Irrational insecurity or something to worry about?
Q. Hi all. A couple of things, I suffer from insecurity really badly whenever I am in a relationship and it always pushes my bfs away, they end up leaving. The thing is, a couple of things about my bf worry me and I would just like to know other ...
A. 19 September 2011: You describe two issues.
*A BF who has an drinking problem and feels pressured to socialize in these drinking fests with his coworkers.
*He has a friend that was a former FWB connection.
The former FWB friend is easy: Is she still on hi... (read in full...)
It seems like everything died because we had sex!
Q. i hit one wrong button and deleted everything I wrote so here is a reduced version. I was talking to a guy for two months via text and hung out a few times. He works at the same place I do but don't see him hardly at all so I wasn't worried about ...
A. 17 September 2011: Follow his lead and step back. You may have had sex too soon and he simply is not ready for more.
It may have all been too much, too fast for him.
Approaching him with talk about your worries, questions, etc. will just come across as clingy... (read in full...)
Can I delete my 'Step Mum' from Facebook ?
Q. My step mother seems to be utterly obsessed with me. She is paranoid that my Dad favours me over her, (we do have a strong relationship but I'm his DAUGHTER not his lover) I was open to her in the beginning when she proposed to him after barely ...
A. 17 September 2011: I would not delete her, because it might be more trouble than it is worth. However, you can hide all posts from her, so you do not see what she has to say on your profile.
Keep a cordial relationship and do not give in to her whining. You do not n... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend's ex calling him and he keeps telling her that I am with him?
Q. Ok. So I am with my boyfriend of many years last night along with our son and his daughter from his previous marriage. His ex wife calls and the conversation goes something like this "my girlfriend is here, my girlfriend is here, my girlfriend (my ...
A. 16 September 2011: Are you absolutely sure he was talking to the exwife?
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cant control himself, what should I do?
Q. What should I do about my boyfriend? So I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and it has been pretty good. We have good and bad times like any relationship but recently our arguements have upset me. We both have a short temper and...
A. 16 September 2011: You tell him you will stop dating him unless he gets help and makes immediate changes.
We teach people how to treat us. Remove yourself from his presense unless he can treat you with respect.
His actions are abusive and unacceptable. T... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants our LDR to be an open relationship...
Q. My boyfriend and I had been dating about three months when our relationship became long distance due to circumstances beyound our control. It's been three months since I had to move, and we've only been able to see each other once since then. ...
A. 16 September 2011: If it is open for him only-then he wants permission to cheat. I would call off the relationship for now and let him know that you will only accept a faithful relationship.
If it is meant to be, it WILL be, but a relationship never works when it ... (read in full...)
Why do guys flirt one day and act distant the next?
Q. So this is just a random question that I just wish I knew the answer to. Yes we all know how the male specie is so confusing and how they frustrate us women. So anyway, I just wanted to know what you aunts and uncles think about why guys act ...
A. 16 September 2011: Both genders do it. Flirting is fun!
Flirting is not necessarily a sign of sincere interest or looking for something from you.
Flirting is a form of social excercise between the sexes. Joking, innuendo, touching, the energy going back and f... (read in full...)
I don't want a bad breakup but I want to end things
Q. I feel like a jerk because I want to break it off with my girlfriend of 8 months. I'm separated from my wife and while there is no going back, I am just not attracted to my girlfriend anymore. She's a great girl and I don't want to hurt her, but I ...
A. 16 September 2011: She is going to be hurt. You can not avoid that.
The longer you draw out and pretend you are still interested in a relationship you will hurt her more.
Break up with her in person; never over the phone, email, etc. These are the cowardly way... (read in full...)
My 41 year old boyfriend fancies teenage girls
Q. My partner is 41. However, he says he feels like he is 18 years old. Now thats great, as it keeps him active etc. However, the downside is that he fancies women or rather girls that are very young- I'm talking 16-18. This really creeps me out. I ...
A. 14 September 2011: Yes, I would say it is some kind of fixiation on "barely legal" girls in a sad attempt to preserve his youth. Just because it is legal, does not make it RIGHT.
He may feel like 18 years old, but that is nothing to brag about! That is just another ... (read in full...)
Should I take her back for the sake of the child?
Q. my ex and i recently had a baby things didnt work out and she moved in with another guy 3 weeks after moving out of my house some guy she had worked with the past 4 years. She told me they were just roomates but she recently told me they are ...
A. 14 September 2011: No. The circumstances are fishy that she wants you back at the same time things are not working out with her BF.
If you have suspected there has been more going on in this relationship than friendship, insist on a DNA test.
DO NOT invite her b... (read in full...)
How long should it take for someone to introduce you to their kids?
Q. Hi All, I have been dating a guy for six months, He is separated with three kids under 13. He has not introduced me to them yet.Is that normal? He sees them regularly. Thanks. :o)...
A. 14 September 2011: I am a single parent and I made a rule that new bf's are not going to meet my kids unless they are definely are long term in my life. I always tell my kids that I am dating and my bf loves hearing about my kids, but I do not mix the two. All my bfs ... (read in full...)
My husband won't tell me what happened during his affairs in case I use it against him in a divorce court
Q. Hello everyone. I just need someone else's opinion on what you think of my husband's response. I asked him to open up and tell me everything that happened between him and all the 4 women he got emotionally involved with (what they did, how far their ...
A. 14 September 2011: You are asking him to "come clean" to you, not taking a tally of all his misgivings in his cheating.
He thinks you will use the info against him-he does not trust YOU in all this?
I would suggest the two of you get into marriage counsel... (read in full...)
Did he give me HIV? How do I stop worryng about this?
Q. Hi I know I have been incredibley stupid and I'm the first to admit that. About a year ago,I got a little involved with a married man (horrible I know) anyway we met up three times, on the last ocassion he didn't use a condom and he ejaculated ...
A. 14 September 2011: All you can do is get test to know for sure.
If you are currently sexually active before you get tested, use condoms every single time.
In an ideal world, we do hope that our lovers will be responsible and honest regarding their sexual hea... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I 'think' I might be pregnant?
Q. Do I tell my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant? I'm 19 in a few days, he's 18 and we've been in a stable, loving relationship for 2 and a half years. I am on the pill and we use condoms everytime we have sex. I have been experiencing a lot of ...
A. 14 September 2011: If you have been using your birth control and condoms as prescribed, it is unlikely you would be pregnant.
Your symptoms could be related to taking the pill. My advice is that you tell your bf you are having these symptoms and are going to a Dr.... (read in full...)
He seems oddly reluctant to meet
Q. Dipping my toes into the single life after a 21 year realationship..ouch, its harsh out there ! I'm on this site and a guy checked me out, we started emailing and then finally we did the phone thing. Its been 9 months although he lives 2 states ...
A. 14 September 2011: I would just ignore him from now on.
He has shown you that he does not take you seriously. You do not really know him. He does not really know you.
The two of you might be feeling faux chemistry induced by what you think is a romance.
Da... (read in full...)
My BF says I don't love him enough. Who's right?
Q. So my boyfriend of 8yrs decides now that he has come to his senses that he cannot be with me cuz he feels that I'm not there for him..Mind you thru infedility, mental abuse and all his other baggage he states since he can't count on me cuz he's been ...
A. 14 September 2011: I think your bf is just plain using you and his idea of "love" is to provide for him and just make life easier for him.
Has he had the same consideration for you? Nope. He cheated on you and abused you.
The minute he told you that you HAD to ... (read in full...)
How can my wife and I regain our sex life after a long drought?
Q. For reasons I won't get into, my wife and I stopped having sex completely at some point in the past. It has been years now since we have had any sex or even kissed. We were separated for a while before getting back together. Now that we are back...
A. 14 September 2011: You have not mentioned a key ingredient in true intimacy.
Feelings!
You are attracted to her. Great. How do you FEEL about her?
You are trying to recapture passion and the two of you are looking at each other like strangers.
You ma... (read in full...)
Should I stick it out or go?
Q. I was given an engagement ring(that he picked out), he asked me to wear it (but didn't propose)... He says he wants to marry me within the next 5 years. We bought a house , cars , etc. together. He talks about marrying me evry other day and how he ...
A. 14 September 2011: It sounds like you are just trying to figure out what does this ring really mean to your bf/fiance?
Is it just another piece of jewelry, a reservation for the future, or true intention of marriage?
Pfft, and yes, that ring should come off ... (read in full...)
My husband is very particular about how he likes oral, is this normal?
Q. Hello, I have written in before and gotten excellent advice. My last posting was about a week ago about my mom objecting to the way my husband and I treat each other. We have three kids (biological), 8, 5, and 2, and have the adoption of an 1...
A. 13 September 2011: Why would it need to be common? It works for the two of you! :) It is the launching sequence that works for him.
I think it is great that couples find ways to give their partner the "full service" with a smile!... (read in full...)
What would you do if you had a girlfriend, but another woman was very loud about liking you?
Q. I think I want to ask this question to guys out there. Lets say you have a girlfriend of 8 months (not living together), you get along well, haven't really had any big problems, you've met her kids, you go on dates every friday and saturday and ...
A. 13 September 2011: What to do: You tell the other woman in an outspoken way that you are in a committed relationship and you are not interested in her and to stop bothering you.
Why? Because you are in a relationship already.... (read in full...)
Should I stick it out or go?
Q. I was given an engagement ring(that he picked out), he asked me to wear it (but didn't propose)... He says he wants to marry me within the next 5 years. We bought a house , cars , etc. together. He talks about marrying me evry other day and how he ...
A. 13 September 2011: How is the relationship NOW? I think it is natural for a ring to come with a proposal, saying "I am ready to get married now. Let's make plans!".
He is telling you he wants to get married someday, which is not the same thing as being ready to... (read in full...)
Why do men treat me better when I am not nice to them?
Q. When I was with my ex , I was a nightmare. I was demanding, disrespectful and very manipulative. In return he was a great bf. I broke up with him after a few years when I got a job in another country. So, now I have a new bf and for some reason,...
A. 13 September 2011: I think it is the same with women who cling to men that are bad to them.
I wonder if some people try and stick with people who are unkind and negative to them because deep down they would like to believe that person will change for them.
... (read in full...)
I despise my married lover...he's a liar...so how do I get out of this one?
Q. How am I going to be able to last the next 7 weeks with my boyfriend when he makes my skin crawl? He is married and I've been seeing him for a couple of years. Earlier this year we booked a holiday for november but I'm having serious second t...
A. 13 September 2011: If it is only about the money-save your sanity and lose the money and do not go on the holiday.
Tell him you are done with your arrangement/relationship.
... (read in full...)
How can I make my GF want to have sex with me again?
Q. Ok so I've been together with my GF for 5 1/2 months and everything had been working until she went on vacation, but she's definitely not the type to cheat on me, she came back and was normal in every way except for sex. As soon as I touch her in an ...
A. 13 September 2011: Before you can have sex again, you have something very important to do....TALK to her!
Have a conversation outside the bedroom. Do not ask questions about what happened to your sex life before, during, or after sex or when you hope to have som... (read in full...)
Why is my son reacting this way to her absence?
Q. I am a 35 year old widowed father of a 7 year old son. His mother died a few years ago from drugs. I own my own business, which has been doing well, but is time consuming. So, I had hired a nanny to help care for my son. I began dating a w...
A. 13 September 2011: I think your son is having a normal reaction to your GF's absense.
He lost his Mom. She went away and did not come back.
He is only 7 years old and may not be able to articulate/figure out why he is upset with her absense.
It is fairly... (read in full...)
Should I consider going to an escort? Thoughts, anyone?
Q. I have been single for three years (I am 37), following the break-up of a 9-year relationship. I live in a relatively rural area which means dating opportunities are few and far between. I have tried online dating but with no success (even though ...
A. 13 September 2011: I get the impression you are a guy that prefers a real relationship. You mention you do not want kids. Does that mean you do not want to Father your own or you are against dating someone who might already have children?
It is good that you have... (read in full...)
He won't see our child if we aren't together
Q. Hi me and my ex/ babydad got into a really bad argument in july and he won't see our kid its going on 3 months. We dated awhile the relationship ended because of (jealousy) and he won't see our child if we're not together what do I do?? How do I go ...
A. 12 September 2011: If he does not want to see your child if you are not together, that is emotional blackmail.
He would not be worth forcing to visit his child. DO see a lawyer to secure financial support, but unfortunately you can not force someone to be a Daddy.
... (read in full...)
Would u have sex with someone if they promised a job?
Q. would u have sex with someone if they promised you a job or if theyd support you but you were a virgin...
A. 12 September 2011: Trading sex for a job? Well, that sounds like prostitution to me. You are just trading a benefit for sexual favors.
It is considered the oldest profession in history.
I say NO.... (read in full...)
Husband on websites saying he's single!
Q. my husband as been going on dating sites saying hes single, phoning and texting women why...
A. 12 September 2011: He may not be looking for an affair, he may be wondering if he could still "pull interest".
Regardless of why, it is decietful to you and to others he is gives the impression he is single.
If I were in your shoes, I would sitting at the c... (read in full...)
Can you be married and fall in love with another person?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone else when you are married?...
A. 12 September 2011: Yes. When you get married, you do not die to the attraction, passions, and emotional draw to other people.
However, when you marry you reserve and preserve those feelings and experiences to the person you said "I do" with.
You choose that person ... (read in full...)
How do you really feel about skinny jeans?
Q. I know this isn't a deep question, but how do you all feel about skinny jeans/tight pants on women? For most of my life I've worn pants that fit or were a little loose. They aren't falling off my butt or anything and I go and do visit tailors ...
A. 12 September 2011: Never wear anything that does not make you feel good about yourself!
If a sales consultant is pushing you to buy something you are not comfortable with-shop elsewhere.
Personally, I think too tight clothes do not make the most of someone'... (read in full...)
I am seriously broke right now because of him
Q. Dear CUPID!! I'm 23 my boyfriends 35. He recently got fired from his job and has been asking me for money. I recently lent him 2 hundred bucks to attend a football game. I am seriously broke right now because of him. I know he lost his job and I do ...
A. 12 September 2011: When someone loses their job, that should mean they need to make different choices.
He needs to understand the differences between his NEEDS and WANTS. Going to a football game is not a need. Where are his priorities.
When you have less in... (read in full...)
My g/f doesn't have good legs and I'm not sexually attracted to her!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years. Unfortunately, try as I might, I haven't found her sexually attractive for some time. We have marriage plans, and I'm sure she would be a good life partner, mother, etc., but I don't know if this can work ...
A. 12 September 2011: I doubt you are dismissing the relationship after five years because of her legs. That would be shallow.
Instead, I think you are looking the future of this relationship and not seeing yourself in the picture.
I suspect you are looking for the ... (read in full...)
Should I dump my b/f because he isn't sympathetic when I'm having my period?
Q. My boyfriend isnt sympathetic when i am on my period, should i dump him ?. He calls me moody and says that he wont put up with the way i am every month when its my time of the month. I get severe cramps and it really gets me down. I know men dont ...
A. 9 September 2011: Unless he can borrow your uterus, he will not understand what you go through. Maybe you are being unreasonable during your PMS times?
What do other people say about your personality/actions/mood during that time? When I was younger and had bad ... (read in full...)
Who is the father of my baby?
Q. please help! Here are the facts: I stopped taking the pill birth control in april 2011 I have reguar periods and a pretty normal cycle. Last missed period: may 24. I found out I was pregnant: june 25 I cheated on my boyfriend on: june 5...
A. 8 September 2011: You would need to confirm paternity with a DNA test. After the baby is born he and the baby will need to provide blood samples.
If your used a condom with your lover and it was fully intact after sex (no spillage afterwards) it would be EXTREMEL... (read in full...)
Due to be married to a woman who thinks sex is only for reproduction! I don't know if I can deal with a life without sex....
Q. hello everyone. I had a chat with my fiance the other evening. I was concerned about our lack of sexual activities. I asked why she never gives oral no hand jobs without asking. And very little sex. When we do have sex i do all for her oral and ...
A. 8 September 2011: Put the wedding on hold. She is looking for security, not a marriage.
If you go forward with the marriage you are in for a painful existance. No sex and no affection unless she is ok with having another baby? Sex would be nothing less than a j... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 8 September 2011: I think you are being unreasonable.
No one has the ability to completely withold germs from another human being from getting sick.
You do have Lupus, so your immunity is already compromised. That makes YOU responsible for knowing how to p... (read in full...)
What's the point of asking me out if he's just going to cancel?
Q. Why would a guy cancel a date that HE asked me out on and then say they'll reschedule but never do? whats the point of asking me out in the first place? whats the point of calling me up and sweet talking me?? i dont get why he even bothered to, or ...
A. 8 September 2011: That is an incredibily frustrating situation, but here is how you deal with it....
DO NOT put your life on hold for a phone call. Do not put time or energy into waiting for someone who only makes you an option.
A person who is really intereste... (read in full...)
My ex has forgotten when my birthday is. Do I have a right to be peeved or am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. My ex and me were together for just under six months. It's been several months now since we broke up. We've tried to be friends since then but it has been difficult for me because she ended it and then got a new boyfriend soon after. Anyway, t...
A. 8 September 2011: She is an ex and you only dated 6 mos. If she were a thoughtful person who was connected and considerate of the things that are important to you, chances are she would not be an ex.
I think your expectation is unreasonable. She does not sound li... (read in full...)
So am I just being paranoid or is there something wrong with this picture?
Q. Ok, I need your input..Im not very good at spotting deception. I started seeing this girl, started out real good but then got a little rocky..we broke up, a couple days latter we talked and hashed out our problem..during the conversation, which ...
A. 8 September 2011: A few more thoughts.
She was drinking. (That would most definetly explain the change in facts/confusion/etc)
And, did the two of you make it clear you were EXCLUSIVE?
I still think you are focused on the wrong things. Communication s... (read in full...)
Is this a scam?
Q. I have an appointment with a Casting Agency, which i applied to to become a Supporting Artist/Extra, but they told me that i have to pay £40 to have some photos taken !. Do you think this is a scam, and should i not bother going to them ?. I have ...
A. 7 September 2011: Legitimate agencies do not charge YOU for pictures or appointments of any kind. They make money FOR you and from you.
However, if you are breaking into the entertanment business, seek out your own photographer and develop a portfolio of the type... (read in full...)
So am I just being paranoid or is there something wrong with this picture?
Q. Ok, I need your input..Im not very good at spotting deception. I started seeing this girl, started out real good but then got a little rocky..we broke up, a couple days latter we talked and hashed out our problem..during the conversation, which ...
A. 7 September 2011: I am focused on this statement you made:
before saying good night she asked me "so where does that leave us? where are we?" and I replied "well we just go forward from here and keep in mind that we are friends above all else first, no matter wh... (read in full...)
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