiting as long as it takes.... (read in full...)
If you have oral sex and finger sex are you still a virgin?
Q. Hey I was wondering.... if you had oral sex and finger sex are you still a virgin? I was just wondering....
A. 23 February 2008: As far as some people are concerned as long as the hymen is unbroken you're a virgin. However from a moral standpoint sex is sex whether it involves the hymen or not.
As far as I'm concerned a person who engages in those activities is not a vi... (read in full...)
I'm secretly dating him, should I continue?
Q. I'm a 13yrd old girl who needs some peoples opinions. So I'm in grade 8 and a boy in my class likes me. He's 13 as well. I think he is very nice and all but I never realized he liked me until he asked me to the movies and he told me. He started ...
A. 22 February 2008: I don't think it's right for you to hide this from your parents. At some point they will find out and they'll most likely try to break the two of you up.
An easy solution would be to bring 1 or 2 of your friends and have him bring along 1 or 2 o... (read in full...)
Choice between abortion or keeping it
Q. If anyone here has ever had the choice to make between keeping a baby, making a person you love very much happy or aborting a baby and having a future, please help me! I'm 17 and a college student. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 10 mo...
A. 17 February 2008: The choice dosen't have to be between keeping it or killing it. Put the child up for adoption of foster care.... (read in full...)
Disagreement about virginity with my boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I seem to have a disagreement regarding virginity. Four years ago, when I was just a 15 year old, I gave a BJ to a friend of mine. He was always a friend, nothing but. Two years later, this friend introduced me to my now boyfriend...
A. 15 February 2008: Both a BJ and a HJ are sex. It dosen't matter if it's vaginal, hand, anal, or oral it is sex. But I see no reason to tell your children about any of your past sexual exploits.... (read in full...)
Can I expect my man to do 50% of the household work?
Q. Can I expect my man to do 50% of the household work? or should I just be happy with the fact that "he is trying". He has been "trying" for 2 years now and he still needs help to keep clean....
A. 12 February 2008: I wonder what you mean by "trying". Does that mean he does a little bit and then quits? Or does it mean he does things his way and you want them done your way? ... (read in full...)
Caught my son masturbating, should I buy him some condoms, sextoys and an informative book?
Q. just rececetly i caught my 13 year old son masturbating naked on top of his bed i saw his penis and pubes, this hasnt effected our relationship but i was wondering if i should buy him some condoms and other stuff like a masturbation and sex book or ...
A. 11 February 2008: I think the book would be ok but nothing beyond that. I don't understand why he would need condoms for masturbation.
Also are you using his account to ask this because according to the information about you, you are a 13-15 year old male!... (read in full...)
Am I making a mistake leaveing my abusive girlfriend??
Q. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, 6 months of that we have been living together. I met her when I arrived in Australia and quickly became good friends. After two months of dating I was offered a good job in a different state wh...
A. 25 January 2008: You shouldn't feel guilty about anything. She chose to move in with you, she chose to take out her frustrations on you, and worst of all she chose to hit you. That last choice is unacceptable. As soon as she did that you should have called the ... (read in full...)
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