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... Send *ichard_EMids a private message | | | *ichard_EMids's profile:Hi - I'm Richard.
Good to meet you. I live in the East Midlands of England, just in case you thought my surname was EMids!
I have had a wide range of life experiences - from ecstasy to tragedy. Like anyone who finds this site, I have had some ups and downs on the relationship front, despite being a "decent guy." Single or relationship status, they both have their merits. Neither is better, they are just different. I have two fantastic children sorry, fantastic teenagers. Life-loving, sensible and well mannered.
I'm into many different outdoor activities. Also reading, travel, biking and learning. I play badminton and go the gym. I like history in it's widest sense.
I had a 30 year career in management until the accountants and lawyers cut all the fun out. I work part time now which allows me to do all sorts of other things with my life. I am the same age as the number of cards in a pack. All of them....... Clubs, Hearts, Diamonds, and Spades (in that order).
I'm happy to try and help anybody solve their own problems by stimulating their thoughts, providing perspective or simply passing on some practical suggestions.
(where do I put my favourite car/ favourite film/ most unusual place.....)
AMENDMENT: Could you please change it from teenagers to young adults and add the word 'beautiful.' Thanks. |
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How can I get him interested again and spice things up for us?
Q. i have been with my partner for 7 years now.i love him so much and i still really find him attractive.he claims he hasnt went off me but the last time we made love was many months ago.we do get on apart from the odd tiff.i have stopped trying to ...
A. 28 January 2008: I think you should look back and see if you can identify any particular cause. Has something happened since you last made love? Several months is a long time. You can try asking him, but from previous people posting similar questions, it doesn't ... (read in full...)
I need help before ruining my relationship
Q. I need help before I ruin my relationship!My girlfriend has lived life to the fullest and I've done nothing.This makes me so jealous that I won't even let her tell me anymore about her past.I also get very jealous of the comments she gets on her ...
A. 27 January 2008: Hi Mr Worry. This is easy to deal with. Tell your therapist exactly what you have said here. Better still, print it off and give to your therapist. Your therapist will welcome this I am sure.
Now between you and your therapist you can work this out.... (read in full...)
Am I talking too much to his parents about his affair?
Q. My husband of ten years had an affair with a woman for 10 months. She works 2 blocks from his office and they see each other daily. I caught him and he confessed and so did she. Both of them told me that it was over and that it was merely sexual ...
A. 27 January 2008: There is someone else who posted a question "How do I stop the abuse, I inflict on him?" around the same time as you posted your question. Please have a look at the problems in that relationship as a result of her boyfriends cheating.
Your husb... (read in full...)
How do I stop the abuse, I inflict on him?
Q. my boyfriend has cheated on me a couple times in the past but has completely changed all that but ever since it happened i have become incredibly abusive towards him. any time i get upset i hit him til i feel better, how do i stop this? i love him ...
A. 27 January 2008: I would guess it is repressed feelings. The cheating is an unresolved issue for you, not surprisingley. In your conscious mind you can rationalise the change in his behaviour. However, deep down you are angry or you are hurting. It's a normal coping ... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt that he suggested, I clear off my huge debt!
Q. I have been with my partner for a year and just recently we bought a home together. I came to the relationship with £7000 debt on my credit card and he agreed that this should go on our mortgage as the interest rate was cheaper. We were talking abou ...
A. 27 January 2008: Here are your words :.... "Now I wasn't expecting him to pay my debt but i kind of assumed that the debt was just 'cleared off' now that we were together."
1)You are expecting him to pay your debt if you're not doing anything about it!!! The mort... (read in full...)
Does she just want to move in for sex??
Q. I have been having sex with my girl friend for last 3 months. We both love lot of sex and we both get it..but since recently my gf is asking me if she can stay with me living together...but im worried is this just because of sex or does she needs me ...
A. 26 January 2008: Sorry - what's the problem??... (read in full...)
Is it a myth that men move on quicker than women??
Q. Is it true ,that men only leaving the marriage, when he has someone else already in place? AND woman will leave ,even if there is no lover on side ,because they are more independent than man? I heard ,when the woman dies , no man stays alone ma...
A. 26 January 2008: You presumably have a broken heart and are in the grieving process trying to figure it all out. Desperate to find reasons and explanations. This is all part of the process but at the same time, try to move yourself forward each week.
You are comi... (read in full...)
I'm disgusted... I found a fake rubber vagina in my bf's closet!
Q. I found a fake rubber sex toy resembling a woman’s vagina in my boyfriend’s closet! I got furious at him and threw it at his face and said “What’s this?” He got angry at me back and said it wasn’t my business, and he had it long before he knew me. ...
A. 26 January 2008: There are many who would disgaree with you including millions of women who have vibrators or dildos.
But if you think it's disgusting, that's Ok. We're all entitled to our own views. Nobody is right and nobody is wrong.
The consequence of this tho... (read in full...)
My newly sober husband and a clueless boyfriend! Help!
Q. I'm at a crossroad here..My situation is tearing my heart apart and I need some advice from anyone who is willing to read this. Well I've been married for 3 years and my husband suffered a major car accident 7 years ago (before we met)ever since ...
A. 26 January 2008: If I may make a few observations. From what you say it seems you have steered yourself to the crossroads.
You met a man in a very difficult situation, struggling to deal with inadequate pain relief, married him, then left him 3 years because he w... (read in full...)
Can marriage work after an affair?
Q. I am a 49 year old MM and fell for an attractive 47 year old divorcee, after having a bad spell in our long 20 year marriage. We shared an intense relationship for a few months as "soul mates". I called it off when I realised I would not leave my ...
A. 23 January 2008: There are two people in the marriage. You need to "fix" what was at the root of the bad spell in your marriage. If you do, you'll motivate yourself to improving your marriage. If you don't, then you are still at the stage you were before you started ... (read in full...)
Should we allow our daughter to meet this guy?
Q. My daughter's 16, and in college studying beauty therapy. She intends to work in tourism as a beauty therapist when she's older, and is doing well on her course. She's got a 21-year-old sister who's at university in Nottingham. Last week she ...
A. 21 January 2008: Hello Tracey. The relationship you have with your daughter is excellent. Well done Mum. So to answer one of your questions, yes it is good she has been so honest about the situation with you.
Should you allow her request to meet him? I can unde... (read in full...)
My son has been behaving sexually towards his sister, how do I handle it?
Q. Hi All, can someone please give me advice on the following: My 12 year daughter had left a note in her bedroom, which I found when I was cleaning her room, it said, Dear Mom, I think i'm pregrant with B...'s baby love S... This I asked her ...
A. 21 January 2008: Hi Tracey. I'm a Dad. I think you have handled this very very well. It sounds like both your children are quite sensible as well. The boy has started to go "off track" but this has been corrected, which is what the job of a parent is. The sexual ... (read in full...)
Does Dr Pepper lower sperm count?
Q. My friend hurd a roumer that Dr.Pepper lowers sperm count? is this true?...
A. 21 December 2007: I thought I should add an informative answer as well. I have copied and pasted from netdoctor.co.uk. Hope they don't mind.
...................
Many more environmental factors that can affect male fertility exist today than 50 years ago. The fact... (read in full...)
I love my husband but there are lies and unreciprocation!
Q. My husband of 3 years tells lies. I work and travel alot and I discovered that when I am out of town he watches porn. I found hookup sites that he forgot to clear and approached him, he denied. then his hotmail password was changed-well it all ...
A. 21 December 2007: This is my philosophy:
If someone lies then they have something to hide.
What they are hiding they deem worse than lying.
If you catch someone lying, it is probably the tip of the iceberg.
I repeatedly give them the benefit of doubt. Then I am... (read in full...)
He got back with his ex for the sake of the kids, but still sees me. I have fallen for him hard!
Q. I met this man on a night out and he was single, so we hit it off right away. He later told me he had 2 children and after a month of seeing him he got back with his ex, i think he only got back with her for the children. Now we are still talking ...
A. 20 December 2007: He was with you for a month. Then he had a choice. He chose his wife. Luckily for him, it didn't put you off. So now he have both. His wife most of the time and you to fill in gaps.... (read in full...)
Is my married boss trying to pursue something with me?
Q. My boss is 20 years older than I and he is married. I don't find him very attractive although he is a great guy to work for! Well... I have worked for him for about a year and it's strange cause he always says things that border on inappropriate, ...
A. 20 December 2007: Yes he is pursuing you, but without stepping over work boundaries. Just keep things professional. Be firm. He'll respect you ...and give up the pursuit...........eventually. Don't accept any invites. The slightest encouragement and things will get... (read in full...)
Does Dr Pepper lower sperm count?
Q. My friend hurd a roumer that Dr.Pepper lowers sperm count? is this true?...
A. 20 December 2007: I think he's talking about Dr.Pegger. He does vasectomy operations for men. Yes, that would lower sperm count. Severely!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets messages from sex sites, but denies being a member, says they are random. Is he lying??
Q. My boyfriend gets these instant messages from sex sites, stating "hey I liked your profile, if you want to see my webcam pics you can contact me at...." He says they are just random junk mail that everyone gets. I've got a yahoo account and I ...
A. 20 December 2007: Yes they probably are junk mailings. He may have visited sex sites in the past. There are amazing delays in marketing information. I asked six companies to quote me for double glazing 11 years ago and one of the companies has phoned every 9 months ... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 20 December 2007: It's always worse when you lie down. Fluid irritates. Try sitting up a bit.
You have prob got this from stressing over your ex. Your immunity is suppressed.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend suffers from low self esteem and bulemia, I came up with some ideas to boost her confidence but my friends say I will drive her into the arms of another man
Q. I have been with my grilfriend for a over a year now, she has recently told me she has suffered from bulemia and is desperate to feel good about her self and more importantly to feel sexy again. She is gorgeous and has a beautiful face and the most ...
A. 20 December 2007: Hi. You told your friends!!!!!!!!! Does she know??? I think she told you in confidence.
I don't follow the logic of your friends. And I don't follow all of your logic either - it's all sex isn't it. None of them would do any harm though. Perh... (read in full...)
We fooled around and now I don't think he's interested, am I paranoid?
Q. I had a bit off a one night stand about 2 weeks ago with a guy who is a friend of a friend. Didn't have sex but did everything but. I was slightly tipsy. When I got home, I added him on facebook - he was on my friends page and sent him a message ...
A. 20 December 2007: He wanted sex and didn't want a relationship.
Richard... (read in full...)
I've suspected for some time now that my partner may be having a sexual affair, a couple of days ago I found some intriguing might be evidence and need advice on how to go about confronting her with this?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for sometime now. She is in her late thirties and very attractive. She is a director of a company and socialises a lot with business colleagues and is often away on business trips. I work as a GP in a NHS ...
A. 20 December 2007: Someone has made a point that it's trashy not to have cleaned up afterwards. Maybe, maybe not. She could have had sex in the car. It a bit careless though throwing the knickers in the wash. But what could she do? Throw them in rubbish. Even more ... (read in full...)
I spy on my next door neighbour and want to watch her have sex with her boyfriend, is this ok?
Q. Living next door is a beautiful girl my age. We are both 18. We have been friends and have flirted and done other fun things. My bedroom looks over at hers. I have sometimes seen her undressing and doing other sexy things. The other night I saw ...
A. 20 December 2007: You can watch her deliberately and she can 'perform' deliberately, but if the cops call round YOU will be the one on a sex charge. Unfair but true.
Suddenly the world will be very different. You will lose friends. People will know you as a perv... (read in full...)
I've heard my Mom having sex with her boyfriend in our house, yet I'm 18 and not allowed to have sex with my boyfriend. How do I talk her round?
Q. Hi, I just turned 18 last month. My bf and I have been dating a while. We are both virgins. We both have expressed a desire to have sex. I have decided that I want the first time to be in my bed. I think my room is good because we both would be co...
A. 20 December 2007: Hi. You could ask her first about going on the contraceptive pill. Not many 'kids' ask their parents permission to have sex though. Why don't you just use the house when everyone's out? Tell your Mum after the event. Tell her you did all the 'safe ... (read in full...)
My boyfreind sent a suspicious email, is he cheating??
Q. My normally well-behaved boyfriend said this in an email to one of his friends: "i apologise...for drunken email that is....haven't been this pasted in long time...maybe one week....also resolve to sleep with random chicks hahah..." Sho...
A. 20 December 2007: Hi. He's probably being stupid with his friend. Keep an eye on him though, just in case.
Richard... (read in full...)
He have "minor" trust issues (which we handle very immaturely.) What should we do to solve them?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend almost 10 months and she fell inlove with me after a month and I soon recipricated the feelings. We are so close with eachother all the time and in my opinion have a great relationship. We have minor trust ...
A. 20 December 2007: Ok buddy - you are starting to hurt and it'll probably get worse. She is only 18. In a way, she's right. Why get tied down at that age? I think you can guess where this is heading. All I will say to you keep hold of your dignity. If she wants to ... (read in full...)
My live-in gf only enjoys masturbating together but gets defensive over intercourse. Haven't had sex in yrs, I'm tempted to accept my colleague's sexual insinuations?
Q. I haven't had sex with my girl since 2003. We live together. We were from a long distance relationship. I love her. I cook for her. I make her feel good. But everytime I try and engage with her intimately, she brushes me off. Then less than...
A. 20 December 2007: To be honest if I was in your position, I would not even be posting the question on this site. Nobody can criticise you for going with this woman at work.
Why is your g/f like this though? Having sex with another guy and after you forgive her, won'... (read in full...)
During the Christmas party, I ended being intimate with a co-worker and I suggested to know each other better; the next day he acted indifferent. Should I make the first step?
Q. Last weekend I went to my work's Chistmas lunch dinner and clubing night and ended up sleeping with a guy I know from work but not very much, we got off but didn't properly had sex as I didn't feel comfy about not knowing him enough and told him so, ...
A. 20 December 2007: Hi - from what you say I think the guys just a bit p****d off that he didn't have sex with you. So, you were right not being comfy having sex with someone you didn't know very well. He is not looking for ongoing relationship, just one night sex. I ... (read in full...)
I've suspected for some time now that my partner may be having a sexual affair, a couple of days ago I found some intriguing might be evidence and need advice on how to go about confronting her with this?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for sometime now. She is in her late thirties and very attractive. She is a director of a company and socialises a lot with business colleagues and is often away on business trips. I work as a GP in a NHS ...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi. Don't confront yet. You don't have enough. Human nature is to deny it unless the evidence is irrefutable. Also, just in case you're wrong, you are not seen to be doubting her and causing an argument. Keep your powder dry. If she is being ... (read in full...)
My friend nearly made out with me until I asked him to stop. What was he thinking?
Q. Hi I moved to a new city one year ago and my former flatmate from my old one visited me last weekend. While the weekend was fun, it got kinda weird on Saturday night. We were watching TV and my friend sort of started touching me. We nearly made out...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi - I have returned to link you a similar story from a girl who wanted to take things further with her male friend.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/we-did-everything-but-have-sexand-now-he.html... (read in full...)
We did everything but have sex...and now he says he doesn't have sexual feelings for me.
Q. Saturday night, my best friend stayed over at my house because my parents were away. He has been probably the nicest boy to me in the world, and cares about me so much. Before the summer we liked eachother, but then summer split us up and he hooked...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi. I've just answered a question like this a couple of days ago, but with the genders reversed - the girl has written in about her boy mate. The link is below. It was on 17 December. You have just got your wires crossed that's all. You were ... (read in full...)
I have just moved in together with my long distance partner, and paradoxically we're still distant. How do I bridge this distance? Does he really love me?
Q. I met a man and we had a long distance relationship for over five years while we settled our divorces and children's issues. We have just now both relocated to a new state and moved in together. He is adjusting to his new job and I have been setting ...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi - I have been close to this situation myself. In summary though, you both have valid points. Nobody is more right or wrong. The simplest solution is for you to work. Until then, you are going to have to adjust quickly and find some friends. Try ... (read in full...)
Isn't it unacceptable to expect a married (or even single) woman (teacher) to share a hotel room with a man-colleague on a business trip? Am I old fashioned?
Q. This question and asking for opinions is coming from me and my husband. I am a new teacher, I waited until our kids were all in school to go to college. I am a reading specialist, and received an opportunity to attend a 3 day seminare in anot...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi - this would certainly be unacceptable in the UK. Definately go to the seminar though. There are several ways to try and get around this while your complaint is being processed by the teachers union. There is also a lot to be gained as well if ... (read in full...)
After my boyfriend helped out my financial problems by allowing us to move in together, I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my independence! Can you help?
Q. I was asked to move out of my family home, even though my Mum knew I couldn't afford it. I was fresh out of university and building up my career, but was at the very bottom of the ladder and very badly paid. Plus I have very large debts from ...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi - I have read through your post twice. It's all very normal. Nothing to be over concerned about at all. You are behaving very sensibly by looking around to where your vulnerabilities are. Well done, responsible girl.
I'll make a few obse... (read in full...)
I deceived a married man to get me pregnant and he wants to be there for us, but I don't want him near us unless he leaves his wife, what is the right thing for me to do in this situation?
Q. I'm a single mom who had been seeing a married man for two years before his wife found out. After she found out, he broke it off with me, and we were both devestated. Then I called him a few times, and we started to see each other again, but ...
A. 19 December 2007: I have read this and will make 2 points:
It seems like a child is being added to a situation to be used as a bargaining or revenge tool. That's very sad.
This is a "reference" case for any guy posting the "I'm thinking of cheating" question... (read in full...)
My boyfriends brother is obsessed with this girl to the point it is causing depression, how do I help him?
Q. Ok, I have a question (obviously) it’s about my boyfriends brother; he is infatuated with their ex-flatmate. He is starting to self harm and get really depressed about it; ok she moved out but she still see’s him on a regular basis, yes she flirts ...
A. 19 December 2007: Yes I can give you a tip. Direct him to this website and suggest he posts his situation here. Getting feedback from a wide range of people helps you see things differently. What a good girl you are trying to help your boyfd's brother.
Richard... (read in full...)
Do I wait until he sorts himself out, or do I move on?
Q. i met a man at work a few mths ago we were flirting 4 a while and he told me he was separted after a 15 yr relationship, we started texting and had a few dates he told me that he was really happy and never felt so relaxed with anyone else then his ...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi Sara. Well he has probably got a lot of things to get sorted out, papers, property, and especially including his feelings. His wife also is trying to work things out. He probably played the jealousy card to her by letting her know ... (read in full...)
She was cheating on me, how do I move on?
Q. hi im 22 just broke up with my long term girlfriend after i found out see was cheating on me just carnt seem to get her out of my head and carnt understand why she did it we were so happy now shes dating him and i know hes useing her and think...
A. 19 December 2007: Hi buddy. Don't worry about the other guy, because he has got it coming. Sooner or later she will cheat on him, then he will be feeling bad just like you. And she'll probably cheat on the next one after that.
Do you really want to be one those guys... (read in full...)
I got this text from my ex and I am confused
Q. Ive got a dilemma (man! woman are funny creatures) ive been crazy about my ex for ages and finally mastered up the courage to tell her, she was shocked and said she's sleep on it. she then text me this morning want to know how i should approach...
A. 18 December 2007: Never contact her again and move forward with your life. Don't look back. ... (read in full...)
He is lying to me about watching gay porn!
Q. help! i have been with my husband for 5yrs and married for 2an a half, but things have been gettin a bit wierd! i knew about him watchin porn its happened bout 6times and everytime he swore it'd b the last, but its still happenin a yr on, but now ...
A. 18 December 2007: If this is making you feel like you want to jump off a bridge then its time to get serious. Follow through. Become much firmer, more severe, cold and assertive about this. Become a very strong woman who has had enough. Calmly and coldly talk about ... (read in full...)
Missed a call the other day and was wondering if it might be my ex.
Q. Hey all ! Me and my ex have been split up since may this year, we slept together until september, but this didnt work for me so i decided to try and forget about him. My ex hasnt called or text me in 3 months, he said he hated me and didnt want a...
A. 18 December 2007: Stop waiting for wrong numbers on your phone and start living your life. You've got around 50 years left. Sounds like you have just wasted half a year.
Good luck with your life.
Richard... (read in full...)
He have "minor" trust issues (which we handle very immaturely.) What should we do to solve them?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend almost 10 months and she fell inlove with me after a month and I soon recipricated the feelings. We are so close with eachother all the time and in my opinion have a great relationship. We have minor trust ...
A. 17 December 2007: Hi - The simple answer is that she likes to have men interested in her. She is either encouraging their behaviour or not turning down their interest. So if you are at the stage of an exclusive commitment, then yes, I would say you need to be.... ... (read in full...)
How can I sing with a sore throat? Any remedies?
Q. Hi everybody. Slight change from the norm; I have a health related question. As some of you know, I'm in a rock band for my Music course in college. I have to give a performance this Thursday in front of all my fellow students and friends. It is a...
A. 17 December 2007: Have you thought of an instrumental piece?... (read in full...)
My friend nearly made out with me until I asked him to stop. What was he thinking?
Q. Hi I moved to a new city one year ago and my former flatmate from my old one visited me last weekend. While the weekend was fun, it got kinda weird on Saturday night. We were watching TV and my friend sort of started touching me. We nearly made out...
A. 17 December 2007: You never thought of you two as anything more than friends. He, on the other hand, did think beyond flatmates. Never mind, you've put him straight now.
Richard... (read in full...)
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