New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

*iot2017

Mexico  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *iot2017 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *iot2017 a private message

*iot2017's Ratings
Excellent76%
Average8%
Poor17%
< Prev1234567Next > [7 pages, 220 answers]

I'm having trouble putting an affair partner behind me

Q.   Hello everyone reading. About nine months ago me and a married man whom I had a two year emotional affair with ended completely with a mutual understanding that we could never have a relationship due to the mess we created in his life. When it ...

A.   7 September 2017: GO TO THERAPY, NOW! If you don't work on yourself, you won't be able to move on with your life. You don't need to ask for forgiveness or anything: you don't have ALL THE FAULT on this... your former partner SHARES GUILT WITH YOU. ESTABLIS... (read in full...)

Should I be honest about kissing my friend, or leave it in the past?

Q.   I can't tell if I'm over reacting about this situation and I'd really appreciate some insight. Here's a bit of a back story... Late '16, early '17 I met this guy and we really liked one another to the point where we started developing a sem...

A.   6 September 2017: DON'T TELL HIM. While you were apart , and out of a relationship, you are allowed to do with your life as you please. You should not be telling him every single detail of what you did. Yes, if you had sex, that could be important. But if it was ... (read in full...)

Am I just hoping for the best and not wanting to accept reality?

Q.   Just in a new relationship and he's moved back home to the south of our country (about 200 miles from me). We decided to just see how things go and he definitely asked me to be his. However, he hardly calls. If he does, It has to be before ...

A.   6 September 2017: Yes, LDR relationships are HARD AS HELL, and talking 30 minutes a day it's not too long, but not too little though. If you don't see him that interested into you, and not telling anyone about you, it could be red flags in there. If you don't SEE ... (read in full...)

She suggested a holiday but then didn't raise the topic. She finally said it was too expensive, is this a sign of problems ahead?

Q.   My girlfriend suggested we go away a few months ago on a specific date. Since then, shes never raised it - but I have on numerous occasions, offering to book things, asking if she was still interested, or even not wanting to go, and all the time she ...

A.   6 September 2017: YOU HAVE IT WRONG. That's a sign that she is a girl, and she can change her mind from one day to another. It's not generalization or anything: it's how things work. I can't tell you how many times this has happened with my GF, and with th... (read in full...)

I'm starting to overanalyze again, I'm afraid of self sabatoge in my relationship?

Q.   Due to me making the wrong choices w/the types of guys I date, I always have doubt of his interest in the back of my mind. My bf came from vacation and I have asked to see him. Before anyone tears me into pieces about him being tired, overwhelmed ...

A.   6 September 2017: You are completely over-analyzing. After a hard day of work, people usually are very tired for doing anything else, so if he fakes his enthusiasm, don't worry. He does wants to see you, he is just too tired, but he is willing to make the sacrifice ... (read in full...)

How do I explain my decision to skip the reunion without bad mouthing the Dean?

Q.   When I was in high school (a Catholic school), the Dean of Men was one of the worst people I ever known. He played favorites (if you were one of his favorites, you would never be in trouble no matter what you did but if you were not his favorite, ...

A.   5 September 2017: You could say you have an important trip to make that day, or find a good excuse for not being that day in there. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother is a bully

Q.   At my bf’s family get-togethers, my bf’s mother would rudely tell her husband Tom to shut up if one or two words came out of his mouth. Tom is her 2nd husband and not the father of her children. I was aghast at her treatment of Tom. I think I am the ...

A.   5 September 2017: Hello OP, It's quite clear and evident that your BF's mother is a TOXIC PERSON, and that's why Tom is always getting the short end of the stick. Your BF is so into that toxic environment, that he sees it normal. What you can do, is talk with Tom... (read in full...)

How do I move on and trust him? Or is he not trust worthy?

Q.   I have a big trust issue regarding my boyfriend and his ex. When my boyfriend and I first dated, he broke up with his ex to be with me, but he never told her about me because she has a really bad temper and she was still trying to get back with him. ...

A.   5 September 2017: O.o OP, your man is not over his ex, plus his ex is very manipulative. You need to catch him and get solid evidence that she is talking with her, so that you can make a better decision. If you need to spy him on that, which is creepy and all th... (read in full...)

At what point am I allowed to ask to be friends with an ex?

Q.   I broke up with a long distance boyfriend I had for 1 1/2 years about one month ago. The distance wasn't going to change and I was going through a difficult emotional time where I needed him to if not physically be there for me, emotionally be there ...

A.   5 September 2017: He has said that we can be friends eventually but what does eventually mean? OP, many couples that break up says that in order not to hurt the other persons feelings. It's like saying "You can't have the entire cake, but here, take this cookie".... (read in full...)

Should I expect a solid promise or allow things to work out on their own?

Q.   Hi guys! I am back again with another question. Some back info: I was with my now ex for 6 years. I just turned 25 and he will be 25 in a few months. After being in the same city for about 3 years, then a few long distance moments (lasting...

A.   5 September 2017: It's hard to keep promises that long, but not impossible. Also, it doesn't depends to him if he gets a job in your city, it depends on the employers and the economy at that moment when he graduates. However, if a guy is really, really 100% sure... (read in full...)

We're on an experimental break for two weeks given the LDR and my gf seems fine but I'm miserable and paranoid that I'm going to lose her

Q.   Sorry for asking again so soon, I just have nobody to talk to anymore and my problems are bothering me a bit. My life's in a focal point right now and I need blunt non friend and family advice.Thanks. Long story short my Girlfriend for over 1 and a ...

A.   5 September 2017: "Is this normal?" YES. I have been 10 years with my GF, with very long LDR patches that are VERY PAINFUL, and you get very anxious specially if your girlfriend is gorgeous and haves a crowd of men stalking/courting her. "I'm so so scared ... (read in full...)

My married male co-worker alternates between friendly and cold

Q.   I want to ask for help and I hope I can write this to get advice and not judgement as in my heart I don't plan to sin. I work as a nurse and I just started at a new hospital. On my team is another male nurse that work with that is married. Since I ...

A.   4 September 2017: Hello OP, Could he be having a kind of (undiagnosed) bipolar disorder? I've meet girls like him, that one day they are euphoric and laugh and everything, and the other one they want to kill you or kill themselves. It's a serious mental health is... (read in full...)

Is this woman's behaviour a red flag?

Q.   Well been seeing this woman for about seven months,been staying at her house the whole time, I do own my own house, my daughter and granddaughter live there, my house, I don't know what to do we get along good most of the time, but she snaps at...

A.   4 September 2017: Listen, 7 months is a very short time to know really well someone. Crazy girls don't show their true colors right away. They are shy and hide their craziness until you are so hooked up with them that you can't leave them. I can't tell if she ... (read in full...)

I'm made to feel like a social pariah because I've chosen not to have children

Q.   Dear all, I am a 37 year old woman with a great job and an even greater husband. I have my own house, I travel a lot and I love my life. I live and work in a ver small and narrow-minded community which makes me feel like a pariah because I don't ...

A.   4 September 2017: Am I weird? HELL NO! Is there something wrong with it? NO! Are they right? Both sides have some part of the truth. But those guys shouldn't be shaming you and doing peer preasure to have kids ¬¬'. Will I regret it when I'm older? Onl... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to ask for a date from him of when he will abandon the search for the dream and work to support our everyday?

Q.   Am I being too negative to consider a possible and positive future? Or is my gut's screaming correct? My boyfriend and I were recently laid off from our job, we're still working but our last day is approaching and then we will receive our ...

A.   31 August 2017: 1. Is it wrong to ask for a date from him of when he will abandon the search for the dream and work to support our everyday? NO, IT'S NOT WRONG. You are carrying the whole financial burden, and it's very hard for you alone to carry the whole bu... (read in full...)

Was this a missed financial opportunity and should I have consulted with my boyfriend?

Q.   I'd like opinions from everyone about communication and responsibility within a relationship. To briefly summarize, my boyfriend and I live in my childhood home. We get by w/ our jobs and friends/tenants helping out on the monthly expenses. B/c my ...

A.   31 August 2017: 1, should I have spoken w/ my bf about this? When you are in a relationship, most of the time, decisions should be taken as a couple. While you skipped his opinion this time, it was good that you didn't consulted about this, because he would ha... (read in full...)

I can't get over a guy I dated for a month?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. I still have feelings for an ex that I was only with for one month and it's really troubling me. He wasn't my first boyfriend, and it wasn't my longest relationship, but I've never felt this way before. We had a lovely ...

A.   31 August 2017: If a guy dumps you like that after 1 month, either he saw a big flaw in you that was a deal breaker, or like he mentions, he is not really sure about you and what he feels about you. It's likely that he is just as in love as you are towards him,... (read in full...)

Why would a man still hang onto his girlfriend even if he is cheating with other women?

Q.   If a guy is cheating on his girlfriend, why would he not leave her? He obviously is not the right man for her. So, why not just leave her, let her find a better man for her, instead of hang onto her knowing he is hurting her? Clearly a rel...

A.   31 August 2017: Simple. Some men can compartmentalize sex and emotions. With one woman, they get their emotional needs met, you could say they "love" those woman, but perhaps the sex is not great. The guys who cheat their girlfriends, they have the need for thri... (read in full...)

How many chances do I give my daughter's father when all he does is hurt her?

Q.   How many chances should I give my ex to be a father when all he does is hurt our daughter! We had our daughter (now 7) when we were 18. He made it clear to me he wasn't happy about having a child and that is what caused us to break up. He the...

A.   31 August 2017: Hello OP. Kids are VERY SMART, and yes, she will feel upset from time to time, when she realizes that her father doesn't loves her. You can't completely block his father out of her life: that's not good for her. You are doing things right by sp... (read in full...)

Why are people so impersonal? My friends don't care

Q.   Is it ok to only see friends every 2-12 months? Have only 5 "friends" who are well liked in their job, busy,work, (I work too!!) one is married with kids, they all have better friends, family neaby, and a good life so only have time for coffee o...

A.   31 August 2017: Hello OP, What you are experiencing now is very normal for people our age (I'm 32). Yes, social media has something to do: people are loosing that good ol' hanging out in person and by telephone. We live in a very different world, where frie... (read in full...)

Why does my married lover not admit how he feels about me? And keeps changing his words?

Q.   Can anyone here help me to make sense of my married lover's words? Why did he tell me he loves me? Then the next time he says he likes me. Then he says he likes me a lot. Then the next time he says he adores me. And the next time after that, it's...

A.   31 August 2017: Perhaps he is just telling you what you want to hear, to keep you lured in. If he is switching his words, it could also mean that he is not sure what you mean for him. When a man has a lover, is generally because sex at home is not good,... (read in full...)

Why 2 days later does my husband go off on me about something I said while drunk?

Q.   I got too drunk on Saturday night - it happens only occasionally. I said something embarassing about my husband to his friend (who was also too drunk to remember). My husband brought it up - but told me it is ok - his friend probably didn't hear and ...

A.   29 August 2017: I honestly think he is overreacting. People make mistakes all the time, and his friend was also drunk, so who cares? It could be possible that he felt ashamed by you comments, and you could have embarrassed him in front of your friend. I persona... (read in full...)

How can my boyfriend have all these text messages to other women? I feel like I'm on another planet

Q.   Im just so upset and not sure what to do. My partner and I have been together now for 6 years, it has been a struggle as after the first 8 months of us being together he slept with someone else. I managed to forgive him for this and after time and ...

A.   29 August 2017: Why are you still with this guy? He is clearly cheating on you shamelessly. It's not Ok to go on a date while being on a committed relationship. What would happen if you suddenly started getting messages from a guy, saying he loves you and th... (read in full...)

Married 11 years and my husband is now wanting details of my sexual life before him.

Q.   Hello i'm a 37 yo woman and me and my husbant are together now for 11 years. Everything started when i met him 18 years ago and i fell in love with his misterious eyes. We became friends and eventually a few years later i got my nerves together and ...

A.   29 August 2017: YOU CAN'T HELP HIM BY YOURSELF. You both need to go to couples therapy. The problem, as as I see it, is that your husband is drowning in jealousy over your past. He doesn't seems to understand or have empathy on your reasons why you did what... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if my b/f is into men. What are some signs to look for?

Q.   What are some of the signs that a guy is gay or likes men on the down low? I caught my bfs watching shemale porn. I looked into it and found the mostly straight guys watch that type of porn. He also has a friend who is gay, he said that he didn't ...

A.   28 August 2017:  RED FLAG #1: "Shemale Porn", NO, Shemale porn is not something that straight men see. It's stuff that BI and GAY dudes do. RED FLAG #2: Hiding not knowing his GAY friend was GAY. This means that he is hiding something. BIG RED FLAG #3: ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend dumped me but when I date someone new he wants me back again

Q.   So I've been dating this guy for a month but I've been starting to have dreams about my ex who I dated for a year and a half, he was a guy i could never forget but he dumped me but he keeps trying to get back together all the time and when I'm with ...

A.   28 August 2017: ESTABLISH A NO-CONTACT POLICY. STOP TALKING WITH YOUR EX. NO EMAILS, NO FACEBOOK, NO CALLS, NO SNAPCHATS, NO TEXT MESSAGES, NOTHING. You need to get over him, and he needs to get over you. It seems like he wants to sabotage your relationshi... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to be more tactile!

Q.   I am just back from a lovely weekend with my bf of 45 of one year. Things have been strained as he has joint custody of two pre-teen children and he works away twice a week plus there is 50 miles between us. There is no drama with his ex or ...

A.   28 August 2017: Why don't you try couples therapy? It seems your emotional needs are not being met. If your man is your same age, it will be very hard for him to change. What you can do too, is make agreements. Whenever you feel the need to cuddle or being t... (read in full...)

I'm starting to feel like men don't think of women as anything other than meat

Q.   I'm really looking for advice on how I can come can better accept things in life and see a more positive side . I'm finding my life experience is that the men I have known have seemed exceedingly caught up in women's appearances and only concerned ...

A.   28 August 2017: Hello OP. I honestly think you are generalizing. Not all men are that way, although there are a LOT of guys out there that are just like you just described. I personally have met very materialistic woman my whole life, starting from my sis... (read in full...)

I want my LDR boyfriend to tell his parents about me before we go any further.

Q.   So I'm in this DLR with a guy I've known about 7 months. When he was last up, things got heated and we both pleased each other using our hands which was fine. I'm a virgin and he knows this. He also knows he's the first guy I've really done anyt...

A.   28 August 2017: You are not being silly, you need to feel safer being in a relationship with him. If he does not tell his parents, means that he is not serious about you. On my case, I took 2 years to tell my parents about my GF because I have toxic parents,... (read in full...)

My LDR says we are just prolonging the inevitable end.

Q.   I have been in an LDR for 8 years, and in that 8 years, we have only been physically together for a total time of 3 months on 4 occasions. The rest of the time has been spent talking almost daily on video skype and various chat apps. In recent...

A.   28 August 2017: OP, Sorry to bring this down to you, but this man does not love you, and it's likely dating someone else. The fact that he stopped you when you wanted to visit him, means that he does not want to see who he is dating, and also the fact that he... (read in full...)

I'm craving attention and wishing for a double life

Q.   Before you read this. Please try not to pass judgement. I know it may be difficult for some of you and you may not understand the way I am feeling. To be honest I would pass judgement on people like me before I actually felt this way. I have be...

A.   28 August 2017: You need to go to therapy, and if possible, go to couples therapy with your boyfriend. He needs to learn how to express more his love to him, and you need to learn to control those urges for attention an sex. Being in a monogamous relation... (read in full...)

Am I meant to be alone? I just don't understand why

Q.   I am a 47 r old female. Divorced since 2012 and I have not one friend in this world... honest to GOD! I have been on a dating site and have found 2 guys that I have dated. One was a jackass and his free time was always consumed but never with me. ...

A.   28 August 2017: It's because as we age, our charm points and attractiveness wither, and people nowadays only look at your appearance. I think you should join an art club, a sport, or volunteer, and you will be able to meet people your age that are single a... (read in full...)

I found out my wife was cheating on me. I feel turned on and am confused about my feelings

Q.   I saw my wife cheating on me with a guy but I found it a turn-on. We’ve been married for ten years and have two daughters. We’re both 35 and have jobs. Two days ago I got home early from work because I had a doubt that my wife was cheating ...

A.   28 August 2017: I think you should confront her. Go to couples therapy, or cut things. What would happen if she caught you cheating? She would probably leave you on the street. So you can either cheat on her too, move on with a non-cheating woman, or forgiv... (read in full...)

I am getting cold feet about my LDR moving in.

Q.   My LDR boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. We will be moving in together by the end of this year. He will be packing his bags and moving across the country to live with me and my two teenage children. I'm having second thoughts...

A.   28 August 2017: He is moving with you and giving up his life just for you, because he loves you. The worst think you can make with him at this moment is cut him off. You need to ask him if that's what he really wants to do and all that. Sit together. This man ... (read in full...)

I've been engaged forever but not married. Why?

Q.   I’m in a 3 and a half years relationship with my now fiancé, who I met when he was stationed in the same country where I was working. We have been through many ups and downs in our relationship but we seem to be more stable now than we used to. His ...

A.   28 August 2017: Dear OP, Like you mention, he has all the time of the world to get married, but you don't have that much time if you want kids. Tell him that you want a courthouse marriage, NOW, and that you can't wait 1 more year in the limbo, or wait 2 more ... (read in full...)

What is your interpretation when a guy says that you are what he needs in a relationship, but he is scared that he is not what you need?

Q.   What is your interpretation when a guy says that you are what he needs in a relationship, but he is scared that he is not what you need? His interpretation of need is that the girl is stable, respectable and knows what she wants in life and how to ...

A.   26 August 2017: "He didn't want a relationship with me, yet he keeps me as a friend on Facebook? Why bother?" Being someone's "friend" on Facebook means nothing, really. My sister has BAZILLION "friends" on Facebook, and she is one of the loneliest girl I know with... (read in full...)

I'm shocked at being ghosted by him! How did you get over a situation like this? Advice?

Q.   Hello everyone After 3.5 years of a LTR, my ex dumped me over the phone because he said it would be easier and that his mind was made up. He said he didn't want to see me upset or risk going back on his decision. The only thing he kept saying w...

A.   26 August 2017: Hello OP! Here are my opinions of what may be going on: - He started dating someone else and decided to end things with you - LDR relationships are SO VERY HARD to maintain. Traveling from one place to another can sometimes be prohibitively ex... (read in full...)

How do I bring some excitement into my dull and boring life?

Q.   How do I get over getting lost and bored all the time? I'm 18 and about to go out to university and I just feel so bored with my life. I have no source of excitement except going to university and my life's just becoming really routine: get up,...

A.   25 August 2017: Hello OP, For most adults, the kind of life you are describing is how it is every day of their lives, dull and unexciting. However, they haven't realized that the key for excitement is at their own hands. You don't need to wait for someon... (read in full...)

My ex is contacting me again, what should I do?

Q.   My ex and I had a messy break up. I got drunk, was upset and got into some trouble and ended up in hospital. I called my ex and left a message to say I was in hospital. She never came and I never heard from her. I ended up needing surgery. Year...

A.   25 August 2017: "What should I do? Should I let her back in my life?" F*CK NO! Here is the reason: WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN, YOU SEE EVERYBODY'S TRUE COLORS. Her not even visiting you for YEARS, means that she has no regard or empathy for you. Consider yourse... (read in full...)

I've been engaged forever but not married. Why?

Q.   I’m in a 3 and a half years relationship with my now fiancé, who I met when he was stationed in the same country where I was working. We have been through many ups and downs in our relationship but we seem to be more stable now than we used to. His ...

A.   25 August 2017: Hello OP. You need to seat down with your man, and talk this through, no excuses, no interruptions, no BUTs, no anything. You both need to talk about what the the near future is going to be for both of you. Yes, you are his fiance, but you can'... (read in full...)

Password to his personal account. Is it okay to share or not?

Q.   My bf and I have been together for 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship he broke trust a few times, nothing major but enough for me to lose some. The Main reason was about his ex. He got upset that I had my ex phone number still stored in ...

A.   25 August 2017: WHY DON'T YOU BOTH MAKE A COMPROMISE? Ok, he can't give you the password, BUT, why doesn't he allows you to check online the status of that account, so that you can check if there is nothing fishy in there? To me, it sounds like if he is hiding s... (read in full...)

*iot2017's friends

These are mutual friends, so *iot2017 has added them and they have added *iot2017!

mystiquek agony auntmystiquek

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.109357799999998!