Like what
he writes?
... Add *ichard_EMids to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ichard_EMids a private message | | | *ichard_EMids's profile:Hi - I'm Richard.
Good to meet you. I live in the East Midlands of England, just in case you thought my surname was EMids!
I have had a wide range of life experiences - from ecstasy to tragedy. Like anyone who finds this site, I have had some ups and downs on the relationship front, despite being a "decent guy." Single or relationship status, they both have their merits. Neither is better, they are just different. I have two fantastic children sorry, fantastic teenagers. Life-loving, sensible and well mannered.
I'm into many different outdoor activities. Also reading, travel, biking and learning. I play badminton and go the gym. I like history in it's widest sense.
I had a 30 year career in management until the accountants and lawyers cut all the fun out. I work part time now which allows me to do all sorts of other things with my life. I am the same age as the number of cards in a pack. All of them....... Clubs, Hearts, Diamonds, and Spades (in that order).
I'm happy to try and help anybody solve their own problems by stimulating their thoughts, providing perspective or simply passing on some practical suggestions.
(where do I put my favourite car/ favourite film/ most unusual place.....)
AMENDMENT: Could you please change it from teenagers to young adults and add the word 'beautiful.' Thanks. |
|
My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent
Q. My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent. I have always been faithful to my wife, but we have on a few occasions attended swingers parties and through them hooked up and had sex with other couples. We have been married fou...
A. 15 December 2007: Hey - glad you were able to work it out.
Richard... (read in full...)
Help! I'm going "Password" crazy! How can I remember them all!
Q. Can everybody please help me on this one? Everybody. I have so many different passwords and PINs. Mobile phones, PC access, websites, bank accounts, email, Paypal. I'm way the past the stage of being able to remember them. I thought it a good idea ...
A. 2 December 2007: Err! What is IMBD ?... (read in full...)
How to stop loving an ex?
Q. I have been separated 5 years and divorced 3. He was the love of my life, it wasn't perfect, far from it. Generally we were happy. I thought after 17years I would grow old with him. Infidelity (His) became an issue, not once, not twice but the la...
A. 2 December 2007: Hi Cassandra - I know exactly what you mean. Fortunately I think I have got over this myself. You do it by introducing more into you life. You haven't said much more about yourself so I 'll leave it at that.
Good luck
Richard
... (read in full...)
What is my ex's game??
Q. Hi, I am feeling rather low today. Basically my story is this. I met my ex almost 2 years ago now, we chatted and got to know each other then dated for a few months and I fell absolutely head over heels for him within a few weeks, especial...
A. 2 December 2007: Hmmm. I can't be 100% sure but my theory is that sub consciously he likes to know that he is still "wanted" and that he has a "power" to do as he wants or to control. He does it for an inner satisfaction.
If you want to change this pattern, chan... (read in full...)
How can this txt have been a joke??
Q. I have known my wife for 21 years and been married for 17. She is my life, our love was the most passionate thing ever, we were best friends and always expressed our love. About a year ago I noticed a change in her, she would not cuddle me or kiss ...
A. 1 December 2007: Hi. I'm sending his late Saturday night. I saw your update. I expect you have had a terrible time. It doesn't help you having a broken foot. How did you do that?
Back to your situation, as dearkelja says, there are people on this site, similar age,... (read in full...)
Should I back out??
Q. My boyfriend decided to go back to his ex as they have a child, but his ex doesn't want him back do I ask him back out or do I leave it? ...
A. 1 December 2007: Definately leave it Frankie. Maintain some dignity for yourself. He made a choice - and so did she. Now you make one as well. If you bend you will find that people walk all over you. Hold your head up and respect yourself.Might be a bit of pain in ... (read in full...)
Myself, my wife and her sister
Q. My wife wants her sister to sleep with us , she said she would love me to make love with her.... we have always been close with each other....
A. 1 December 2007: Red flag. Say Yes to this and you don't know where it will end. Her Dad, her cousin, her grandmother, the cat. Be firm and tell her No. Women just expect too much these days!!!... (read in full...)
How can this txt have been a joke??
Q. I have known my wife for 21 years and been married for 17. She is my life, our love was the most passionate thing ever, we were best friends and always expressed our love. About a year ago I noticed a change in her, she would not cuddle me or kiss ...
A. 1 December 2007: Oh dear - you must be devastated.
This has probably been going on for sometime. She will be way ahead of you, so you need to start acting quick.
No. 1 phone a close friend or family member you can trust. Go and talk it through. Minimise contact ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a man to be 'easy' but not a woman??
Q. I've known this man for 6 months. We went out for a drink one night and I went to his house afterwards. We had sex for the first time. Days after he says a good woman should not follow a man home and have sex on the first night. I am just too ...
A. 1 December 2007: Phone him up and ask him how else were you supposed to get rid of those damn crabs? And put the phone down.
Sorry, just my little joke. But the best reply to this sort of hypocrisy is a through humour - at their expense. Because they are just not... (read in full...)
We just don't seem to have anything in common anymore. Is my relationship over?
Q. I'm trying to find out whether I'll regret ending my relationship (again!). My partner and I split up in February - this year after been seeing each other for just over 4 years although we didn't live together or anything. We each have children from ...
A. 1 December 2007: Hi - from what you say, the love and attraction has gone. Sounds like it's only conscience or politeness or a loyalty holding you together in a relationship. I think this is one of the reasons why people say best to get over one fully before you ... (read in full...)
I can't forgive my husband. Should I contact the "other woman"?
Q. i discovered that my husband had an affair back in the summer, he said it was sex only once and meant nothing, but he took her out to lunch at an expensive restaurnat and contiued phone contact for about a month. he has beg to keep our marriage ...
A. 30 November 2007: Hi. I can understand that you have a feeling of being lied to by your husband. And a feeling that you want to expose him for the lies he is telling you. He probably is lying, but if you think about it what do you gain by speaking to the other woman. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I'm masturbating "properly" can you help?
Q. When I was young, I literally had no idea 'how' masturbation was 'meant' to be done. I wasn't aware of the conventional method, so perhaps in my naivety I just did what felt good. When masturbating, I would lie on my back and with the palm of my h...
A. 30 November 2007: Hi buddy. Your old masturbation method would not cause any problem or injury or defect. And from what you describe about yourself now everything sounds perfectly OK and normal.
Don't worry you aren't the only one, many boys don't start in the conv... (read in full...)
Help! I'm going "Password" crazy! How can I remember them all!
Q. Can everybody please help me on this one? Everybody. I have so many different passwords and PINs. Mobile phones, PC access, websites, bank accounts, email, Paypal. I'm way the past the stage of being able to remember them. I thought it a good idea ...
A. 30 November 2007: Thanks for replies for everyone. I guess it needs to be "peronality suited" more than "security suited" to be practical.
Richard... (read in full...)
We are getting married, but he's neglecting me in bed, is there hope I can turn this around?
Q. Hello, Well I have a bit of a problem. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and we are going to be married in a few months. When we were first together, he was a sensual and giving lover, and did perform oral sex on me occasionally. But as time ...
A. 30 November 2007: Hmm. Well I would say if the desire is not there - then it's not there!!! It may be him, or it may simply be the chemistry between you. It may also just be a temporary phase, but somehow I don't get the impression it is.
The solution? Before deci... (read in full...)
Do you remain in contact with someone if they were emotionally abusive to you?
Q. When you break up with someone, what should be the rule on how long it is before you talk to them? I always heard at least 3 months. But, do you remain in contact with someone if they were emotionally abusive to you? Or, should you just forgive them ...
A. 30 November 2007: Hey - sorry to hear you are still hurting. That's a good answer from pg issyd, she makes some good suggestions. There is no 3 month rule. If someone has been abusive to you, why have any contact with them? Ever again.
The best advice I can give is "... (read in full...)
Received a "friend add request" on facebook from my EX's potential bf. Why?
Q. Hello everyone. Last time I messaged, I sounded like I was really making progress in healing my heart. The last thing I needed was a step in the wrong direction, and I think it may have just happened at the end of a night that was going very nicel...
A. 30 November 2007: Hey Andy, you have just demonstated why the best policy is "no contact." As soon as you learn any piece of information it sets your mind off and puts your emotions back.
You are as you say, 'connecting a few things.' Probably wrongly. But your mind... (read in full...)
I have a fetish which I am afraid will annoy her: I need her feet to arouse me in any sexual activity.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend on and off for the past few years..I have had a foot fetish for as long as i can remember and i told her about it a few months ago. She didn't mind it, in fact she liked it. But it's a problem because I need her feet ...
A. 29 November 2007: What should you do? ? ? Work in a ladies shoe shop! You'd be so aroused for your girlfriend when you drove home each evening, it would be dangerous for anyone else to be on the roads!!
Seriously though, you are very lucky. Very, very lucky. You ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me?
Q. I have made my life so complicated and am now just waiting for even more pain. I was divorced in april - not my choice and have felt lonely and cry alot. I met someone who was married and as I was lonely and probably selfish enjoyed my times...
A. 29 November 2007: Nothing is wrong with you except you were vulnerable. You are in a dangerous place right now. Start moving away from it. You are heading for a very bad emotional fall unless you take some action now. If you start to move, you will find out what his ... (read in full...)
Is he no longer interested?
Q. I've been married to my high school sweetheart for a little over a year and somehow over the past 6 months have fallen completely in love with my boss who is 12 yrs older. My boss and i are friends and have worked together for almost 3 yrs. Over t...
A. 29 November 2007: Hi. Your boss can foresee how complicated this will get at work for him. Already you get angry when he talks to people he manages. You are about to be unfaithful. You will probably risk his job and yours.
Meanwhile, at home the problem is drif... (read in full...)
He's catholic I'm not, will this create problems later on?
Q. Hi, I'm just wondering what people think about long term relationships between people of different religions? Can it ever work? I'm in a relationship (almost a year and a half) with a lovely guy and we are very much in love and spend all our ti...
A. 29 November 2007: Hey - surely you just to have to go through the obvious topics with him. He knows what's important to him and what isn't. Marriage, contraception, christening, death, anything else?. (I'm not Catholic).
Richard... (read in full...)
Moving in with my fiancee was the biggest mistake of my life...and now I only love her as a friend.
Q. Don't know what to do with the situation that i am in at the moment. Im with my fiancee 2 years, we're engaged about 12 months now, but 6 months ago we decided to buy a house and live together. I feel its the biggest mistake of my life. I dont rea...
A. 29 November 2007: Your question is what should you do. OK -the situation is coming across loud and clear. Don't waste anymore time. Just tell her everything is off. Then jointly decide the practical arrangements for the house.
Good luck
Richard
N.B. If I were you I... (read in full...)
She wants us to have sex every single night and it is wearing me out. How do I stop this crazy train??
Q. I have been dating this girl, and we have been having sex nonstop almost every night since our second date. It’s been three months now, and it’s like every night for an hour or two. I’m not as young as I use to be, and although I love it, the ...
A. 28 November 2007: Hey - this made me laugh. How are you doing it? It doesn't have to be like a marathon, you can have sex sometimes without getting into a sweat or burning calories. VAry it. Buy a book of positions if it's really wearing you out. I expect you're ... (read in full...)
I feel totally betrayed by her moving on so quickly.
Q. Hi everyone, I know I've been droning on about this, but I'm trying to make sense of it in my head and up until now I'm totally unsuccessful. My ex told me she loved me, but due to a bit of stupid drunken self pity, text her 2 days later asking h...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi buddy. We've all got our own way of getting over a break-up. Some break-ups hit some people very very badly sometimes. Your mind is flooded with emotions and thoughts. It's is so painful I know. This is the downside of love. For a period you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was a peeping tom and I am disgusted but we are getting married.
Q. Can you help me...last week i found on a camera a recording of a girl getting dressed in front of a window, my boyfriend had been standing in her garden watching her. He did this about three years before we got together and told me he was depressed ...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi. I can understand you are confused and disgusted. Voyeurism is just another sexual variance. Secret filming indicates his interest is very high. How we judge which sexual practices are OK and which ones aren't tends to be by the effect they have ... (read in full...)
How long will a guy wait for sex??
Q. So heres just a general question to see what everyones point of view is. How long is a unreasonable amount of time to expect a guy to wait for sex? What I mean is, say a girl isnt ready to have sex with her bf (whether she be a virgin or not) but...
A. 28 November 2007: Wow! That's one of the best questions I have seen on this website. Well done.
My answer: Forever - but I have some conditions. The love was total and mutual and we were both convinced we wanted to be with each other forever.
Richard... (read in full...)
I'm bored and uncomfortable with my life. Sometimes I indulge in very dangerous things!
Q. Howdy, This is bound to be kind of long sorry but rounds to a question in the end.. I am 27, semi hot down to earth mother. Recently I have been wondering about my sexual identity. I have been married for 1 year but together for 10 years wit...
A. 28 November 2007: Hi there. You are possibly focussing on the 'gay' issue as a way to escape reality. If the accountant is worried about the family finances it's time to wake up! Take some responsibilty yourself, check out your legal position in your country. Find ... (read in full...)
I found photos of her naked ex in our room!
Q. I (we've) got a little problem (or not). My wife is always very honest with me. She has never slept with anyone but me, but I know the first names of a few guys she dated and fooled around with some prior to me. Anyway, we bought our house a little ...
A. 27 November 2007: You missed number 4
4) Put them back and say nothing.
It was a time before she met you. You have no automatic right to know about it.
Up until you found them - you didn't know. Put them back and forget it. She chose you to marry. She loves yo... (read in full...)
My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent
Q. My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent. I have always been faithful to my wife, but we have on a few occasions attended swingers parties and through them hooked up and had sex with other couples. We have been married fou...
A. 27 November 2007: Hmm. This seems quite simple to me unless I am missing something!!! As a couple you have gone beyond the traditional limitations of marriage. You are creating your own rules - fair enough if you are both happy. The exploration is continuing, but you ... (read in full...)
I'm falling in love with a newly married man.
Q. I'm falling in love with a newly married man. We've recently become good friends and I see him all the time. Now he's invited me over to his place and I really want something to happen but I'm sure it never will. What do I do?...
A. 27 November 2007: OK. So let's say you go over to his place, and something does happen. Now what????
Now you've slept with him and feel even more for him.So now what do you do??? Get in even deeper....and deeper.....Until it all blows up.
Surely there must be someo... (read in full...)
Help! I'm going "Password" crazy! How can I remember them all!
Q. Can everybody please help me on this one? Everybody. I have so many different passwords and PINs. Mobile phones, PC access, websites, bank accounts, email, Paypal. I'm way the past the stage of being able to remember them. I thought it a good idea ...
A. 27 November 2007: Thanks for the advice so far. I'm giving these some serious thought. ... (read in full...)
I lied to my long distance boyfriend....
Q. hi, i just turned 18 not too long ago and im in a long distance relationship with someone, but i lied about my looks a little, i sent a real picture, only one and it was with really good lighting, im not ugly or anything its just i lied about my ...
A. 26 November 2007: Hey. I had a girlfriend who used to lie about her weight as well. She ended up in hospital after a horrible bungee diving accident!!
Richard... (read in full...)
How can a woman love, yet cheat time after time?
Q. I am wondering if someone could enlighten me? Would be nice to get female answers. Why would a woman cheat time after time,go through the same denials and say the same things,yet swear her love,accuse her boyfriend of cheating,show violent ...
A. 26 November 2007: The answer from hlskitten is absolutely right. It makes her feel better when she is with a man. She can't help it, it takes away any bad feeling she has. The problem with this type of woman is that you can keep looking after her, but as soon as you ... (read in full...)
Do I keep waiting for him to change, or leave now?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've thought of breaking up with him for almost a year. There is always something that keeps me from doing it. I think, "He'll get it together. He'll stop being selfish." He is jobless (his own accord) ...
A. 26 November 2007: Decide now before Christmas. Use the time to put the plans into place to minimise the aftershock. Then do it after Christmas.... (read in full...)
A sex change... Is she joking around?
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and about 2 months ago i said i would do anything for her, well a few days later she said "if i would do anything for her i would have a sex change". everyday since she has asked me if i would ...
A. 26 November 2007: Tell her Yes if she will do the same for you.... (read in full...)
Several times in our marriage we have gone multiple years without being intimate. I need to feel loved, wanted... How do I leave without hurting my children in the process?
Q. The Marriage Bed I “Lie” In About a year and a half ago, we bought a new bed. I think it was our third in 18 years of marriage. Our first king sized. If you were to look down on us sleeping in it, you would see two people on the outer edges and ...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi there. I've read your post twice and carefully. I understand your feelings on this. You've described it well.
At face value there is no magic answer. You either stay where you are and try and make the best of it. Or you take the plunge and divo... (read in full...)
I just met a guy at work who seems interested in me...
Q. I just met a guy at work who seems interested in me. He is married but separated from his wife of 5 years. They do have a child together. I really like this guy and we seem to have chemistry something that I haven't found in any guys in a very ...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi. Well if he seems interested then you won't have to do much at all. You only have to say something like "I'd like to see that new film but don't want to go on my own."
You say you only attract married men - or is it older men, who happen to b... (read in full...)
5 month since my break up, but I'm not sure how to feel. Can you help? Is it a good idea that I'm avoiding her?
Q. Hi everybody, it's Andy00. Not posted a question for a while now. Things have gotten much better for me this past month. I'm not sure why, because I don't think anything has changed. I have just felt a little stronger about the situation I have...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi Andy. I have been going through the same thing, I broke up in January. Don't expect it to be like a smooth downward curve on a graph. It still gets a bit spiky some days, gaphically speaking!! I filled my life up, and I am enjoying it, but I ... (read in full...)
Recently divorced, then met a married man, why am I so stupid?
Q. I deserve this - I recently (Aug) went through a traumatic seperation and lost alot of weight but had just started to get back on my feet. I started to chat to someone on the net, who lived local and was nice to talk to , made me laugh, said ni...
A. 26 November 2007: Hi there. No need to be so tough on yourself, it was him doing the cheating not you. You did it because you were vulnerable. Let's face it when we go through relationship trauma we go a little crazy (best not tell everyone though). The most ... (read in full...)
Is going out to dinner with her acceptable?
Q. my husband became sexually obsessed by a younger work colleague. they still work together - there is no chance of that changing and I am finding it hard to deal with. We seem to be on different planets when the subject is discussed. He says that he ...
A. 25 November 2007: Hi. I am same age group, but don’t let that put you off!
Let me get this right – when you’ve got strong feelings for someone the best way to get over it is……...... to take them out to lunch/dinner? All this time I’ve been thinking that was the ... (read in full...)
I can't stand the lies!
Q. I'm a 45 year old male and have 3 kids with a 35 year old female, we been together for 15 years off and on she has been abused as a kid by a grandfather, so she has sex, one night stands or 2-3 times a partner but has lied throughtout our entire ...
A. 25 November 2007: Hi . There are a lot of issues going on in the relatively short posting you’ve sent in. I’ll give you my perspective on what you’ve sent. The first thought that comes to mind is..... ….Are you two good for each other? I have to ask the question ... (read in full...)
During sex..He went limp. Ideas?
Q. I've just recently started dating a guy, and the first time we had sex, it was great, it was a little short lived, but great none-the-less. But yesterday.. the house was empty.. we were having plenty of foreplay.. i.e kissing necks, chests, s...
A. 25 November 2007: Hi. Very slight nerves is my guess. Doesn't take much to affect an erection. He might not have even felt nervous. Nothing to do with how attractive you are.
Get naked together with no expectation of intercourse, just be close, skin on skin, and ... (read in full...)
Could my friend be anorexic? If so, what can I do to help her?
Q. I have a friend who is very skinny, like skeletal (UK size 4), and she hardly ever eats lunch at school with us, and if she does she will eat tiny amounts. She has been like this since I met her, about 4 years ago, and I don't know how long before ...
A. 25 November 2007: Hey. I have just checked a few websites. There is a nine step plan to helping some with AN on this website:
http://www.ehow.com/how_17631_support-someone-with.html
It sets it out in a simple practical way.
Bear in mind it might not be AN. So ju... (read in full...)
Could my friend be anorexic? If so, what can I do to help her?
Q. I have a friend who is very skinny, like skeletal (UK size 4), and she hardly ever eats lunch at school with us, and if she does she will eat tiny amounts. She has been like this since I met her, about 4 years ago, and I don't know how long before ...
A. 25 November 2007: Hi there. It's good that you are concerned for your friend.
Anorexia Nervosa is a possible explanation for her size, but there are other conditions that lead to being underweight, as well as just being naturally thin. If it is Anorexia Nervosa this... (read in full...)
| *ichard_EMids's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ichard_EMids has
added them and they have added *ichard_EMids!
|
