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| | Salad_Barbarian's profile:Hi. I guess I should say something about myself. First up I'm Christian, I live on the south side of Chicago, and I'm 26 years old. I'm also single, childfree, and a virgin. As for qualifications I don't really have any. I'm just a good listener who people have been coming to for advice for a while now.
Don't have much of a clue as to what makes me tick. Every time I try to figure it out I get attacked by little blue men with fish.
Seriously however, I just want to help some people. If you want to know more about me feel free to ask. I aslo have a Live Journal if you want to check that out.www: salad-barbarian.livejournal.com |
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First man ever to not want oral sex! Why?
Q. I'm obsessing over this the whole day. I am in my early 30's, and by all accounts a skilled lover, so when I was with a man last night with whom I had been intimate with before and with whom we had simply amazing, mind blowing and most intimate lo...
A. 8 September 2009: He may consider oral sex to be dirty or degrading. So in his mind it is not something that a "proper" woman should be doing.
Or maybe as PAN said he might have had a bad experience. The phrase once bitten twice shy comes to mind.... (read in full...)
Do you know any married men that have managed to stay faithful?
Q. Do you all know of any married guys who are faithful?...
A. 25 August 2009: I know my dad has been faithful. Beyond him I don't really know any married men.... (read in full...)
23 year old son wants to meet with a girl he met online. Is it safe?
Q. Our 23 year old son lives with us, and he's in university doing a 4-year business course - it got delayed for financial reasons. He's doing well academically. However, he told us yesterday he wants to meet this girl he met online - he got talk...
A. 23 August 2009: I think it's probably safe. But he should be told that there are precautions that he (or anyone looking to meet someone from online) should take.
1) Meet in a public place.
2) For the first meeting don't go anywhere that the two of you can't... (read in full...)
What is your meaning of life?
Q. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I thought maybe reading other people's raison d'etre might help me figure my own. So does anyone here know why you exist?...
A. 19 July 2009: Thank you all for your answers. They gave me a lot to think about.... (read in full...)
I am really wet but I feel that this isn't normal
Q. it might sound horrible but i'm feling wet alot down below, i have had 2 children 1 c section 9 years ago and 1 natural birth 2 years ago. i do not feel normal when me and my partner have sex he says it feels great still but i worry is this normal ...
A. 24 April 2009: If you don't think something is right with your body then you should see a doctor. Even if it turns out that nothing is wrong you'll likely feel better knowing that for sure.... (read in full...)
A question strictly for the men aunts!!!
Q. Okay guys, would you want a straight girl that would have sex with you or a bi girl that would let you have sex with her and her girlfriend?...
A. 5 March 2009: I would want a relationship with only one girl. I would be faithful to her and I would expect her to be faithful to me.... (read in full...)
No sex until marriage? Does anyone believe in that?
Q. do any of you guys believe in NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE?? sorry i kinda messed up in that other question...I meant to say if u guys believe in NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE....DO U THINK IT'S A LOAD OF BULL OR WHAT??...
A. 5 February 2009: I don't think it's bull. I'm saving myself for marriage.
I am not a car or any other thing that could be bought and I don't view women as such either.... (read in full...)
Childless or Childfree? Which is better?
Q. How would you feel? Would you feel "left out" if: -your cousin from your mom's side is married with 3 kids at 21. -two of your cousins from your dad's side has one kid each but not married (actually the other one is living with the girlfri...
A. 18 January 2009: I would feel lucky. I look at it as most of the people in my life getting crushed into paste by a steamroller and I'm being spared.
I'm having trouble finding love too but I'd rather be alone than have a child.... (read in full...)
Husband giving 2 year old beer
Q. My husband keeps giving our 2 year old son a sip of beer. I tell him not to because our son keeps vomiting but he wont listen. Now our son keeps asking me or my husband for beer in his milk. If I dont he'll start crying or all angry. What should I ...
A. 15 January 2009: When I was that age my dad used to give my sips of his beer. I can't say that any problems I have now were caused by that but I doubt it helped. You need to stop this immediately.
Both of my parents are recovering alcoholics and a phrase I heard ... (read in full...)
How do I find direction in my life?
Q. I feel like my life ended a few years ago but I haven't fallen down yet. I have a job in the security field that I sort of like but it doesn't pay much and I don't work often. I still live at home and I've never had a girlfriend. I'm also really ...
A. 3 January 2009: To Kinky Boots- getting more education sounds tempting but I've had some bad experiences that caused my to consider killing my classmates and/or committing suicide.
A few years ago I tried going for a walk every day and it felt good. I don't reme... (read in full...)
What should a female be able to offer in a relationship?
Q. What should a female be able to offer in a relationship?...
A. 16 November 2008: Love, trust, someone to enjoy the good times with, and a shoulder to cry on when the times aren't so good. Friendship that grows day after day. Someone to talk with. All of the things that I as a guy should offer.... (read in full...)
My penis is aroused every morning, is that normal?
Q. Hi. I am 22 year old guy. Every morning when i wake up my penis is erected and really hard. I am a virgin and i masturbate quite often. (daily or once every two days). I masturbate to pornography. I think i dream too much about the pornography,...
A. 2 November 2008: Yes it's normal. I've had that problem several times and it's caused by having to go to the bathroom. After you pee it should return to normal.... (read in full...)
Please help, I cant figure it out... am I being weird?
Q. I'm pregnant, I have been with my boyfriend for a year, he wants me to get rid of it, but I'm against abortion, and have even protested against it, it will go against everything I've stood for, but I am only 17. Should I give up what I stand for ...
A. 27 October 2008: If the cost of keeping this guy is the death of a child then he obviously doesn't love you very much.
There is also the fact that he wants you to violate a part of yourself. If he gets his way this time with a issue that you believe is so impor... (read in full...)
Hypothetically speaking: should I have my baby boy circumsized?
Q. hypathetically speaking, if i were 5 months pregnant, and just found out i was having a boy... Would it be smarter to get him circumsized and why??? if i dont curcumsize him now, can he get it done later in life if he wanted to?...
A. 27 October 2008: I would advise against circumcision. Some people might say that it's just a bit of useless flesh being removed. I see it as the mutilation of a child. A babies toenails don't do it much good but no one in their right mind would suggest removing ... (read in full...)
I need some guys opinions...would you guys care if a girl had scars on her breasts from reduction surgery?
Q. A few years back I had a breast reduction surgery...and while I am more comfortable in my clothes I must say that I'm not so comfortable outside my clothes...the surgery has left me with scars and one of my nipples is a different shape than the ...
A. 7 October 2008: Personally it wouldn't be a turnoff for me. I don't think it would stop most guys from wanting sex with you.
I would want to know about it beforehand because if you can't confide something simple like that to me then why would you give yourself... (read in full...)
What makes a woman marriage material?
Q. I just wanted to know what makes a woman marriage material...what do guys really look for when the want to marry a woman....would a guy marry a woman who was promiscuos in her past if she had changed???...
A. 30 September 2008: I would have to really believe she was no longer promiscuous before I would consider her. I would worry less about her past and more about our future. Could she commit to just being with me? Would she always feel attracted to me or would she spend ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 25 September 2008: I'm a motivational speaker and I live in a van down by the river!
Seriously though I'm a 25 year old convention security guard.... (read in full...)
Guys- If a woman who looked like a porn star propositioned you for sex, could you say no?
Q. If a girl who looked like a porn star propositioned you for sex, would you agree? Like if she looked like Briana Banks, a young Pamela Anderson, Jenna Jameson, or Jesse Jane? I was just wondering because I heard that my boyfriend was at a party a...
A. 13 September 2008: I don't care what a woman looks like, I am saving myself for marriage. Most of the porn stars I've seen don't look good to me anyway.
I don't know your boyfriend so I can't answer for him but he may have not told you about her because 1) Nothing ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want kids - EVER!
Q. I'm only 20 years old and I don't plan on having children any time soon as I want a career and to focus on myself for the next ten or fifteen years. I'm getting married to an old friend who I've cared very much about for years now and we tragical...
A. 8 September 2008: I'm going to be harsh here and hope it wakes you up.
There is only one person in this relationship who needs to grow up and it's you. "Going along" with not wanting kids while secretly hoping for them is like "going along" with being faithful... (read in full...)
My partner wishes that we have children in 2-5 years, but I really just cannot see myself as a good mother. What are some positive aspects about it? Will I be able to adapt to motherhood?
Q. I had a terrifying conversation with my fiance the other day: Children. For a long time, I have been somewhat opposed to becoming a mother. I am a very seclusive person. I need personal space and me time in order to keep sane. I cannot even begi...
A. 3 September 2008: It's always possible you could change. But would you want to test that by having a child? The only way to be sure is to have a baby. The problem is if your not cut out to be a mom you're stuck with another person who relies on you completely.
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants kids but I don't, as I already have 2. I'm afraid she will leave me as warned.
Q. I am a divorced father of two children, 11 and 9 years old. My current girlfriend has never been married and would like to have children. She has pretty much given me an ultimatum, "have another child with me or our relationship is over." Quite ...
A. 27 August 2008: It sounds like she sees you as nothing more than a sperm donor. If the only reason she is with you is so she can have children then she can't really love you. It would be best to end this now so you can find someone who will love you for you and not ... (read in full...)
He confessed that he got me pregnant on purpose and lied that he couldn't have kids ~ because he wanted us to stay together.
Q. Hello...I've been seeing a guy for about 3months. I was falling in love with him. He came at the right time in my life when i was ready for a real relationship. He was married for 7yrs and told me he couldn't have kids. He pressured me for sex ...
A. 6 August 2008: You could put the child up for adoption. You choice isn't limited to marry him or raise the baby on your own.
If it were me I wouldn't want this guy anywhere near me let alone in a position to influence a child's development.
No matter wha... (read in full...)
Can you lose your virginity masturbating?
Q. I only have this question, does masturbation take your virginity?...
A. 5 August 2008: Do you mean can you break your hymen? I think it can be broken through masturbation, but I'm not sure.
Other than that it takes having sex with at least one person to lose your virginity.... (read in full...)
Would anyone die for someone who didn't love you back?
Q. Okay, some people or many would die for someone who they really truely love and the person would love them back aswell.. but what if you love someone but they didn’t you back… Would you still die for them ’cause you love them? Your opinons… :...
A. 3 August 2008: If laying down my life would save another person I would even if I didn't know them. It wouldn't matter to me if I loved them or if they loved me. I have a very strong faith in God so I'm not afraid death. ... (read in full...)
Help wanted: extra agony aunts/uncles required
Q. I've been a member of this site for a while now, and from what I've seen here, I can conclude almost every agony aunt/uncle here is a good person: someone who likes to help out, to dish out wisdom by the barrel. I have thoroughly enjoyed adding to ...
A. 23 July 2008: When I'm deciding whether to answer a question or not I "filter" it through questions of my own.
1. Is this a question I can answer?
(Sometimes an answer requires either being a female or previous experience in a certain situation.) ... (read in full...)
Quiz on guys!
Q. I have couple of fun questions on you GUYS !!! 1. Why do guys loose intrest in kissing after couple of months of dating? It seems to me, that first you are all into it, beeing kissed and such, and than, you just loose intrested and its more lik...
A. 12 July 2008: 1) No idea, no woman has ever even wanted to kiss me once.
2) If you mean just dating I have no problem with how many people a person has dated. It shouldn't matter. If you mean sex, I'm saving myself for marriage and I expect any woman I date to ... (read in full...)
Is anybody NOT cheating?
Q. Does anyone know TRUTHFULLY of any couples who have never cheated on their partners of say over 5 years in a relationship. I despair all my friends are saying their partners are cheating not jsut the men women too. Is anyone faithful these days ...
A. 11 July 2008: My parents have been together for over 25 years and neither has ever cheated. I could mention several other couples but I don't know them as well.... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm too old for all the men out there!
Q. i keep reading that men prefer younger women and this is starting to panic me as we're all getting older and i haven't yet met the man of my dreams! I'm worried it'll get too late. At which age do women lose their appeal to men?...
A. 5 July 2008: For me too old is about 7 years older than I am. So 30 isn't too old as far as I'm concerned.... (read in full...)
Would having oral sex mean I would be losing my vriginty?
Q. my boyfriend and i want to have oral sex.but i don't want to lose my virginity. so my question is can i lose my virginity if i have oral sex?...
A. 27 June 2008: To NL: she only said that she was a virgin. I don't know that the boyfriend is too so I mentioned condoms just in case.... (read in full...)
Would having oral sex mean I would be losing my vriginty?
Q. my boyfriend and i want to have oral sex.but i don't want to lose my virginity. so my question is can i lose my virginity if i have oral sex?...
A. 26 June 2008: Oral sex is sex and if you do it your virginity will be lost.
Also STDs can be transmitted through that sort of contact so be sure he wares a condom if you do it.... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to either gender. Is something wrong with me?
Q. hi, well here it is plain and simple. I am not attracted to girls or guys. i am disgusted when it comes to sexual relationships and things like that. i find the human body, of both males and females, to be beautiful, but i am in no way attracted to ...
A. 26 June 2008: There is nothing wrong with you. As Frank B Kermit said you are asexual.
You are not alone.... (read in full...)
Sex Burgers - or people?
Q. Which of you out there feel the same as me. In an ideal world which would make me so happy it would be like this: Women would be celebrated for who they are in equal measure, whether it be because they were clever, great Mums, leaders, spo...
A. 11 June 2008: I feel the same except that my ideal world would have the addition of:
Men wouldn't be seen as Neanderthals. They would be seen as intelligent and emotional individuals.
A man's worth would no longer be measured by the number of women he had ... (read in full...)
His father won't let him use the phone to talk to me. What can I do?
Q. Me and my bf have been in a long distance relationship for about a year.Just recently his father decided he doesn't like me and punished my boyfriend off the phone with ME for 2 YEARS. This made me so mad. My boyfriend still sneaks and calls only ...
A. 11 June 2008: You could try sending each other letters or emails. I know it's not the same as hearing the other persons' voice but it is a way to express your feelings to one another. Plus letters can be saved and reread whenever you want.... (read in full...)
Are oral sex and anal sex classed as "real" sex?
Q. is oral sex and anal sex classed as sex? some of my friends think that a blowjob or anal is no different than kissing someone,but i dissagree i think that they are different types of sex but when i tell my friends they laugh at me and call me an ...
A. 26 May 2008: Your friends are the idiots. Oral SEX and anal SEX are sex!
I could give a more detailed answer but to me it's like if some people clamed that cars ran on jello or rubber is made of bird's feet. That the obvious needs defending depresses me.
I... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for wanting to sleep with him before marriage?
Q. Hi, i would like some advice.Im a 25 year old catholic virgin and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now-we are both in love and plan to marry.I have always wanted to wait i was married before having sex and my boyfriend is so loving and unde...
A. 21 May 2008: Temptation is a natural part of life so you shouldn't feel guilty. Just remember that God would never allow you to be tempted beyond your ability to resist.... (read in full...)
Does having a child bring you closer to your partner?
Q. if you hav a child from your partner do you become closer....
A. 21 May 2008: Having a child is like going through a natural disaster. If your relationship can survive it, you both will be closer than before. But many relationships don't make it and if that happens then you would end up a single mother. Children are not a way ... (read in full...)
Pubic Hairstyles: A vote for all guys!
Q. Okay I want to hear a vote from all of the guys! (Please tell me your age too) What would you prefer your gf to do with her pubes? a) Shave it all off b) Trim it c) Leave it hairy d) Do a hairstyle (eg. hearts, stars, arrows, w/e) ...
A. 21 May 2008: I'm 25 and I'd prefer it left alone.
PeterPan makes a good point in regards to oral sex but each woman is different and I would rather see it before saying if I think it should be trimed.... (read in full...)
The man I met online made me feel like a princess. Now he wants to take things a bit slower. Should I be worried?
Q. I was married for 16 years to a man who in general treated me well but ultimately chose to cheat on me throughout the marriage. We are divorced now. I went on a dating site and met a man who was very intersted in me. Everything happened very fast ...
A. 18 May 2008: Deema mentioned a book called "The Rules" I have also heard similar advice in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Sometimes men after getting involved with someone need some time to step back and reasert their individualality. Once this is ... (read in full...)
Men, did you ever pressure a girl into sex when you were in your teens?
Q. This question is for the older male uncles and visitors here. When you were in your teens, did you pressure any girls for sex or sexual activity? And if so, how do you feel about that now? Do you regret it or was it just part of growing up? T...
A. 16 May 2008: I'm not sure how much older you're looking for since I'm only 25 but I've never and would never pressure a woman to have sex. ... (read in full...)
Is it just me or is anyone else feeling concerned about the amount of unfaithfulness goin on here?
Q. Is it just me or is anyone else getting scared as hell of the amount of unfaithful married couples goin on here? This makes me super frightened to be married! Dosnt anyone believe in a commitment these days? No wonder the divorce rate is sky high, ...
A. 13 May 2008: I don't think cheating is as prevalent as this site makes it seem. If I were to go by this site I would think that all spouses cheat, all students want to have sex with their teachers, and men and women beating each other is the norm. People only ... (read in full...)
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